How to end toxic friendships

Content

Steps
Part 1 of 3: Dot the i
Part 2 of 3: Limit Communication
Part 3 of 3: Work on your emotions
Warnings

Unfriendly people always drain everyone around. If you always have to be careful when dealing with someone, the best thing to do is to end that kind of relationship. End the relationship in a clear and clear manner. Be sure to let the person know that you are no longer interested in being in their company. After that, limit any contact with him as much as possible. Ill-wishers will always find a way to get you back into their lives, so stay away from them. Give yourself time to get used to your decision. Breaking a relationship is never easy, so don't be too harsh on yourself after a breakup.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Dot the i

1 Accept the truth about your relationship. To shed toxic friendships, the first step is to acknowledge what your relationship really is. Even if you do decide to leave such a friend, you may be clinging to certain ideas about your friendship. Be honest with yourself about the fact that this relationship only harms and does not benefit you in any way. This will not only help you get rid of your pseudo-friend, but also teach you to set the bar higher in your relationship in the future.
- Think about what you are getting (if you are getting) from this relationship. Most likely, you are no longer interested or having fun with the person. Most likely, he drains you, and after spending time with him you feel completely squeezed out.
- Accept the fact that you cannot change the person. Ill-wishers often feel when someone wants to get rid of them and will do their best to keep you. Remind yourself that such a person will not change, no matter how much he swears otherwise. This will keep you from pursuing unwanted relationships.
- Mixed feelings are normal and expected, but that doesn't mean you should continue such friendship and fellowship. For example, you may genuinely admire and love a friend, they may have wonderful personality traits, but that doesn't mean that friendship can't be toxic. It is quite possible to love a friend, but still want to move forward.
2 Come up with a speech and practice. Breaking up any relationship is difficult, and breaking up toxic friendships can be even more severe. Your friend may begin to deny all the atrocities and try to work things out. Therefore, composing and rehearsing your speech will help you stay calm and prepared for the situation.
- First write down all your thoughts, and then revise everything that you wrote.Try to select the most important thoughts and make some clear sentences explaining the reason for the breakup.
- Practice your speech several times. You can practice in front of the mirror, or simply repeat the words to yourself. In order not to read the recorded speech when confronting a friend, try to memorize the words more or less so that you can explain yourself as well as possible.
3 Be as straightforward as possible. When breaking up an unfriendly relationship, you need to be very clear and articulate. Toxic friends can be very annoying, they often like to control everything and not get rid of them so easily. Be very clear, this will help you end unwanted relationships once and for all.
- You don't have to be rude. Even if the person has seriously offended you, unnecessary aggression can aggravate the situation before a fight. Try to be clear, but not offensive.
- Be as strong as possible about your feelings and therefore your expectations. For example, “I feel like I’m not getting anything from this relationship. I really do care and worry about you, but it is getting harder and harder for me to maintain this relationship. I think it will be better if each of us goes our own way. ”
4 Be clear about your boundaries. Decide which direction you want to go from now on. Make a list of personal boundaries ahead of time and communicate them clearly to your friend. If, for example, you do not want to maintain communication in the future, make it clear. Never apologize for setting such boundaries. They are essential for the healthy development of relationships.
- State your boundaries as precisely as possible. For example: “I want to inform you that for a while I want to take a break in our relationship. I need time and space to think things over. It will be better for me if you refrain from any messages or calls in the future. ”
- If you need to communicate your conditions and boundaries to others, then do so. If you do not want to see a certain person in group meetings, in a large company, then tell others about it. For example: “As you know, I am breaking my friendship with Diana. I can understand if you want to communicate with her, but warn me in advance if she is at a group meeting or event. For a while I do not want to intersect with her, because I need personal space. "

