Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

If you have been in love with an unkind person in the past, finding someone who is nice to you will be your top priority. You can find and love nice people if you really want to. Just remember that you cannot force someone to love you. Some things you can do to find a good partner include: assessing what you want from the person, choosing the right timing, moving slowly, and asking questions to better understand your interests. surname.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Self-assessment

1. 

   Know yourself. Before you can find the right person for your needs, you need to get to know yourself. Take a few minutes to examine your core values ​​and assess your emotional needs. Write them down on paper so you can review the list as you look for a future mate.
   • Which factor is most important to you? Family? Career? Friend? Honesty? Faithfulness? Or is it something else? You should make a list of your values ​​and then arrange them in order of importance.
   • What do you want to look for from the person you love? Sympathy? Sense of humor? The kindness? Strong? Courage? Make a list of all the things you hope your future partner will possess, in order of their importance.

2. 

   
   
   Think about what you want. Before you start looking for a kind person to love, think about what you really want from the person you love. Make a list of everything you want from your partner before starting the quest for love.
   • What characteristics do you want your future lover to possess? Do you want to get acquainted with people who love to read? Love cooking? Close to family? Sense of humor? Treat you like a king / queen?

3. 

   
   
   Take care of yourself. Physical attraction isn't everything, but it's important to look and feel the most confident in order to attract others. Taking care of yourself makes you feel more confident, and overall confidence is very appealing. Be sure to take care of your basic needs, like diet, exercise, rest, and grooming, before you go into finding a partner.
   • If you haven't done this in a while, go to a hair salon for a haircut.
   • Buy yourself some new clothes if your clothes are worn or out of date.
   • Try to stay healthy by eating a healthy diet and doing at least 150 hours of moderate aerobic exercise a week.
   • Make sure you give yourself enough time to rest and relax each day.

4. 

   
   
   Commitment to fulfill your own needs. Sometimes, you will want to be loved so desperately that you are willing to accept anything from the other side. Truly kind people will respect the needs and boundaries of others. Before looking for love, make a commitment to yourself that you will respect your own needs and desires.

5. 

   Stay away from aggressive or mean people. If you've dated someone who didn't treat you well in the past, stay away from someone who might do the same thing to you. When you are getting to know a potential partner, take note of how he or she treats you and others. Is the person aggressive? Coarse? Brag? Like to criticize? Like control? Or is it just plain mean? If that's the case, think twice before going out with them.
   • Identify positive qualities in the person you choose to date. Try to find someone who is kind, polite, bold, sympathetic, and most of all, kind to you!
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Part 2 of 4: Attract kind people

1. 

   Find the right people in the right places. To find nice people, start somewhere other than the pubs in your area. This doesn't mean that nice people won't go to the pub, it's just that it's easier to find someone who matches your interests and values ​​if you look elsewhere. Consider finding a nice person where people like the person you are looking for are often gathered.
   • For example, you will increase your chances of meeting nice people at a charity event, volunteering at the hospital, or at the library. You should also consider asking your friends to "match up" with a nice person or introduce you to someone you often see them reading at a cafe in your neighborhood.

2. 

   Flirting a little. To let others know that you care about them, you need to show concern by flirting a little. You need to use facial expressions, body language, and flirting. Using factors like body language, eye contact, and making flirty comments will help you show your partner that you care. In fact, research has shown that the way you show you care is more effective at attracting a partner than you do in physical appearance.

3. 

   Look for signs of a response. When you show interest in others, look for signs that they are interested in you as well. Watch to see if the person smiles, makes eye contact, and is standing with your body facing you. Some other positive signs include touching your hair, adjusting your clothes, raising or lowering your eyebrows, or occasionally touching your arms.
   • Some other signs include biological reactions that people cannot control. For example, many people may blush when they are excited. Their lips will become fuller and redder.
   • If someone is not interested in you, don't waste your time. Just keep on looking for a kind person to love.

4. 

   Start story. There are many ways to chat with someone you just met and to fall in love with. These are called "first steps". In addition, they are also known as "acquaintance flirting", or "gossip". However, you don't have to be scary to talk about. Research has suggested a few ways to help you open the story:
   • Direct. This kind of story will often tell your intentions honestly and clearly. For example, "I / I think you are so cute. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?". In general, men tend to like to receive chat in this way.
   • Innocent innocence. This type of statement will be quite roundabout, but friendly and polite. For example, "I / you are new here. Can you suggest to me if cappuccino or latte is better?". Usually, women will love this type of story.
   • Cute / casual. These are "flirting to get acquainted".They can be funny, cheesy, or even vulgar. For example: "Are you okay this morning? Last night wandering in my dream, you must be very tired, right?". Usually, both sexes dislike this kind of opening sentence.
   • Since you're looking for the kind person to love, research suggests that you should use sincere, friendly, and encouraging speech. They will help build a longer lasting relationship.
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Part 3 of 4: Love

1. 

   Progress slowly. When you first get to know each other, it's important to avoid sharing too much information about yourself too soon. Sharing too much of yourself early in a relationship is common because you will want to look straightforward and straightforward. But this action will make the other person feel overwhelmed. It also minimizes your mystery, and this is part of the joy of being in love.
   • For example, avoid discussing topics like your ex-boyfriend, your bad boss, or your personal finances.

2. 

