Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: How to get over the moment
• Method 2 of 3: How to change your perspective
• Method 3 of 3: Moving on

Frustrations are part and parcel of life. From time to time, each of us faces personal or professional setbacks. The ability to overcome disappointment is essential to success and personal happiness. You should develop strategies for dealing with the direct consequences of frustration, then change your perspective and move on.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: How to get over the moment

1. 1 Feel the emotions. After experiencing disappointment, it is important to feel the emotions triggered. At a difficult moment in life, you just need to be aware of your emotional reaction, even if it is very painful or difficult.
   • You need to feel your emotions, even if they contain all the bitterness of disappointment. Emotional response is an important tool to help you make sense of and overcome frustration. Emotions will allow you to understand what meaning this event carried for you.
   • The first emotions can be negative. You will feel angry, sad, frustrated, and powerless. Feel these emotions fully, but do not forget about their temporary nature. Don't try to analyze your own thoughts. Let them pass freely through you. It is sometimes helpful to give your thoughts a name. For example, think to yourself, "Right now I feel angry. Now I am afraid."
2. 2 Take time to grieve. It is unreasonable enough to expect you to recover quickly from your frustration. You need to feel the grief in order to make sense of what happened.
   • It's natural to feel regret after disappointment. At this moment, there is an uncomfortable gap between the desired and the actual, the presence of which must be realized.
   • Try writing your feelings in a journal. Many people who are going through adversity, such as breaking up with a loved one or losing their job, recover much faster when they express their feelings in writing. Take 5-10 minutes to write down your feelings in free form.
   • In the process of grieving, your feelings and thoughts do not have to be rational. It's okay to see the world in black and white. When experiencing your own emotions, do not forget that they are not an objective analysis of the situation. These feelings are perfectly normal, but your emotional response does not define you as a person.
3. 3 Be kind to yourself. In times of frustration, many people take themselves too hard. Be kind to yourself, try to break out of the circle of self-flagellation and self-loathing.
   • For example, if your relationship has come to an end, then the first impulse will be to blame yourself for everything. If you are denied a job, then you begin to complain about your shortcomings. In fact, sometimes two people just don't fit together. Sometimes you just don't meet the current needs of the company, even though you are a talented and qualified employee.
   • After experiencing disappointment, it is important not to give free rein to self-criticism. Be kind to yourself. You must learn to look at the situation objectively in order to then change yourself and become better. Look at her through the lens of compassion, not harsh judgment. This failure does not define you as a person, because we all make mistakes.
4. 4 Speak out. Keeping emotions after disappointment within yourself is bad for your health. You need to talk to a sympathetic friend or relative and express your feelings. Choose someone who can listen without judgment. Immediately make a reservation that you are not asking for advice, just trying to “digest” your feelings.

