Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Helping your friend get treatment for depression
• Part 2 of 3: Supporting your friend
• Part 3 of 3: Dealing with your friend after the depression
• Tips
• Warnings

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects many people. If you have a friend who is suffering from depression, you may not be sure what you can do to help. There are several ways you can help a friend who is suffering from depression, from encouraging your friend to seek treatment to supporting them with kind words. Keep reading to learn how to help a friend with depression.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Helping your friend get treatment for depression

1. Watch for symptoms of depression in your friend. You may suspect that your friend is depressed because of the way he or she is acting. If you are unsure, there are some common symptoms of depression that can help you determine if something is wrong. Some of these symptoms are:
   • Persistent sad feelings
   • Loss of interest in hobbies, friends and / or sex
   • Excessive fatigue or slowed thinking, speaking, or moving
   • More or less appetite
   • Problems sleeping or sleeping too much
   • Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
   • Irritability
   • Feelings of hopelessness and / or pessimism
   • Weight loss or gain
   • Thoughts of suicide
   • Pain or digestive problems
   • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness and / or helplessness
2. Encourage your friend to talk to a doctor. As soon as you suspect that your friend is suffering from depression, you should encourage him or her to see the doctor. Your friend may deny there is a problem or perhaps even embarrassedly admit there is a problem. Because some depressive symptoms are atypical, many people do not associate these symptoms with depression. Apathy and numbness are often overlooked as symptoms of depression. The extra encouragement from a friend may be just what your friend needs to start seeking help. # * Say something like, "I'm concerned about you and think you should talk to a doctor about how you have been feeling lately."
   • Encourage your friend to then see a psychologist.
3. Let your friend know that you are willing to help. While your friend may be willing to seek help, he or she may also be too depressed to continue making and sticking with an appointment. By offering your continued help, you can ensure that your friend is actually getting the help he or she needs.
   • Offer to make the appointment for your friend and even see the doctor with him or her for support.
   • Offer to help your friend make a list of questions to the doctor before the appointment.

Part 2 of 3: Supporting your friend

1. Encourage your friend every day. Depression can make a person feel worthless, but you can use words of encouragement in support of your friend until your friend remembers their worth again. Say something stimulating every day to show your friend that you care and that your friend is valuable to you and others.
   • Point out your friend's strengths and achievements to help build self-esteem. For example, you could say, "You are a gifted artist. I admire your talent." Or, "I love that you raised three beautiful children all by yourself. Not everyone has the strength to do that."
   • Give your friend hope by reminding him / her that this feeling is only temporary. People who suffer from depression often feel that things will never get better, but you can remind them that they don't. Say something like, "You may not believe it now, but the way you feel will change at some point."
   • Avoid saying things like, "It's all in your head," or "Don't pretend!" Judgments like these will make the other person feel even worse and can lead to even more serious depression.
2. Let your friend know that you are there for him or her. Depression can make people feel isolated and like nobody cares about them. Even if you have expressed concern by doing things to help, they may need to hear you say that you are there for them to believe it. Let your friend know that you are available and should contact them right away if they need you.
   • You can indicate your willingness to help by saying something like, "I know you're going through a rough time, and I want you to realize I'm here for you. Call or text me if you need me."
   • Try not to get discouraged if your friend doesn't respond to your positivity or in any way you want or expect. It is common for people with depression to be apathetic, even towards those who take care of them.
   • Sometimes the best way to show your support is to just be there for your friend. You can spend time watching a movie or going to a lecture together without the pressure of talking about the depression or even hoping that something like that will cheer them up. Accept the other as they are at that moment.
   • Set limits on when you can accept phone calls or texts. No matter how much you want to help your friend, don't let helping them take up your entire life. Make sure your friend knows you care, but if he or she is in an emergency in the middle of the night, call the Suicide Helpline 113 Online at 0900-0113 or 112.
3. Listen when your friend wants to talk. Listening to your friend and trying to understand what your friend is going through is an important aspect of support during recovery. Give your friend an opportunity to tell you about his or her feelings when he or she is ready.
   • Don't pressure your friend to tell you something. Let the other person know that you are willing to listen when they are ready, and give them time.
   • Listen carefully to your friend. Nod and respond appropriately to let you know that you are listening.
   • Try to verbalize what your friend just said during the conversation to let you know that you are listening.
   • Don't get defensive or try to take over the conversation or finish sentences for the other person. Be patient, although it can be difficult at times.
   • Keep making your friend feel heard by saying things like, "I understand," "Go on," and "Yes."
4. Recognize evidence of suicidal tendencies. Depressed people sometimes commit suicide when the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness become too much to bear. If your friend talks about suicide, take it seriously. Don't assume they won't do it anyway, especially when there is evidence that there is a plan. Pay attention to the following warning signs:
   • Threatening or talking about suicide
   • Comments that they don't care about anything anymore or won't be there anymore
   • Giving stuff away. Making a will or arranging a funeral
   • The purchase of a gun or other weapon
   • Sudden, inexplicable happiness or rest after a period of depression
   • If you notice any of the aforementioned behaviors, get help right away! Call the GGZ or the national suicide prevention line at 800-273-8255 for advice on what to do.