Part 2 of 3: Limit Communication

1 Make it clear to the person that you don't want to see him again. Ill-wishers can try to sort things out and understand your needs in any given situation. Such people can take advantage of your sensitivity and gullibility and try to resume communication again after a breakup. Clearly and clearly explain to the person that you do not want to see each other in the future and, from now on, you are not going to maintain any kind of communication.
- It's okay to be straightforward in this situation. But still, do not be aggressive, be decisive. You might say something like, “I don’t want to see you anymore, so please don’t try to contact me.”
- Pseudo-friends may not want to let you go and try to keep you in their networks in any way. To make it clear that you were not joking about stopping communication with this person, ignore messages, calls, and emails from them. You may even need to blacklist the person's number.
2 Get rid of the ill-wisher even on social media. There is no point in continuing to chat online if you have deleted this person from your life. Remove, unsubscribe or blacklist this person on all possible social networks. This will help you better cope with your emotions, since you will not constantly be faced with the news from this person's life.
- Not everyone has a personal account closed from public viewing.If your friend's Facebook or Twitter profile is viewable for everyone, then it's best to refrain from constantly viewing his page, especially after breaking up. It will only create negative emotions and make you feel bad.
3 Reward yourself if you successfully restrict communication. Sometimes it can be very difficult to end a relationship, even a bad one. A pseudo-friend could have laid delusional ideas in your subconscious that, for example, only he can always understand you. Therefore, it is best to come up with some kind of motivation, like nice little things, as a reward for limiting communication.
- Set goals and reward yourself for achieving them. For example, if you've ignored messages from an unwanted friend for a week, go shopping. And if you haven't checked his Twitter page for a month, dine at an expensive restaurant.
4 Find ways to fill the void. You definitely don't want to bring a toxic relationship back after trying so hard to end it. However, they can take a lot of your time and energy. You will feel the absence of a person in your life, and for a while you will feel lonely or confused. In order to fill this void, try to always be busy.
- Find a new hobby to distract yourself. You can, for example, try knitting, sewing, baking, or any other activity that interests you.
- Try to find new friends. Building new, more positive relationships can help you feel happier and more confident given the pseudo-friendship breakup. Join a club, volunteer, or go to a party and strike up a casual conversation with someone.

Part 3 of 3: Work on your emotions

1 Embrace unpleasant feelings. For a while after the breakup, you will feel differently, as if you are not you. You need to acknowledge and feel your emotions, even if they are negative. Instead of pushing away unpleasant feelings, accept them and accept them.
- Remember that relationships are inherently complex. No one is immune from feeling uncomfortable after breaking an emotional bond. Don't try to fix negative feelings right away, as this will only hinder you from coping with problems.
- Remind yourself that relationships are about your personal growth. Even if you are not feeling well at the moment, you have made an effort to make healthier relationship choices in the future. Even if everything is very difficult at this stage, it will ultimately benefit you.
2 Surround yourself with positive people. Once you get rid of your pseudo-friend, surround yourself with people who will remind you of all the good and positive that a sincere relationship gives. Choose healthy, positive behaviors to help you cope with your feelings and move on.
- Connect with positive friends who are always ready to support you. Get together and spend time together.
- Open up to them about your situation. Talk about how you recently ended a friendship and need additional support.
3 Define your role in toxic friendships. Many people with a history of intoxicating relationships tend to have them again. Review the history of your relationships with friends, loved one, and family. You may be constantly playing a role in the relationship that turns out to be negative for you. Understanding these patterns of behavior will help you get rid of them once and for all.
- While you are not responsible for someone's bad behavior, you can be vulnerable to your ill-wishers for specific reasons. More often than not, you may be passive in a relationship and feel uncomfortable with expressing your needs directly.You may have been emotionally taken advantage of by your parents or loved one at a young age, and by nature you love to please others.
- Understanding the very reason why you have negative relationships at all will be an important factor in the process of getting rid of this pattern of events. If you have had many cases of such a relationship, then it is best to contact a specialist to cope with this problem.
4 Give yourself time. Don't expect to feel better after a day. Healing takes time. Give yourself time to grieve. It's only natural to feel sad for months after breaking up. Remember that this is temporary and that you will feel much better in the long run.