Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 2: Coping with Feelings of Loneliness
• Method 2 of 2: How to Overcome Loneliness
• Tips
• Warnings

A huge number of people feel lonely. Loneliness negatively affects mental and physical health, as this feeling suppresses the functioning of the immune system, increases the risk of depression and anxiety, and distorts perception. You may feel lonely if you live in a small town and cannot find friends your age. Sometimes loneliness is the result of a change in life: moving, changing jobs or school. Keep this in mind as you prepare for big changes. Loneliness can be chronic or temporary, but there are ways to deal with this feeling and get rid of the unpleasant sensations.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: Coping with Feelings of Loneliness

1. 1 Understand that loneliness is a sensation, not an objective reality. Loneliness can provoke a feeling of abandonment, isolation, and one's own uselessness. Learn to recognize these situations and remember: they do not mean that the same is the reality. You are not destined to feel lonely.
   • Feelings can change quickly due to circumstances and attitudes. You may be lonely, but then you realize that you want to be not with friends, but alone with yourself. Perhaps a friend will call you and you will feel that you are not alone.
2. 2 Accept your feelings. Don't ignore them - they talk about what is good and what is bad in your life. As with other feelings, you should allow yourself to feel lonely. You may feel physical discomfort or want to cry, and this is normal.Let yourself go through loneliness and cry if need be.
   • You should not reflexively run away from this feeling. Many people distract themselves from loneliness with TV, work, various projects and activities that can get rid of the pain of loneliness. It is better to feel your emotions, understand how you can deal with them, and make a decision to respect your body and your feelings.
3. 3 Change your attitude. If you have thoughts that you are lonely and that you are all alone, most likely, they cause only negative associations in you. Bad thoughts arise immediately, and you begin to doubt your worth, feel unnecessary, and feel emotionally and physically exhausted. To avoid falling into this trap, try changing your attitude. Perceive your state not as loneliness, but as solitude. Treat the opportunity to be alone with yourself as a way to relax and regain your strength. By learning to enjoy solitude, you will be better able to cope with loneliness.
   • Use this time to get to know yourself better: keep a journal, meditate, read books that interest you.
   • Sometimes seclusion is inevitable (for example, after moving to another city or country). Accept the fact that you will need to be alone with yourself, and remember that this will not always be the case. Enjoy your new experience.
4. 4 Empathize with yourself. Remember that loneliness is familiar to everyone and affects everyone to one degree or another. Loneliness is part of human life. Imagine a friend tells you that he is lonely. How would you answer? What would you say? Try to show empathy for yourself. Allow yourself to turn to other people for help.
   • There is nothing shameful in loneliness - sooner or later, all people are faced with this feeling, so you should not be upset about it. Show understanding of yourself and show empathy for those who are lonely.
5. 5 Ask yourself what you are missing. Loneliness will help you understand what you are missing in life and what you want. You can be surrounded by people, lead an active lifestyle, but still feel lonely. Loneliness is sometimes not a lack of social contact, but a lack of deep emotional connections. Reflect on what you would like to have in your life.
   • Write down the moments when you are lonely. Perhaps the worst thing for you is during crowded events or at home when you are alone. Consider what can ease your feelings of loneliness. Perhaps you could take a friend to an event, and when you are lonely at home, call your sister or watch a movie. Come up with possible solutions to this problem (but don't assume that you need a boyfriend or girlfriend to solve all your problems).
6. 6 Start to overcome shyness and self-doubt. Remember that people from birth lack communication skills, they all appear in the process of development, and this is just skills, not superpowers. Often, shyness and self-doubt are the result of incorrect attitudes or fear of communication. Remember that you don't have to be perfect to be liked. If you feel unsure of yourself, try looking around to distract yourself from thoughts and feelings. Focus your attention on the other person and listen to him, not yourself.
   • Remember, there is nothing wrong with making communication mistakes. Everyone has them!
   • People pay attention to mistakes much less often than you think. More often than not, people are so passionate about themselves and their fears that they simply have no time to pay attention to the insecurity of others.
   • Look for articles on wikiHow on how to overcome shyness.
7. 7 Fight the fear of rejection. Sometimes it seems to a person that it is better to completely abandon communication than to be rejected. This fear is the result of distrust of people. You may have been betrayed in the past and are afraid to trust people or make friends.It hurt, but it's important to remember that not all friends will betray you. Look for new friends.
   • Not always being rejected means being a bad person. Perhaps someone just didn’t have time to give you enough attention or didn’t notice that you want to chat.
   • Remember that you will not like all the people you meet, and not everyone will like you. This is fine.

