Content

• Steps

Living away from people you love is always difficult, especially if it's your partner. It's okay to miss them, but it's important to take care of yourself and your mental health. Learning to overcome your spouse's nostalgia will need similar steps no matter how long you will be away from them. Organizing your thoughts and creating activities for your free time are effective ways to keep you thinking of your loved one in a positive, healthy way. If you are remembering someone who passed away or broke up, learn how to cope with these losses.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Maintain a busy life

1. 

   Spend more time with family and friends. Staying home alone waiting for your ex to come home will not make you feel more comfortable when they are away, and will run the risk of making you angry. Instead, try to spend time with friends or people you love. See this separation as an opportunity for you to reconnect with old friends. Or, spend some time with your best friend and remind them that they are important to you too.
   • Call a friend and make an appointment for coffee.
   • Invite a few friends over to your home for dinner and cook together.
   • Plan to visit your grandmother in the suburbs for the weekend.
   • Don't avoid people, especially if you feel depressed.

2. 

   
   
   Spend more time on your hobbies. These could be activities that you take lightly to give your ex, or maybe a new activity that you wanted to try but didn't have time to do.
   • Instead of waiting and feeling lonely, use your free time to model the ship or a set of clothes.
   • Start learning a new language with a free mobile app like Duolingo.
   • Find and read a book that you enjoyed before.

3. 

   
   
   Create a beautiful piece of art to celebrate your relationship. Use whatever art tool or craft tool you like, or try something new! You can design an embroidery pattern with your initials, a joke or a favorite reference, or a movie character that the person admires. Draw an abstract picture of how you feel about your partner using different colors and textures. You can also make a collection of your favorite photo collages.
   • Cross embroidery is an interesting hobby to use in your free time because it is detailed work and often requires calculation. If this is your first time trying cross stitching, choose a simple embroidery pattern so that you won't feel discouraged or overwhelmed.
   • Buy cheap acrylic paint at a craft store or Walmart and burlap to paint an abstract painting. Choose colors that express your feelings and add ingredients like sand or plaster to create different textures.
   • Use a blank photo frame with or without glasses as a photo gallery. If the frame doesn't have glass, stick the photos onto a cardboard and cover it with Mod Podge glue or use a glossy spray to protect the photos from damage.

4. 

   
   
   Write a poem, comic story, or graphic story. You can create something special that describes your relationship to send it to your spouse or share it with when he or she returns. Use whatever creative writing style you love. Dedicate all of your energy to making a great gift to show your partner how much they mean to you.
   • Write a poem on a beautiful piece of paper with a calligraphy pen. A more interesting way is to make your own paper.
   • Write a children's book about how the two of you met and complete with illustrations. You don't have to draw well to create a cute book that your crush will like. You should draw simple illustrations and add meaningful details to each scene.

5. 

   Develop new relationships. Join a book or movie commentary club, it's your chance to meet many people in society. These activities also require you to spend your free time reading books or watching movies. Also, maybe you will find a great new friend, you might even meet another couple you both hang out with in the evenings.

6. 

   Distract yourself by do exercise. When you're feeling down and can't enjoy the leisure activity you enjoy, get up and run, cycle a bike, or go to the gym and do cardio at least 20 minutes. Not only does physical exercise help you release stress and focus on something else instead of the problem that's upsetting you, but your body releases the happy hormone endorphins that help dispel sadness and improve mood .
   • Just 5 minutes of vigorous exercise can instantly feel good, but regular exercise will help you deal with the lingering stress. Think of exercise as a natural medicine your body needs to function in a healthy way.

7. 

   Complete all unfinished projects. You should see time away from your spouse as an opportunity to complete unfinished tasks. It could be something you have started working on but haven't done yet, or something that you put off until you have enough time to complete it. You will become busy and feel good about yourself because you will get things done in the end.
   • Re-fill the bathtub, use sandpaper to clean and fix grandma's old wardrobe, or fix the screen door that is swinging in the wind, etc.
   • Finish writing a book of short stories, make pillows from existing rags, or sign up for the pet training classes you already want to take.
   • Paint your bedroom, mount the shelves in the bathroom, or grow vegetables in the garden.
   advertisement

Method 2 of 3: Maintain a good relationship

1. 

   Accepting that time spent apart is a good thing. Whether you live together or not, having time alone is essential to maintaining your independence in any relationship.
   • If you can't bear to be apart for a few days, you may be too dependent on each other to find yourself happy and confident. You need to remind yourself that you are precious and that you don't need anyone else to give meaning to your life. You could try saying, "I'm a precious person and having time alone will be good for me".
   • Being apart gives you a chance to miss your partner, and it will remind you of how important that person is to you. If you've never been away from them, you'll probably start to look down on the simple things you like about each other.

2. 

   Don't worry about what the person is doing. If you've always wondered what your spouse is doing without you — whether it's a trivial thing like watching an episode of a TV show the two of you watch together, or a big deal like them cheating — perhaps you are disguising your own fear of being left or hurt. You need to turn your thoughts on what you have control over: how you are spending your time.
   • It is natural to worry from time to time, however being haunted by such thoughts is a sign of dependent anxiety. People who have this problem often think about their partner's worst behavior or wait for the relationship to end.

