Content

• Steps
• Advice

Emotional sensitivity is healthy, but there are times when it can be harmful. You need to tame your strong emotions so that they can be your allies, not your enemies. Being overly sensitive can make you think about bad things that are only in your imagination, or just unintentional things. When you misunderstand constructive things, everyday interactions can hinder you from living a happy and healthy life. Balance sensitivity with consistent judgment, confidence, and the ability to recover from bad things, so you won't overreact in everyday situations.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Exploring emotions

1. 

   Realize that your high susceptibility is congenital. Neuroscientists have found that part of our susceptibility is related to our genome. About 20% of the population may be in the "extremely sensitive" category, meaning they have the ability to perceive minor stimuli, while most others are not. In addition, they also experience more intense exposure to those triggers. This high sensitivity is related to a gene that affects the hormone norepinephrine, a "stress" hormone and also a transmitter in the brain. It has the effect of stimulating attention and feedback.
   • Some of the most overly sensitive emotional reactions have also been linked to oxytocin, the hormone responsible for feeling love and bonding with fellow humans. Oxytocin can also stimulate emotional sensitivity. If you have high oxytocin, your "innate social reasoning" may be higher, making you more sensitive to even the tiniest reception (and filial piety) of signals.
   • Different societies will react differently to highly sensitive people. In many Western cultures, highly sensitive individuals are often mistaken for weakness or intolerance and often bullied. But not anywhere in this world is. In many other places, highly sensitive people are often considered gifted, as sensitivity allows them to be receptive and understanding of others. The things that are part of your personality can be judged differently, depending on what culture you live in, as well as other factors such as your gender, home environment, and schooling pattern. attend school.
   • While effective emotional adjustment is possible (and important), if you are already sensitive, you need to learn to accept it. You can practice less overreaction, but you will never be a completely different person - and neither should you try. Be yourself in the best version.

2. 

   
   
   Self assessment. If you are not sure if you are too sensitive, take a few steps to make a self-assessment. One way is to take a test, such as the one from "The Emotionally Sensitive Person" at PsychCentral. These questions can help you reflect on your feelings and experiences.
   • Try not to judge yourself when answering these questions.Answer them honestly. Once you know your sensitivity levels, you can focus on controlling them more effectively.
   • Remember that you think you who should be not important. Answer honestly, whether you are sensitive or think you are more sensitive than you really are.

3. 

   
   
   Explore your feelings through a journal. Keeping a "emotional journal" can help you track and explore your feelings and reactions. It will help you identify things that might trigger an overly emotional response. It also helps you find out if your reaction is appropriate.
   • Try writing down what you are feeling right now and see what brought about this feeling. For example, are you feeling restless? What happened during the day that made you feel that way? You may find that even small events can cause a strong emotional response in you.
   • You can ask yourself a few questions about each item, for example:
     • Right now, what am I feeling?
     • What do I think caused this reaction?
     • What do I need when I feel like this?
     • Have I ever felt this way before?
   • You can also try recording a timer. Write a sentence, like "I'm sad" or "I'm angry". Set a time for about two minutes and write about everything in life related to the feeling. Don't stop to edit or judge your own contact. You just need to write them down.
   • Once done, take a look at what you just wrote. Do you see any pattern? The feelings after each reaction? For example, anxiety often stems from fear, sadness stemming from loss, anger from feeling assaulted, and so on.
   • You can also try exploring a specific event. For example, maybe someone on the bus saw you, and you think they're criticizing your appearance. It may have hurt you, or even be sad or angry. Remind yourself of two things: 1) you don't really know what's going on in the other person's mind, and 2) the other person's judgment of you makes no sense at all. That "dirty" look could be a reaction to something completely different. And even if it is judgmental stare, the person doesn't know you and doesn't know about the great things about you.
   • Remember to practice self-compassion in your journal. Don't judge yourself for your emotions. Remember, you may not have control over your emotions at first, but you may be able to control your responses to those emotions.

4. 

