Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Sexual frustration happens to most of us at different times. This condition is often caused by many causes such as: not having a sexual partner to satisfy sexual needs, a partner who does not meet the needs, or being physically and mentally hindered in sex work. It's important to identify the right causes of your disappointment in your life and take the necessary action to help yourself (and your partner) feel better.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Getting over frustration

1. 

   Masturbate. This is often a taboo subject to avoid mentioning, including false information and guilt. However, perfectly healthy, safe and effective masturbation can help bring pleasure to yourself. Exploring the body through “selfie” will help you understand what's good for you, as well as facilitate communication with your partner.
   • Understand that masturbation is completely natural and healthy. Research conducted by the Kinsey Institute shows that 90% of men and 64% of women masturbate, but this figure is actually higher because many people are still afraid to admit that they often "take a selfie".
   • There are many rumors surrounding orgasm in women. One of them is prescribing the "correct" way to orgasm. This is completely wrong. The female body responds to stimuli in different ways; Some people typically peak through clitoral stimulation, while others want stimulation in other sensitive areas. Don't feel guilty when it makes you feel good but doesn't apply to others (or vice versa).
   • Many people choose to use sex toys while masturbating. This is very good and normal. When using this method, you need to read the instructions carefully and use an antiseptic wash to safely clean your tools.
   • The process of masturbation releases endorphins that naturally enhance emotional arousal. Moreover, it also reduces stress and anxiety, the main culprit causing sexual disappointment. Having orgasm also causes the body to release dopamine and oxytocin, two substances that help you feel more relaxed and sleep better.
   • Try a variety of techniques. Find a comfortable place and study how your body responds to actions like touch, pressure, penetration, and physical effort.
   • If you feel that “taking a selfie” is inappropriate for religious, philosophical, or personal reasons, seeking a therapist to help you safely overcome feelings of guilt or shame in the case of masturbation is the way. that you want to do.

2. 

   
   
   Avoid imposing other people's standards on yourself. Sometimes, especially with women, sexual disappointment occurs because you feel you aren't doing it the way you have to. Keep in mind that there are no rules and times for sex, or a “normal” way to experience pleasure.You should let go of everyone else's standards and prioritize your own feelings to help focus on your own pleasure as well as those of you both.
   • For example, some women say that they don't really get on top because it feels so much lighter than it is in pornography or movies. It is important to always focus on enjoying your emotions rather than comparing yourself to an outside ideal or standard.
   • Avoid thinking about what others are doing. Some couples worry that they don't have sex at a “normal” frequency, leading to depression even while enjoying their own pleasure. Some people feel that their desires or needs are not “normal,” making them feel unsatisfied for fear of affecting themselves.
   • While it is not advisable to judge yourself or your partner for their desires or needs, keep in mind that only having sex when both parties agree. It is not acceptable to harm or infringe upon the rights of others. If you are concerned with your needs, consult a mental health professional.
   • Even when sexual desires and activities seem "out of the ordinary," such as BDSM (a form of role-play or lifestyle choice between two or more individuals to create sexual tension, pleasure, and relief. through painful and powerful experiences), can be done in a spirit of mutual respect and a healthy direction. You can consult our guide on how to conduct this activity ethically.

3. 

   
   
   Learn to accept yourself. Sexual disappointment is often caused by dissatisfaction with oneself. It can be hard to enjoy pleasure if you don't accept yourself. Feeling that you are unworthy or unworthy can also keep you away from relationships. Learning to love and enjoy yourself in the present is an effective way to reduce the distress associated with sex.
   • According to some surveys, 91% of women in America are not satisfied with their body. Women often attack the spirit with the standard body image needed. Eliminate that unreal stereotype and focus on learning to love yourself as you are.
   • Communicate with people who love and care about you. Making friends with positive people and having someone you love that accept who you are will help you become more confident.
   • Master your sexuality. Feeling guilty or contradicting your own sexuality, whether it's a desire or anything else, can turn you down. Learn to enjoy your own pleasure. Are you interested in people you find attracted to. Don't let others judge or tell you to be different.
   • Spend time on a date. Part of learning to accept yourself is seeing yourself as someone who is worth their time. Go for a romantic one-person dinner, watch a love movie, go for a walk on the beach or read a book at the bar and enjoy a drink. These actions will remind you to be important and attractive in the eyes of the other person.

4. 

