Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Getting used to the move
• Method 2 of 3: Dealing with a Major Life Event
• Method 3 of 3: Build relationships
• Tips
• Warnings

Change is a part of life for each of us. This can be anything from moving to a new place to the most difficult event in your life (for example, illness or death of a loved one) or problems in relationships with people. Adapting to change will help you be more responsible and confident in your life.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Getting used to the move

1. 1 Let yourself be sad. You will not do yourself any good if you keep all the senses to yourself. You are most likely worried, anxious, nervous, sad that you need to leave your old life behind. All this is natural and good!
   • Take a break when you feel like a lot has come over you. It could be something as simple as sitting for 15 minutes in a quiet room in a cozy coffee shop or on a park bench.
   • When you think about your old life, don't push those feelings away. Give yourself time to think about them, even if it means crying. Working with your emotions will help you enjoy your new home more.
2. 2 Let go of your hopes and expectations. You have an idea of ​​how you want your life to be. But it is possible that your new life will not fit into this template. This does not mean that your new life will be bad or wrong. You need to let go of expectations and allow things to happen the way they are.
   • Live in the present. Instead of planning how you will improve your future, or remembering how good it was in the past, focus on every moment you experience in a new place. Soon it will become so familiar to you that you will stop noticing them. Enjoy seeing new places and experiencing new events.
   • This new place and life here will be different from what you had before. You will not be able to recreate what you had. When you find yourself comparing the new place to the old one, stop! Remind yourself that they are different things, and different does not mean bad. Give the new place a chance to be good for you.
   • Remember, you probably won't get used to it instantly. It will take time to find friends. It will take time to learn new terrain, new habits. It will take time to find your new favorite bakery, your new bookstore, your gym.
3. 3 Get to know your new place of residence better. One part of the process of getting used to a new place is learning more about it. If you stay in your den in a house or apartment, thinking about the past, you will never make new friends and find the meaning of life. Get out of your shell!
   • Join an organization you like. This can be anything from a library book club to volunteering. Religious communities are a great place to meet new people if you are religious. Alternatively, political organizations or art groups (vocal circles, knitting, quilting, newspaper clipping, etc.) will do just fine.
   • Go for walks with your coworkers. If you have to change your place of residence due to a new job, ask your colleagues where to go and invite them to come with you. Even if you do not form a long-term friendship with them, you may not know who you will meet and who you will be introduced to.
   • Talk to people.Have a little conversation with the clerk at the grocery store, with the person waiting for the bus at the bus stop next to you, with the librarian at the counter, with the clerk in the coffee shop. You will learn a little new about the place where you now live, start meeting people and feel comfortable in a new environment.
4. 4 Get ready for culture shock. Even if you just moved to another city, it may be different. And this especially applies to moving to another country, to another region of your country, from city to village and vice versa. The places are different and you should be prepared for it.
   • Try to adjust your pace of life to your new environment. For example, if you have just moved from a big city to a village, you will notice that the pace of life and the people themselves are very different from the urban ones.
   • Sometimes it may even seem that people in your new place of residence speak a different language altogether (even if it is your first language!). Learning new slang, acronyms and new language features may be required. Be prepared to make mistakes and ask for clarification.
5. 5 Keep in touch with your old life. Just because you have joined a new life, there is no need to burn bridges. In the beginning, your past will generate sadness, nostalgia and regret in you, but connecting with it will also support you in your new life.
   • Use technology to stay connected. You live in an era when it is much easier to keep in touch with people from distant places. Write messages, use social networks, Skype, and more to keep in touch with old friends and family members.
   • A nice text message from a friend can help reduce the feeling of loneliness after moving.
   • Don't let your old life ruin your new one, though. If you spend all of your time looking back, hanging out only with your old friends or family members, you are missing out on opportunities to meet new friends in your new life. This is why it is so important to connect with people in a new place.
6. 6 Go in for sports. Not only is it a good way to maintain your health and a positive outlook, it is also a great way to get to know the city and meet new people.
   • Go for walks. Choose a new location that you want to explore so that you start to feel feelings for your new location.
   • Join a group of people involved in sports. Find someone who also runs in the morning, or join a yoga group. This is how you start meeting new people.
7. 7 Learn to be yourself. One of the keys to being okay when changing your home is learning how to be lonely. No matter how friendly you are, how many clubs and sections you attend, you will still be lonely sometimes. And that's okay! It won't last forever.
   • Be independent of other people's support and praise.
8. 8 Give yourself time. It takes time to get used to anything, this also applies to moving. At different times, you will feel depressed, lonely, and lost in memories. This is completely normal. There is even a kind of schedule for getting used to a new place:
   • The very first phase of the move is usually called the “honeymoon”. At this time, everything seems so new, exciting and different (sometimes scary). Typically, this phase lasts about three months.
   • After the honeymoon, the negotiation phase begins when you really see the difference between your new residence and your old home. This is the stage when you are filled with feelings of insecurity, loneliness and you miss your old home a lot. Although this phase usually follows the honeymoon, sometimes it can start everything with it.
   • The next stage is the habituation phase, which begins after six to twelve months in a new place. During this time, you get used to the new routine and begin to feel at home.
   • Usually for about a year people go to the last phase, when you start to feel comfortable in your new home. Sometimes, however, it can take longer. Remember, all people are different.