   
   
   Avoid labeling yourself. Unfortunately, extremely sensitive people are often offended and labeled with bad names like "wet jackfruit" or "cauldron". Worse, those insults often turn into "labels" for others to call them. In addition, it is easy to label yourself and consider yourself not a sensitive person when you still cry sometimes, but 99.5% of the time is not. If you do, you can focus so completely on one aspect of yourself (the side that causes the problem) to the point of using it to define who you are.
   • Get rid of these "tags" by changing the state. This means you take the "label" off, throw it away and see the situation in a broader context.
   • For example, a minor cries with frustration, and an acquaintance nearby whispers "wet jackfruit" and leaves. Instead of inculcating this insult, she thinks, "I'm not a jackpot. Yes, sometimes I react emotionally in some situations. Sometimes I cry while less sensitive people won't cry. "I am trying to learn how to react to be more socially appropriate. However, insulting a crying person is very bad. I am a caring person and will not do that to others."

5. 

   Identify the factors that trigger your sensitivity. You probably already know exactly what triggers an overly sensitive response in you, or not. Your brain may have developed a kind of "automatic response" to certain triggers, such as stressful experiences. Over time, this kind of reaction becomes habitual, until you immediately react in a certain way to an event without having to think. Thankfully you can learn to retrain your brain and forming a new reaction pattern.
   • The next time you encounter emotions such as fear, anxiety or anger, stop what you are doing and shift your focus to sensory experiences. What are your five senses doing? Don't judge your experiences, acknowledge them.
   • This is how you practice "self-observation" and this will help you separate many of the "streams of information" that bring about the experience. Often, we feel overwhelmed or overwhelmed by emotion and cannot distinguish a mound of emotions and chaos at the same time. As you slow down, focus on individual senses, and separate information flows, it will be easier to restructure your brain's "automatic" habits.
   • For example, your brain can respond to stress by making your heart beat faster, and you'll feel more agitated and anxious. Knowing this is your body's default response will make it easier to judge your own response differently.
   • Journaling can help you with this. Each time you find yourself about to have an emotional reaction, record the moment you felt touched, your feelings, the experiences of your senses, your thoughts and details of the situation. . With this knowledge, you can train your brain to respond differently.
   • Sometimes, sensory experiences like being in a certain space or smelling a familiar scent can cause an emotional response. Sometimes, this isn't "overly sensitive". For example, the scent of apple pie can trigger a sad response because you and your deceased grandmother used to make apple pie together. It is healthy to note this reaction. Grieve for a moment, then you should realize why your reaction is like: "I feel sad because I had a good time when baking with her. I miss her." Then, once you've noted your feelings, you can move on to something more optimistic: "Today I will make an apple pie in her memory."

6. 

   Check to see if you have co-dependencies. Co-dependency relationships happen when you feel that your worth and your identity are dependent on the actions and reactions of others. You may feel that your purpose in life is a sacrifice for your spouse. You may feel crushed when your ex is against what you do or how you feel. Co-dependence is common in romantic relationships, but it can also happen in any other relationship. Here are signs of a co-dependency relationship:
   • You feel that contentment in your life depends on a certain person.
   • You recognize the person's unhealthy behavior but stay with them.
   • You do your best to support your ex, even if you have to sacrifice your own needs and health.
   • You always feel anxious about the relationship status.
   • You don't have a good sense of privacy.
   • You feel bad when you have to refuse something or someone.
   • You respond to people's thoughts and feelings either by agreeing with them or by immediately ruffling your defense.
   • You can deal with co-dependencies. Professional psychological counseling is the best method, however, you can also join group support programs like Co-Dependents Anonymous.

7. 

