Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 5: Understand Attraction
• Part 2 of 5: Be Great
• Part 3 of 5: Win Her Heart
• Part 4 of 5: Take her for who she is
• Part 5 of 5: Treat her like an equal
• Tips
• Warnings

Who doesn't want to fall in love? This is a normal desire, and it occurs as often as pictures of cats on social networks. If you like a girl and desperately want her to love you, there are several ways to spark her interest. You will have to become more attractive to her using verbal and non-verbal means, show your best side and not be lazy to get to know her better. Most importantly, be yourself and respect her for who she is.

Steps

Part 1 of 5: Understand Attraction

1. 1 Understand how physical attraction works. Biochemistry is at the heart of all our emotions, thoughts and hopes. We are created to love! So attraction is based on chemical processes in our brain. The feeling of attraction is created by the work of a group of neurotransmitters called monoamines (serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine).
   • Dopamine is one of those chemicals that make you feel happy. This element also affects the level of motivation and reward. If you meet someone who is attracted to you, dopamine begins to send signals to the brain that tune in to positive emotions.
   • Norepinephrine (not to be confused with adrenaline) is responsible for delivering signals to the central nervous system. Norepinephrine is responsible for your ability to "block" information that is not as interesting as this beautiful girl opposite.
   • Serotonin is responsible for regulating many things in your body, including body temperature and sexual activity. When you are attracted to someone, serotonin raises your body temperature, which increases the electrical conductivity of your skin. That is why love, in the literal sense of the word, can give goosebumps.
   • In fact, during falling in love, the same chemical reactions occur in the brain as when using drugs, caused by dopamine and oxytocin. If you don't like the girl, in fact, you have nothing to do with it, the chemical reactions of the brain are to blame.
   • According to research from Rutgerts University, the brain takes less than one second to determine how attractive a person is to it.
     • You may be able to change the first impression that appears in a split second, or you may not.
     • If you fail, don't take it too personally. People are unable to control their impulses, so it may not be that something is wrong with you. For example, some women are attracted to risk-takers, while others are attracted to cautious men. There is nothing wrong with either.
   • Perhaps you are afraid that understanding the mechanism of attraction will rob you of the mystery and magic associated with feelings. However, in reality, you will only be convinced that love and attraction are an integral part of human nature. Moreover, they often cannot be explained from a rational point of view. Chemistry simply either works or not.
2. 2 Take care of your health. Women tend to be attracted to men who take care of themselves. Therefore, you need to look well-groomed and healthy. A strong and healthy body, from the point of view of evolution, is a signal that your genes are also strong and healthy, which means that you are suitable for procreation.
   • A healthy body and grooming are also signs of self-confidence and healthy self-esteem, which most people find attractive.
   • This does not mean at all that you need to go to extremes and become a marathoner or bodybuilder. However, it is worth going to the gym or joining an amateur soccer team to become healthier, more confident, and attractive. Just try to be the best version of yourself and remember that you don't have to look your best to look good.
3. 3 Take care of your appearance. It is your appearance that will make the biggest and strongest impression. Even if you have a great dating page and good communication, if you smell disgusting when meeting a girl in the real world and you are awfully dressed, it will nullify all efforts.
   • Watch out for smells. Most modern women find strong body odors repulsive. A man who doesn't wash regularly, doesn't use deodorant, or wears stale clothes will fail.
   • Take care of your body. You can find love even if you are not ideal: you are overweight, go bald, suffer from eczema.However, do your best to improve your appearance, and you will become not only more attractive, but also more confident.
   • Dress well. Every society has its own ideas about what clothes make you more attractive and testifies to your masculinity, energy and confidence. Dressing unattractive, sloppy, or very odd is a signal to women that something is wrong with you.
4. 4 Learn the basics of sign language. Sign language can be both conscious (like winking) or subconscious (biting lips). People convey a variety of messages through sign language, including the message that they like you. Most gestures carry one of the following messages in one way or another:
   • “I am free”: there is no partner / partner, the person looks confident and calm.
   • “I'm interested”: The person is friendly, ready to start or maintain a conversation, and even flirt.
   • "I will not harm": no aggressive or strange behavior.
   • “I am fertile”: the person gives the impression of a young, healthy, full of energy.
   • “It’s easy to deal with me”: the person is open and relaxed.
5. 5 Watch your sign language. Signs such as "I am free" and "I am easy to deal with" suggest that the woman is interested in you. Possible signals:
   • smile;
   • eye contact;
   • showing interest (instead of looking at, for example, a phone with enthusiasm);
   • she stands or sits relaxed without crossing her arms and legs;
   • she makes the socks of her shoes look at you during the conversation;
   • she looks at you from afar, periodically looking away.
6. 6 Look for signs that you are considered attractive. Body language is often unconscious and manifests itself when we like someone. There are also quite conscious actions. Look for signs that a girl likes you and is interested in you.
   • Her cheeks turn red.
   • The lips become brighter or more plump.
   • The pupils dilate.
   • She removes the "barrier" that was between you (for example, removes the bag standing between you).
   • The heartbeat suddenly quickens and the breathing quickens.
   • She licks her lips.
   • She casually copies your gestures. For example, if you shift your weight from one leg to the other, after a few seconds it does the same.
   • It briefly touches your hand, wrist, or knee.
   • Remember, none of these signs are 100% sure that she likes you. They are favorable, but don't jump to conclusions. If on the bus a flushed girl with dilated pupils has removed the bag standing between you, perhaps she just wants to give you more space out of politeness, besides, she is hot and she just dripped eye drops!
   • Never treat her as a sexual object, thinking, "She wants me." You can be rude and ruin her hopes of being friendly.
7. 7 Look at her smile. A woman's sincere smile may mean that she wants to please you. (It might just be a welcoming smile, so be mindful of body language.) By looking at which facial muscles are used during a smile, you can determine its sincerity.
   • The muscles around the eyes are also used during a sincere smile, along with the muscles in the mouth. A fake smile uses only the muscles of the mouth, such a smile seems taut and empty. Tyra Banks in America's Next Top Model has always taught models to "smile with their eyes."
8. 8 Signal your interest. Once you've made sure that there is a spark between you, show the girl through body language that you are interested in her.
   • Make eye contact and smile.
   • Get close to her. Sit down at a nearby table in the cafe or, if it's a self-service cafe, go and grab a napkin when the girl is at the cutlery counter.This can help her sense your attraction pheromones.
   • Tilting your head slightly when talking to her will show you are interested.
9. 9 Try a gambit. In other words, a "gambit" can be called a pickup plan: it is how you start a conversation. While the general pickup maker community is a pretty creepy bunch of people, you don't have to be one to borrow some of their tricks. There are three main ways to start a conversation:
   • Start a conversation directly... Be honest and get things done, for example, you might say, “You’re very cute,” or, “I’m a little shy, but I would love to talk to you.” Usually men like to use such phrases after they have started a conversation with them.
   • Harmless a way to develop a conversation. Phrases like these will help start a conversation, but will not lead you straight to the goal: "What do you think of this place?" - or: "Do you often come here?" However, girls tend to enjoy being introduced to them in this way.
   • Cute / frivolous way to start a conversation. This method includes various jokes, often even vulgar. Sometimes it helps to establish contact, but you run the risk of sounding ill-mannered, arrogant or strange. Both men and women find this method the least attractive.
   • If you are looking for a way to start a conversation with a girl, it is best to use innocuous phrases.
   • Research also shows that being honest in the first step is more likely to lead to long-term relationships, while using manipulation and frivolous jokes is more likely to lead to a short-term romance or an affair.
10. 10 Try to touch her gently if you feel she doesn't mind. Touching is a great way to show physical attraction. Do not be afraid, but if the girl shows interest in you during the conversation, try to lightly touch her hand.
    • You shouldn't touch a girl if you don't see clear signs that she is interested in you. It's usually a good idea to wait for her to touch you in some way.
    • If your girlfriend reacts negatively to your touch, apologize and don't try to repeat it - at least not yet. If she sees that you respect her and do not climb into her personal space, you can win her favor. Excessive assertiveness, on the contrary, will ruin everything.
    • Remember that different cultures treat touch differently. What is acceptable in Russia may not be so in Morocco; what is normally perceived in an ordinary city school can be censured in an Orthodox gymnasium with strict rules.
    • If you're not sure if you can touch a girl, ask! For example, hold out your hand to her, or ask: "Can I hug you?" This will show you honestly that you want to touch her, and you will be sure that you will not violate her boundaries.
    • Don't get hung up on touch. If you are just starting to flirt with a girl, physical contact is optional and may even be unnecessary. Too persistently seeking it, you will only anger or scare the girl away.
    • Often the right moment to touch comes naturally. If there is sympathy between you, it just happens naturally. For example, you will reach for the same bun in the cafeteria, or she will take your hand in the movies.