3. 

   Make phone calls or chat over video. If you are too far apart to see each other in person, scheduling a time to talk to your ex over the phone can give you something to look forward to. It was also an opportunity to connect with each other while you were far away, and have a real conversation.
   • Don't call or text too often. You need to evaluate your relationship, how long will you be apart from each other, and how often you talk or see each other.
   • If you know that the other person is busy, send a private message via email or Facebook instead of a phone message, or call their voicemail and leave a sweet note. These types of communication will not disturb the person while they are at work or have a family affair, and it will be a pleasant surprise.
   • Try to schedule special times together, like watching a favorite show at the same time slot when the person is away. You will feel more intimate knowing that the person is watching the same show as you, it also helps the two of you share something to discuss instead just how much you miss each other.

4. 

   Keep your relationship fresh. When you meet, and even when you can chat over the phone or over video calls, you need to make sure you don't always do / say the same things. Plan different types of activities for date nights. You can talk about new topics that you have never discussed before, and topics that you want to talk about to get to know each other better.
   • If the conversation gets boring, talk about a new problem or an interesting topic you heard recently.
   • Talk about your childhood. What kind of person did you want to be when you grew up; What was that fun game you liked as a kid; What is your favorite Halloween costume?
   • Look for articles in the country or online for more ideas on novel activities to try. You can ask a friend or colleague about what they do together to get more ideas.

5. 

   Plan a special activity. Include new activities that the two of you never did when you fell in love or never talked about trying it. Or you can plan to spend your day together as a surprise and include something your crush has always wanted to do. Use your imagination! Consider dedicating an entire day to a topic, like a romantic movie (When Harry Met Sally), or pretend trip to Paris.
   • Eat croissants and sit in an open-air cafe for a few hours, cross the most beautiful bridge near you, and tour the art museum in the city.
   • Have a picnic at the park and have lunch outdoors, visit a flower shop on your way home to buy flowers you noticed earlier, and plant flowers when you get home.
   • Focus on the theme of “water” and schedule a tour of the aquarium park or science museum, find the largest public fountain in town and bring your change to wish together (first you make sure this is allowed!), and end the day by walking along a nearby canal or beach.
   • Make plans to hunt animals together. Write down suggestions that will lead you to different places that remind you of each other or bring the surprise that you know your crush will like.

6. 

   Tell the person you love and miss them. The best way to deal with the separation and maintain a close relationship is to talk about your feelings together. When you talk, tell the person that you miss them. You can ask them what they're up to and tell them about your life to feel more connected. Remind your ex that you are grateful that they are a part of your life. advertisement

Method 3 of 3: Redirect negative emotions

1. 

   Detecting and accepting negative emotions is normal. When you really miss the person and can't seem to stop yourself thinking about them, don't try harder. Sometimes trying not to think about someone will only reinforce the fact that you miss the person a lot. Instead, ask yourself why you were feeling sad or angry at the time. Once you know why you feel that way, you should be able to do something about it.
   • When you have a feeling of longing, ask yourself: are you depressed, did you have a bad day and you wish they were there to talk to you about, are you Remember the things your ex does for you? Go to the movies, call a friend to chat, or learn how to cook a unique dish.
   • If you feel like you are angry or depressed, try to figure out exactly what these feelings are.Do you feel neglected, forgotten, or mediocre? These feelings are often extreme reactions to being apart, yet they do not reflect your partner's feelings or wishes.

2. 

   Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When you think like this, “I miss them so much! I can't take it anymore ”, you need to stop and overcome the tendency of negative thinking. Adjust your thinking habits so that they reflect positive feelings about yourself. Remind yourself that you can take it, and being apart isn't necessarily a bad thing.
   • When you realize that you are always feeling tired of being together, stop and focus on the present moment. You can substitute the "I wish we were together right now" thinking, with something like this "it's nice to have a cat (or a dog) with you all day." Usually it runs to its lover first. Turn loneliness into a feeling of connection with someone or something else.
   • Use logic to overcome negative emotions if you are stuck. Thinking, "I can't be happy without them", will definitely upset you. Instead, allow yourself to take control of your own emotions and decide that you'll be happy to do something else right now.
   • Cognitive habits are created through effort. Every time you do an activity, or have a thoughtful thought, your brain tends to repeat itself.
   • Learning how to overcome negativity by focusing on positive thoughts takes time and practice. You need to stay calm with yourself and not make yourself feel worse through self-criticism.

3. 

   Replace craving and sadness with gratitude. Remembering your partner is normal because you like being with them rather than being apart. Instead of being upset, think how grateful you feel about having such a wonderful life partner. Make a list of the things you treasure about them, or the good things that they have brought into your life.
   • Think how you've changed for the better of being together: have you been calmer, more mature, or friendlier? Have you broadened your relationships and overcome your previous fears? Are you proud of yourself when you learn to think of people you love about your own needs?
   • Deciding to focus on what you have instead of what you don't have, allow yourself to remember the person. It's fine if you miss someone you care about.
   • Try to develop a habit of recognizing when you feel lonely and wishing for your partner's side, and decide to focus on feeling grateful for your time together. Start a gratitude journal and keep it by hand so you can instantly redirect your emotions as they arise.
   advertisement