Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Declare Your Personality
• Part 2 of 3: Organize Your Head
• Part 3 of 3: How to Make Dreams Come True
• Tips
• Warnings

Some people spend most of their lives unnecessarily worrying about other people's expectations of them. Or, even worse, they just let life take its course and passively go with the flow. The only way to start living your own way is to admit that it is yours a life. You and only you can make your life better or, conversely, worse. Use your inner strength and start living the way you want it today.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Declare Your Personality

1. 1 Realize that you have freedom of choice. There are three proven elements in life: choice, opportunity, change. You must become the one who makes the choice to use opportunities, otherwise nothing will change in your life. Only you have this power. And it only depends on you what you do with it. Everyone else has the same choice. The life you want begins with the realization that you can live this way (that is, live on your own terms) if you make that choice.
   • Everything that you see in your daily life, and every person with whom you often communicate, appeared next to you as a result of your choice. If you don't like your life, make the decision to change it. Right now.
2. 2 Show firmness. If you constantly ask for advice and guidance from others, by doing so, you kind of give them control over how your life develops. This can lead to other people making decisions for you, you can become financially dependent on others, or wait for them before you do something. Always keep your life in check. Even if you ask other people for advice, take their suggestions into consideration, but always be the only one who makes decisions.
3. 3 Reassess your values. Who you are as a person, what kind of people you surround yourself with, what you do to ensure your life, what you love passionately - all of this is based on your personal values. Values ​​are what you hold dear, both in yourself and in others. Along with your personal beliefs, values ​​influence your overall life.
   • Find out what your values ​​are, conduct a personal values ​​assessment. Understanding what your values ​​are can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, what motivates you, and what your dreams are. Search the Internet for "personal values ​​assessment" and you will receive a whole list of different tests to help you with this.
4. 4 Dream big. As you begin to move towards life on your own terms, you will need to determine exactly what this means to you. Does this mean that you need to move to another country? Or maybe you should give up your current major and choose to study some other discipline? Or maybe you just need to cut the strings that someone has tied you like a doll to control your life and your decisions?
   • Take a piece of paper and a pen, sit down and think about what are your wildest dreams in your life. Write them all down.
   • This step is just to explore yourself. It doesn't matter that you don't have any plan right now to make your dreams come true. You just need to discover what you really want from your life.

Part 2 of 3: Organize Your Head

1. 1 Set aside any other people's expectations. Of course, this is not an easy moment. But today you need to make a decision to stop worrying about what other people think of you. This can be very difficult to do, especially if you have lived your entire life under the guidance of your parents, teachers, or friends. However, this step is necessary if you do not want to continue dancing to someone else's tune.If you always try to please others, then you are taking on an impossible task that you still cannot cope with. Here are some tips on how to make other people's expectations stop haunting you:
   • Understand that your worry about what others will think is paralyzing you. Just agree that you cannot act effectively if someone else is in control of your actions. Think, because someone might want you to go to the right, while another person who is also very significant to you wants you to go to the left. And what will happen? You will find yourself in a dead end and will not budge at all.
   • Trust your instincts. If you know what your core values ​​are, you can trust your decision-making skills to the extent that your decisions are in line with your values. If you are worried about something that you are doing or about what you are thinking, cool your fervor and refrain from making a decision until you have considered all the options.
   • Stop waiting for outside approval. At the very beginning of life, we depend on signals from other people (such as smiles, rewards, grades, and so on) to tell us whether we are good or bad. But we repeat: if you know your values ​​and what you want in your life, then you do not need to seek the approval of others. Regularly reevaluate yourself and your life to make sure that you are acting in line with your values ​​and dreams and that you are doing what is best for you.
2. 2 Realize the power of your thoughts. As they say, thoughts are the architects of our destiny. It is believed that thoughts have real physical impact and energy, and what they are focused on determines your well-being and behavior. The problem is that people often spend too much time thinking about what they don't want or don't like, rather than what they want and love. Submit your thoughts to yourself - and your success will be inevitable.
   • Try to keep track of your thoughts better. Focus your attention on the inner conversation with yourself that is constantly happening in your head: at breakfast, in the shower, during training. Are your thoughts negative? Are they positive? Are they neutral?
   • Spend some time observing your thoughts and sorting them. After that, notice how you feel in your body when you think about all this. Maybe you want to crawl into bed and wrap yourself in a blanket? Or maybe you want to hug everyone you meet? Note that negative thoughts tend to be associated with a negative attitude, while positive thoughts lead to a more positive attitude.
   • Make it your goal to become a champion of positive thinking. If you notice that your thoughts are rushing in a negative direction, ask yourself how much they correspond to reality.
   • For example, you may think that you will never get the job you want. This makes you feel unwell, and as a result, you lose all motivation to look for a job. You can conquer such negative thoughts if you find evidence to the contrary. Perhaps you have previously had success in some ambitious endeavors, even if it took some time to implement them. If so, then it proves that you can just as sooner or later find a job that you like.
3. 3 Stop comparing. Comparison steals joy. If you water your lawn, then what do you care if the other's grass is greener. This can be especially difficult in our time, when a person through the media can constantly observe how his life looks in comparison with others (you see there only vacations and luxurious dinners, and not quarrels with spouses or food poisoning, because of which they are 5 hours sat in the toilet). You already know that you can only control one life - your own. If you compare yourself to someone else, then your attention will be focused not on yourself, as it should be, but on the other person.
   • Instead of comparing yourself to others, try to compare yourself to your former self: a month ago, six months, a year ago. After intense basketball training, you didn't become Steve Curry, but you started playing significantly better than a month ago. It is important that you reach the best level for yourself and not become better than someone else.
   • Comparing yourself to others is a game in which you will never win: there will always be someone smarter, younger, prettier, healthier, and so on. But remember, no one is living a perfect life. People who seem perfect to you are also struggling in their lives.

