Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Take Care
• Method 2 of 3: Find Ways to Be Helpful
• Method 3 of 3: Understand the Situation
• Tips

After a person is diagnosed with cancer, it may seem to him that life has lost all meaning. A disappointing diagnosis can be a real shock, both for a sick person and for his loved ones. In such a situation, it is quite natural to experience deep emotional emotions, irritation and anger. Over time, as your emotions subside, chances are you will start doing whatever you can to help your friend. Believe me, a lot depends on you. You can show concern for your friend with your words and actions. This is a difficult situation in life, but there are many things you can do to support your friend.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Take Care

1. 1 Be a good listener. One of the best ways to support a friend is to reassure him that you are ready to listen to him. Tell your friend that you understand that he doesn't want to talk about his illness. However, if he wants to speak out, you will always be there. Don't think that your friend already knows about it. It's always nice to hear that there are people who are ready to support you when you need it.
   • Be an active listener. Don't just listen, but take an active part in the conversation. Show with gestures and facial expressions that you are interested in what your loved one is saying. Maintain eye contact, nod your head, and use your facial expression to show that you care what happens to your loved one.
   • Ask questions. Don't interrupt your friend. When he pauses, you can ask questions, showing that you are interested in what he is saying. You can ask: "Will you go to the hospital three times a week? Will the procedures take place at the same time each time, or will the doctor change the time of the procedures?"
2. 2 Try to understand how your loved one is feeling. Agreeing that you have cancer is very difficult. Tell your friend that you understand that he is experiencing a storm of emotions and feelings. Don't neglect your loved one’s emotions.
   • Your friend may tell you that he is afraid. Often, many people say in response to these words: "Don't worry, everything will be fine." Don't underestimate your friend's feelings, even if you do so with the best of intentions.
   • Acknowledge his feelings by paraphrasing his words. For example, you might say: “I heard you say that you are afraid that you will not be able to see how your children will grow up, and you will not know how their life will turn out. I think this is very scary. I can help you?"
3. 3 Set aside enough time for your friend. Be flexible when planning joint activities. Chances are, your friend will need some extra support. Your loved one should definitely know that you are always ready to help when he needs it. However, do not overdo it, remember that everything is good in moderation. As a rule, sick people get tired quickly. Therefore, your visits should be short but frequent.
   • Behave the way you have done before. Make sure your relationship remains the same. The friend's health has changed, but he is still a person with the same character traits. For example, if you've been joking and fooling around a lot before, you shouldn't stop doing it.
   • Do what you both enjoyed doing before. You may have enjoyed going to the movies together on weekends before. And while you can't do it again now, grab some popcorn and visit a friend to watch your favorite movie together.
4. 4 Provide moral support. It is only natural that you will be very upset about your friend's illness. Cry together. Let your friend know that you, too, are very upset about what happened. However, you shouldn't be limited to just tears. Remember that your goal is to support your friend.
   • Discuss positive topics. Of course, you shouldn't play the part trying to cheer up a friend. However, you can tell him about how things are going at your work or how your first date went.