   Find out the interests of the person you love. You need to find out if you are a match for this nice person (and see if they are really kind). Ask open-ended questions to learn more about them and get a feel for their personality. The questions you ask the other person in the first place shouldn't be too intrusive or too personal. They should be friendly and fun questions to discuss. For example, some questions you might ask on your first date include:
   • Do you have a roommate? If so, what are they like?
   • What kind of books do you like?
   • Do you prefer dogs or cats, or do you not like both? Why?
   • What do you like to do in your spare time?

3. 

   Become confident. Self-confidence and self-esteem are important elements of love. People with low self-esteem will have emotional difficulties because they feel they are not worthy. If you lack confidence, take time to improve yourself before attempting to enter a relationship. Or, you can try to fake your confidence until you really feel it.
   • For example, stand up straight, smile, and make eye contact with others. This will give the other person the impression that you are confident and that you will then feel more confident just by behaving like that. Kind people will want to date someone with confidence, while bad people won't like it because you look like someone they can't control.

4. 

   Continue to make time for yourself. Immersed in a new relationship to the point of stopping doing activities that are important to yourself is commonplace. But not spending enough time for yourself and for your hobbies is neither good for you nor for your newly created relationship. Make sure to set aside enough time for yourself and hobbies no matter how you want to pass them off to spend more time with your new partner.
   • Maintaining time for yourself won't be a problem for nice people. Just remember to be alert when the person becomes upset with you because they want to be alone with you. This could be a sign that the person is not as nice as you might think.

5. 

   Let the person know that you still want to keep meeting them. Be clear about your intentions to this person if you want to keep meeting them. If you enjoy spending time with the person, let them know. You don't have to declare your intention to have a long term relationship early in the relationship, but you need to let them know that you enjoy spending time with them and that you want the two of you to continue meeting. .
   • Try to say something like, "I / I had a great time on your dates and I / I want us to keep seeing each other if this is what you want too".
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Part 4 of 4: Building a deeper relationship

1. 

   Ask your question more deeply, in more privacy. Once you've been dating for a while, it's time to really get to know the person. This means understanding a topic of interest to them, their hopes and dreams, something they believe in and value. This kind of question, especially if it's related to the future, will also help the other person think about your future life with you.
   • Social psychologist Arthur Aron has developed a list of 36 open-ended questions that can help you initiate an interesting, meaningful conversation with the person you love. For example, "What makes a perfect day for you?", And "What do you feel most grateful for in your life?". Kind people need to be open to engaging in this kind of conversation.

2. 

   Listen actively. Active listening is the process of building mutual understanding and trust - a key element of love. By developing your listening skills, you will let the other person know that you are genuinely interested in what they say. This is very important if you want to keep the excitement of someone nice to you.
   • Try to identify your feelings. For example, if the person you love says they had a bad day and wants to be vented, reflect on the feelings you believe they have, like, "I / I feel like you / I am very sad ".
   • Ask questions. Try to formulate questions like "What do you think will happen if you ...?", Or "If you try… ..what?"
   • Confirm the person's feelings. Even if you disagree with their feelings, acknowledge it. Emotions won't be right or wrong - they simply come out. For example, "You may find that what you say hurts your feelings. You greatly appreciate your willingness to talk to you. about it".
   • Don't be underestimated. Although you will want to jump right in to reassure the person with the saying "You don't have to worry about it", this kind of quick reassurance will often indicate that you are not listening. You should slowly make a more meaningful comment.

3. 

   Communicate effectively. Communicating clearly and effectively builds trust and interaction between you two, and in turn helps strengthen your emotional bond and help you fall in love better. You should try the following techniques:
   • Ask questions. Don't assume you know what's going on. Ask questions to clarify the other person's needs, especially if you are unsure. For example, if the person you love seems upset, ask: "You look upset about this issue. Do you want to vent, or do you want me to / you help me to find a solution? No matter what, I / you will always be by your side ".
   • Use statements that begin with the subject "I" (yourself). This will help you not look like you are blaming or judging the other person, as this can cause the person to fall defensive. There will be times when the two of you have to discuss issues that are upsetting or hurting you, but using "I" statements will be very effective and respectful. For example, if the person is too kind and they never try to correct the problem, talk to them about how they felt: "When we went to dinner and you didn't ask for the person. Correct service, I / you have a feeling that you are not standing up for your needs. Can we talk about ways to solve this problem? ".
   • Avoid passive aggression. You will feel as if the "kindest" thing you can do is make a cue at the moment you are angry, instead of talking directly about it. However, it's best to be clear, direct, and honest about how you feel. Passive aggression destroys trust and hurts or anger the other person. You should state what you want to mean, and express what you want to say. You can still be straightforward and kind at the same time.

4. 

   
   
   Win the love of loved ones and friends. The family and friends of the person you love have a big impact on their lives. Winning the love of these people will help both to love each other more deeply.
   • Be kind and polite. But be yourself! You don't want to make yourself someone else when you're with family and friends, and be different when you're around someone you love. You need to be honest.
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Advice

• Remember, you can only love the right person for you. You won't be able to fall in love with anyone just because they seem nice.
• Try to be patient. Love is a process that can take place quickly or slowly depending on the circumstances.

Warning

• You cannot force others to love you. If the person is not interested, go ahead. Don't waste time and energy on someone who doesn't appreciate who you are.