Content

• Steps
• Tips
• Warnings

It is good to be competitive in our university, work and personal life to achieve success and advancement into the ranks of fame and glamor. A competitive relationship helps you feel energized, capable of tackling challenges, and ready to accomplish a lot in life. However, competitive behavior that is not attentive to your welfare or is balanced in its application can have a negative impact, leading to self-destruction and possible exclusion from society of those people who are most dear to you. Striving to be competitive in a dignified manner, respecting the needs of others, being considerate of your own well-being, and showing controlled ambition will help ensure more fulfilling and healthy success.

Steps

1. 1 Discover the true motivation behind your competitive behavior. Most of the time, we compete with other people for the wrong reasons. From the day we start attending social events as children, we are exposed to competitive behavior and many of us are encouraged to emulate that behavior in order to keep up - or stand out. Simply by adopting a generally accepted competitive approach to life leaves no room for speculation about the boundaries of competitive behavior, so many people simply assume it's okay to be overly competitive, sometimes to the point of hurting themselves or harming others. Some other reasons for competitive behavior:
   • The desire to have what the other has and to act out of envy.
   • The habit of competing with siblings without ever learning to draw the line in childhood.This may be a case of violent sibling rivalry (for all sorts of reasons) that has spread further to all relationships in life.
   • An urgent need to conform to the norms and lives of others - it is often less difficult to follow socially justified norms and, by doing it many times, you can quickly overtake the competitor.
   • The excuse "being a competitor is my nature." No one entirely possesses one particular trait or the other, and competitiveness is just one trait, too exaggerated. Don't belittle yourself in this way!
2. 2 Take a look at yourself to contemplate what it is that really turns you on and gives you a sense of meaning in life. Are you doing these things because you want to do them, or because you want to please others, or to meet the expectations that you feel are on you? An irresistible desire to achieve regardless of the means we must use to achieve success, vaguely based on the desire to “match” and surpass others, will easily lead to devastation.
   • In modern society, workaholics are one very obvious example of people not worrying about means. Many workaholics justify their competitive behavior on the basis that they are very talented at what they do, that they are irreplaceable and, to some extent, guarantee an overall improvement in the state of things in the world, thanks to their solitary efforts. At the same time, such people do not devote enough time, love and attention to their loved ones and loved ones, and they lose sight of how they set a bad example for others in the workplace - delays until late in the evening, being noticed doing work beyond their due, resorting to easy ways instead of in order to bring significant results and so on. This type of competitiveness disconnects and fuels the unrealistic expectations that everyone has to be “superhuman” to survive in the workplace. This is why overly competitive people despise those who don't buy into this manic approach to work.
3. 3 Be considerate of the feelings and rights of others. As you climb the career ladder, take it as a principle never to trample on the rights, dignity and virtue of others. Play fair, based on ethics of conduct and personal responsibility. Let your success be based on your own potential and true self, as a worker, manager, spouse, parent, brother, friend, and so on. The higher you go, the more personal responsibility you must take upon yourself, and the more your desire to remain open to the advice of people, the desire to listen and take into account the ideas of others, to be ready to take the blame for what does not work out, instead of to pass it on to others. When people who work and live with you know that you always take into account their opinions and wishes, they will understand when you make mistakes. In the process, your good reputation and dignity will remain unaffected.
   • Be more compliant than competitive. Suggest ways to collaborate on projects, tasks, activities, tough assignments, events, and so on that you share with friends, loved ones, or colleagues. A collaborative approach allows disagreements to take place, deliberation, compromise, and showcase each person's best talents without harming either of you.
4. 4 Avoid slandering and discrediting the other person to help achieve your goals and benefits. The easy solution can often be to make others look inept or incapable, and in the process, pave your own way to defeat them, whatever the reward, on the other hand. Yes, this kind of action causes contempt and contributes to the emergence of a bad attitude towards you; in the end, it will backfire because people will not be able to trust you.In the short term, lewd behavior will lead you to something - but in the long term, it will leave you open to attack, fragile and vulnerable at the moment when you most need their support. And always remember that when you fall off the top of any hierarchy, you will always return to the mercy of people you either supported or thoughtlessly slandered - obviously, what kind of attitude will ensure that the person will lend you a helping hand in return.
   • Are you tempted to gossip to “get ahead”? Every person who hears gossip is tempted to do the opposite, and when they come back to you, trust is broken forever. It may seem that you have a competitive advantage in spreading rumors, but it often becomes obvious who started these rumors about something dubious, especially gossip is reflected in its own reputation.
   • Do you think that the use of indecent words and attitudes towards colleagues, subordinates and friends and family will give you a competitive advantage? Dirty words and deeds can make people jump and follow your orders, but this is the fear of being forced and not respected. They will all be waiting for that wonderful moment when you really make a mistake, and they will be able to freely express their thoughts in order to survive you. This approach to managing relationships with people is like a ticking time bomb.
   • Like competing because it makes you feel better? If so, do you apply this standard to your friends and family? By doing this, you create a situation in which you are the winner and they are the losers - and this is really tough on the people you care about. There are kinder ways to make them feel better instead of making the people around them feel worse because they are unable to match you.
