Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 2: Text her
• Method 2 of 2: Call her up
• Tips
• Warnings

Sending text messages or chatting on the phone can be a fun, relaxed way to get to know a girl, especially if you don't often meet her personally. But getting her phone number and knowing what to say can seem like an impossible task. Read on to learn more about appearing charming over the phone.

To step

Method 1 of 2: Text her

1. Ask for her number. This may seem like the hardest step to step, but it is necessary! If she gives you her number, then you can safely assume she's open to you sending her a message. Here are a few tips on how to proceed:
   • Try not get her number in a scary way. You don't want to come across as a stalker, so don't rely on furtive methods to get her number. This also means that you do not try to find out through her friends, online or other devious ways. Her phone number is private information and she has the right to give it only to people she is okay with.
   • Find an excuse. Don't worry, she must have figured out getting her number is a lame excuse, but she might be willing to give it to you anyway! If you're out with a group, ask for her number so everyone can plan their plans accordingly. If you are in the same class, ask if you will exchange phone numbers to do homework.
   • "Exchange phone numbers". Give her your number and then say, "And what's yours?" or "Sorry, I didn't get your number yet?"
   • Just ask. If you can't come up with an excuse but don't worry - just ask. Keep it casual and start with something like, "Hey, are you okay with me texting you?" or the standard "Can I have your mobile number?" This should work well if the two of you are finishing a fun date or some hookup that went well.
2. Pick a good time for your first message. If you text her too quickly, you may seem too eager; wait too long and it seems like you are not interested. What is than the perfect time? There is no way to say this exactly, but keep the following things in mind:
   • Wait at least a day. Getting her phone number in the afternoon and then calling the same evening can seem overly eager, and "too eager" sometimes translates to "scary" for some girls. It will be tough to have patience, but try it anyway.
   • Choose a time that you can expect her to respond to your message. Don't send your first try when she's likely at school or work and too distracted to text you back. Rather opt for the evening, around 8 a.m., on working days. On weekends, you can try any time of the day except in the evening when she might be out with friends.
3. Introduce yourself again. Don't assume she automatically knows who you are.
   • If you are already close friends, your name should be enough, such as "Hey Ina, with Jan. How is your evening so far? :)".
   • If you just met her, you may need to give some more context, like "Hey Brigitte, it's Jan. It was really nice talking to you last Tuesday."
4. Talk about cows and calves. Text messages are a perfect medium to talk about nothing, so use this to your advantage! Don't worry too much about saying something profound and interesting when texting a girl for the first time - the willingness to have a conversation about this and that and be involved in the more worldly side of life is enough for her at the moment.
   • Ask her how her day went. It's that simple, and it can start a whole conversation.
   • Bring up something you talked about the last time you saw her. This could be a get-together, a common interest, or just pick up where the conversation ended last time.
   • Ask her about her interests. Most people are comfortable talking about themselves, so make it easy for her by asking about the things she likes. So you can ask, for example, what she does in her spare time or what her hobbies are. If you already know what you're interested in, ask her if she can tell you more about it. For example: "Last time you said that you like horse riding, to be honest I don't know anything about that. I think that would be fun to do, can you tell us a bit more about it."
5. End it in time. Ending the conversation before the conversation becomes difficult helps her keep a good impression of you, and makes the question of what to talk about next time less urgent. As soon as you notice that the conversation is ending, put it to a stylish end.
   • Tell her you enjoyed texting her. Try to end the conversation on a positive note. Like, "This was great, I'd love to talk to you again."
6. Make an appointment for the next time. Create the expectation that you will text her again at the end of the conversation. Note that next time you want to know more about her interests, or are already looking forward to texting her again. A simple "Maybe I'll talk to you again tomorrow?" also works.
7. Start the conversation with a compliment the second time (optional). If the first texting session went well, gather your courage and compliment her the second time. It's a quick way to make her feel special and let her know you're interested.
   • Build up to an opening. "Hey whopper" is short, simple and clear. Or try something like "How is my favorite girl today?" if you want to give it a more flowery shape.

