Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Challenge the guy for a frank conversation
• Method 2 of 3: Heal a Broken Heart
• Method 3 of 3: Move on
• Tips

Finding out about your partner's cheating is terrible, and most likely, you are in great pain right now. When you feel ready, talk to your boyfriend about what happened. To heal your broken heart, work on your emotions and take care of yourself. Ultimately, you will be able to move on with or without a partner.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Challenge the guy for a frank conversation

1. 1 Practice your speech first. Having a serious conversation with your boyfriend will not be easy, especially if you are upset. To make it easier to get through this, decide in advance what you want to say to your partner.Then practice saying it out loud. This will help you during the actual conversation.
   • Try talking to a mirror or rehearsing with a close friend.
2. 2 Call the guy up for a conversation when you feel ready. Call or write to him and tell him that you are ready to discuss what happened. Offer to meet in neutral territory or in a place that is comfortable for you. Choose a time when both of you are free to deal with the situation without rushing.
   • For example, you can make an appointment at your home or at your local coffee shop.
   • You can write: “I need to talk to you about the situation with Nastya. Can we meet at the Rainbow Cafe at 1 pm? "

   Option: you may not know for sure whether your partner is cheating on you or not. In this case, you can write to him something like: “I have received unpleasant rumors. Can we meet at the Rainbow Cafe at 1 pm to talk? "

   
   
3. 3 If you are not sure if a guy is cheating on you, ask him directly about it. Perhaps you suspect your partner of cheating because he is moving away from you, or unpleasant rumors have reached you. In this case, it is better to ask directly than to speculate. Explain your suspicions and reasons for them. Then ask the guy if he is really cheating on you.
   • You can say: “I noticed that you have not kissed me for two weeks, and now I have heard rumors that you are going on dates with Alina. Is it true that you are cheating on me? "
4. 4 Tell your partner how the news of his cheating made you feel. He may not have tried to hurt you, but he should know how much his actions hurt you. Explain how you feel about what happened and why it hurts so much. Pour out your soul as much as possible so that you feel a little better.
   • You might say, “Right now I feel crushed and betrayed. I entrusted my heart to you, and you broke it into many pieces. "

   Option: maybe the guy will refuse to hear about your feelings, or you yourself will not want to talk to him anymore. In this case, write a letter to your partner telling how much he offended you, and then burn or tear the paper. This will make you feel better even if you don't face the guy.

   
   
5. 5 Listen his version of events, but don't take the blame. You probably know that there are two sides to every story, and it would be helpful to look at the situation through the eyes of your partner. Give him an opportunity to explain and try to understand his position. However, don't let him blame you or justify his behavior.
   • This will give the guy a chance to tell him if he wants to stay in the relationship and why you should take him back. It also helps you understand that he didn't intend to hurt you.
   • If your partner starts blaming you, raise your hand and say, “Stop. I'm not going to take the blame for your actions. If you're going to blame me, we can end this conversation right now. "
   SPECIALIST'S ADVICE

   

   Cherlyn chong

   
   
   Relationship Coach Sherlyn Chung is an dating and breakup recovery coach who helps women with successful careers to forget their exes and find love again. He is also the official coach of The League dating app. She has been covered by AskMen, Business Insider, Reuters and HuffPost.

   Cherlyn chong
   Relationship coach

   Why do people cheat on their partners? Ask yourself how you are contributing to the situation, as cheating always has a reason. Perhaps the guy wanted to get your attention or rekindle passion in bed, but you were busy, and he began to seek satisfaction on the side. Express your vision of the situation, and then sit down and discuss it.

Method 2 of 3: Heal a Broken Heart

1. 1 Allow yourself to grieve. The news of a cheating partner can be painful and you need to release it. Acknowledge your feelings and express your emotions in a healthy way. Give yourself as much time as you need to grieve. This will help you recover faster.
   • Say to yourself, "I feel betrayed now," or, "I'm so sad because I thought we were the perfect couple."
2. 2 Use positive coping strategies to work through your emotions. Perhaps sometimes feelings will make you feel depressed - express them and you will feel better. Try different coping strategies to see what helps you better deal with your emotions. For example:
   • call your best friend to pour out your soul;
   • make a diary entry;
   • take a hot bath and listen to relaxing music;
   • watch your favorite comedy;
   • go for a walk or jog;
   • do yoga;
   • express your feelings through art.
3. 3 Spend time with your support group so that you don't forget that you are loved. When our hearts are broken, it seems to us that love has left us. However, in fact, you are surrounded by many people who love you very much! Take a break from your partner's situation by spending time with friends and family. Invite them over or offer to do something fun.
   • For example, invite your best friend over and watch a movie, or go bowling with friends.
   • Try not to talk about what's going on with your boyfriend. Instead, focus on the great relationship in your life.
4. 4 Remind yourself that you are not to blame for his decisions. If your partner cheated on you, you may be tormented by questions about what you did wrong. However, there is no excuse for cheating! Your partner alone is responsible for this, so don't blame yourself. If you start to worry that you did something wrong, tell yourself that you have no control over his actions.
   • Tell yourself, “I have no control over his behavior. If he decided to change, then it is his fault, not mine. "