   Take it slowly. Discovering your own emotions, especially in sensitive matters, can be difficult. Don't put too much energy into it at once. Psychologically, stepping out of your comfort zone is essential for maturity, but doing too quickly and too much will lead to a setback.
   • Make an appointment for yourself to check your sensitivity. You can explore your emotions for 30 minutes a day.After that, when you're done with today's emotional discovery quest, do something relaxing or fun.
   • Note down when you avoid thinking about your sensitivity because it is too difficult or makes you feel uncomfortable. Procrastination is often rooted in fear: we fear the experience will be unpleasant and therefore don't want to do it. Remind yourself that you are strong enough to do this, then give it a try.
   • If you are really having trouble coping with your emotions, try setting an attainable goal for yourself. If you want, start with 30 seconds. You only need to face your sensitivity for 30 seconds. You can do it. Once done, set yourself up for another 30 seconds. You will find these small achievements that make you braver.

8. 

   Allow yourself to feel your emotions. Overcoming your overly emotional sensitivity doesn't mean you have to stop feeling all of your emotions at the same time. On the contrary, suppressing or denying your emotions can harm you. Instead, your goal should be to recognize "unpleasant" emotions like anger, grief, fear and grief - these emotions are just as important to your mental health as emotions. "positive" (happy, happy ...) - just don't let them dominate. Work towards emotional balance.
   • You can find a "safe place" to express all your emotions. For example, if you are experiencing grief over someone who has just passed away, give yourself a little time each day to let out your emotions. Set a time and record your feelings, cry, talk about your own feelings - do what you feel you need to do. When time is up, go back to the rest of the day. You will feel better after acknowledging your feelings. You also won't fall into a single emotion for the entire day, which is very harmful. Once you know you have a "safe place" to release your emotions, it will be easier to continue with your routine tasks.
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Part 2 of 3: Test your thoughts

1. 

   Learn to recognize distortion syndrome, which may be making you overly sensitive. Cognitive distortion is harmful reaction and thinking habits your brain has learned over time. You can recognize and process these distortions as they occur.
   • Cognitive distortion often does not happen alone. As you explore patterns in your thoughts, you may find that you have experienced cognitive distortions several times in response to an emotion or event. Take time to fully explore your best friend's reactions and you will see what works and what is just harmful.
   • There are many types of cognitive distortions, but some of the most common causes of extreme sensitivity are: selflessness, labeling, sentences containing the word "must", inferences based on feelings and hastily conclude.

2. 

   Recognize and take care of self-indulgence.Take it all yourself is a common cognitive distortion that can cause undue emotional sensitivity. When you "take all of yourself", you make yourself the cause of things that you are unrelated to or unable to control. You can also "take on yourself" things that are not intended for you.
   • For example, if your child gets a few comments from their teacher about their behavior, you might assume those statements are targeting you: "Your teacher thinks I'm a bad dad. How dare she criticize her parenting style? " This understanding can lead to an overly sensitive reaction because you are taking a criticism as an accusation.
   • Instead, try to take the situation more logically (this will take some practice, so be patient with yourself). Find out exactly what's going on and you know What about this situation. If the teacher sends home comments such as: your child needs to pay more attention in class, this is not a criticism that you are a "bad" father or mother. This is just information that you can use to help your child do better in class. This is an opportunity to mature, not to be ashamed.

3. 

   Recognize and handle marking.Assign a tag is the "all or nothing" type of thinking. This usually happens with the act of "taking it all yourself". When you label yourself, you generalize yourself against a single action or event instead of recognizing what you are. do it's not like you are Who.
   • For example, if you receive criticism on your essay, you could label yourself as "loser" or "poor". Labeling yourself as a "failure" means you feel like you'll never make any progress, so you won't strive anymore. This can lead to feelings of guilt and shame. In addition, it also makes it difficult to accept constructive criticism because you take every criticism as a sign of "failure".
   • Instead, recognize your mistakes and deal with them for what they are: specific situations that you can learn to grow into later. Instead of labeling yourself a "loser" when you get a bad score, take note of your mistakes and think about what you can learn from the experience: "Okay, I didn't do this essay very well. Disappointing, but this is not the end of the world. I'll ask the teacher what I need to improve in my next essay.

4. 

