Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Be Cool at Critical Moments
• Part 2 of 4: Control Yourself
• Part 3 of 4: Develop a Habit to Control Emotions
• Part 4 of 4: Train Your Brain
• Tips
• Warnings

Emotions play an important role in our life. They are part of our psyche and are as powerful as our physical senses. Emotions tell us what we like and what we don't; what we want and what we don’t want. Emotions are very important in a person's life, and you need to learn to control them. When emotions rule you, it can seriously affect your ability to act and think clearly in important situations. Here are some ways to help you keep your emotions in check when you need to be your best.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Be Cool at Critical Moments

1. 1 Drive away self-destructive thoughts. Don't drive yourself into insane self-pity or inner disgust. When we show a perfect body, a perfect lifestyle, a perfect job, etc. on TV, we start to feel worse than someone else. It's up to you whether to let these thoughts in or not.
   • Stop comparing yourself to others. The moment you compare yourself to others, you lower your own self-esteem. You have unique talents, opportunities, and weaknesses. Recognize them and exercise them as needed. You need to compare prices in stores, not people.
   • Stop thinking that you are unable to handle the situation, or that things always go wrong. This kind of thinking actively undermines your effectiveness. Instead, replace such thoughts with logic and try to find a solution that applies to your specific situation.
2. 2 Don't try to anticipate the future. You will probably be wrong! As soon as you think, "Oh, God, this will happen if I do this," and you immediately start to worry. Do not think about what will happen, then the fear will disappear. You cannot predict the future, so why try?
   • If you really ‘’ need to imagine the future, then think of yourself exactly five minutes from now - you will see a person completely out of control. Do you want to be like this? Probably no! Use negative imagination only to define who you are. you do not want to be.
3. 3 Step away from the situation. Imagine that your life and everything that happens around you is a movie. While doing this, imagine that you are watching someone else, not yourself. This way you can look at the situation objectively, without involving emotions.
   • Imagine that you are looking at the situation from the outside, without prior knowledge of the subject and without emotional involvement. By separating, you do not allow yourself to be subjective, you remain objective, like a doctor who treats a patient. In neurolinguistic programming, this technique is called "rethinking."
   • Be careful with dissociation (detachment) as there are certain risks. Dissociation too often can lead to unhealthy results in your psyche and your personality if you are not careful. Move away only in certain situations, do not resort to dissociation at any insignificant moment. Sometimes you need to come face to face with certain things, not distance yourself from them.
4. 4 Think logically. Instead of perceiving situations based on fear, anger, or similar emotional reactions, work with facts only. Logic often overcomes uncontrollable emotions and allows you to see the situation as it really is. After all, reality is what it is. You don't need to think about anything.
   • If you’re afraid you’ll fail your job interview, remind yourself of the facts.First, you would not be invited for an interview if you were not qualified enough. Second, if you don't get the job, then you may not be a good fit for this company, but that doesn't mean you are not a good candidate.
   • When we are in an emotional crisis, we behave the way we used to, instead of thinking things over. If you are used to reacting emotionally in difficult situations, it is worth learning to think logically.
5. 5 Know, emotions also need to be shown in due time. They are needed from time to time. They appear for a reason - if we did not need them, then we would not have emotions. In fact, research has shown that when we lose our temper, we make the best decisions. If you're feeling emotional, try to determine if it's worth it. If so, don't hold back.
   • If emotions are not worth showing, give them up. Whether it's paranoia, neurasthenia, anxiety, or fear, let them go. This is a little demon that is in each of us and that drives us crazy.
   • If it's a meaningful emotion (grief, for example, is a negative feeling, but meaningful), acknowledge it. As long as you restrain yourself, the grief will not go away on its own. Cry if necessary; if necessary, express how you feel. Soon, the feeling of sorrow will pass.

