Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Being there for your friend
• Part 2 of 3: Helping your friend move on
• Part 3 of 3: Preventing destructive behavior
• Tips

If your friend is dealing with a breakup, the death of a loved one, or some other difficult time, you probably want to do everything you can to help. While you can't do or say anything to make the pain go away, you can be there for that friend and offer a lot of support. Regardless of the situation, as a good friend, you can play a hugely important role in helping to heal a broken heart.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Being there for your friend

1. State that it is okay to grieve. Your friend has to deal with his or her emotions to get through this difficult time, so encourage him or her to deal with them head-on. Remind them that they will never feel better if they continue to deny what happened or ignore the feelings about it.
   • Let it be known that it is okay to cry. Tears Can Help Heal!
   • If you feel like your friend is bottling up the emotions, explain that this can make it more difficult to get past the pain.
   • The stages of grief are usually grief, shock, remorse, isolation, and acceptance. Don't be too concerned if your friend experiences all of this, or if they leave and come back.
   • Everyone grieves differently, so try not to judge how your friend handles it. However, if he / she appears to be paralyzed with grief and is not getting better, consider talking to a therapist.
   • If your friend has lost someone close to them, it can help to grieve if you help plan some sort of memorial.
2. Listen. Sharing your own feelings will help your friend heal from a broken heart, so make sure he / she knows you're there to listen when needed. Be a good listener and let the other person speak for as long as he / she wants.
   • Express your willingness to listen. Your friend may want to talk, but is concerned that it is too much of a burden for you.
   • Reach out to the other person as soon as you learn what happened and let them know you're thinking about them. You can let them know that you are willing to listen, but don't feel offended if the other person doesn't feel like talking yet.
   • Don't try to give advice unless the other person asks for it. The person may just feel like taking a break.
   • If that friend doesn't want to talk, encourage him / her to write down their own thoughts in a journal.
   • It is good to ask questions about what happened, especially if you are good friends. By doing this you will understand what people are going through and how you can help.
3. Be empathetic. Let the friend know that you care about their feelings and want to help them through this difficult time. Rather than pass judgment, just acknowledge the other person's pain and say that you hate that they are going through this.
   • Always show compassion in a simple way by saying something like, "I'm sorry for your loss."
   • If your boyfriend is going through a breakup, don't feel like you have to say anything negative about his / her ex to make him feel better. Instead of saying something like, `` He was a real jerk and you're better off without him, '' just acknowledge the sense of loss that friend feels by saying, `` It must be really hard to losing what you cared about so much. '
   • It usually doesn't help to show your friend the good side of his / her situation either. Instead of saying, "Everything happens for a reason," just say, "I'm sorry for what you're going through. How can I help?'
   • Don't tell the person that whatever happened, it didn't happen for nothing. You run the risk of downplaying the other person's pain if you say something like this.
4. Stay in touch with your friend. Heartbreak can linger for a long time, so don't expect your friend to be better after a day or two. Contact us regularly and ask how the other person is feeling. Always remind them that you are there to help and support them in any way they need to.
   • Don't wait for them to contact you. They may really need you, but they may not want to contact you.
   • Call, text, or leave a note to let them know you're thinking about them. Depending on how strong your bond is, you may want to do this every day or every few days until they seem to feel a little better.
   • Call at strategic times to let them know you're thinking about them. For example, if a loved one has just passed away, don't call at the funeral, but it would be nice to call that evening or the next day to see how your friend is doing.
   • When you contact a friend, remind them that you are there for the other person when they need a conversation.
5. Offer to help with small things. If your friend is so worried that he or she has neglected their daily tasks, offer them help. For example, bring some groceries or drop by to help with his / her math homework.
   • If your friend declines your help, let them know it's an open invitation.
   • If you're good friends, consider surprising him with something unexpected, like getting a pizza delivered to his house.
   • Invite him to a meal. This will help get the nutrition he / she needs and it will get him / her out of the house, which probably will be fine.
6. Don't force it. While it is great that you want to help your friend, there is only so much you can do. You have to let the other person grieve in their own way and give them time to forget about the pain. Don't expect him / her to get back up right away or try to force the other person to get over it.
   • Keep in mind that your friend may seem a little selfish during this time and may not be the best friend at the moment. Try to understand and look past this. He / she will eventually be the old self again.
   • Take baby steps in encouraging your friend to be active. If the other person doesn't feel like going to a party, suggest watching a movie together.