   Identify and process sentences that contain "must". These statements can be harmful because they keep you (and others) bound by unreasonable standards. They are often based on ideas from the outside instead of what really matters to you. When you break a "must-do" thing, you may punish yourself even less and decrease your motivation to change. These ideas can cause feelings of guilt, confusion, and anger.
   • For example, you can tell yourself, "I really have to go on a diet. I can't be lazy." In the first place, you have "blamed" yourself for the action, but that is not a good motivation.
   • You can deal with these "must" statements by checking what is really happening after the "must". For example, do you think you "have to" go on a diet because other people tell you to? Is it because you feel pressured by the social standards of appearance? They are not healthy or helpful reasons to motivate you to do something.
   • However, if you feel you "have to" go on a diet because you talked to your doctor and agreed that it's healthy, you can turn the word "must" into something more constructive: " I want to improve my health so I will do things like eat more fresh food to take care of myself. This way, you won't be overly critical of yourself; instead, you're using a positive force - and it's much more effective in the long run.
   • Sentences containing "must" can also cause extreme sensitivity when you direct them towards others. For example, you might get confused if you're talking to someone who isn't responding to your liking. If you say, "She is right You're happy about what you said, "you will be confused and maybe even hurt if the other person doesn't feel what you think she" must "feel. Remember that you can't control your emotions. or the reaction of others Avoid falling into a situation where you expect others to act or react in a certain way.

5. 

   Recognize and process emotional inference. When you "reason by feeling", you are assuming your feelings are the truth. This kind of cognitive distortion is very common, but with a little effort you can learn to recognize and counteract it.
   • For example, you might feel hurt because your boss pointed out some mistakes in a big project you just finished. If you let your emotions take over, you can assume your boss is being unfair because you are feeling negative. You infer it like this because you feel like a "loser", you're really a worthless employee. These inferences have absolutely no logical evidence.
   • To deal with emotional inference, try writing down some situations in which you experienced negative emotional responses, and then writing down any thoughts you have. Write down your feelings as they appear. Finally, check out the real results of the situation. Are they true to what your emotions tell you? You will often find that your emotions are not helpful proof.
6. Get out and hastily handle conclusions. Hurry to conclude that the action is almost identical to the emotional inference. When you rush to conclude, you are relying on negative reviews of a situation without any evidence to back up your judgment. In extreme cases, you can catastrophic "situations, which means you let your thoughts go awry and out of control until they lead you to the worst possible possibility.

   

   • "Thought reading" is a kind of conclusion rush and it can contribute to undue sensitivity. When you read your mind, you assume that people are reacting negatively to something about you, even if you don't have strong evidence.
   • For example, if your partner doesn't text you in response to a question about what to eat tonight, you might think they're ignoring you. You don't have any evidence to back it up, but this misinterpretation can make you feel hurt or angry.
   • Predicting the future is another kind of conclusion rush. This happens when you guess things will go badly, no matter what evidence you have on hand. For example, you might not come up with a new project at work because you think your boss will dismiss it right away.
   • Another kind of extreme conclusion rush is when you "catastrophically" everything. For example, if you don't get a response from your partner, you might assume she is angry with you. You may be in a hurry to assume that she is avoiding talking to you because she is hiding something, for example she has fallen out of love with you. Then, you will assume the relationship has broken, and you will have to live alone in the attic in your parents' house. This is an extreme example, but it does illustrate the kind of logic that occurs when you rush to conclusions.
   • Change this "mind reading" inference by talking openly and honestly with others. Don't approach them with accusations or blasphemy, ask what is really going on. For example, you could text your partner: "Hey, do you have something to share?" If they say no, believe it.
   • Change the "predict the future" and "catastrophize everything" by examining the logical evidence while thinking. Do you have evidence from the past to support this inference? Have you seen anything in the current situation to use as evidence for your thinking? Often times, if you take the time to step by step analyze your reaction, you will find yourself interpreting in an absurd logic, with no supporting evidence. By practicing, you will progress in stopping inference.
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Part 3 of 3: Action

1. 

