Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Find Out What Went Wrong
• Method 2 of 3: Apologize
• Method 3 of 3: Know when to give up or back down =
• Tips

So, you think you've stopped liking a guy (perhaps a friend or loved one). He's probably started ignoring you or declining your invitations to go out. So what should you do? If you find it difficult to approach him personally, you can try returning him via messages. Well-known strategies can be used (keep reading to learn more about them), but first make sure you really want the relationship back.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Find Out What Went Wrong

1. 1 Think about what might have happened. He may not speak to you or spend time with you because he is either angry about something you did or has made new friends and is busy with other things.
   • If he has changed his attitude toward you because he is no longer interested in being friends with you (or in a relationship, or anything else), there is little you can do to change the situation. In this case, it is in him, not in you.
   • If you think he is angry, think about why. People get angry when they think you did something that negatively affected them. Therefore, the first step towards reconciliation is to find out how you provoked this reaction.
   • Remember, sometimes what seems like an insignificant act or decision to us can have a big impact on others, so think not only about what you have done recently, but also about what actions you may have negatively affected your boyfriend.
   • Once you understand how you upset him, you can start working on resolving the situation.
2. 2 Put yourself in his place. The key to stopping someone from getting angry or upset is to show the person that you understand their point of view and how your action affected them.
   • Put yourself in his shoes and imagine how your supposedly disappointing actions affected him. Empathize with these emotions and approach the guy with that empathy in mind.
   • For example, from your side, the situation looks like this: you simply did not have time to pick it up on time, because there was crazy traffic on the roads, and halfway through you realized that you forgot your phone. There is nothing wrong with that, it just happened. However, try to look at the situation from the guy's side: he had to stand on the side of the road for 45 minutes in the cold and in the dark, although he said three times what time you should arrive, and you promised that you would be on time.
3. 3 Get involved. Once you understand what might be upsetting him, make a sincere effort to empathize with his feelings.
   • If you're late, in addition to thinking about how it might look from his point of view, imagine how he felt. For example, he may feel that you did not put him first, that you were not worried about his discomfort and his plans for a certain time, and that you broke a promise. Think about how you would feel about these things and share his feelings.

Method 2 of 3: Apologize

1. 1 Sorry. Apologize as early and repeatedly as possible. Admit you were wrong (if you were) and take responsibility for your actions.
   • Tell him that you were wrong and that you will not do it (whatever it is) again. Don't do that again.
   • Don't apologize with the mundane phrase, "I'm sorry you're so upset." This puts the responsibility on him and sounds like you don't regret your actions, but just want him not to be angry about it.
   • If he responds with a (potentially valid) angry message, apologize again. Keep apologizing if he keeps sending angry messages. Just say something like, "Sorry, I was wrong."
2. 2 Show that you understand how your actions affected him. It's unlikely that a guy will stop getting angry if you just apologize or try to explain that you acted with good intentions.
   • It is not enough to say that you are sorry. You need to show that you are aware of the negative consequences of your actions towards your boyfriend, and that you sincerely regret it.
   • If he feels like you really understand why your actions upset him, he is more likely to accept your excuses and begin to soften.
   • Even if you don't think his feelings or reactions are justified, apologize anyway. If you want to win his sympathy again, you need him to see that you understand his feelings.
3. 3 Don't escalate the situation. Words of regret will not be enough to make him love you again if you later start saying things that will exacerbate the situation.
   • For example, don't say that his reaction was unreasonable or unreasonable. This will make him feel that you are not very sorry and do not fully understand the situation, and he will be offended again.
   • Don't talk about his actions that have upset you in the past. Turning the conversation into mutual recriminations about who did what to whom will not help defuse the situation. Everything will only drag on, and the guy is unlikely to forgive you.
4. 4 Ask what you can do to make amends. This will show that you are listening to him and sincerely want to know what, from his point of view, will make the situation better.
   • For example, you can say something like: "I know that you had to wait for me for 45 minutes. You probably think that you are not important to me. How can I make amends?"
5. 5 Make him smile. Humor is disarming. If you can make him laugh, or even a little smile, the ice will gradually break.
   • Try to approach the situation with humor and self-irony. If humor is disarming, then self-irony doubles the effect. So try laughing at yourself a bit or admitting one of your charming flaws.
   • You can write him something deliberately awkward, for example: "I am very sorry that I was late picking you up. We both know that I am a fool. I must have crashed into at least 5 walls trying to get there."
   • Or you can write something more honest, but still with a slight self-irony, for example: "Do you know that I look at the time on the clock as a challenge, not a warning? Well ... and the clock won."
6. 6 Let him know what you think of him. This is especially important if the guy is angry because he thinks you are, to one degree or another, ignoring him or his needs. Remind him that you think about him, and often.
   • For example, you can send him a message, touchingly referring to the fact that you saw something that reminded you of him (a big plus if it is connected with your joint joke), for example: “I just saw a car with a license plate of the Samara region, and it reminded me of all the stories you told about your childhood there. I sit and smile. "