   
   
   Don't focus on orgasm. Sometimes we impose ourselves to the top when having sex, and when this is not achieved we assume this is a "failure". This happens when done alone or with a partner. Focusing too much on the top will make love a burden. Focus less on orgasm and enjoy the cloudy process of rain to alleviate sexual frustration, especially when it is difficult to have peaks.
   • The inability to peak after arousal is called "orgasm absence," and it affects many people, especially women. Sometimes this problem is caused by a physical or psychological condition. You need to see a doctor to determine the cause and to consult the right mental health treatment.

5. 

   Seek professional help. There are times when your desperation about sex often stems from something you don't even realize. Depression, anxiety, and stress are all factors that interfere in the "love" story. It could also be a history of abuse or repression as a child. A therapist, especially a specialist with training in the field of sex therapy, will help you explore your sexuality and find the cause of your despair and deep anxiety.
   • Therapists often work with couples, but can also deal with individual problems. Sexual therapy is usually performed by psychologists, social workers, doctors, marriage and family therapists, or other specially trained counselors. A qualified sex therapist can be found through the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists or the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Society for Sex Therapy and Research.
   • You can talk to a counselor or therapist about other life issues - then you will see how this affects your sex life.
   • The sex therapist does not perform sexual activity on the patient. In fact, they are forbidden from flirting with patients. If this happens, notify your local Behavioral Science Department.
   • It may be a bit embarrassing to discuss your sex life with a professional, but they will listen to you (and your partner, if you both go) without judgment. If the therapist is not listening or judging, seek another professional.
   • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common treatment for sexual difficulties. This therapy helps you identify and fix negative thoughts about yourself and about having sex that make you feel depressed.

Method 2 of 4: Working with a Partner

1. 

   Exchange needs. When entering a relationship, both will have times when they do not have the same desires. Very few people have matching needs or desires, which means you and your partner need to communicate openly and honestly about your own needs.
   • Talking about needs is often awkward at first, but this is an effective way to connect with your partner.
   • Schedule a time to talk when you don't want to be distracted or disturbed. You both need to focus on the essentials of your relationship, and should not engage in conversation while watching TV or tired after a hard day's work.
   • Use clear and explicit language. The language is a sign that you are not comfortable talking about your body and needs. Furthermore, they make it difficult for your partner to understand what you want to say. Don't feel ashamed to use the right terminology when referring to yourself and your own desires. “Pussy,” “penis,” or “oral sex” is not a vulgar word.
   • Discussing needs isn't just about long-term relationships. People who are single or in a non-bonding relationship can still have an open and honest conversation with each other about their own needs and desires.
   • Feedback during sex. Don't judge or pressure your partner. Instead, you should say something like "I like it so much" or "That place is great." Avoid using words like "don't;" instead use phrases like "I / you get excited when you do that" or "I / I like you better." This kind of communication will help your partner understand and respond to your needs.

2. 

   Avoid mistakes or scrutiny. When you are both having sex problems, you often assume it's all your partner's fault. However, reprimanding or judgmental language - such as “I can't meet your needs” - will prevent the partner from opening up and stopping effective communication. Instead, try some of the following techniques for healthy and effective dialogue:
   • Start with the subject "I / you". This helps your partner understand that you are addressing your needs, not feeling embarrassed or blaming your partner. For example, “Lately, I find my“ love ”thing boring.I feel like we are not very close together. "
   • Ask your partner to share his feelings. The conversation should not be one-sided. This is a problem for both of them, so it is important to ask open-ended questions about what partners are interested in, want and experience. For example: "What makes you think meaningful in our sexual life?" or "Do you like me / how do you touch?" These questions help poll your partner, but don't make them feel blamed.
   • Never force a partner to have a relationship. You may “feel” as if sexual disappointment is a sign that the other person doesn't care about your needs, but it's not that simple. Using coercive language like “If I love you, then _____” will damage your relationship. Instead, use a sentence that begins with the subject "you" and focus on your own feelings: "When ___ doesn't happen, you don't feel attractive or attractive."

3. 

   Take time to do something romantic. The story of "love" in the movie seems very attractive. The two eyes exchanged glances and within a few seconds they both took off their clothes and threw them on the floor. Actually, it's not like that. It takes some preparation, even when you're just dating. You and your partner need to schedule time, make phone calls, take a shower, take care of your skin, and "then" have fun. Why is it necessary to make a difference in a relationship? Otherwise, it will cause the relationship to fail and both become angry or hopeless. You need to plan a romantic and rainy day in advance to relieve stress and make sure you are both satisfied.
   • Change the habit. If you tend to wait until the end of the day to be close to your partner, change it up by “falling in love” in the morning or even at noon. This is especially helpful when you often feel tired at night. Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong time for both of you to love. You just need to do what suits you and your partner.
   • Plan for sex. It may seem like preparing in advance will destroy the romance, but in reality 80% of couples plan a love affair. Being prepared not only ensures that you both spend time together, it is also something to look forward to.