Part 3 of 3: How to Make Dreams Come True

1. 1 Set specific goals and timelines that will motivate you to take action. You may have already heard that you need to set goals using SMART technology, which implies that goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, result-oriented and time-bound. Therefore, take the piece of paper on which you wrote down your wildest dreams. Make a plan of action and provide these goals with measurable steps with reasonable, but not too relaxing, timelines for reaching them.
   • Take the next step towards achieving these goals and find a partner who knows the situation and to whom you will be accountable. Ask a colleague, close friend, or family member to check your progress report every week on the steps you have taken to achieve your goals. This approach will give you additional incentive to take action.
   • If you can't find such a partner, download yourself an app that will remind you of your goals.
2. 2 Do something every day that will bring you a little closer to achieving your goals. And do it first. If you are serious about living the life you want, you should put your goals first. Every week, make sure that your most important, high-priority tasks come first every day. In this case, even if you don't complete all your other plans for the day, your day will still be meaningful.
   • If you have a passion for doing something, don't let money get in the way. Don't give up because you don't have time for this either. If your dreams are important enough to you, you will find time for them.
3. 3 Spend time with people who inspire, support, and value you. The people around you can support you as you strive to live your own life. You are unlikely to see positive changes in your life if you spend most of your time with negative people. The positive energy you receive from your friends and loved ones boosts your self-confidence, reduces stress levels, and makes you happier.
   • Of course, it is impossible to completely get rid of those who endlessly criticize you, try to suppress or arrange petty dirty tricks. Just keep in mind that such people are energy vampires, and keep track of your thoughts that appear in the presence of these people. If you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, convert them to more positive ones.
4. 4 Use your opportunities. Get out of your shell and gain experience. If you have lived in the past waiting for approval from others, you may find it difficult to take risks. However, taking even small risks can help you build confidence and strength. It will also help you learn better how to overcome obstacles and develop your abilities.
5. 5 Learn from your mistakes. By taking risks to achieve your goals, you are more likely to make mistakes. Don't focus on them, just analyze and draw conclusions that will help you grow and move on. We often learn best when we find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation. Mistakes and blunders do not last forever. So use your losses to get better and win the next time you take risks again.

Tips

• Be patient with yourself when you are wrong.
• Overcome the negative thoughts that come to you in the process with a stack of flashcards with inspirational phrases written on them. Reread them several times a day until they become familiar to you and begin to automatically come to your mind.
• Allow yourself to live your own life. Don't expect someone else to do it for you.
• If you've lived most of your life at the behest of other people, don't expect rapid progress.
• Develop persistence. Listen to your opponents. But don't let them stop you.
• Realize that you don't have to be liked by everyone all the time, but don't do anything just to make a lot of noise. Make sure that your "special" choice is based on your personal beliefs and aspirations to make the world a better place. No one will applaud the "peculiarities" of a person who only wants to attract attention to himself.

Warnings

• “The desire to live your own life should never become a pretext for hostile or rude and irresponsible behavior.
• If someone is trying to restrict you on your path, then before striking back, think about who this person is. If these are your parents, a police officer, a lawyer, and so on, you better think seriously about what they want to tell you. Officials have power for a specific purpose, even if you don't see much benefit in it yet.
• There is nothing good about being "yourself" if you are "yourself" far from being a positive, kind and loving person who is accepted by his loved ones.