   Meditate. Meditation, especially mindfulness meditation, is an activity that can help you control your responses to your emotions. It can also help you improve your brain's response to stressors. Mindfulness focuses on acknowledging and accepting your feelings in the present moment without criticizing them. This can be very helpful in overcoming extreme emotional sensitivity. You can take a class, use online meditation techniques or learn to meditate on your own mindfulness.
   • Find a quiet place where you won't be distracted by work or distraction. Sit up straight on the floor or in a straight chair. Hunchbacked sitting can make it difficult to breathe properly.
   • Start by focusing on each element of your breath, for example the feeling your chest rises and falls or the sound of each breath. Focus on this for a few minutes while you are breathing deeply and steadily.
   • Expand the scope of focusing on the senses. For example, start focusing on what you hear, smell, and touch. This can help keep your eyes closed, which is because we are easily distracted when we see something.
   • Accept the thoughts and feelings you experience but don't judge anything as "good" or "bad". That way, you can consciously feel things as they appear, especially in the beginning: "I feel my toes are cold. I'm thinking I'm distracted."
   • If you find yourself distracted, focus again on your breathing. Set aside 15 minutes a day to meditate.
   • You can find mindfulness meditation tutorials online at the UCLA Mindfulness Awareness and Research Centers and BuddhaNet.

2. 

   Learn how assertive communication. Sometimes, we become overly sensitive because we don't explicitly state our needs or feelings to others. When you are passive in communication, you will have trouble saying "no" and you will not be able to clearly and honestly state your thoughts and feelings. By learning to communicate assertively, you will learn how to communicate your needs and feelings to others, so you will feel heard and appreciated.
   • Use self-pronouns as the subject when speaking to state your feelings. For example: "I feel sad because you are late for the meeting", or "I want to go home early to go to a meeting because I'm afraid I'll be late". This will help you avoid talking like blaming others and keep focusing on your feelings.
   • Ask prompt questions while you are talking. Especially if the conversation is emotional, asking questions to clarify your understanding will help you not overreact. For example, after the other person has finished talking, say: "I see you just said ... Right?" Then let the person have a chance to clarify.
   • Avoid "giving orders". Words like "must" or "no" will impose a moral judgment on another's behavior and feel like you are blaming or asking for the other person. Please replace with "I think" or "I want you". For example, instead of saying "I remember to take out the trash", say "I want you to remember to take out the trash because I feel so tired doing things you forgot for me."
   • Don't let inference rage. Don't infer that you really know what's going on. Let others share their thoughts and experiences. Use sentences like "What do you think?" or "Do you have any suggestions?"
   • Be aware that others will have different experiences. Fighting over who is the "right" can make you feel agitated and angry. Emotions are subjective; Remember there is no "right" answer to your emotions. Use sentences like "My experience is different from me" along with acknowledging the feelings of others, so everyone's experience will be recognized.

3. 

   Wait until you calm down. Emotions can affect the way you react to situations. Reacting in a emotional moment can make you do unfortunate things. Give yourself time to relax, even if just a few minutes, before reacting to a provoking situation.
   • Ask yourself "If ... then". "IF I do this now, what happens after that?". You should consider as many causes and effects - both positive and negative - for your actions. Then, consider each outcome with your actions.
   • For example, maybe you just had a big fight with your partner. You are angry and heartbroken, and just want a quick divorce. Take your time and ask yourself "If ... then". What if you ask for a divorce? Your partner may feel hurt or unloved. They may still remember the statement when you both calmed down, and assume that it is a sign that you are not trustworthy when you are angry. They may agree to divorce you while they are angry during an argument with you. Do you want to face those consequences?

4. 