Method 2 of 2: How to Overcome Loneliness

1. 1 Work on your communication skills. You may be feeling lonely because you lack confidence in your communication skills. Start smiling at other people, giving them compliments, starting conversations with strangers (a salesperson in a store, a barista in a cafe, a colleague).
   • If you find yourself in an unfamiliar situation, reach out to someone and start a conversation. Say, "I've never been here before, have you? How's it going?" Perhaps this person will help you. You may just be more comfortable doing something new with someone.
   • Remember to watch your gestures. If you squeeze your shoulders, look at your feet, avoid eye contact, and cross your arms or legs, no one will come near you. Smile, remember the importance of open poses (arms and legs), lean towards the other person and look into their eyes.
   • Look for reasons to compliment. You can praise not only how a person looks ("You have a beautiful sweater"), for example: "How do you find the time to choose accessories so competently?" If you know the person well, praise their inner qualities (kindness, intelligence).
   • There are articles on wikiHow on how to improve your communication skills.
2. 2 Learn to listen. Communication is not just about speaking. It is also important to listen to the person who is speaking. Don't try to come up with perfect answers or wait for the opportunity to start talking yourself - this will put you in the spotlight, not the speaker. Instead, express interest in the topic of conversation and ask the person new questions.
   • Nod, look in the eyes, let the person know that you are listening to him ("understand", "aha", "well, yes").
   • Search wikiHow for articles on how to listen properly.
3. 3 Meet new people. Look for people with similar interests that you can get along with. Ask questions (about family, pets, interests, etc.) to get to know the person better, and answer the questions that will be asked to you.
   • Meet people through volunteering. If you love animals, volunteer at a shelter. There you will meet like-minded people and you will have many topics for conversation.
   • Look for a circle of people with similar interests. If knitting is your thing, chances are there are people in your city who also enjoy knitting. Search the internet for communities of people.
   • There are also articles on wikiHow on how to make new friends.
4. 4 Make friends. It is important to have reliable friends in the city in which you live. Friendships can lift your spirits, reduce stress levels, and provide the support you need. Connect with people you can trust, who are loyal to you and who inspire you. Remember that you must have the qualities that you want to see in your friends.
   • Be a sincere person. If you find it difficult to be yourself in the company of friends, most likely these people are not your friends. Friends love you for who you are, along with all your quirks and preferences. If you find it difficult to find a common language with a person or it seems to you that you have to make too much effort for this, it is better to look for another company.
   • Be the friend you would like to have. Think about the qualities you want in your friend and do something nice for your friends.
5. 5 Take an animal from the shelter. A dog or cat (or any other animal) from the shelter will keep you company. People who have dogs are less likely to develop depression; they deal better with stress and anxiety.
   • Head to an animal shelter and hang out with a dog or cat that has been left homeless.Take a pet for yourself if you can.
   • Of course, taking on an animal is a big responsibility. In order for your pet to feel good in the new home, you must be able to change your habits and schedule to suit the pet's needs.
6. 6 Attend psychotherapy sessions. Sometimes the pain of loneliness becomes unbearable, and a person is unable to figure out his own problems. A therapist can help you deal with social anxiety, understand how you feel about past betrayal and mistrust, improve your communication skills, and move on with your life. Seeing a therapist can be the first step towards the life you want.
   • Read articles on how to choose a therapist.

Tips

• Find out what events are taking place in your city. Surely you will be able to attend various meetings and other events.
• Express sympathy in the event of the death of your close friends or acquaintances. Write a letter. Invite the person to dinner and ask them to tell you about the person who died. Listen carefullyrather than talking about yourself.
• Greet people who do not expect greetings with a smile and kind words - for example, a ticket seller in the subway, a cashier, a parking attendant. Wish them a good day.

Warnings

• Don't waste too much time on the internet. It may seem to you that you are communicating with real people, but these people are far away, and you cannot replace this live communication, which you lack. Try to make friends on the Internet, but don't let the Internet supplant real life.