4. 

   Experiment. If you and your partner have a long-term relationship, the "love" will naturally become less attractive than when you first met each other. Comfort and similarity not only obstruct intimacy and bonding, but also make sex feel boring or even mechanical, causing both despair. Talk to your partner about how to rekindle the sexual passion in the relationship. And remember that sex is not just about giving. Be creative and discover things that are interesting and satisfying.
   • Doing something new together, like masturbating for each other, will significantly improve your sex life.
   • You can also use sex toys or tools. This is especially helpful if one side has difficulty getting to the top.
   • Stimulating stories or pictures will attract couples if both enjoy them together. This helps you to uncover the other's sexuality and create a sense of experience together. However, if either is uncomfortable with this type of literature or dislike, then do not force the other party.
   • Research some sexual activities that can be done together but do not include intercourse. This will help break the "trail" and enhance the pleasurable experience. For example, you could incorporate “sensory focus” into your sexual life. This is a counseling technique in which you focus only on making erotic encounters and vice versa, but not on top. What matters is the whole process, not the destination.
   • Women often feel satisfied in love even when they don't have an orgasm, and they often experience sexuality in a way that helps connect emotionally with their partner. Don't put too much emphasis on being on top to help focus fully and enjoy the fun that is happening.

5. 

   Actively stimulating. Many people, especially women, sometimes need to self-stimulate before getting interested in sex. If you wait to have sex until you have a sexual desire, it takes a long time, and this can lead to sexual despair. You need to be proactive in self-stimulation and social networking to minimize this frustration.
   • Having a relationship plan, as mentioned above, can be helpful in this step. If you know that Friday night is a “date night,” then you will be “easily excited” and actively stimulate yourself.
   • The female sexual response cycle is often more complex (in general) than for men. While a man's cycle is usually in a straight line (desire, arousal, climax), a female's cycle is one. They may go through each stage in different order, or not even go through one or two stages. Therefore, women need to self-stimulate before sexual desire begins.
   • The difference in the 'no' sexual response cycle is no justification for trying to force a woman to have sex when she doesn't want to. If the person says "no" to the problem, then he / she refuses to have sex. Don't put pressure on your partner.

6. 

   Compromise. Sometimes you and your partner have different desires or needs. Perhaps one of the two is lost in dreams and the other is not interested. Or maybe one party needs more sex than the other. What contributes to a healthy, happy sex relationship is learning to compromise so that each person's needs are met and both feel comfortable and respected.
   • For example, if your partner likes erotic patterns that you are not interested in, give him / her a hug while the person is “taking a selfie,” using visual words, or telling a stimulating story. Relevant likes for the other party to hear. Avoid doing things that make the person uncomfortable.
   • It is often said that women have less desire than men; but in reality many women want "more" than their male partners. Most research has shown that both men and women think about "love" with the same frequency and degree. To know what your partner wants or needs, ask him or her directly.

7. 

   Close to each other in another location. Sex is the most effective way to show love for each other and enhance intimacy. If one of you doesn't feel close enough during the relationship, your relationship will suffer. Find ways other than "love" to stick together. This will help reduce the pressure on a relationship that plays a major role in bonding the two sides.
   • For example, you can both participate in hobbies or hobbies. Working together to achieve your goals, or simply learning to cook together, also improves intimacy and shared common goals.
   • Take time every day to show your appreciation and love for that person. Use clear language to show that you truly love what is part of your partner. For example, “I like my blue coat because it makes my blue eyes so beautiful” or “I really appreciate it when you prepare dinner. for the kids so you can join the book club. You really appreciate the fact that you are always dedicated to you. "

8. 

   Consult a therapist. Therapy can be used for individuals as well as for couples. A qualified marriage and family or sex therapist will help you communicate better with your partner and guide you through your depression in healthy and effective ways.

Method 3 of 4: Find ways to relieve your frustration

1. 