   Approach yourself and others with kindness. You may find yourself avoiding stressful or unpleasant situations because you are always overly sensitive.You may think that any mistake in relationships is disruptive, so you avoid building relationships with others, or if you do, only superficially. Approach others (and yourself) with love. You should think about the best of people, especially those who know you. If your feelings are hurt, don't assume it was intentional: tolerate that everyone, including friends and family, can make mistakes.
   • If you do feel really hurt, conclusively convey it to your loved one to express it. They may not realize that they have hurt you, and if they truly love you, they will want to know how to avoid doing it again later.
   • Don't criticize others. For example, if a friend forgot that you two were dating for lunch, don't start by saying "You forgot me and you hurt me". Instead, say "I feel sad that you forgot our lunch date, for me it is very important that we spend time together". After that, allow the person to tell their story: "What did you encounter? Do you want to talk about it?"
   • Remember that others may not always want to talk about their feelings or experiences, especially if they are new or inexperienced. Don't make it your fault if your loved one doesn't want to share it right away. It's not a sign that you've made a mistake, they just need some time to process their feelings.
   • Approach yourself in such a way that you treat your friends who you love and care about. If you can't say something that hurts or judges your friends, why would you do that to yourself?

5. 

   Seek professional help if needed. Sometimes, you can do your best to control your sensitivity but still feel overwhelmed. You can work with a qualified psychologist to explore your feelings and responses in a safe environment and receive adequate help. A trained counselor or therapist will help you discover harmful ways of thinking to manage your emotions in a healthy way.
   • Sensitive people may need help learning how to manage negative emotions, as well as skills in handling emotional situations. This may not be a sign of a mental illness, but you will develop useful skills in communicating with others.
   • Ordinary people can also seek the help of a psychologist. You do not have to have a psychological illness or you are having a serious problem before you need to see a counselor, psychiatrist, therapist, etc. These are health professionals, like dentists, ophthalmologists, general practitioners or physiotherapists. Although psychological treatments are sometimes seen as problems (instead of arthritis, tooth decay or sprains), many people still benefit from them.
   • Some may believe that everyone should "try and bear" and live strong for themselves. This can really do a lot of harm. While it is true that you should do what you can to control your emotions, you can still benefit from having someone else help you. Some disorders, such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, make it difficult for a person to process their emotions. Seeing a psychologist is not frail. It shows you are self-conscious.
   • Most counselors and therapists cannot prescribe medications for you. However, a mental health professional can know when you need to see a specialist for a diagnosis and prescription for disorders like depression or anxiety.

6. 

   High sensitivity may depression or other problems. Some people have an innate sensitivity, and that is evident from the time they were babies. This is not a disorder, a psychological illness or a "problem" - this is just a trait of their personality. However, if a person goes from a normal sensitivity to being extremely sensitive, "easily cries", "easily touched", "irritable" or so on, that could be an indication. There's something wrong.
   • Sometimes, over-sensitivity is the result of depression, and it overwhelms people with emotions (both negative and sometimes positive).
   • An imbalance in metabolism can cause undue sensitivity. Pregnant women, for example, can react very emotionally. Either it's a boy going through puberty, or someone with a thyroid problem. Some drugs or drug treatments can cause emotional changes.
   • A trained doctor will help you screen for depression. It's fine to self-diagnose, but it's best to see a specialist to see if you're depressed, or if you're overly sensitive to other reasons.

7. 

   Please be patient. Emotional development is like physical development, it takes time and can cause unpleasant emotions. You will learn from your mistakes, and that's the right thing to do. Any setbacks or challenges are essential in this process.
   • Compared to adults, young people often have a harder time being overly sensitive. As you mature, you will learn to control your emotions more effectively and gain valuable situation-handling skills.
   • Remember, you have to be informed about something very well before reacting to it, otherwise it will be like stabbing your head in an unfamiliar place after just glancing at the map, while you haven't. understand how to use the map - you don't have enough knowledge of the place to travel, and getting lost is almost certain. Explore your mind maps and you will better understand your sensitivities and how to control them.
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Advice

• Tolerance of one's shortcomings will remove shame and increase empathy for others.
• Don't feel like you always have to explain your anxiety to others in order to rationalize your actions or emotions. You absolutely can keep them to yourself.
• Handle negative thoughts. Negative internal dialogue can do great harm. When you feel that you are criticizing yourself too much, think: "How will other people feel when I tell them that?"
• Naturally emotional triggers differ from person to person. Although your acquaintance has the same triggers about the same problem as you, the way it affects you may not be the same as the way it affects that person. It was just accidental, not a universal phenomenon.