Part 2 of 5: Be Great

1. 1 Live your life. Who wants to start a serious relationship with someone who doesn't do anything all day? If you want her to fall in love with you, show her how wonderful your life is. Take a walk and do those things that make you happy, fill your life with new experiences and self-education, go to your dreams. More often than not, people are more interested in those who are self-sufficient and live an interesting life.
   • Have you always wanted to develop a video game? It is possible! To write a book? Forward! Become a speleologist? Can you do it! Follow your dream and you will find a girl who will share your passion and desires with you.
   • Asserting your own interests in the relationship will help you avoid codependency. Codependency means that partners in a relationship cannot be happy without each other. This is an unhealthy form of relationship, and you can avoid it by simply being honest with yourself. This will attract a girl who will also not be codependent.
2. 2 Show your best character traits. People not only decide who to fall in love with, but love itself arises from the fact that they include their best character traits. Love usually develops for a long time, so your task is to show that you are worthy to be with her. Give your personality to the fullest, give the girl a chance to understand who you really are and what you have to offer. A sense of humor, kindness, and honesty make you physically more attractive.
   • Other qualities that can make an impression are respect for people, kindness, hard work and intelligence.
   • Studies show that heterosexual women pay more attention to qualities such as intelligence and kindness, and only then consider physical attractiveness.
3. 3 Know how to make you laugh. Adopt a sense of humor. It's no secret that girls love guys who can make funny jokes, but it's actually a whole science. Trying jokes on your friends will help you understand which ones are successful and which are not. The best way to overcome tension when alone with a girl is to joke or tell an anecdote.
   • Remember, joking badly doesn't mean you don't have a sense of humor, just be cheerful and use your sense of humor around people.
   • Poignant or sarcastic humor is not a good idea. Try something positive, even self-irony will do.
   • For example, if you drink coffee together, you might say, “I've heard that there are two types of people: some like coffee and others are sad. What do you think?"
4. 4 Be fun. One of the most important personality traits that both boys and girls pay attention to is having fun. So do not be boring, know how to have fun, and, perhaps, the girl will find it attractive. Make mundane things like school more fun and fun, like turning a math problem into a song. Don't be too serious. And, perhaps most importantly, learn to laugh at yourself.
   • The fact that you know how to have fun, having fun with friends, and more makes it clear to the girl that you are not an aggressive or nervous person. Also, other people will be interested in communicating with you.
5. 5 Be confident in yourself. You should trust that you are worthy to be around this girl. Most girls want nothing to do with people who constantly humiliate themselves. Respect yourself, but don't get too over-the-top. Know what you are good at. Do not shout about such things or flaunt them, but take them into service and use them from time to time.
   • The difference between really self-confidence and pretending is how you actually think about yourself. True self-confidence means that you know who you are and that you feel comfortable and happy. Faking is often based on the fact that you feel the need to compete or humiliate someone in order to feel confident. Truly confident guys don't have to act like someone or act like a bully to feel cool.
   • If you feel that you have done something wrong, and there is a need to take a hit on yourself, then present everything as a joke. Laugh at your mistakes and stupid things that you do, as well as your shortcomings. “Seriously, you don't want me to invite you to dance, do you? I'm a terrible dancer.When I dance, I pose a danger to myself and others. I'd rather sit. "