Method 2 of 3: How to change your perspective

1. 1 Don't take disappointment personally. Very often people perceive negative events as the consequences of their personal flaws. It seems to you that the employee does not agree to meet with you after work because of your character. You think the magazine has abandoned your story because you are a bad writer. In fact, there are an infinite number of reasons that could affect the situation.
   • Success often depends on luck. We do not have complete control over the situation. Even if you do it right, things can still go wrong. By blaming yourself, you limit your view of the problem. Whenever you take disappointment to heart, remember that you do not know all the aspects and pitfalls. It is sometimes helpful to say to yourself or think, "I don't know. I don't know."
   • For example, you are disappointed because your sister changed her mind at the last moment to visit you. In the first moment, you will try to understand what your words or actions could offend her. That said, you don't take into account that she works two jobs, lives in a different area with her boyfriend, leads a social life, and is actively involved in the life of her area. There can be many reasons for this decision. If she did not say what exactly prevented her, then you will not be able to figure it out on your own. Take note of all possible reasons and agree that you should not take this situation personally.
2. 2 Change your rules. Many people set internal rules for themselves. For example, you might have a mental list of standards that you meet will make you feel happy, successful, and fulfilled. The very idea of ​​a sense of life goals is useful, but sometimes we depend on the circumstances. After experiencing disappointment, you need to rethink your rules and understand how they correspond to reality.
   • What do you need to be happy? Will a job, a perfect social life and a significant other give you a sense of satisfaction right away? In life, you cannot control all of these factors. If you have to live up to a certain standard to be happy, then your reaction to all disappointments will be quite harsh.
   • Very often, people use standards that they cannot control as a yardstick for joy and life satisfaction. For example, you might think of having a romantic partner as a measure of personal success. But the fact is that love relationships are very difficult to control. You can't force yourself to meet the right person.
   • Try to loosen some of your standards. Accept that ideal conditions are almost never found in life. Come up with standards of personal happiness that you can control. For example: "I am happy when I do everything that depends on me."
3. 3 Examine your expectations. Take a look at your expectations in a specific situation. It is possible that you have set yourself unattainable goals or standards, and this is a direct path to disappointment.
   • Your standards may be too high. Perhaps you want to land your dream job at a certain age, or start a healthy and active social life right after you move to a new city. You can also involve others in your unreasonably high expectations. You start to think that friends should never be late for the cinema, even for a couple of minutes. Want your significant other to always spend the entire weekend with you, even if she has an appointment with a friend. Think about how reasonable and justified your expectations from the situation are.
   • Moderate expectations to deal with disappointment.Let's say your friend is 5 minutes late for a meeting due to a traffic jam. Take a more objective look at the situation. We do not control the actions of other people. If you are interested in an active social life, then you should accept the fact that people can be late. Next time, just accept it, because there is always a risk that someone will be late, but this should not stop you from having fun.
4. 4 Strive for optimism. After a lot of disappointment, it is very difficult to remain optimistic. However, you should strive for this. So you can understand that this failure is not the end at all, you may well move on.
   • Try to find new opportunities. See the situation as an opportunity to learn a lesson. What did this incident teach you? What can you do better next time? Life is constant growth, change and adaptation, which are impossible without the past experience. Despite frustration, frustration helps grow.
   • A bad moment is not a bad life. You will increase your chances of success if you start learning from the negative. For example, you were not hired due to a lack of experience in a certain field. This is your opportunity to improve your own resume. Start working on a volunteer basis or remotely and without a contract, create your own project (for example, a blog) in your specialty. It is possible that in a few months you will find a more interesting and highly paid job. The first failure was a disappointment, but it was it that pushed you to become better.
5. 5 Take a look at the big picture. Self-examination is important for mental health. After experiencing disappointment, try to see everything that happens along with this event. How have you changed and grown after the experience? What have you learned about yourself? Don't just focus on disappointment. See it as a link in the chain of events that shape your personality.
   • If you find it difficult to assess the global situation, then contact a psychotherapist. An experienced therapist can help you separate your emotions and assess the situation soundly.

Method 3 of 3: Moving on

1. 1 Try a different approach. Frustrations are useful because they can push us to make beneficial changes. If the situation is not in your favor, then look at frustration as an opportunity to rethink your approach.
   • Your success or failure depends on many factors, so you must learn to understand what factors you can influence. This will reimagine your approach to success. If your sales have dropped, it may be because of your inadequate interpersonal skills. Sign up for online marketing courses. If you find it difficult to find friends in a new city, then try to cross the threshold of your own apartment. Try to become a part of the local community, start helping a charity on a volunteer basis.
   • Learn to see the situation in its true light. Determine how much you are able to influence the state of affairs. Also notice factors beyond your control. You can prepare yourself as best you can for your interview, but that doesn't guarantee you will be successful.
2. 2 Get back to your goals. Disappointment is a failure, but not a disaster. Think about your goals and hobbies. This will help build resolve and deal with frustration.
   • What are your global expectations for life? Write down your goals or say them out loud. Remember why they are important to you. How do your goals reflect your values ​​and passions?
   • Disappointments have their own value. At such times, you will again feel the importance of your own goals. And if the goal is not important, then there will be no frustration.
3. 3 Develop determination. Determination is as important to success as intelligence and ability. Frustration is a reason to triple your efforts. Remember that persistence is the key to success in any area. After disappointment, it is helpful to put in even more effort and perseverance on the path to success. Set aside a few days of sadness, then forget about it and get to work to achieve your goals.