Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Observing the Girl's Behavior
• Method 2 of 3: Discussing the situation with the girl
• Method 3 of 3: Deciding What to Do
• Tips
• Warnings

Often, at one time or another, people experience a slight feeling of anxiety about their relationship. Usually, the desire of one of the partners to end the relationship is expressed very clearly, however, sometimes, a person's behavior is not so easy to understand. If you think your girlfriend wants to break up with you, take a few steps to assess her behavior as objectively as possible. But even if after that you do not manage to understand her intentions or it seems to you that your beloved is not going to confess, you should discuss the nature of your relationship with her.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Observing the Girl's Behavior

1. 1 Pay attention to how often she communicates with you. You cannot say with absolute certainty whether a girl wants to break up with you or not if she pays little attention to you. However, if before she called and wrote you every day, and now she rarely gets in touch or does not answer your calls and messages, this may be an alarming signal.
   • Try not to jump to conclusions. First of all, think about what is happening in her life now. Is there an important exam ahead, or is she having disagreements with family members? Did she just start a new job? There may be other reasons why she doesn't contact you as often as she used to.
2. 2 Try to make plans together. If your girlfriend is passionate about you, she will be happy to spend time together. However, if she has lost interest in you, she will most likely be reluctant to plan anything with you. If you have an offer for a Friday night, and she says that she will definitely decide on Friday afternoon, then she probably hopes to receive a more interesting invitation.
   • It is important to consider that one such incident is not yet proof that she wants to break up with you. If this happened once or twice a week, perhaps she was just waiting for a friend to confirm their meeting, and did not want to refuse you until everything was finally clear.
   • If you are studying together, you can invite her to dinner. If she refuses, making the excuse that she has already promised to go with someone else, she is probably no longer interested in your relationship.
3. 3 Notice how often she provokes fights. Constant fights are a common sign that the relationship has cooled, especially if you fight over trifles. Has she become very irritable in your presence? Things that she hadn't paid attention to before? There are many likely reasons for this behavior. For example, she is running out of deadlines for a large amount of work, or she is not feeling well. However, if such incidents happen every day, it is a sure sign that she is not satisfied with your relationship.
   • Discuss this with her. Ask why she is under such stress and if you can help her with it.
4. 4 Think about your physical intimacy. Relationships can grow cold as physical intimacy decreases. It doesn't have to be sex-related. Rather, it is about how affectionate your girlfriend is with you. If, entering into intimate intimacy, you suddenly notice that your beloved has lost interest in this and does not give you affection, perhaps she is worried about something in your relationship.
   • If your girlfriend has always been reserved in her feelings, don't discount it. Some people do not enjoy physical intimacy as much as others. So, if your loved one doesn't like it, then it is impossible to say with certainty that she has lost interest in you.
   • She used to like holding hands, but now she avoids it or pulls her hand away if you reach for her? Perhaps this is a signal that something does not suit her.
5. 5 Pay attention to body language. Body language is a powerful indicator of what is going on in a person's soul. If your girlfriend enjoys being with you, she will meet your gaze, turn her body towards you during a conversation, and generally try to be closer to you.
   • If she crosses her arms and doesn't look you in the eye, there is most likely something wrong here.