5. 5 Take pride in other people's accomplishments without being threatened by it. We all have different abilities, talents and skill levels for a good reason - because we are members of society, we have to "get along" with each other to truly achieve greatness. No one is alone on the island; assuming otherwise - leads to self-destruction. Instead of taking over from others, change tactics and praise them for a change. Let everyone hear what you attribute to your coworkers, brothers, loved one, boss, neighbor, or anyone else in your life, the achievements that you see that they have achieved. It may surprise you that this gives you all sorts of "power" - by giving others the opportunity to shine, you yourself will shine for them, and they will be too ready to support you.
   • Think about how wisely Oprah has always acted as she surrounded herself with people, using their best talents - supporting them as the best, instead of trying to compete with them, she shone in her own right.
6. 6 Use your confidence and work hard to achieve your goals. It means trusting yourself, believing in who you really are and believing in your abilities. If you choose the wrong path in life, competitiveness can arise from the fear of failure. Do not be afraid of failure - it can direct you towards what you really do well and take away the need to feel like you always need to “keep up” with others.
   • If money is what you desire, then strive to obtain it through your own will and hard work. Avoid using easy goals and fostering insincere relationships to persuade others to support you financially.
   • If you don't feel like you've really found your true niche in life, read How to Identify Your Strengths and Weaknesses - often, overly competitive behavior arises from constantly covering up weaknesses, out of fear of what they think.that you are incompetent or cheating. This does not mean that you cannot improve and make your life easier, but it does mean that you need to face the reality where you are the best, and what holds you back and is the reason that you are always out of competition with others.
   • Realize that the need to win is really talking about you. What do the "winners" get? Honors, applause and groveling. Is this what you are striving to get? If so, then you are on a treadmill needing external self-affirmation. Get away from that and seek your true self instead.
7. 7 Understand that lying, intrigue, or deliberately planned activities that work in your favor are not healthy competitive practices, but simply forms of sabotaging work and life. This disruptive behavior often occurs when we lack certain required abilities and opportunities to achieve and become successful in work and life situations. However, lying and discrediting other people actually puts your own judgment and responsibility at stake, especially if the other person proves that you are wrong. And the likelihood that this will happen is very high, given that where there is smoke, someone will always strive to find fire. Final result? Your reputation and integrity will most likely suffer.
   • Be always responsible and ethical in your approach to life and those around you, you can be sure that people can successfully study your principles, and they will simply find that you are not ashamed of your mistakes, but are always ready to accept shortcomings and correct them.
8. 8 Give yourself enough time and space to achieve your goals. Immediate success and wealth overnight are fantasies far removed from the realities of our day. Unfortunately, there is the misconception that when a person is successful it “happened overnight,” which is completely untrue, that it took years of hard work, planning, taking risks and failing to achieve that level of success! By wanting quick success and fame, you set yourself up for disappointment, and there is a risk that you will allow yourself to take easy ways and act dishonestly in order to achieve the goal. Some people even have to commit criminal acts in order to succeed, as “losing face” or not achieving a lifestyle that they think they deserve makes them lose all sense of perspective. Don't fall for this trap - competitive behavior should propel you forward in a sensible and consistent way, not in a random or dangerous way.
   • Getting rich / famous / popular and so on quickly is an unrealistic worldview. All good things take time, including healthy competition. Stick to your values ​​and principles and you will prosper in the long run.
9. 9 Be realistic. Learn to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy competition. Many reputable self-help guides and predictors will tell you that the best competition in life is with yourself, not with others. By setting achievable goals throughout your life, regardless of your age and position, you set yourself goals to measure your strength. It doesn't matter what other people think, except those who are around you and know that you love and care for them. It doesn't matter that you feel respect for yourself, that you achieve things in life that are important to you, and that you are not engaged in comparing yourself to other people. If creating a beautiful garden does it for you through the ultimate achievement, then at any cost go ahead and build your beautiful garden. If becoming the CEO of a socially responsible company is yours, then you have a fantastic goal that includes all the people you would like to take with you on the road.Regardless of your goals, stay true to them and don't back down or undermine their progress by falling prey to the fear that you're not good enough, lagging behind, or not owning what the girl or guy next door owns. You already have everything you need inside yourself ..
   • Inspire people to follow your direction by demonstrating healthy and productive competitive skills. In full readiness for healthy competitive behavior, you teach others how to behave in this intelligent way, thereby multiplying the impact of attentive competition on those who want to follow in your footsteps.

Tips

• Others are watching. Your children, nephews and nieces, your neighbors, your co-workers and many others who are able to learn from you observe and learn your behavior. Make sure it is the example you really want to set.
• Competition is healthy when it pushes you to do better. You will learn this when your relationships with others become friendly and relaxed, you enjoy the balance of activity in your life and strive towards your goals at a measured pace, without worrying about what others are thinking or doing.

Warnings

• The two competitive types do not justify competition. If you are constantly arguing, swearing, out of competition, and posing in front of your partner, boss, coworker, friend, or other person in your life, start wondering why. You both run the risk of experiencing stress, a lack of fulfillment in your relationship, and the potential for really bad things to come up one day is not that far. Be stronger and give up on competitiveness. Start praising this person's real accomplishments as you see them, ignoring their rest of their efforts - it may take time, but it will stop both of you from competing with each other.
• Avoid mixing healthy competitive behaviors with unhealthy ones. Not all competitive behavior is bad — sometimes it gets you out of bed and ready to go all day. It is bad when it completely absorbs the sense of self, well-being and makes you belittle others or use them to your advantage. It is not healthy when it destroys the relationships you hold dear and ruins your chances of living a fulfilling life. You will feel the difference, you cannot learn from what is written.