Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 3: Assess Your Relationship
• Part 2 of 3: Consider Your Feelings
• Part 3 of 3: Distance yourself from the narcissist
• Tips

"Narcissistic expansion" refers to people who provide narcissists with the endless admiration and support they need. Narcissists perceive these people as an extension of their personality and try to control them in everything. Assess your relationship with someone who is narcissistic. If he seeks to control your time, violates your personal space, and makes you feel uncomfortable with other activities, you may be a narcissistic extension of him. You should also pay attention to your feelings. If you constantly feel empty and do not have enough time for yourself, it also serves as a sign that you are being used as a narcissistic extension.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Assess Your Relationship

1. 1 Think about whether the person is claiming rights over you. The narcissist does not perceive his narcissistic expansion as a separate person. He thinks he can have your time and attention. The narcissist doesn't even think about whether you have time to communicate with him. He just thinks he has the right to use you and your energy.
   • The narcissist thinks you have the same feelings and desires as he does. He believes that you need what he needs, and therefore counts on your constant attention.
   • For example, the narcissist may think that you go out or stay at home in the evenings just to satisfy his needs. He is able to get angry and even become hostile to you due to the fact that you show a desire to retire or meet someone without his knowledge. He is unable to understand that you cannot devote all your time and attention to him.
2. 2 Pay attention to the violation of personal space. The narcissist perceives narcissistic expansion as an extension of himself. In such a relationship, there are no personal boundaries for him. The narcissist does not notice that you are nervous or uncomfortable, he constantly violates your personal boundaries to meet his needs.
   • For example, your girlfriend may demand time and again that you accompany her on a hike in the mountains, even though you have repeatedly stated that you are afraid of heights. She will not leave you alone until you agree to go with her.
   • During the hike, as you move up the mountains, you will experience all theOmore panic. The girl pays no attention to your requests to stop. Instead, she is angry that you don't want to move on. She is not interested in your fears, she just does not understand that you can feel something different from her.
3. 3 Analyze your conversations. Conversations with a narcissist can be very frustrating. The feeling of shame is almost unknown to the narcissist. He expects you, as his narcissistic extension, to carry on even an unpleasant conversation. In addition, he expects you to tell him everything about yourself without hiding, regardless of your desire.
   • A narcissist may share too personal information with you without feeling guilty about it. For example, a narcissist might tell a story about how he scolded someone and brag about his aggressive and rude behavior. At the same time, he expects you to admire his courage, and not be shocked by his rudeness.
   • The narcissist expects the same level of frankness from you, he is not able to understand that you are embarrassed in a given situation. For example, a narcissist might ask you candid questions and get angry if you shy away from answering them. He just doesn't see that you're embarrassed.
4. 4 See if the person sees in your achievements and his own merit. If you are a narcissistic extension, the narcissist sees you as an extension of himself. In view of this, he sees in your successes and his own merit. For example, a narcissist might say, "You got a good mark on an exam because I studied with you," or "Your article was published because I pointed out your mistakes."
   • This is especially common when the narcissistic parent's child plays the role of narcissistic expansion.
5. 5 Pay attention to expressions of discontent and neglect. Narcissists don't like to be criticized for their behavior. If they encounter any resistance, narcissists immediately become angry and hostile.
   • Think back to the times when you objected to the narcissist. How did the person react when you said that he was hurting you? Instead of admitting that he is wrong and changing his behavior, the narcissist becomes angry. He will take any objections you make as personal attacks on him, and may even demand that you apologize.
   • If the narcissist perceives you as a narcissistic extension, he believes that your feelings and emotions are designed to satisfy his needs. The narcissist is unable to understand that he is hurting you and does not want to change his behavior for you.
   • Try writing down times when the narcissist doesn't listen to your words.

