Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Deal With Your Emotions
• Method 2 of 3: Express Your Emotions
• Method 3 of 3: Move on

A dot in a relationship can mean different things to different people. For example, a point might be a desire to move on after a long relationship, the death of a loved one, or a childhood trauma. You may be trying to overcome feelings of guilt for hurting someone in the past. Whatever you want to do away with, there are several tactics you can use to get it done.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Deal With Your Emotions

1. 1 Think about the situation. There can be many reasons why a person wants to put an end to something.For example, it could be due to a breakup, a bad childhood event, or an act you did towards another person. Whatever the situation or cause, you need to identify it in order to move on.
   • Try to focus on the situation you want to leave behind and why. What person or what memories are you holding on to and why?
   • For example, you may have been bullied when you were a child and it still affects your life and self-esteem. Or maybe you suffered from domestic violence when you were growing up.
   • Keep in mind that it can be difficult to end a traumatic event from the past without the help of a mental health professional. Before starting this process, consider making an appointment with a psychologist.
2. 2 Determine what it means to put an end to you. Better yet, make a plan of action for the progress you hope to make. Now that you know how you feel about what happened, think about how you would like to feel. Resolution of the situation will allow you to understand something? What do you want for yourself?
   • For example, putting an end to a relationship means regaining faith in yourself and increasing self-esteem after a breakup. In this case, you should focus on yourself, let go of thoughts of your ex, have fun with your friends, and eventually start dating again. If we are talking about an unpleasant incident from childhood, letting go of the situation, you will stop playing it in your head.
3. 3 Write how you feel. Writing about what happened is a good way to become more aware of the event and start working on letting it go. It also helps you clarify your feelings about what happened. However, keep in mind that it is often more difficult to write about your feelings, so you should do it in the presence of a qualified counselor.
   • Analyze the situation you want to let go and write down as many details as possible. Try to describe in detail what happened, and also include every little thing you remember and how it made you feel.
4. 4 Talk to a specialist. If you do not let go of the situation, the emotions and feelings accompanying this often interfere with work and everyday affairs. This is why some people strive to get rid of what worries them as soon as possible. However, working on it can generate a lot of painful emotions. Don't go through it alone - see a psychologist.
   • A psychologist will help you using cognitive behavioral therapy or gestalt therapy techniques. These methods should not be used without the guidance and supervision of a specialist.
   • If you experience depression or loss of interest in life, see your doctor immediately. If you are thinking about suicide, call the emergency psychological hotline of the Ministry of Emergency Situations at 8 (495) 989-50-50, 8 (499) 216-50-50 or 051 (for residents of Moscow) if you live in Russia. If you live in another country, call your local mental health emergency hotline.

Method 2 of 3: Express Your Emotions

1. 1 Talk to the person openly. If the people you want to end your relationship with are alive, you can also tell them how painful events have affected you. It doesn't always work, but it might help you move on. If you think it would be helpful for you to have your questions answered or to have a face-to-face conversation with someone, then that conversation might be a good option.
   • For example, if you want to express everything to the abuser from childhood in order to forget about the pain that he caused you, it may be worth presenting your claims to him.
   • Bring someone with you. You can talk to the person or people in private, but it is better to invite someone close to you as a support group. Perhaps after the conversation you will be overwhelmed by panic or weakness - in this case, the support of a loved one will come in handy.
   • If you want to speak up, but a face-to-face meeting is impossible or you are not attracted by this idea, write a letter or call.
   • If this person is not alive, write a letter anyway. Talk to his acquaintances if you have questions - this may help to let go of the situation.
   • Don't expect the people you make a complaint to automatically understand what you've experienced. They may refuse to admit guilt or refute your arguments. Go to the conversation only if you are sure that it will be enough for you to simply speak, regardless of the response.
2. 2 Forgive those who hurt you. Forgiveness means that you have decided to let go of your anger and resentment. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you think it’s right. Choose forgiveness to achieve personal peace.
   • You can both forgive others and you can forgive yourself for making small decisions that hurt you. For example, you can forgive the abuser who bullied you, or you can forgive yourself for not standing up for your younger brother when your father hit him.
3. 3 Ask forgiveness from those who have been hurt. If you were wrong, apologize, even if it's not easy. You won't be able to let go of a situation you regret if you feel additional guilt for not asking for forgiveness. Apologize without expecting any forgiveness from the person or people who have been offended (this must be done voluntarily, without pressure from anyone).
   • To ask for forgiveness, express your remorse. Say you're sorry for what happened and explain what you did wrong. Then show that you are sorry for the way your action made the person feel and ask for forgiveness. You can also say that you don't expect to be forgiven.
   • You can write an email or letter, or talk to the person you hurt face to face. If he's not ready for a conversation, respect his boundaries.
   • You might say, “I’m really sorry that I snapped at you last week. I feel terrible about losing control of myself, because you had every right to say what you said, and I had to take it calmly. I'm sorry that I upset you and embarrassed you in public. Will you forgive me? I don’t deserve it, but your friendship means everything to me, and I’m unlikely to survive such a loss. ”
4. 4 Write a letter that you are not going to send. If an open conversation or apology to the person is not possible, then another option is to write a letter, but not send it. You can use it to pour out your soul and say everything you need to, and then destroy it.
   • For example, you might write a letter to your dad to tell him that you are angry about the way he bullied your little brother when you were kids.
   • Remember, you do not need to send this letter. It's just a way to express your feelings. You can burn it or tear it into small pieces after you write.