   Advice: sometimes unfaithful partners blame everything on relationship problems that forced them to commit adultery. For example, your boyfriend might say, "You weren't paying attention to me," or, "You were too busy with your friends, so I met another." However, the truth is that he might have talked to you about problems instead of cheating. Don't take the blame on yourself.

5. 5 Practice self-careto meet your needs. Most likely, now you are hungry for ice cream and watching TV avidly. However, you will recover faster if you eat right, take care of yourself, exercise and follow a routine. Write down a simple schedule that you can follow while recovering from mental trauma. Also, do something nice for yourself every day.
   • For example, set a goal to dress up, go to work or school, play sports, and immerse yourself in a hobby. Alternatively, you can eat simple, healthy meals such as chopped fruit yogurt, grilled chicken salad, or turkey and steamed vegetable rolls as a side dish.
6. 6 Focus on being happy instead of getting revenge. After the news of the betrayal of a partner, it is quite natural to feel the desire to get even. You can fantasize about kissing his friend or how you scratch his car, but don't make it come true. Otherwise, you will most likely only feel worse and possibly get into trouble. Instead of thinking about revenge, do what makes you feel better.
   • For example, buy yourself a new outfit, bake cookies with your best friend, or take a trip with a bunch of friends.
   • It's okay to indulge in revenge fantasies. For example, you can imagine breaking your partner's favorite music record or putting a dead fish in his car. Above all, don't make it happen!

Method 3 of 3: Move on

1. 1 Take time to think about your decisions. Reflect on what you really want.Analyze what happened, your feelings and what your partner said during the conversation. Then make the decision that's right for you.
   • If you find you want to end the relationship, do so. However, if you are unsure, take your time.
2. 2 Decide if you can continue the relationship or not. You must have lost confidence in your partner after his betrayal, and this is understandable. If you can't trust him, chances are the relationship can't be saved. Listen to your feelings: can you handle it or not? Then decide if you want to break up or stay with your boyfriend.
   • You can consult with other people, but make the decision that seems right to you.
3. 3 Forgive partnerto feel better. Take as much time as you need to forgive. Then do it for yourself, not for him. When you feel ready, tell your boyfriend that you have forgiven him, or write about it in a letter that you will never send. This will help you move on.
   • You can say: "Your act caused me great pain, but I decided to forgive you and move on."
   • Forgiving does not mean forgetting about what happened or saying that everything is in order. This is a way to show your boyfriend that you won't let his actions affect your future.
4. 4 Focus on the future if you decide to rebuild the relationship. If you want to fix things, you have to leave the episode of cheating in the past. This means not bringing up the topic in the heat of anger or resentment. Try your best to focus on the future together, not the past.
   • For example, you might be tempted to accuse a guy of cheating every time he is late. Doing this will ruin the relationship.
5. 5 Recover lost trust. It will take time to regain trust in the relationship, but it is possible. Work with your partner by talking every day and spending more time together. Also, keep your promises and also make sure the guy does the same.
   • For example, if he promises to ask you out, remind him of it. Likewise, if he promises to text you at a certain time of the day, send him a message if he forgets.
6. 6 Part with himif you decide to end the relationship. You might be better off breaking up with your unfaithful partner, especially if they've cheated on you multiple times. If you decide to break up with him, let him know in person. Tell him it's time to end the relationship and focus on the future.
   • Say, “After you cheated on me, my feelings for you changed. I am very offended and angry about what happened, and I can no longer be in this relationship. I want to finish them so I can focus on my happiness. "

   Advice: if your partner is constantly cheating on you, it is better to end the relationship and move on. Now he is not ready to be faithful to anyone else, and you deserve better. You will find the best game, and let this guy go.

Tips

• Do not stay with the person who is constantly cheating on you for fear that you will no longer meet new love. There is probably a person in the world who will treat you with love and respect!
• A good relationship takes trust, so listen to your gut. If you can't trust your boyfriend, you might be better off breaking up with him.