Method 2 of 3: Discussing the situation with the girl

1. 1 Tell her that you want to talk. Perhaps you want to avoid unpleasant dialogue, or you are careful to bypass conversations on this topic, but it is best to ask directly. There is no reason why you can't talk to a girl about what's going on in her head. Yes, it is likely that she will say that she wants to break up with you, but at the same time, she can just share her feelings and assure you that she has no intentions to leave. In any case, you will at least know it.
   • Say you would like to take some time to discuss what is happening to her. You can't just walk up and ask harshly if she intends to break up with you. This can embarrass the girl or cause her to react defensively.
   • If she makes the excuse that she cannot speak because she is busy, suggest a time when she will probably be free from school or work. You can also invite her over for coffee or lunch. Thus, for her it will be a planned discussion, and not a spontaneous conversation.
   • If you do not have the opportunity to talk in person, write to her on social networks, send an SMS or email. If you are available through different means of communication, in the end, she will give you a couple of minutes from her busy schedule.
2. 2 Don't blame. It is very important to stop and reflect on the reasons for your suspicions. Don't jump to conclusions. Think about what evidence you have and how plausible it is, whether you can confirm the information in any way and what you will do with it.
   • For example, you suspect a girl of cheating because you saw her smiling and laughing with a colleague. However, this is only a basis, and you might end up with the conclusion that she was simply being courteous and trying to distract herself from boring work. In this case, the best thing you can do with this information is to ask the girl if she likes this colleague.
   • You don't have to say something like, “I know you want to break up with me because of the guy you hang out with. Why can't you get it over with ?! ” Here you draw conclusions, but even if they are true, throwing accusations in the face, you will only cause a defensive reaction in the girl.
   • Instead, try to approach the conversation in the following way: tell her that you have a feeling that she is carrying a burden on your heart, and you would like to understand if she is satisfied with your relationship and if there are things that are worth working on.
   • You might say, “I'm a little worried because I noticed we were spending less time together. Maybe something is bothering you? " This will show her that you are trying to express your feelings without blaming her for anything in particular. This is called nonviolent communication and is a great way to address the hard feelings of the person you care about.
3. 3 Listen to what she has to say. Actively listening means using body language, questions, and other techniques to heighten the perception of what your girlfriend is saying. In doing so, you give clear signals that you pay close attention to her words. For example, you can silently repeat what she said for better understanding. You can also reassure the girl that you are listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and inserting neutral lines (such as “uh huh” and “yes”).
   • Don't jump straight to conclusions and resist the urge to interrupt the person. Give her a chance to explain why she wants or doesn't want to break up. She may have quite reasonable explanations for her strange behavior. And if you don't even let her voice them, you will only demonstrate self-doubt.
   • If a girl wants to break up with you, it's still very important to listen to her. The reasons may be things that you did not think about or did not notice. Perhaps you will understand that breaking up is the right decision. ...
   • There is a chance that she wants to break up with you, but is afraid of hurting you. Therefore, it is very important to listen carefully to her words in order to know their true meaning. If a girl gives a lot of reasons why she is not satisfied with the relationship, but does not openly declare her desire to leave about you, try to apply light pressure.
   • In this case, you can say: “It sounds like you are really unhappy in a relationship, but apparently you are afraid of hurting me. I wish you were honest with me. Do you want to finish it all? " I would like to believe that after that she will confess.
4. 4 Say what you think is necessary. Now is your chance to pour out your soul. If a girl confesses that she wants to break up, you may be tempted to say something rude or offensive, but try to hold back if possible. It still won't change anything, nor will it bring you any relief. If the girl says everything is okay, explain why you thought differently.
   • In a conversation, instead of You-statements, be sure to use I-messages. Self-statements are less likely to cause a girl to be defensive. For example, it may close if you say, “You are acting strange. Tell me what's going on. " Better to say something like this: "It seems to me that we have recently moved away from each other, and I would like to know if you do not feel the same."
   • If the girl leaves you, you don't have to say anything if you don't feel like it. You can just get up and leave, or just say, "Okay, I understand." If you wish, you can share your feelings about the breakup. For example, that you are sad, or that it makes you angry, or that she is right and you think this is a good idea too.
5. 5 Try not to get angry. Anger is a normal emotion, but it can be difficult to control at times. It is very easy to get defensive in a conversation when someone is trying to break up with you. This is because at such a moment the stage of denial sets in. You will most likely want to get angry to protect your feelings, but this is unlikely to help.
   • Try not to raise your voice and speak calmly, and breathe regularly.
   • If you find that you cannot contain your anger, it is better to walk away from the conversation. Even if she says she wants to break up with you and you feel like you hate her at the moment, just walk away so you don't say something you don't mean or regret later.
6. 6 Accept the results of the conversation. It doesn't matter if you were left without a girlfriend as a result of the conversation, or, on the contrary, you are still together, admit everything that was said to you. If you split up, then it's time to deal with the breakup. If the girl says that everything suits her, and she does not want to leave you, believe her. There is no need to constantly return to this topic. This will annoy her and make you look insecure.