Method 2 of 3: Dealing with a Major Life Event

1. 1 This happens in one moment or day of life. No matter what it is (illness, death of a family member, loss of a job, or cancellation of a wedding), you won't be able to handle it if you take on too much. The more you look back instead of focusing on the present, the more this event will hurt you.
   • For example, if you've lost your job, don't try to deal with the problem right away. You end up with confusion and sadness. Instead, do everything in stages. Update your resume first, then look for a job online, on a bulletin board, or talk to someone you know.
   • Do not give in to regrets about the past or anxiety about the future, or you may sink into depression or anxiety. If you cannot live in the present, you need help. People who have undergone global changes in their lives can either become depressed or worsen their condition even more if they have already been depressed.
2. 2 Take care of yourself. Many people forget to take care of themselves and make sure they feel safe. It should be a deep personal concern so that you can relax and wrap yourself in it like a comfy blanket.
   • You will know what is best for you, but here are some suggestions: make yourself a cup of tea and focus on how you drink it (inhale the steam from it, feel the heat slide down your throat and sink into your stomach), wrap yourself in a warm blanket or use a heating pad, do yoga, and focus only on your breathing and body movements.
   • If negative or sad thoughts come to your mind, disrupting the rhythm of movements, recognize them in time and release them. Tell yourself that you will think about it tomorrow, but now you need to focus on creating a comfortable environment for yourself.
3. 3 Allow yourself to give in to your feelings. No matter what change in your life has taken place, it will be accompanied by emotions. If you ignore these feelings and try to avoid them, they will only get stronger and more painful later. This does not mean that you need to sink into sadness and anger, but it does mean that you have to allow yourself to be angry or sad.
   • You have to go through stages of emotion such as renunciation, anger, sadness, and then acceptance. With a successful solution of such states, each subsequent influx of emotions will pass faster.
   • Do not start using "painkillers": it is about drugs or alcohol, but it can also apply to excessive TV viewing, overeating, not because you like the taste of food, but because you want to drown out a part of yourself. These remedies will help you numb the pain, but not cope with your feelings.
4. 4 Give yourself time to reflect on the change. Change means different things for different people, even for the same person at different periods of his life. Reflecting on your feelings, what has changed and why, can help you deal with the emotional imbalances that come with life changes.
   • Journaling is another great way to reflect on change. This will not only allow you to draw out your feelings and describe your path through this change. When the next big change in your life comes, you can look back and see how you dealt with the previous one, how you felt, and how you figured it out.
5. 5 Find someone you can talk to. Talking about problems with someone not only can calm you down well, but it also gives you a different understanding of change and yourself that you may not have had before.
   • Try to find someone who has already gone through what you are going through now.This person will be a kind of mentor for you, someone who will help you see that the ways in which you deal with change are normal, that your feelings are justified. He will also help you get to the bottom of the problem and support you on the path to healing.
   • Support groups and faith-based organizations are good at helping, especially for those who are struggling with illness, trying to cope with the death of loved ones and other such life changes. This is a good place where you can find those who have already gone through this and who can help you.
6. 6 Dream about the future. While you don't want to dwell on the future or spend too much time worrying about it, you still need to keep your life flowing in the right direction. This means that you have to decide how you want to see your future and work on creating it.
   • Dreams are a great tool for scripting what you would do. Let go of your mind to see how you might experience this major change in your life.
   • Collect ideas that are attractive to you from the Internet or magazines. You can look for interesting home improvement solutions, new jobs, and think about how you can incorporate this into your life.
7. 7 Make small improvements. The easiest way is to work on yourself in small steps. Taking on too much can drown you completely. What you need to do while you are trying to adapt to change is to improve your life a little, to make it a little easier.
   • Small adjustments can include: eating better (especially if you are dealing with an illness), exercising to raise your happiness hormones and improving your health, using your time more effectively (planning and following your plan, trying to get the most out of your day).
8. 8 Introduce relaxation techniques into your life. Techniques such as yoga, meditation, even just long walks can help reduce your stress and adjust to life's changes more easily.
   • Meditation is a good choice for relaxation, as it helps you calm your thoughts and can be used almost anywhere. If you're just starting out, find a quiet place, set a timer for 15 minutes (or just count the number of breaths if you don't want to bother with the clock) and sit comfortably. Breathe deeply. Concentrate on breathing, inhaling and exhaling. If any thoughts begin to distract you, become aware of them, put them aside and return to focusing on your breathing.
   • Yoga is another great relaxation technique. It includes not only meditation (focusing on the breath), but also excellent exercise, body movement and work on all joints and muscles.
9. 9 Let us be aware that there will always be changes. All life is one big change. No matter how ready you are for change, there will always be changes that will shock you. If you cling to the routine of your current life, it will be difficult for you to adjust to changing conditions in the long run.
   • Again, this does not mean that you should deny your feelings about change, because change can be frightening and disarming, but it does mean that you should accept these feelings as part of life changes.

