Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Signs of Pregnancy
• Method 2 of 3: Talking to your daughter
• Method 3 of 3: What to do next

If your teenage daughter is pregnant, it may be scary for her to tell you about her pregnancy. However, there are a number of signs (for example, mood swings and changes in behavior) that can be used to predict pregnancy. If you suspect your daughter is pregnant, talk to her. Remember, the only way to know for sure is to take a pregnancy test, so buy this test at the pharmacy or take your daughter to the doctor if you think she might be pregnant. If the pregnancy is confirmed, support your daughter and help her make the right decisions as the situation develops.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Signs of Pregnancy

1. 1 Analyze the circumstances. If you suspect your daughter may be pregnant, think about the circumstances first. If you have reason to believe that your daughter may have a sexual relationship, she may indeed be pregnant. Consider the following:
   • Has your daughter talked to you about sexual relations? Does she have a regular boyfriend?
   • Is your daughter prone to risky behavior? For example, if she was sneaking out of the house or using drugs, she might decide to have unprotected sex.
   • But remember, this is all just guesswork. Any teenage girl can get pregnant if she has reached puberty and has sex. Pregnancy cannot be ascertained only by behavior in the present and the past. Always consider other signs as well.
   • Also remember - if your daughter is afraid to tell you about pregnancy, she is unlikely to talk about her sex life.
2. 2 Pay attention to the physical signs of pregnancy. There are a number of physical signs of pregnancy. If you think your daughter may be pregnant, pay attention to the following symptoms:
   • Changes in appetite. Pregnancy often triggers a strong craving for something and / or nausea. Nausea is most common in the first trimester and may result in vomiting. Often, nausea occurs as a reaction to any tastes and smells. You may notice that your daughter is eating food she has not eaten before, or she is eating more (because of the increased need for food for the child) or less (morning sickness, if any, can cause loss of appetite). Your daughter may also refuse food she has always enjoyed.
     • However, if she refuses to eat the food she usually enjoys between meals, she's most likely just not hungry. If she is nervous, she may lose weight or even feel nauseous. However, if these symptoms worsen or are combined with other noticeable symptoms, it could indicate pregnancy. But keep in mind that nausea and loss of appetite can also be signs of illness, although other symptoms usually appear in the case of illness.
   • Increased fatigue. Fatigue is a common early pregnancy symptom. Your daughter may start complaining of fatigue and sleep more often. This may mean that she is ill, but other symptoms (such as a high fever) usually occur if she is sick. Fatigue can also be due to lack of sleep.
   • Frequent urination. If you notice that your daughter is using the toilet more often (unless she is taking diuretics), she may be pregnant.
3. 3 Check if your daughter is using feminine hygiene products. If you buy pads or tampons, you may notice that they have stopped running out. This may mean that your daughter is not using them. Lack of menstruation is often the first sign of pregnancy.
   • Remember that many teenage girls do not have a regular menstrual cycle right away - it can take several years. In addition, various factors can affect the menstrual cycle, including stress. While unused hygiene products can be a sign of pregnancy, it is important to consider other factors in order not to jump to conclusions.
4. 4 Pay attention to your daughter's mood. Hormonal changes during pregnancy can affect mood. Many women become significantly more emotional during pregnancy and may experience mood swings. In adolescents, these changes are often more pronounced due to the social pressures associated with teenage pregnancy. If your daughter is pregnant, you may find that she has become unusually irritable and cries more often than before.
   • Teenagers often experience mood swings due to hormonal changes caused by puberty and stress in school and social life. If you notice any mood swings in your baby, look for other signs of pregnancy before drawing a conclusion.
5. 5 Pay attention to minor changes in appearance. As a rule, physical changes appear at a later date, but everyone's body is different. If your daughter has a fragile physique, you may notice a slight increase in weight. Also, your daughter may suddenly start wearing baggy clothes to hide her changes in her figure.
6. 6 Pay attention to changes in behavior. If your daughter is pregnant, her behavior may change. These changes can be caused by emotional stress, mood swings due to hormones, and attempts to hide pregnancy. You may notice that your daughter:
   • dresses differently than before (wears baggy or bulky clothes);
   • stays in his room more often than usual;
   • behaves covertly;
   • communicates with peers differently (for example, spending time with a new boyfriend or other friends).