Part 2 of 3: Helping your friend move on

1. State how strong he / she is. The person may not feel very good about themselves at the moment, so it can help to remind them of how incredibly strong and wonderful they are. State what you admire about them and know that these qualities are just what it takes to get through this difficult time.
   • List the other person's best qualities. This can be just what the person needs to cheer up again.
   • Offer specific examples of why you think the person is. Remind the person of other difficult things he / she has tackled in life and how proud you are of how the other handled them.
2. Help the other to be independent. If your friend was used to doing everything with someone who is no longer in their life, such as an ex, your friend may feel they need that person to function. Help the person realize that they are perfectly capable of living a fulfilling life without the other person by encouraging them to do things with friends as well as alone.
   • This could include helping your friend find new hobbies that don't remind him or her of an ex, or even helping the other person make new friends. If most of the people he / she worked with in the past are friends with that ex, try introducing the person to some new people who don't even know the ex.
   • If your friend has hobbies or activities that he / she used to enjoy, make sure he / she continues to do them. This will really help divert the thoughts of the breakup.
3. Be active together. Physical activities can work wonders for the mind, so try to get the person moving. Any kind of exercise, be it an organized sport or just playing a little, will do him or her good.
   • Consider inviting the other person to a practice class with you.
   • If you can't convince them to do something too strenuous, see if you can go for a walk.
4. Encourage him / her to seek professional help. If your friend is having a particularly hard time coping with the grief, encourage that person to talk to a therapist. A professional may be able to provide your friend with the support and encouragement that his or her loved ones simply cannot provide.
   • This is especially important if your friend feels suicidal or has engaged in self-destructive behaviors, such as taking drugs or hurting themselves. Your friend needs help, so make sure he / she gets it!
   • A support group can also be an option, depending on what kind of grief the other person is dealing with. This gives him / her the opportunity to talk to other people who know exactly what the person is going through.

Part 3 of 3: Preventing destructive behavior

1. Suggest a time out from all technique. If your boyfriend has to deal with a breakup, he / she may want to spit out on an ex about ranting about it on social media, but this won't really do anyone any good. Try to convince them not to use social media for a while and to keep the details of their relationship private. This will also help prevent the other person from seeing anything the ex and / or friends may have posted about the breakup.
   • Taking a break from technology and social media can also help prevent other types of heartache, especially when there are a lot of people expressing their condolences.
2. Discourage obsessive behavior. Some activities will only make your friend's pain worse, so try to spot the destructive habits that upset the person and discourage them from doing those things. Let them know how you feel about this and encourage the other person to stop the behavior.
   • Make sure your friend doesn't bother his / her ex after a breakup. If he / she keeps calling the ex or asking everyone what the ex is doing, let your friend know you're concerned.
   • If your friend has just been fired, discourage posting or reading negative reviews about the former company online.
3. Watch out for unhealthy habits. It often happens that you neglect your health when you are struggling, so make sure your friend does not. If you notice that the other person is not sleeping, eating, or has started drinking or taking drugs, express your concern and encourage the other to make healthier choices.
   • Start a conversation with your friend if you notice any of this behavior. The other may not even realize what he / she is doing to themselves.
   • If you are really concerned about your friend, talk to other people who can help you support him or her. This is especially important if your friend is a minor. The parents need to know that their child is exhibiting destructive behavior.
4. View rebound relationships with suspicion. There are mixed opinions about whether or not it is a good idea to start a new relationship immediately after breaking up. If your friend starts a new relationship with someone else immediately after breaking up, it might be a good idea to talk to him or her about the reasons behind wanting to find a new partner so quickly.
   • If the person tries to fill the void left by an ex by entering into a relationship with someone he / she wouldn't normally find interesting, the rebound relationship will rebound the person (and the person he / she with) goes out) is likely to cause more harm than it does well.
   • On the other hand, if he / she is willing to try again and seems to have a good understanding of their own wants and needs regarding a partner, then a new relationship may be just what it takes for recovery.

Tips

• If your friend wants to talk, let him / her talk. Make sure you really listen. Don't interrupt the other.
• You can end up in a difficult situation if your boyfriend is going through a breakup and you are also friends with the ex. It's important to talk to both about their expectations so they don't get angry with you for staying in touch with the other party.