Method 3 of 3: Know when to give up or back down =

1. 1 Know when to back off. Don't write too much to him. Apologize, and if he doesn't immediately respond or forgive you, back off.
   • Suppose you texted him and he softened a little. However, if you continue to bombard him with messages, you may spoil everything by annoying him, not charming him.
   • If the guy needs time to get over the hurt, back off. Let him come to you when he is ready.
2. 2 Don't pressure him if he doesn't tell you why he is angry. If he doesn't reveal what upset him, it's either because he's so angry that he can't talk about it, or it's a ploy to get attention. Either way, you need to leave the problem and let the guy come to you.
   • If he seems really angry, but can't or doesn't want to say why, chances are he needs time to think things over and calm down. Even if you do not understand what you are to blame, and it drives you crazy, leave it as it is. Don't insist that he tell you. Give him the time he needs. When he is ready, he will come to you, and then you can already work on the situation.
   • If his anger doesn’t seem entirely genuine, he’s probably angry to get attention. The more you ask what is wrong and what happened, the more he will drag out the situation in order to get as much out of it as possible. Just say that you don't understand what he is angry about, and you are sorry if you did something wrong. Then leave it as it is and let him come to you when he stops trying to manipulate your attention.
3. 3 Know when to give up. If he's so angry that none of your attempts to bond or apologize work, step back from the situation.
   • At this point, there is nothing more you can do or say to please him again, so it's best to just back off.
   • After some time, he may come to his senses a little and will come up to you when he is ready to talk. You can't get him to talk to you until he's ready himself, so your best option is to wait.
4. 4 Know when the effort is not worth the result. If he is constantly angry with you about things that you either don't understand or think are unreasonable, consider if the relationship is really worth it.
   • If being around him is causing you more grief than pleasure, it may be time to just let go of the relationship.
   • If he insults you or is emotionally or physically abusive when he is angry, end the relationship immediately.
5. 5 Get some satisfaction. If all attempts fail and the guy is not going to give in despite all your actions, you can have a little fun.
   • Apology apps let you choose the gender of the person you are trying to reconcile with and the excuse you want to use to bring him back. Obviously, if your sincere efforts are unsuccessful, the app most likely won't fix the situation. However, if you have nothing to lose, then you can try it too. In the worst case, you will be entertained by messages that the application will send on your behalf, saying that you have been kidnapped by gypsies.
   • Try to come up with clever answers to his silence. If he doesn't reply to your message, and you know he probably will never, you can end on a high note. Exaggerate (“I've waited so long for you to answer that stray cats ate my face and hands, and now I'm writing to you with my toes and I'll die soon!”) ​​Or add some pertinent memes or GIFs to your final goodbye.
6. 6 Move on. No need to get hung up on the situation and not sleep at night, thinking about what you had to say or what a fool he is.
   • Accept that he is upset and that the relationship might end. Start living your life.

Tips

• If he doesn't like texting, ask if he wants to talk in person. Some people still need personal communication.
• Remember to be patient. You cannot force a person to stop being angry with you. If a guy is really angry, it will take him a while to calm down.
• Accept and acknowledge his feelings. Even if it seems to you that he is acting unreasonably, understand his feelings and take them into account. If you want to make up, this is the least you can do.
• Know when to give up. If he refuses to forgive you, you cannot force him to do it. And the more you try, the more you can make the situation worse.