Method 3 of 3: Build relationships

1. 1 Get used to new relationships. Starting a new relationship can be filled with reckless excitement. However, it is important to keep yourself together if you want the relationship to continue.
   • Do not hurry. You should not immediately start living together and plan your common future if you recently started dating. If you notice that you are frivolously choosing names for your future children a few months after starting a relationship, take a step back, remind yourself that you need to live in the present, and not get far ahead.
   • Don't be intrusive.It's natural that you want to spend all of your time with this new loved one, but that's not healthy. You do not need to constantly call, write messages and walk with this person. Not only will this overload your relationship, but you will quickly tire of each other.
   • Maintain your privacy as well. Meet your friends, work hard and maintain your habits. Of course, you have a lot to do together, but find time for a separate life. This way you will still have many topics of conversation, and don't overwhelm each other with attention.
2. 2 Cope with changes in your relationship. It is inevitable that the relationship will change. There is nothing you can do about it, but you can adapt to change. It can be anything: your partner suddenly became sloppy when he was always clean, or your spouse decided that he did not want children, although he always did.
   • Raise concerns as soon as possible, especially if they are small and may escalate later. For example, if your partner has become sloppy and doesn't clean up after himself, talk to him using “Self-statements”. Say, "I feel like I wash all the plates, even though I haven't used any of them," or "It really upsets me when I have to fold your clothes."
   • The key to getting used to change is reaching a compromise in accepting differences. This means that you can follow your partner's lead in this matter, but do everything your way in the next question, or always look for a middle ground.
   • Talk about how change affects your relationship and how important the subject of change is to the relationship. If you want children and your partner doesn’t, you must decide if the decision not to have children is right for you, or if you think the relationship needs to end and you split up.
3. 3 Maintain long-distance relationships. It can be extremely difficult, but it is easier now than it used to be. It takes time and effort to get used to long-distance relationships and you should be willing to invest in it.
   • Communicate with each other. This is the biggest problem in long-distance relationships. Talk about what is important to you, discuss the problems that arise in the relationship and in your life, and articulate what is important to you.
   • Deal with doubts. You will be afraid if your partner is right for you, sometimes you will not trust him, sometimes you will doubt him. The best thing you can do when you have doubts that something suspicious is going on is to talk about your despair over distance, or to report your doubts to a friend. This will help open up your feelings before they start poisoning you.
   • Spend time together. Make sure you make time for each other. Send your friend funny cards and letters. talk on the phone and communicate via the Internet. Make special dates for yourself and try to see each other in person on these days.
4. 4 Getting used to the fact that you began to live together. This can be a big change in relationships and needs to be treated with attention. You will feel comfortable very quickly, despite the inevitable difficulties. Also remember that you will change your mind about moving in together, usually a few days after you move in, as the change is frightening.
   • An important part of living a normal life together is that you don't have to hide your non-sexuality and personal items like tampons and pads, or this pair of really terrible underpants that you have. Your significant other will find these things anyway, and the less you bother about it, the more comfortable you both will be.
   • Your routine will change. You just have to be ready for it. You must discuss who will perform what responsibilities around the house, where each of you's things will lie, and so on. It will be a lot of talk and change.
   • Give each other space.This is one of the key points - to give each other a place where you can be alone with your emotions and feelings that rise in you due to this change.
5. 5 Learn to deal with breakups. For starters, you need time to mourn the end of the relationship, even if you were the initiator of the breakup. The breakup is hard for both partners, and it takes time to get over it. Here are a few of the main points to focus on if you are trying to get used to your new bachelor status:
   • Free your life from your ex. This means, remove him from friends on Facebook and other social networks (or at least block messages from them), remove the number from the phone, stay away from his favorite places. The more you hang out with him, the more you regret the breakup.
   • Find yourself. If you've been in a relationship, especially a long one, then you've started to lose your personality and become part of a couple. After the breakup, it's time to figure out who you are without a partner. Do interesting things, go out and try new things. This will keep your thoughts away from the past and help you meet new people.
   • Be careful when starting a new relationship. You really don't need to immediately jump from one relationship to another without taking the time to finally realize and be sad about breaking up an old relationship. Connecting with a new partner is a sure way to hurt yourself and that new person.

Tips

• A key aspect of any type of addiction is that you take time for it to happen. It doesn't happen right away, and you can't speed up the process. Give yourself time to get used to the new state of affairs in your life.

Warnings

• You cannot avoid change, no matter how hard you strive for it. Better to be ready for them and not resist when they come.