Part 2 of 3: Consider Your Feelings

1. 1 Think about whether the person in question understands your needs and feelings. In a relationship with any person, it is important that he, to one degree or another, takes into account your desires and needs. However, they are constantly ignored if you are a narcissistic extension.
   • Think about whether your needs and wants are being ignored. Do you feel that the other person is constantly pursuing only his own goals, or does he still take into account your interests?
   • The narcissist is able to see only his needs and desires, and often he expects them to be fulfilled even if they are contrary to your interests. Narcissists are good at manipulating other people, and if you try to object, they will get angry instead of apologizing and changing their behavior.
   • Let's say you are an extrovert by nature and like to get out of the house on weekends. At the same time, your boyfriend feels uncomfortable in large companies and believes that you should constantly be with him, even if he is constantly at home. In response to your words that you would like to communicate more with other people, he requires your attention and support. Instead of meeting halfway and reaching a compromise, the narcissistic person puts his demands first, even if they are not justified.
2. 2 Estimate how much time you have left for yourself. The role of narcissistic expansion is devastating. A relationship with a narcissist takes a lot of time and energy. Consider if you have any free time to devote to yourself. Can you do your favorite hobby and other activities that are interesting to you? Are you communicating separately from the narcissistic person with your relatives and friends? If not, then you may have become a narcissistic extension.
3. 3 Think about whether this person is absorbing almost all of your energy. The narcissist does not perceive you as a separate person who may have his own views and opinions. He sees in you just a reflection of himself and his values. In view of this, the narcissist absorbs almost all of your energy, and often it is not enough for something else.
   • The narcissist constantly requires you to do what he wants. See if you are busy gratifying the whims of the narcissistic person every day for the sole purpose of pleasing her.
   • Thinking about your own feelings can make you feel ashamed and guilty. Narcissists are great at making others feel guilty, and you may feel bad about yourself just because you sometimes think of yourself.
4. 4 Pay attention to whether you are allowed to feel and express your feelings freely. For the narcissist, this is an area of ​​competition. If you experience any emotions, they must be controlled by the narcissist. Eventually you will find that you are not allowed to experience certain feelings and emotions.
   • Narcissists strive to control everything, including your feelings. They enjoy making other people feel guilty. Eventually, you can get used to suppressing your feelings, and perfectly legitimate thoughts about your wants and needs will start to make you feel guilty.
   • You may not be allowed to make complaints or grievances. For example, in response to your words that his behavior upset you last night, the narcissist will not apologize, but criticize your feelings and insist that your claims are unfounded.

Part 3 of 3: Distance yourself from the narcissist

1. 1 Avoid renewing close relationships. Narcissists have a hard time letting go of their extensions. In response to your attempts to distance himself from the narcissist, he will resort to manipulation to interfere with you. Don't let yourself fall into this trap again. Be adamant about ending your relationship with the narcissist.
   • If the narcissist feels that the person is moving away from him, he may pretend that he is ready to improve.The narcissist will speak to you differently and solemnly promise that he is ready to radically change his behavior.
   • Remember that the narcissist only takes into account his own interests. He makes promises in the hope of getting some benefit for himself. In this case, he needs your attention. Don't believe his words - they are designed to make you stay.
2. 2 Give vent to your anger. If you feel angry after breaking up with a narcissist, that's okay. You were expecting sympathy and love, but instead faced complete neglect of your desires and needs. To find peace of mind, you need to get rid of feelings of anger and resentment.
   • Understand that you are angry. Think about the behavior and behavior that caused your anger.
   • After that, look for suitable ways to get rid of the feeling of resentment. You can cry, call a friend, entrust your feelings to a diary, or exercise hard.
3. 3 See a psychologist. It is very helpful to discuss your problems with a psychologist, because you do not want this to happen again in the future. In addition, a counselor can help you cope with feelings that are overwhelming you.
   • You must be mindful of your personal needs. After being in the role of narcissistic expansion, especially if it has been going on for a long time, you may forget about your desires and needs. The neutral side in the form of a psychologist will help you remember them.
   • Contact a psychological clinic or search for a suitable psychologist online. If you are studying, you can contact a school psychologist or a student counseling center.
4. 4 Break the relationship completely if necessary. The narcissist can make every effort to keep from letting go of his narcissistic expansion. It may be necessary to break all contact with the narcissist to avoid falling under his influence again.
   • Block the narcissist on social media. You should also delete his phone number and email address.
   • If you are abused, call the police. You can also contact your local domestic violence rehabilitation center.

Tips

• Be very wary of over-verbal assurances of love. Believe not words, but actions.
• Trust your feelings and intuition.
• Be sad about your broken relationship if necessary. Sometimes it's worth being a little sad even about breaking up a bad relationship.
• Take a short break to become aware of your desires and needs before entering a new relationship, even if you think things will be different this time.