Part 2 of 4: Control Yourself

1. 1 Take a deep breath. Deep breathing will calm you down in difficult situations and can lead to significant improvements in overall health. Try some of the following breathing techniques to stabilize your emotions:
   • Inhale through your nose for two seconds. Hold your breath for 4 seconds. Exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds. Repeat until you feel the emotions recede.
   • Sit in a comfortable chair and focus on your breathing. Pay attention to how deep it is or not. Don't try to change your breathing. Instead, clench both hands into fists and close your thumb and forefinger. Press them together, then release, and press again. You will notice that your breathing becomes deeper and slower with each contraction; you will relax and release your emotions.
2. 2 Distract yourself. Instead of getting stuck in anxious thoughts, get up and do something else. Thoughts come and go. You can let go of bad thoughts by distracting yourself with good ones. Soon, you’ll start thinking, ‘’ Am I upset about this? ’’
   • Choose an active activity that will make you feel better. If you're feeling sad or anxious and can't stop thinking about something, take your pet for a walk, go to the gym for a workout, or grab your camera and take pictures of nature. Do anything that actively engages your mind and distracts it from emotional thoughts.
   • Choose an activity that requires intense concentration. Try knitting, sewing, or another repetitive activity that requires concentration.
3. 3 Don't use alcohol or drugs as a way to drown out your emotions.
   • Also, avoid overeating or undernourishing in response to overwhelming emotions. You will stress your body if you don't eat well.
4. 4 Keep a diary. Dedicate it to your emotions. This will help you become more self-aware and find a way out. So the next time you experience emotions (preferably strong emotions), write them down in your journal right away.
   • What triggered the emotion? Did you anticipate her appearance? What does this emotion look like and how does it manifest itself? How did you manage to calm down?
5. 5 Stop making friends with bad people. If you are constantly feeling empty or demoralized, then it is not necessarily because of you. Perhaps you just fell under the influence of a bad environment.We all face the problem that sometimes we are lazy or too kind to break up with someone. We need to stop this! These people can be the cause of unwanted emotions for you. Start today and break up with the people who are bad for you. You don't need this kind of friendship.
   • Unfortunately, humans usually play a huge role in generating emotions. Sometimes we ourselves give them such power over us. Life is so short to surround ourselves with people that make us feel bad. Let them go. They will find other people to whom they can suck like leeches!

Part 3 of 4: Develop a Habit to Control Emotions

1. 1 Meditate. Meditation is one of the best ways to master your emotions. Through meditation and concentration practice, you will learn to be aware of your emotions, accept them and let them go. Despite the fact that some manage to let go of emotions on command, this, as a rule, is achieved only after prolonged meditation practices. Moreover, when such results are achieved, a person does not stop meditating daily.
   • Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed, and get into a comfortable position that allows you to breathe deeply. You can practice simple meditation by focusing on your breathing. Inhale through your nose and breathe through your belly, exhale from your belly through your nose. Concentrate on your breath as it moves through your body.
   • Scan the body, being aware of it from the top of the head to the feet. Just be aware of your feelings. Are you hot or cold? Do you feel the seat / floor beneath you? Just pay attention.
2. 2 Use visualization while meditating. Imagine what you associate with a peaceful feeling and focus on that image. Every time your mind starts to wander, be aware, accept the thoughts and let them go. Focus on your visualization again.
   • If any thoughts or emotions come up, just be aware of them. Don't try to change or fix them, just accept. Then let go of the thoughts / emotions and continue breathing deeply.
   • A good meditation can take 5 to 30 minutes, or longer if desired. Once you reach your “place”, you will notice a change in mood, thoughts and behavior. Once you master this practice, you can use it on the fly in situations that challenge your emotional stability, and you can immediately regain your composure.
3. 3 Learn to admit mistakes. There is simply no direct, unambiguous answer to many questions in life. When you're wrong, make amends or ask for forgiveness to avoid sinking into an overwhelming sense of guilt or regret. Such thoughts do not bode well!
   • As with meditation, admit your mistake. She's already in the past. This is a mistake you will never make again, so don't bother yourself about it. You need to be a strong person to be able to admit your mistakes. This behavior is more admirable than if you constantly insist that you are right.
4. 4 Avoid self-destructive behavior. No matter how angry, frustrated, or worried you are, don't act on those emotions until you study the situation carefully. Try to think clearly and see the consequences of your actions.
   • Think before you speak. Emotions often force us to blurt out a response that doesn't reflect well on us. Take your time and be wise. If you really want to say something without thinking, then remember the English proverb - it is better to remain silent and seem not very smart than to open your mouth and confirm it.
     • If a coworker criticizes your work, refrain from angry messages or harsh remarks about him / her while you feel angry.Instead, try to understand if this criticism is fair, if you can improve your work thanks to his comments, or perhaps you should ask him to change the tone in which he criticizes you to a more professional one.
5. 5 Know yourself. If you determine that this particular situation may be annoying, take it under control as soon as possible. Adapt to the situation or steer it. Only you know what to do. However, first you need to know yourself. Explore what's at your disposal 24 hours a day. Myself.
   • It will be easy for you if you are determined to help yourself. When faced with a difficult situation, resolve it instead of reflecting on how difficult it will be! Breathe. Get distracted. Reread this article. Practice emotionless problem solving and sooner or later you will become impartial. You may not even notice the changes happening to you until someone points out to you that you are emotionless!