Method 2 of 2: Call her up

1. Ask for her number. This may seem like the hardest step to step, but it is necessary! If she gives you her number, you can safely assume she's open to you sending her a message. Here are a few tips on how to proceed:
   • Try not get her number in a scary way. You don't want to come across as a stalker, so don't rely on furtive methods to get her number. This also means that you do not try to find out through her friends, online or other devious ways. Her phone number is private information and she has the right to give it only to people she thinks is okay.
   • Find an excuse. Don't worry, she must have figured out getting her number is a lame excuse, but she might be willing to give it to you anyway! If you're out with a group, ask for her number so everyone can plan their plans accordingly. If you are in the same class, ask if you will exchange phone numbers to do homework.
   • "Exchange phone numbers". Give her your number and then say, "And what's yours?" or "Sorry, I didn't get your number yet?"
   • Just ask. If you can't come up with an excuse but don't worry - just ask. Keep it casual and start with something like, "Hey, are you okay with me calling you once?" or the standard "Can I have your number?" This should work well if you guys are finishing a fun date or some interaction that went well.
2. Call at the right time. Timing can make the difference between a successful and a failed call. Picking the right time can make you appear confident but interested and increase your chances of hitting her at the right time.
   • Wait a day or two. The dividing line is narrow - calling her too soon can make you seem desperate; if you call too late, it seems as if you are not interested. Give her a day or two to wonder if you're going to call her and spark her interest.
   • Call her in the evening. Calling her in the middle of a workday or if she might be at school can make for an awkward conversation - she'll be in a hurry to put the phone back on, making it difficult for you to decide if she is or is not interested. Better call her in the evening, around 7 or 8 am. She'll probably be done with dinner and / or homework by then, and have time to chat.
3. Relax. Before picking up the phone, take a few deep breaths and try to relax. Don't risk mumbling and stumbling over your words because you are nervous. Practice speaking at a moderate pace and keep your tone clear and clear.
   • Find a quiet place. If you are really nervous, try to make the call from a secluded place. You will then worry less about the fact that people can listen to what you say or that they pulverize your concentration.
4. Practice good phone etiquette. How you respond to someone answering the phone says a lot about your manners and how nervous you are.
   • If someone other than her answers the phone, say, "Hi, is [girl's name] here?" The person on the other end of the line can ask who you are. As an answer you can just give your name, or your name and a certain context ("With John, I am in the same class in Spanish as [girl's name].") If she is not present, please handle it calmly and ask if you can leave your number, so she can call you back if necessary.
   • When she picks up herself, say something like, "Hi [girl's name]! With Jan, you gave me your number on Tuesday." Reintroducing yourself may seem a bit strange, but it's an important step so she knows right away who's calling.
5. Talk about everyday things. What her day was like, homework, work, friends, and her interests are perfect, easy topics to focus on.Don't think that you should start talking about deep, complex topics right away - what you really want to show her right now is that you are interested in what she thinks and want to get to know her better.
   • Keep your conversation focused on her. Most people don't mind talking about themselves because it's a topic they're pretty familiar with, so ask about her interests, what she thinks about something that happened recently, how her day went, and so on. Make it easy by asking about a topic you know she likes, like "I know you love watercolors. I'd like to know more about that."
   • Ask her about her day. Maybe she needs a listening ear to talk about something that happened.
   • Bring up something you talked about the last time you saw each other. This could be a mutual joke, a shared interest, or simply picking up a conversation where you left off last time.
6. Know when to end the call. It is much better that you call too short than too long - so that you don't get bored with her! By interrupting the conversation when it is still in full swing and interesting, you can avoid embarrassing silences at some point and make her look forward to the next time. If you hear three full seconds of silence at any time, it's time to stop.
   • End the conversation with a compliment. Say something like, "This was great! We should do more often," letting her know that you're not hanging up because she said something wrong.
7. Give it a few days before you call again. As much as you'd like to call her again as soon as possible, just wait. Expecting her to talk to you every day puts a lot of pressure on her, because such a level of close involvement is usually reserved only for people in steady relationships. But you can call her once or twice a week and see if she starts responding by calling you too!

Tips

• When you call her, ask questions that allow her to answer more than one word. This will help keep the conversation going and give you more time to think about the next topic.
• Remember that text messages are limited in their ability to convey nuances, especially subtle humor. There are ways to do something about this, such as writing "lol," but remember, the girl can't hear you or see your body language. If you're concerned that something could be misinterpreted, don't text it.
• Don't invite her over to your house to watch TV or a DVD if you've never met her before. This can be thought of as a way to get her into bed.
• Don't call or text girls late at night. This could be considered a "booty call" way of getting her into bed, something that would be considered an insult by most self-respecting girls.
• If you call her and get her voicemail, should you leave a message? For the days of cell phones and caller ID, you could always avoid the tricky matter of leaving a message if you wanted to. These days, chances are she'll see you called, and then you might as well leave a message. Don't forget to include your number as there's always the chance she won't be able to see yours.
• If she says no, give her a moment.
• These tips are about calling or texting someone for the first time. If you've been in contact with the girl on the phone before, hopefully you don't need any further advice.
• This is fun!

Warnings

• Don't text or call her too often or she might feel like you're stalking her. If you're really interested in her but she doesn't respond to the first text, please try again a few days later. But if she doesn't respond to SMS (don't send more than one!), Try to get in touch a week later by calling her. If that doesn't work, then it's time to give it up.