   Physical activity. Depression (physical or otherwise) can be relieved through physical effort. Sports like boxing or martial arts are especially effective.These activities take up all of your time, distract your mind and boost healthy adrenaline.
   • Exercise is also good for health, like yoga, fitness, and the standard exercise for the heart. Not only improves mental but also physical enhancement.

2. 

   Pursue gentle arts or hobbies as relief. If you don't like sports, there are some arts related activities you can do. This hobby has an effective soothing effect; In addition, when stress and anxiety are repelled, your sorrows will disappear quickly. The less pressure you are on, the calmer you will become.
   • You can paint, cook, do DIY projects at home, make candles or ceramics, play an instrument, do carpentry, woodworking, or other hobbies that interest you. In addition, you will also have the opportunity to develop your own skills.

3. 

   Using technology. With today's modern technology, long distance love has never been easier. If you feel depressed because your partner is far away, chat on Skype, Facetime, or exchange pictures and stimulating messages (sext). This can significantly improve your condition.
   • Some people tend to be cautious about the method of "love" over the phone or similar. This is something you need to act slowly towards your partner. Start with small details like telling the other person how much you miss him / her and want to be touched, then work your way up.

Method 4 of 4: Understanding Other Causes of Disappointment

1. 

   Consult your doctor. Some of the causes of sexual disappointment, such as erectile dysfunction or difficulty in arousal or orgasm, can all be related to health problems. Your doctor will often make treatment options or make lifestyle changes to help you get rid of that distress.
   • Erectile dysfunction is the main culprit leading to sexual disappointment not only for men but also for women. Heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and certain conditions can all affect a man's ability to achieve and maintain an erection.
   • Age is also a common cause of both men and women becoming depressed about sex. Sexual dysfunction occurs as we age. Your doctor will help find the right treatment to deal with this daunting problem.

2. 

   Rest much. Fatigue can be the culprit of sex-related problems such as erectile dysfunction and difficulty in orgasm. Feeling exhausted also affects self-stimulation and performance. You may feel frustrated by not having enough energy to "love", or because you have tried to have sex but cannot maintain inspiration due to fatigue. The right rest will keep you energized and ready for the fun.
   • Sleep apnea is a deterrent factor, especially for men and people who are obese. If you often feel tired waking up in the morning and not relaxing even with enough sleep, then you need to see your doctor for treatment.

3. 

   Dispel stress. Pressure affects your ability to enjoy a relationship. If you cannot control the problem, you need to see a psychiatrist or a specialist to find an effective solution. Your (or your partner's) sexual symptoms can be a side effect of extreme stress.
   • Practice yoga, meditation, and deep breathing exercises to help alleviate everyday anxiety.

4. 

   Deal with your sorrow. Depression depression is the main culprit in sexual dysfunction. If you are struggling with this condition, the reduced libido is likely to make you or even your partner feel depressed. See a mental health professional to correct this and improve your libido.
   • The brain is the largest human genitalia, and it needs to function well to help a sexual life. Clinical depression is often caused by a chemical imbalance that affects sexual ability and ability to have sex
   • Depression also often causes feelings of worthlessness or that sadness influences sexual desires. Seeking help in letting go of distractions will help you overcome your negative emotions, create more arousal, and crave sex.
   • Some antidepressants also affect libido. If you are taking medication and notice unwanted side effects, see your doctor. "No" never self-discontinue or change dosage.

5. 

   Find an alternative source of joy. If sexual disappointment is caused by a physical disability, don't despair either. Many people with disabilities still have a healthy and satisfying sex life.
   • Studies have shown that every part of the body can become a sensitive area. It is not necessarily the genitals that bring excitement.
   • Coordinate all of the senses. You need to keep in mind that sex is not just a contact between two genitals, but also a combination of sight, smell, hearing, touch and taste that contribute to your experience. better.
   • Many people with genital loss sensation are still able to achieve orgasm through stimulation of this sensitive area. You can feel the excitement in other parts of your body without even thinking about it.
   • Also you can apply some techniques in tantra sex (science of enchantment). Sexual tantra includes the philosophy of Eastern mindfulness and is present in the present moment. This type of relationship helps you to enjoy love without having to worry about things that get in the way. For example, simply focus on the sensation of the activity or the rhythm of your breathing to help you stay "present in reality."

Advice

• Always have safe sex. Use condoms, birth control methods and find out your partner's sex history and sexually transmitted diseases.

Warning

• Never force another person to have sex. Be respectful when the other person refuses.
• Only "love" when both sides agree.