Part 4 of 4: Train Your Brain

1. 1 Accept life as it is. This does not mean that life is not fair, horrible, gorgeous, or rosy, it is just the way it is. There is no need to try to change it. Life will be as long as you are. There is nothing scary or romantic about it. This needs to be learned. When there is nothing terrible, and nothing makes sense, then emotions gradually recede.
   • Indeed, what good is showing emotion? Love? It's just a feeling. It is ubiquitous and not at all unique. And often there is selfishness or a sexual motive behind love. Children? They can do it without us. Convince yourself that there is no point in all this, that life is simple, and then it will become much easier for you.
2. 2 Think about society, not yourself. Focusing on others will make it much more difficult to think about your emotions. In a society where everyone is overly individual, the persona can easily become paramount due to the lack of a sense of connection with others. In turn, this can make us too focused on our own emotions, since we have nothing else to focus on.
   • Chat with other people. Communicating with others will cheer you up! Help others, do community service, take time to mentor, and share knowledge and joys with others in your community. Gradually, you will find that your emotions have faded into the background.
   • By focusing on others, you leave less space and time for any inner emotions to turn into overwhelming inaction or suffering. When others rely on you, you find the courage to move on and stop getting bogged down in your emotions.
3. 3 Create new "mind maps". According to neuropathologist David Rock, it is very difficult to change neural pathways. It's much easier to create new ones. The good news is that creating new mind maps, or new ways of thinking, will have a powerful effect, as a new way of thinking will allow you to focus on something in particular.
   • Instead of spending too much time trying to overcome the ingrained perception of yourself as morose, hopeless, and unlucky, create a new mind map of yourself as being inspired, focused, and interesting.
   • Direct all your energy to create this card through actions that objectively confirm that such a person is yourself. With practice, you will form a new nervous system, and you can simply ignore the old circuits that have so overwhelmed you emotionally.
4. 4 Also, control your positive emotions. We are talking about the absence of emotions, which, unfortunately, encompass the positive moments in life. So, if your mom bought the concert ticket you were waiting for, or your friend dropped by, express your gratitude, but nothing more. Smile and say thank you. This is where your emotions should end.
   • If you really want to look emotionless, then you shouldn't be admired or enthusiastic about anything. Nothing will make you happy, but on the other hand, nothing will make you unhappy. You just remain indifferent in any situation.
5. 5 Let go of what you cannot change. You may be angry when you find yourself unable to change the situation, but you must acknowledge your anger and let it go. Instead, focus on what you can change so that your thoughts are directed in a positive direction, instead of getting bogged down in misery.
   • Positive thinking does provide an opportunity to express emotions. Our goal is to achieve a lack of emotion. The best option is not to think at all. The human brain is able to disconnect from reality. If you really want to be indifferent, then refrain from both positive and negative thoughts. Try to disconnect completely.

Tips

• Do not amuse those who criticize you. Just give them a deadpan look so they know you're not interested.
• Many people feel a lot better about crying because this is the physical mechanism responsible for sorting out emotions. However, when you are dealing with an emotional situation at work, you cannot afford to start crying in front of everyone. Try to pinch the point between your index finger and thumb very hard. You will be surprised at how effective this is in preventing tears from forming.
• For more information on how to use logic to reshape thinking, how to respond to emotions, take a look at Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Physicians, scientists and therapists use CBT as an effective tool for changing the way we think.

Warnings

• Doing physical harm to yourself (such as cutting the veins in your wrists or piercing them) is not an option for relieving internal pain. This will not only hurt you and possibly leave scars, but it will also make you sink into misery, which will only make you feel worse.
• If you find yourself at the mercy of emotions and cannot stop them, you may be suffering from anxiety, depression, or another condition. Feel free to seek the help of a professional psychotherapist. The sooner you get help, the sooner you will learn about ways to manage emotions that will help you throughout your life.