Method 2 of 3: Talking to your daughter

1. 1 Plan a conversation with your daughter. If you suspect that your daughter may be pregnant, do not provoke a conflict. The only way to know for sure is to take a pregnancy test and see a doctor. Prepare for the conversation. How and when you talk to your child can have a significant impact on whether she is willing to tell you frankly.
   • Choose a time when both you and she will not be too busy and will not worry about other problems and affairs. For example, take your daughter aside on Friday night after dinner, when she is not busy with her homework.
2. 2 Write down everything you feel before speaking. As with any emotional or challenging conversation, you should think about what you want to convey to the other person in advance. You do not need to read from the sheet while talking with your daughter, but you should understand what and how you want to say. Take a few minutes to write down your thoughts and feelings before speaking.
3. 3 Try to be empathetic during the conversation. If you intend to scold or condemn a child, your daughter is unlikely to want to speak frankly with you. Try to put yourself in her shoes. Remember that you were a teenager too. Try to understand how your experience is similar to that of your daughter and how it differs.
   • You probably remember the hardships and joys of growing up. How is your daughter's experience different from yours? Could something have put pressure on her, because of what she got pregnant?
4. 4 Start a conversation without any expectations. Do not ask your daughter questions, expecting that she will tell you everything right away. But don't expect a quarrel either. If you set yourself up for a certain outcome of the conversation, it will be difficult for you to readjust if the conversation goes wrong. You don't know how your daughter will react when you ask her about pregnancy, so don't try to predict anything. Prepare for the conversation, but don't expect anything.
5. 5 Ask questions without judgment. Remember, it's important to treat your child with respect. Even if you are upset, your judgment will only alienate your child from you. If your daughter really does happen to be pregnant, you will need to become her assistant and mentor who will support her throughout the pregnancy.
   • Don't judge your daughter's situation or behavior. Even if you think her act was thoughtless, try not to judge her. It will not help you in any way at the moment.
   • Even if your daughter is showing signs of pregnancy, you won't know if she is pregnant or not until she tells you so. Therefore, do not start a conversation with the phrases "I know that you are pregnant" or "I think you are pregnant." Better ask your daughter a question. For example: “I am worried about your behavior. Don't you think you might be pregnant? "
6. 6 Try to understand your daughter, not give her advice. Teenagers are still children, but they grow up and face adult desires, challenges and responsibilities. They are old enough to want independence. Advice during stressful times, including during pregnancy, can be taken negatively. So try to understand your daughter's feelings, actions, wants, and needs, and don't give her advice right away.
7. 7 Listen to your daughter actively. Try not to judge your daughter's explanation of how she got pregnant. Ask questions if you want to clarify something, without judgment. Ask if your daughter has decided what to do next. Remind her that she is still very young, so it may take a while for her to make a decision.
   • Nod and show your daughter in other ways that you are listening. When your daughter has finished speaking, paraphrase in a few words what she said to let her know that you heard her. If you have questions, wait for her to finish.
   • For example, you might say, “It looks like your boyfriend pressured you into having sex without a condom. I understand correctly?"
   • Let your daughter know that you understand how she is feeling. For example, like this: "I feel that this whole situation is very difficult and scares you."
8. 8 Remind your daughter that you are on her side, even if you are upset about the situation. You may be angry, upset, or frustrated with your daughter's behavior. You can tell her about these feelings, but it's also important to remind her that you love her and will support her no matter what happens. Don't confuse feelings about the situation with the feelings you have for your child as a person.
   • For example, you might say, "I am disappointed with your behavior and consent to unprotected sex, but I want you to remember that I love you and will be there no matter what happens."
9. 9 Help your daughter understand that she has to make her own decisions. Remember, support is better than straightforward advice. Pregnancy is an extremely difficult process for a teenage girl, so it is important to help her daughter make the decision she believes is right. Talk to your daughter frankly about your feelings, but make sure she is able to think for herself. Help her process her feelings and emotions and don't tell her what to do.
   • You can start by asking, "What do you think you should do now?" - or: "Have you already thought about whether you want to leave the child?"
10. 10 Discuss the implications of possible options for the situation with your daughter. Tell her about all the difficulties (financial and otherwise) associated with raising a child during adolescence. Talk about abortion and the possibility of other people adopting a child. If you do not know anything about this, look for information on the Internet with your daughter so that it is easier for her to analyze all the options and make a decision.
    • As you speak, ask your daughter for her opinion. For example, you can say: “I know that when your aunt Galya was in the same situation, she decided to leave the child. She believed that only this was suitable for her. What do you think about it?"
    • Help your daughter consider all the factors. Pregnancy can be intimidating for a teenage girl. Talk carefully with your daughter about some of the decisions she will have to make: choosing a doctor if she decides to keep the child; talking with friends and family about pregnancy and so on.
11. 11 Do not instill your views on your daughter. Even if you are confident that your daughter should choose a certain option, do not pressure her. She should be able to decide for herself. If you force your daughter to do something, tension will arise between you. It is very important that your daughter finds support in you throughout her pregnancy.
    • Letting your daughter make her own decisions doesn't necessarily mean giving up on your beliefs. For example, if you really want her to have a baby, offer her help with the baby or financial support. Even if she doesn’t make the decision you expected, you will know that you did everything you could: told her about your options and offered to help.
12. 12 Don't criticize your daughter. The news that your daughter is pregnant can be very upsetting for you. However, it is important to try not to criticize the child. Even if you think your daughter made a big mistake, criticism will only make the situation worse. It is possible that your daughter decides that she cannot turn to you for help in the decision-making process.
    • Your daughter is probably already feeling bad and very worried about the situation. Criticizing or scolding her will not help you at all. So don't tell her how she should have behaved. Instead, reorient yourself to action and what's important now.
    • Calm down your daughter. Tell her that although the situation is difficult, you can think of something together. It is imperative that your daughter feels comfortable discussing pregnancy with you.
13. 13 Try to keeping calmif the daughter gets angry. During a conversation, your daughter may lose her temper. Even if you try to be patient and understanding, your daughter may get angry with you because she is angry with herself or out of fear. Don't take this as a personal insult. Do not react to the displacement of anger. Just stay calm and say, "I'm sorry you feel this way." Then continue the conversation.
14. 14 Take deep breaths as needed. You yourself may experience all sorts of feelings about news of your daughter's pregnancy. Your hopes and dreams can be shattered. It is normal to feel sad, angry, and hurt over the news of pregnancy. However, when talking, it's important to think about your child's feelings first, not your own. You may need to take a deep breath from time to time and count to 10 to calm down. Do this as many times as necessary during the conversation.