Part 3 of 3: Dealing with your friend after the depression

1. Plan some fun outings together. When your boyfriend starts to feel better, keep distracting your friend from the depression by planning fun outings together. Choose activities that both of you enjoy and make plans to do things so that your friend can constantly look forward to something. Plan to go to the movies together, or go on a weekend hike, or have a coffee together.
   • Just make sure your friend isn't pressured into doing something he or she isn't ready for. Stay patient and persevere.
2. Laugh with your friend. Laughter is known as the best medicine, and for good reason. Recent studies have shown that laughter helps relieve depressive symptoms and can make people who are depressed feel less isolated. You probably know best what makes your boyfriend laugh, so make sure you use that knowledge to laugh with him / her on a regular basis.
   • Make sure to only use humor at the right time. If your friend is opening up to you or crying, it's not time to tell a joke.
   • Don't get discouraged or feel inadequate if your friend doesn't want to laugh. Sometimes it is very difficult to feel, even if it is good things, but hopefully this will get better over time.
3. Watch for a return of depressive symptoms. Even if your friend is feeling better, it doesn't mean he or she is healed. Depression is episodic, which means it comes back often.It is common for people who suffer from depression to experience multiple periods of depression throughout their lives. If your friend seems to be falling back into depression, ask them what's going on.
   • Say something like, "I've noticed you seem very tired lately. When did you start feeling this way?"
   • Offer your help in the same way as before and continue to encourage your friend.
4. Take care of yourself. Helping a friend who is depressed is hard work. To ensure that you do not experience an emotional crisis yourself, you will have to think very carefully about yourself. Make sure to set aside at least 30 minutes a day just for yourself. Use that time to focus on your needs, pamper yourself, or just do something you want to do. Make sure whatever you do is feeding your physical, mental, and / or emotional needs. Some things you can use this time for are:
   • A yoga class
   • Take a bubble bath
   • read a book
   • Keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings
   • Meditate or pray
   • Take a walk or bike ride
   • Spend time with other people in support and encouragement, while assisting your depressed friend

Tips

• If your boyfriend entrusts you with his feelings, don't bring up your own problems. This can make the other person feel that their depression isn't as important as your own problems, which can make things worse.
• Ask the other person daily how their day has been. Don't forget the other. Always talk to them about normal daily life, and give that person the opportunity to open up to you.
• Be patient. Don't involve other people unless the person wants to. And most importantly, remind the person that you will always be there for them. And when you say it, mean it.
• Do things for your friend. Help with work, provide a distraction or a cheerful note, and protect the person from others ... prevent and stop everyday worries makes a difference indeed.
• Stress, anxiety, and a long period of significantly depressed mood can cause or worsen depression. If your friend is sensitive to any of these conditions, it will need to be overcome through stress management, positive thinking, and other therapies or techniques that may be effective.
• Remember that having a mental illness still carries a stigma in our society. So, get permission first before discussing the depressed person's condition with a third party. You want to help him / her and not subject them to gossip.
• Don't try to make them feel better by reminding them how much better their lives are compared to many other people's.
• If your friend is prescribed antidepressants, make sure he / she knows that others may be asked for other forms of therapy, such as counseling, cognitive behavioral therapy, or dialectical behavioral therapy.
• Once you discover that your friend is depressed, don't try to treat him or her any differently than you did before.
• If the depressed person is a dear person, make sure you regularly tell them how important they are to you and how much you care about them. It is also important to share the positive contributions they have made to your life and that of others.

Warnings

• Never tell them that their problems are nothing or that there is nothing to worry about. Then they stop talking.
• Self-harm can precede suicide, so keep a close eye on this and proceed with gentle encouragement and reassurance. However, self-harm does not necessarily mean that a person becomes suicidal, but it generally indicates that a person has serious problems with stress and / or anxiety, and while it is possible that it is just about getting attention, you should never, ever assume.
• Many suicide attempts can occur when people seem to be feeling better, rather than when they appear severely depressed. When someone is at rock bottom, they may not have enough energy to do anything. As soon as the energy has returned, the moment will come for action.
• If it works and a crisis arises, try calling a health care provider or suicide line before involving the police. There have been cases where police intervention in the case of people in mental crisis has resulted in traumatization or death. If possible, involve someone who you are sure has the expertise and training to deal with mental or psychiatric crisis situations.