Content

• Steps
• Tips
• Warnings

Do you have a friend who constantly tells you how to live, and at the same time makes you feel guilty if you didn’t listen to him? Well, you have the right to decide for yourself what to do and where to go. This article will teach you how to get back on track and live your life.

Steps

1. 1 Determine if your friend is a manipulator. The signs are very easy to spot, but most victims refuse to believe them and believe they are all to blame. The goal of manipulators is quite simple: they love power, control, attention, and empathy. They often went through difficult times in their lives (and often not), but in general they are all people with an unstable psyche and not self-confident. Try to remember how you met. Most often, manipulators capture their victims when they are alone or in an uncomfortable environment. This is how they gain sympathy, and the victim begins to feel dependent.
2. 2 Take a closer look at the warning signals. There can be a great variety of them, but the following signs are usually good indicators:
   • Manipulators completely control your life, especially your social circle. They find reasons why they don't like your friends. "He / she is strange", "You behave differently with him / her", "He / she is rude". If you do not give in, they will find other reasons. But it is not enough for them to simply lure you away from your friends, it will get worse further. They may even start lying, coming up with reasons why you shouldn't love this or that person. "I heard that he (a) said bad things about you", "He (a) does not love me and makes fun of me." If vague signs of this behavior begin to emerge, you better look for ways to escape. The reason for everything is jealousy, they do not want to share you with anyone. And even when you spend time with friends, you will be exposed as guilty (oops).
   • The manipulator can advise you something or give you money, once or periodically, but he will always reproach you with this. "You borrowed so much money from me that the less you can do is buy me this thing!"
   • The manipulator constantly arranges petty quarrels and accuses you of a bad attitude towards him. As soon as you decide to do something for yourself, it is immediately accompanied by resentment and tears.
   • The manipulator will constantly subtly humiliate you, or insult you, and then say that you are exaggerating everything and too sensitive.
   • The bangs are constantly lying on little things, but they never admit it.
   • Sometimes manipulators can be overly clingy, expecting you to give up everything for them. If you don't, the person will do their best to make you feel guilty. But does he do the same for you?
   • In life, manipulators can be quite tolerant, but they will accuse you of everything in a cruel way with the help of messages.
   • The person accuses you of insulting and offending him, claiming that you are acting a little 'moody' or 'bitchy'.
   • You are often told that you have problems, that you are a bad person who plays on human nerves.
   • You may be subtly threatened: “You should treat me better, otherwise I won’t put up with it,” or “I’m constantly trying to convince others that you are a good person, so put in a little effort to make it true.”
   • They are trying to convince you that everyone around you hates, except for the manipulator friend himself.
3. 3 Consider if you really like this person or if you just feel guilty about not spending time with them. If you are constantly being told how much they hate you, but at the same time maintain a friendship, it is worth considering this person's motives.
4. 4 Trust another friend. A person with whom the manipulator is not very familiar, so that your conversation does not float out. Show your correspondence, describe the situation and ask for advice.
5. 5 You must resist the manipulator. Sometimes this is the hardest part, as the person will fight for life and not death, trying to make you feel sad, lonely and guilty. You will be convinced that these are your problems, and not someone else's. The key to winning is remembering that you are the victim. This is not friendship, it is a kind of abuse of you.
6. 6 If you are insulted or refuse to admit your guilt, break up the relationship. Manipulators are often childish and use offensive tactics, such as turning your friends against you or spreading rumors. Ignore this person, refuse to talk about him and do not go without contact, make new friends. This will ruin his cunning plans.
7. 7 Look for past victims. Most often, in the life of this person there have already been other victims, and the circle is constantly repeating itself. If you find these people and talk to them, you will feel better.
8. 8 Forget it. The final step is necessary to regain self-confidence and move on. Most likely, this person will be looking for ways to get yours back. Keep your distance and think how good you are without him.

Tips

• One of the most common traits of manipulators is frequent mood swings and lack of conscience. Today everything is fine, but tomorrow it is already terrible for no apparent reason.
• It is very important to be able to handle relationships in which you do not feel safe or happy. The problems will only grow.
• Remember that the person may just be having a bad day, so don't suspect him of being manipulated too quickly.

Warnings

• Always keep correspondence with this person, so that later in front of others you will have evidence of his behavior and attitude towards you.
• If you think your friend may hurt you, commit sabotage or other criminal activity, contact the police and other anti-bullying authorities. NEVER put yourself or anyone else in danger.
• If possible, see a psychologist or an adult who can get you out of this situation.