Method 3 of 3: What to do next

1. 1 Let your daughter speak out when needed. Pregnancy can be intimidating to a teenage girl. Let your daughter talk to you as your pregnancy progresses. She should be able to tell you about her fears, worries and problems in the process of deciding about the future pregnancy. Listen to her without judgment and let her feel what she is feeling, both good and bad.
2. 2 Have a plan. After discussing the pregnancy with your daughter, help her come up with a plan. In fact, she will have three options: keep the child, send him to a foster family, or have an abortion. Help your daughter weigh the pros and cons of each option so she can make an informed decision that works for her.
   • If your city has a health center that works with teenagers, make an appointment with your daughter to see a doctor or psychotherapist. You may not have all the information about abortion, adoption, and teenage pregnancy.
   • Remember: your daughter has to decide for herself. Even if you have your own opinion, your daughter should make the decision, because this is her child. This solution should suit her.
3. 3 Find a gynecologist for your daughter. If your daughter decides to give birth, you will need to find a doctor for her. She will need to regularly go to the doctor's appointments so that he monitors the health of the child. You will also need to buy prenatal vitamins, nutrition and exercise regimen. Make an appointment with your daughter as soon as possible after she decides to leave the child. Thanks to this, she, together with the doctor, will be able to think over her actions, taking into account the concern for the child's health.
4. 4 Help your daughter deal with difficult issues. If the daughter decides to leave the child, she will have to resolve a number of issues. There are many problems associated with teenage pregnancy. Help your daughter make decisions about her future. Discuss the following questions with her:
   • What role will the father play in the child's life? Will he be your daughter's partner or will they not keep the relationship?
   • Where will your daughter live after the baby is born?
   • Will your daughter finish school and go to university? If so, will you or any of your relatives be able to stay with your child or pay for nursery and kindergarten while your daughter is at school?
   • Can you help your daughter financially? Are the child's father and his parents ready to do this? Will they be able to help pay for medical services and nursery or kindergarten?
5. 5 Find a therapist. Pregnancy as a teenager can put your entire family under stress, so it's important to start working with a family therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to this specialist or contact your insurance company. An experienced therapist can help you and your family cope with the stress of your daughter's pregnancy.
   • A therapist or psychotherapist may also recommend support groups for parents and relatives of pregnant teens.
   • Note: unfortunately, compulsory medical insurance in Russia (as well as in most CIS countries) does not cover the services of a psychotherapist. However, in some cities there are centers for free psychological assistance to the population, where highly qualified specialists are employed. If your employer or yourself pays for voluntary health insurance (VHI) with the fullest coverage, it probably includes psychotherapy as well. Find out from your insurance company whether your policy covers such services, to what extent and what specialists working on VHI can advise.