Method 3 of 3: Deciding What to Do

1. 1 Give her some privacy. Sometimes in a relationship there comes a point when one or both parties begin to feel doubt. Usually during this period, a person moves away from his partner a little (most often without explanation). And then you start wondering what is wrong and what you have done wrong. The first impulse is to contact your loved one and find out what the problem is. However, this will likely irritate her and make her want to take drastic measures.
   • If this happens to you, try your best to give her some space. Of course, this does not provide any guarantees. However, if you move away from her for a couple of days or weeks, she has a chance to realize how much she loves your relationship and that she is lonely without you.
   • Even if it didn't work out the way you hoped, you will also get the opportunity to see that before you met her, you too had a life that you enjoyed. And this life is still beautiful, even if your girlfriend is not in it.
2. 2 Try to save the relationship. If you are truly convinced that you cannot live without this girl, there are some steps you can take to save the relationship. However, it is very important to understand here that if she is unhappy and does not want to be with you, then in the end you both will suffer.
   • Try to determine what she is not happy with in your relationship. The bitter truth is that perhaps the girl just didn't like you. However, there may be other reasons that make her unhappy. Try to find out and eliminate them.
   • Surprise her. If you've been together for a long time, you may not be using all your charm to make her happy. So surprise her with something special.It could be a romantic dinner or a trip to her favorite disco. You can even just show your attention by presenting her favorite sweets or flowers.
   • Try to remind her of the good times. You both decided to start a relationship for a reason, but in difficult times, this reason can be forgotten. Refresh your memory by remembering the first date or the times when you both laughed heartily at something. The point here is to achieve the same positive emotions that you experienced at the beginning of the relationship.
   • Write her a love letter. Sounds simple, but many people enjoy receiving love letters. It should not be too pretentious, it is enough to remind you how dear it is to you. You can mention fond memories and / or things that you look forward to doing with her in the future.
   • Try to be more open and vulnerable. Of course, it seems more natural to want to close and stop sharing anything with a girl, but this can only aggravate the situation. Better try to open up a little more in front of her. Tell her about a bad day, share your fears, and let her see your weak side.
   • Maintain your partner's independence. Perhaps one of the reasons your girlfriend is unhappy is because she feels depressed and unable to be independent. Let her do what she wants instead of keeping her close to you. For example, if she wants to go to university on a competitive basis, offer to help her fill out the application. If she wants to go somewhere, tell me what she needs to do to get there.
3. 3 Let her go. This may not be what you want, but if for some reason the girl is hesitant to leave you on her own, show courage and show her how much you care about her welfare by ending the relationship on your own.
   • You can do this neatly by simply being honest about everything. Say that you've watched her torment for a while and that you know she doesn't want to hurt you, but it's time to let go of the relationship.
   • It is unlikely that this will relieve even a drop of the pain of parting, but it will give you control over the situation. You may even be relieved after spending some time away from an unhappy relationship.
   • As you break up with your girlfriend, it's important to let go of the anger you feel about your ex or the relationship itself. If you cling to your pain and regret, you will only hurt yourself.
4. 4 Give yourself time. You need time to forget everything. If you are sad about losing your relationship, try to remind yourself that it will go away over time. There are many things you can do to make yourself feel a little better. But, be that as it may, the pain will not go away immediately.
   • There is no specific time frame for recovery. This can take days, weeks or months. Try to see each new day as another step in the right direction.
5. 5 Cut off all contacts. In the early stages of a breakup, most likely, from time to time you will have an irresistible urge to call or write to her. However, this will only prolong the recovery period. If necessary, erase her number and remove her from all social networks.
   • If she tries to reach you, ignore her calls and messages. If she sends emails, delete them without reading them.
   • This does not mean that you will never speak to her again in your life. However, chances are good that you will regret everything after the breakup. And in any case, this will not make you feel better.
   • If you don't want to completely destroy all contact information, write it down on a piece of paper and give it to a trusted friend to keep until you recover from the break.
6. 6 Get rid of any reminders of her. If you don't want to throw these things away or donate them to charity, then at least put them in a box or bag and put them away where they will not be visible.
   • If you think these items will evoke memories in you, throw them away or ask a friend to hold them for a while.
7. 7 Stay active. Of course, after breaking up, you can afford to suffer and feel sad one evening, but after that try to be active. Make plans with your friends to do what you love. Attend social events where you can make new friends. If you are constantly having fun in pleasant company, you will not have time to focus on your loss.
   • Also try to stay physically active. There is ample evidence that physical activity is beneficial not only for our body, but also for our morale. After a breakup, you may be tempted to lie down and whine, so force yourself to go for a walk or run. If you enjoy group sports, join a team.
8. 8 Think constructively. Of course, it's sad when a relationship ends, but you can still learn from this. Take some time to analyze your relationship. Be as honest with yourself as possible. It is likely that she did a lot wrong, as did you. But instead of dwelling on her mistakes, think about what you could improve in yourself.
   • For example, in a future relationship, you might be more outgoing so that she tends to talk to you about the issues that bother her. If in your last relationship you often got angry and closed off when trying to talk to you about problems, now you can practice being open and calm when facing adversity.
   • It's hard to admit your own shortcomings, but try to remind yourself that it doesn't make sense to hide behind pride.

Tips

• She may have had a bad day or week. You can always give her time, but there is nothing good about dragging an unhappy relationship.
• Her negative emotions may indicate a lack of attention on your part. Accidental expressions of feelings or thoughtful surprises can be a way out.
• Write everything in the letter. If you find it difficult to find time to chat with your girlfriend, try talking to her in a different way. You can write her a letter or email expressing your feelings in it. This will not only open up a new way for you to communicate, but it will also allow her to think about what you are saying.
• Listen to your instincts. It is often clear that a relationship is nearing its end. We usually try to ignore this feeling, but, in general, it does not deceive us. So be honest with yourself.
• If your girlfriend wants to break up because she's unhappy in the relationship, it might be worth just letting her go. Getting over a breakup will not be easy, but if your girlfriend is not happy with it, you will only make it worse by forcibly holding her back.
• If you are sure that she wants to leave you, but postpones it for some reason, you can interrupt her torment and part with her on your own initiative. If you don't want to do this, it will be difficult for you, but remember that it is not easy for both sides, but if you can handle it, you can start moving on.
• If she persistently tells her that she's had a bad week, help her deal with it. Ask what you can do to make her feel better.

Warnings

• Don't make scenes. If she leaves you, scandal may seem like the most appropriate action at the moment, but later on you will most likely be ashamed. Do your best to remain calm (at least in front of her) to demonstrate your maturity. After a while, you will be proud of your composure.
• Negative body language and emotions can indicate that the girl is depressed. Be careful not to confuse her dissatisfaction with the relationship with other emotional problems she may be experiencing.