Part 3 of 5: Win Her Heart

1. 1 Get to know her better. Getting to know her better isn't just about remembering her birthday and where she was born. Spend time with her, build a trusting relationship with her, and appreciate what she doesn't show everyone. Find out about her fears (such as fear of water and why she is afraid of it) or the most embarrassing moment in her life (and help her laugh at it). Understand how she thinks and what she believes. It will help you love her as a person, and she will appreciate it more than you might imagine.
   • One great way to start a conversation is to ask her an open-ended question. For example, social psychologist Arthur Aron has compiled a list of 36 questions that, when used in conversation, can help bring people closer together. They are original and require a detailed answer, thanks to them you can learn more interesting things than just her favorite movie.
   • For example, you might try asking, “Would you like to be famous? How?" - or: "What would be your ideal day?"
   • This will not only give you the opportunity to get to know her better, but it will also show her that you think that she is smart and her opinion is important to you.
2. 2 Find out what she likes to do. Then try to do it with her. This has big advantages: doing what she really likes, she will feel calm and confident. If she is comfortable on your date, she is more likely to stick close to you, take your hand, or even kiss you.
   • It doesn't matter if she loves surfing or horse riding, shopping or baking cakes, doing her favorite thing with her is a good idea. Ask her friends what she likes to do, or ask her if you have the courage (or fortune smiles at you). So she will guess that you want to know what she is really in love with, and are ready to make an effort to really make her happy.
3. 3 Take her out on awesome dates. Doing what she loves doesn't have to be on dates, but if you want your relationship to develop, you should definitely ask her out on a date. When you're ready to take this step, try inviting her out to a familiar location, such as a movie, coffee shop, or dance. Try inviting her to an amusement park or haunted house. Scientists have shown that anxiety and sense of danger helps to activate the areas of the brain that bring people closer together.
   • Think before calling your date a date. If you've already won over your girlfriend, asking for a date will prove that you're both at the same stage in the relationship. But if you have not already done this, it is better not to rush things and first make friends with her, and then move on to the romantic stage of the relationship. Sometimes a girl may not want to go into a romantic relationship if she is not sure that you are really a close friend.
4. 4 Be straightforward. You probably don't want to ask her to be your girlfriend on the first date, you may not even want to do it on the first few dates, but you have to at least hint about your romantic intentions. If you wait too long, there is a risk that she will think that you are just a friend and nothing else. Ambiguity in a relationship isn't good for you.
   • Let's make it clear that you are interested in it. For example, if you’ve had a wonderful time, you don’t have to end the conversation with just neutral phrases like “good night” or “have a nice weekend.” Say something like, “I had a great time. Do you mind if I call you tomorrow? "
5. 5 Avoid promoting yourself unnecessarily, at least in the beginning. It can be tempting to tell a girl everything about yourself or tell her how much you like her. However, this is a bad idea for two reasons:
   • First, it means that you talk more about yourself instead of listening to her.
   • Secondly, it means that you are rushing things again. The first few dates are not the time to talk about how bored you were with your boss or how bad your ex was. This “self-revealing” behavior can make you feel angry, unrestrained, and out of touch with your personal space.
   • You don't have to remain "Mr. Mysterious." You can start with what you like and what you don't, then your conversation will develop harmoniously. If she is interested in you, she will start asking you questions herself. Just try to keep a balance between what you are sharing and what she is sharing.
6. 6 Give her more space. This does not mean that you should let everything go by itself, but it is worth giving her control over the further development of your relationship. Pressing her and pulling her into a relationship will give you exactly the opposite effect you want. Let her know that you respect her life outside of your relationship; if you let the girl breathe freely, her love will come naturally.
   • When you give her freedom, try not to distance yourself from her. Continue to call her regularly and show that you are interested in her. If you are shy, don't stray too far, or she will think that you are not interested in her. You will have to crawl out of your shell, at least a little, if you want to get her attention.
   • If you've recently been on a date and everything was great, tell her you'll call before the end of the week if it was Friday. Let her go about her business on Saturday, and then call on Sunday and tell her you had a great time and would like to meet again, perhaps next weekend. This will be a great occasion to invite her to some kind of party or dance.
   • When you give her free space, you show how confident you are. Basically, you're saying, "I had a great time with you and I really like you, but I'm not going to grab the bull by the horns, I'm not desperate." Both guys and girls are attracted to calm people who do not force events and do not take desperate steps.

Part 4 of 5: Take her for who she is

1. 1 Don't judge her. Do not judge any of the girls for whom you have any feelings. She is a person in her own right, with her qualities, the same person as you are. We all do things that other people think are crazy or strange. You have to decide if you can live with these little oddities, or if this is a reason to end the relationship.
   • If you decide that you can live with everything that she gets up to, do not change your mind. Don't try to change it. Do not criticize or find fault with her oddities. Accept her for who she is.
   • Her character doesn't make her a bad person. Even if you decide that any of her qualities are a reason for breaking up, this does not give you a reason to be rude with her.
2. 2 Don't expect her to change. In fact, if you can get rid of most of the "expectations" about her, then you will surely be happier in your relationship. The expectations we place on other people are often unfounded, and we get angry and sad if they are not met.
   • However, this does not mean that you should not expect anything from her or that you can let her mistreat you. It's okay to expect her to come if she has promised (unless something important happened that prevented her), or that she will treat you with understanding and respect and show compassion and kindness to others.
   • If you expect her to read your mind and guess your needs, you will most likely be disappointed because no one can read other people's minds.
   • Moreover, the characters of people are very diverse.If your girlfriend is always late, and you've talked to her about it, but nothing has changed, it is likely that it will never change. You may decide that you cannot deal with this problem, or you may decide to let her be herself (being late, and so on), but you may not expect her to change.
3. 3 Open up to opportunities. Don't get hung up on one person, don't try to get a girl to love you. Despair is unattractive.
   • Chat with many girls for more opportunities to start relationships. Take courses. Do not be afraid to attend different clubs if someone invites you. You never know when you will meet that special person who will knock the earth out from under your feet.
   • Sometimes, when you stop looking for love, it suddenly falls on your head. The universe works in a strange way. If you've tried really hard recently, or if you're just running out of energy, you'll want to end it. It sounds strange and sad, but it works: when you stop trying, girls find you on their own.
   • Be creative. Perhaps the girls you know have girlfriends and may be of interest to you. Many guys now find girls outside of their usual social circle. If you are old enough, try meeting someone online. If you are interested in meeting new people, you should broaden your interests in order to have a choice. When you are looking for the girl of your dreams, it helps to broaden your horizons and experience many different adventures.