Method 2 of 3: Find Ways to Be Helpful

1. 1 Ask what you can do for a friend. Ask your friend what help they need. You can also ask him specifically: "Do you need to be taken to the chemotherapy procedure?" This will help your friend know that you are willing to help him, and not just offer help out of courtesy.
   • If your friend has children, invite them to pick them up a couple of times a week. Thanks to this, your friend can relax and you can have fun with his children.
2. 2 Help with everyday tasks. It is not difficult for a healthy person to cope with daily duties.However, if your friend has been diagnosed with cancer, it may not be easy for them to do their daily activities. Offer to help, such as going to the post office or taking things to the dry cleaner.
   • As a rule, when a person gets sick, we have a desire to feed him as much as possible. Unfortunately, cancer patients have no appetite. Instead of bringing in a wide variety of foods, invite a friend to go shopping. Ask him to write a list of foods based on his taste preferences.
3. 3 Chat with your friend's family. Remember that it is not only difficult for him now. Grief came to his family too. If appropriate, talk to your spouse, parents, or children. Offer them your help and tell them that you are always there.
   • If your friend is married, you can tell him: "I know that it is not easy for you now. If you want to relax with friends, I am ready to be with your wife."
4. 4 Show concern with deeds. For example, you can take care of raising the necessary funds for treatment. There are many organizations that raise funds for cancer patients. Find such an organization in your area and register with it.
   • An easy way to support friends or family is to take a hairless photo. You can either actually shave your head or remove your hair using a computer program, take a picture and post your picture on social networks. Thanks to this, money can be raised to research this formidable ailment. It will be a great support for your friend, and will also unite you with his family and friends in the search for the right treatment.
   • Different events are held every year, the purpose of which is to raise funds for cancer research. As part of one such event, a hiking trip is organized. Participants in the hike must walk 100 km in three days. The purpose of the event: fundraising for cancer research. The event is funded by the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Organization. If you choose to participate in an event like this, wear a shirt with your friend's name to show your support.
   • Whatever activity you decide to pursue, invite others to join you. This will help your friend know that you will do whatever you can to help him cope with the illness.

Method 3 of 3: Understand the Situation

1. 1 Learn about the diagnosis. It should be noted that cancer is a complex disease, also because it can manifest itself in the form of many different symptoms. To be able to help a friend you need to know as much as possible about their illness. If a friend doesn't want to talk to you about it, do your own research. For example, you can consult a doctor.
   • Speak correctly about the disease. For example, cancer has several stages. Find out if your friend's cancer stage is first (non-invasive) or fourth (invasive and most dangerous).
   • If, in your opinion, it is advisable, inquire about the forecast. Be very careful with your words, but if your friend is willing to talk to you about this, you can ask him about the prognosis of the disease. By doing this, you show your interest in him and in his well-being.
2. 2 Ask about treatments. After you have gathered the information you need about your friend's illness, you can learn about the appropriate treatments. Cancer is often treated with surgery. In some cases, chemotherapy is given initially. If you don't fully understand what your friend is talking about, ask him questions. He will be pleased that you are interested in him.
   • If a friend needs surgery, take care of the postoperative care. Also, promise him to walk and feed his dog. Also bring him fresh magazines and visit him at the hospital.
   • If your friend is scheduled for chemotherapy, you may be there for the treatment.Take a deck of cards with you or download interesting programs to your tablet. This will help distract your friend from unpleasant procedures.
3. 3 Know what to expect. Cancer has a negative impact on the patient's physical and emotional well-being. Find out what your friend might be facing. Knowing this will make it easier for you to support him.
   • Please note that your friend's appearance may change. For example, he may lose weight or his hair may fall out.
   • In addition, he may experience severe weakness. Be patient if your friend wants to take a nap while you are spending time together. Also, his memory may deteriorate. So don't be offended if he forgets some of the details you mentioned earlier.
4. 4 Seek advice. This disappointing diagnosis can be a shock not only for your friend, but for you as well. Enlist the support of your friends to deal with the negative emotions you are experiencing. If you know someone who has been in a similar situation, seek advice. This will make it easier for you to deal with your feelings.
   • Talk to a psychologist if you find it difficult to deal with your feelings.
   • Feel sorry for yourself. It takes a lot of energy to support someone with cancer. Therefore, set aside enough time for yourself and your needs.

Tips

• Take breaks. Even during periods of intensive grooming, take breaks to rest. During this time, someone else may be with the patient so that you can be distracted and do something other than watching by the bed, under the chemotherapy room, or listening to worries around the clock. These breaks will help you better manage your responsibilities and provide the help you need.
• Don't just talk about illness. Chat about something interesting for both of you. Try to distract the sick friend from the disturbing thoughts.
• There will be times when you are likely to feel resentful, angry, and tired. This is normal feelings in such a situation and they won't last long.