Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: When they are not in an argument
• Method 2 of 3: During an argument
• Method 3 of 3: After an argument
• Tips
• Warnings

It doesn't matter if you accidentally run into a rare parental disagreement or they fight in front of you all the time, witnessing such an event can be scary. Protect yourself from serious harm to your self-esteem and relationships with people by following these steps.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: When they are not in an argument

1. 1 Talk to one or both parents about how their fights are affecting you. It will be better if you can talk in the presence of both - so they both know how you feel!

Method 2 of 3: During an argument

1. 1 Leave the premises if possible. Head to your room, put on your headphones and turn up the music volume if necessary. The further you are from the "line of fire" (relatively speaking), the less likely you are to be emotionally exhausted from this experience. In other words, when they quarrel, leave the room. You do NOT need to hear this.
2. 2 Realize that they are not fighting because of you. This is true even if your name pops up in conversation. In this case, it has more to do with differences in parenting styles than with misconduct on your part. Remember, this was not and is not your fault.
3. 3 Stay confident. Don't let this issue affect how you feel about yourself. Try saying a few good things about yourself before you go to school or somewhere else.
4. 4 Contact the authorities if you feel an imminent threat to anyone in the home. It is difficult for a child to call the police, but if there is an outbreak of violence, then this is the best way out. The authorities can move you and your siblings out of the house until everyone is calm.
5. 5 Remind yourself that this problem will be resolved. Slowly but surely it will be resolved.

Method 3 of 3: After an argument

1. 1 Conduct an emotion survey. After a stressful situation, it is quite normal to experience all the gamut of feelings from anger to sadness and vice versa. Allow yourself to express those emotions appropriately - crying, screaming into your pillow, or even something creative - writing a poem or painting can help.
2. 2 Get close to your parents when you and they are ready. If any of you need more time to calm down, endure that period before trying to speak to them.
3. 3 Remind them how much their fights bother you. This is not the time for protracted negotiations, the simple phrase "Please do not quarrel with me" will be enough.
4. 4 Sorry and move on.

Tips

• Stay confident. Remember, there is a way out of every quarrel and none of them is your fault.
• Understand that it is not in your hands to regulate your parents' marriage. However, some problems arise when parents are divorced. If so, then the question may be with whom and when you stay. Do not try to take responsibility for it, even if the situation is really terrible, this burden is too heavy on your shoulders - the more you try without seeing the result, the more you destroy your self-esteem. They are the only ones who can solve their problems.
• Immerse yourself completely in your studies - if it gets hurt, don't worry: it's never too late to fix it. Talk to your school counselor, tell him that you have been distracted by the situation at home. Most likely, he sincerely wants to help you - if only because you voluntarily told him what happened. Raise your marks! Don't let home drama distract you. Study and do your homework somewhere quiet, such as a library or with a friend in a good and positive home environment. If this is not possible, leave your parents in the yard or go for a walk in the park.
• If you need help dealing with the emotions caused by parental fights, talk to a school counselor or other trusted adult. Make sure that the adult you choose to talk to can be objective about the matter. For example, if a grandmother often shows dislike to dad (or mom), she may not be the best choice for talking about it.
• The best thing you can do is work on yourself, find out who you are, be a person, and dive into your own interests. The best gift you can give your parents is to do your best to be happy and make the right decisions for yourself.
• If you don’t have friends to help you get on your feet, then you’d better do without them. They may not understand the depth of what you are going through and what it will take to overcome it, or they may not know how they would go through it themselves. You will find that good friends will come to you if you keep the great things you do.
• If you know that your parents might split up, then remember how this will affect you. Maybe you want them to leave, but always stand up for yourself. If one of the parents is always a victim, then try to protect him and offer ideas. They may need to be apart from each other.
• Remember, this is not your fault.
• If you are worried that one parent may be harmed by the other, call 911. If you are generally worried about this, even before the conversation escalates, know that you are not their nanny. Talk to your parents about resolving this situation and finding a compromise. Tell them that you cannot handle the anxiety and that you cannot bear the burden of observing their disputes for their own safety. In this sense, everything depends on your parents. Don't feel guilty because domestic violence was never your fault. You cannot change the actions of your parents, so don't neglect your own life for something that you cannot influence - not in specific cases, as it is dangerous, and most definitely not in the long run. Don't let your parent get you into conflict to maintain an abusive relationship.
• If you have brothers or sisters, you should take care to get them out of the conflict zone of their parents outside the home, alternatively, take them with you to where you decide to do your homework or hobby.
• Keep yourself busy. Respect yourself at home and outside. Take advantage of your youth, enjoy the fact that you look like a child (or teenager) and are them. While you may not feel that way about the situation at home, it will give you a dose of maturity.

Warnings

• Don't be afraid to seek help by calling emergency services if needed. Some parents may drive themselves into uncontrollable rage, requiring police intervention. Yes, it's scary when it comes this far, but reminding yourself that you are doing the right thing by dialing 911 can help build your confidence during this turbulent time.
• Avoid taking sides with one of the parents, even if they ask. Ideally, free yourself from the argument.
• Refrain from talking to your parents when they are in conflict. Horny people rarely listen to the voice of reason and can take off on anyone who gets in their way.