Part 5 of 5: Treat her like an equal

1. 1 Respect her thoughts, feelings and emotions. Try to see things from her point of view. Show her that you respect her opinion, even if you disagree with it.
   • You should really ask her opinion, and not decide for yourself what she might think. When she speaks, listen to her.
   • If you can't see things from her perspective, try asking her, “I really want to understand why you think so, but I can't. Can you explain to me how you feel? "
2. 2 Be honest and straightforward with her; honesty in all situations is the foundation of trust. If trust is deceived once, it will never be returned. From that moment on, any of your words will be doubted. Be yourself and be honest.
   • Show your true intentions. Be honest about your wishes and plans. If she doesn't like them, then at least you can talk to her and come to a compromise.
   • There is a difference between being honest and manipulating you. For example, you don't have to show your messages or emails to prove that you are trustworthy. You don't have to report every minute of your day. This is destructive behavior and has nothing to do with healthy relationships.
3. 3 Be prepared to listen and communicate. Learning to listen patiently is very important, and understanding what you accomplish helps you build healthy relationships and respect and understand each other.
   • Hear what she has to say. Don't think about what you're going to answer while she's still talking. Ask her to explain everything that you don't quite understand: “I'm not sure I understood correctly. When you said _____, what did you mean? " This method will help to avoid misunderstandings and does not hurt the feelings of the interlocutor.
   • Avoid passive aggression. Passive aggression is when your girlfriend asks you if everything is okay, and you answer: "Yes, but should something be wrong?" - when you are actually upset about something. This is a way to express your anger without expressing it directly. It can ruin your relationship. Talk about your feelings openly and honestly, but stay respectful.
   • Use first-person sentences, such as saying, “I’m sorry you didn’t call on Tuesday as you promised,” rather than “You hurt my feelings by not calling me on Tuesday.” Second-person sentences can make a person become defensive.
   • Communication is never one-way. She should also listen to you and take your opinion into account.
4. 4 Embrace her personality. Try to understand what makes it unique. Rejoice in her uniqueness and her achievement, and help her do the things that make her happy or enjoyable.
   • It's great when you can find common hobbies. Usually someone has to compromise. For example, you want to watch an action movie, and she is the latest Pixar cartoon (or vice versa). Watch the movies one by one so everyone can enjoy watching them.
5. 5 Help her achieve her dreams. Just like with free space, you must help her achieve her dreams. This usually means giving her time to work, doing things she loves to do, or being willing to do them with her. When she sees that you support her, she will understand that you are the person she needs.
6. 6 Show your dedication. Always be her friend and confidant. Forgive her weaknesses and work to develop her best features. At the same time, be prepared to change, become the best version of yourself. Love is a partnership in which everyone wants the best for the other. Remember this, and you will be able to fall in love with the girl.
7. 7 Understand that she doesn't have to fall in love with you. Sometimes people stay in the "friendship zone" if one of them does not share the feelings of the other. You can do your best, but no one promises that a girl should fall in love with you. She is a living person with her feelings, and not a prize in a computer game.

Tips

• Be funny and joke a lot, but don't draw all the attention to yourself.
• Be careful not to force things. If you hurry, you will give her the wrong impression.
• It is possible that you may very much want someone to fall in love with you, but make sure that you listen not only to your heart, but also to your mind. Love is just the starting point for a healthy relationship. The rest depends on communication, compatibility and responsibility.
• Spend your time the way she loves!
• Make her feel special so she knows that you really appreciate her.
• Spend time with her and your friends.
• Show her that she can count on you and that you can always give her good advice.
• Remember to ask her questions and get answers to them. Engage her in conversation. Tell her interesting stories.
• Smile and look into her eyes as you talk.
• Don't make her do what you want her to do. Be more democratic.

Warnings

• Remember whether you are attracted to someone or not. If she does not have any feelings towards you, you should not insist and be annoying.