Method 3 of 3: Move on

1. 1 Take a look at the positives. Concentrate on this - if you leave negative feelings behind, your life will change for the better. For example, you will be braver because you no longer obsess over your abuser. Or you can love yourself more because you won't feel guilty about not protecting your brother. Try to find as many positives as possible in letting go of the situation, and focus on those positives.
   • Alternatively, you can come up with a mantra to help you focus on the positive. For example, you might regularly say to yourself, “I believe this experience has made me a stronger person,” or, “Everything has its own reasons.”
2. 2 Learn to be grateful. Another good way to stay positive and look ahead is to practice gratitude. The practice of gratitude is linked to improved physical and mental health.Plus, this practice will surely help you let go of the past.
   • Try making a list of five things you are grateful for each day. You can write them in a diary or just on a sticky note.
   • You might even try writing down why you are grateful for the experience you had. For example, if you want to get rid of the pain of the abuser, you may feel grateful that the experience has made you a more compassionate and kind person. Or, if you want to let go of the guilt that you didn’t stand up for your little brother, then you may feel grateful that the experience eventually brought you closer to him.
3. 3 Repair the relationship if possible. While forgiveness does not involve reconciliation, you may be able to let go of the past by rebuilding the relationship. Do this with caution, as not every relationship can be recovered in a healthy way. If you decide to make up, do it gradually. You must be honest about your feelings, but the other person must acknowledge your experience and be sincere in return.
   • Instead of diving into the same level of intimacy, try choosing days to hang out with, and keep your distance during breaks. This way, you will have time to reflect on your feelings between meetings.
   • Even if you live with the person with whom you are seeking reconciliation, you can make plans and keep your distance. For example, arrange to have dinner with your partner. Go to a meeting with a friend the next day. Make room for yourself in the relationship until the trust builds.
4. 4 Break off the relationship. When it comes to short, painful or long-term and traumatic relationships, make a firm decision to delete someone from your life. Remember that you have the right to end contact with someone who has mistreated you, even if the abuser is a member of your family. You don't have to take care of those who tried to harm you.
   • It can be especially difficult to break the bond with someone with whom you have family obligations.
   • Explain to other people (loved ones and in your circle of friends) why you made this decision, and ask them to respect it. Also, ask that you do not be given the latest news about the person you have deleted from your life, and that no information about you is passed on to him.
   • You are under no obligation to share information about your life with those who do not comply with these restrictions.
5. 5 Try to be patient. Letting go of a negative experience or traumatic event can take years. Try to be patient throughout this process. Celebrate your successes along the way and keep working towards your goal to put an end to it.
   • Allow yourself to feel the emotions to the fullest and do not drown them out with alcohol and drugs. Drugs and alcohol will only temporarily dull the pain. They will not help you put an end to it.