Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Having sex is likely to lead to both positive and negative results. Inexperience, insufficient knowledge, or previous sexual difficulties can make you extremely scared when you join a relationship. Men and women both share certain fears, but also have their own problems to deal with. Knowledge, self-help strategies, and expert support will help you completely eliminate your fear.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Completely Eliminating Fear

1. 

   Face your fear. Determine what you are afraid of and challenge and deal with it. When you feel fearful about sex, you need to know the causes of your fear and anxiety. Finding a specific fear will help you focus on finding a solution.
   • Sit back and relax and make a list of all the things you fear about sex. For example, maybe you don't know how to approach the subject, worry about making a mistake, or feel embarrassed naked in front of the other person.
   • Challenge your fears by listing a few possible solutions to your anxiety. For example, if you don't know how to approach this topic with others, ask a trusted friend how they did it, or find someone who can comfortably talk about the subject. and imitate their actions. Even watching a romantic movie can help.
   • In case you are worried that you will do something wrong, then you need to explore this topic and find the method that works best for yourself. Preparation and knowledge will alleviate any fear.

2. 

   
   
   Instruct yourself on human anatomy and physiology. The structure and function of the human body has been studied for many centuries. There is a lot of information that you can refer to if you do not know some or all of the male or female anatomy.
   • If the fear is related to not knowing enough about a woman's or man's genitals, then it's time you need guidance.
   • Female genitalia include: the vagina is a long tubular organ that connects from the outer door to the inner uterus; the uterus is a thick layer of striated muscle, where the fetus develops during pregnancy; the vulva consists of visible external parts (including pubic mounds, fleshy folds outside the vagina or large lips, inner folds surrounding the clitoris or small lips, clitoris, urinary tract, door lead into the vagina, pelvic floor button); The erectile tissue at the tip of the clitoris is an extremely sensitive organ.
   • Male genitals include: the penis is a cylindrical body that contains penile tissue; the testicles are circular endocrine gland organs located next to a skin sac called the scrotum; glans penis.
   • The four stages of sexual intercourse include: the euphoria, the plateau phase, the orgasm phase, and the resolution phase.
   • The orgasm phase occurs when the response of the genitals is governed by a state of stimulation in the spinal cord, and the experience of orgasm in men and women is different.
   • Once you have understood the basic structure and functions of some of the body parts involved, you will be able to control yourself and control your fear of sex.

3. 

   
   
   Make a plan of action. Most of your fears are suppressed by making a plan of action. Overcoming fear of sex is no exception. Define your main goal, and then think of steps to follow and follow with your plan.
   • Make a list of the things you fear. Are you afraid sex might happen while you're dating? So does the thought of dating someone scare you? Are you worried about your good looks, bad breath, or sweating too much?
   • Take a step-by-step approach to dealing with your fear. For example, if you're afraid of dating someone, start by asking a stranger what time it is now. Even though you don't invite the other person on a date or have sex, you get the experience of reaching out to others and asking questions for them. This is the first step towards your goal.
   • Working to find solutions will help alleviate your fear. Create a plan of action that gives you the feeling that you can do something about it.

4. 

   
   
   Practice. To overcome your sexual fear, you need to make every step of the way along the way. Research has shown that it can be helpful to overcome fear when a person is faced with an imagined situation or a daily experience. Developing positive life habits is a goal you want.
   • Learn to please yourself. Identify what makes you comfortable by touching yourself, visualizing an interaction with someone, or using specialized sex tools to provoke yourself.
   • When your partner is willing to participate, create a timed experience of sharing emotions, holding hands, kissing, stimulating physical contact, and finally having sex. Don't pressure yourself too much too soon. This will only make you feel more of your fear.

5. 

   Accept your feelings frankly. When you talk to someone you care about, be kind, considerate, and show them that you are emotionally open. Having sex is a romantic experience, so pay close attention when you share and listen to it.
   • If you feel physically or mentally uncomfortable, be upfront with your partner and take enough time to regain comfort. For example, if you are in a hurry or your body is not feeling well say, “You must stop now. I feel very uncomfortable ”.
   • Avoid happening too soon. The consequences will be dangerous. You can still be emotionally straightforward with the other person and show a sense of caution about how far you will allow yourself to go.

6. 

   Remember to have fun. Sex is exciting for everyone so relax and enjoy the experience. Focusing on the fun will distract you and let go of your fears.
   • Having a good mood during a relationship will allow yourself to feel free. For example, be playful, be innocent, and laugh at yourself. This will help you both feel comfortable.

Part 2 of 4: Dealing with Men's Concerns

1. 

   Find out your physical health. The human body is wonderful. Your body is unique and needs care so you can feel confident in your sexuality. Eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and exercising can help you maintain good health and think positively about yourself.
   • Certain drugs and alcohol affect your physical health. Avoid using them to eliminate lingering fears.
   • If you are having trouble stimulating and keeping an erection, talk to a trained specialist to fix the problem.
   • An erection abnormality often contributes to a low blood flow to the penis. Eating healthy blood vessel foods and keeping a healthy heart diet will help improve the situation. Eat a diet rich in green vegetables and fruits, whole grains, fiber, lean meats, and low-fat dairy products.

2. 

   Allowing anticipation, hoping to improve abilities. Putting too much pressure on yourself is detrimental to you. If you are afraid that you may not be able to fulfill and meet the other's needs, then you need to adjust your own thinking.
   • Men tend to be competitive with many things in life, and this is not always good. This becomes a problem when it makes you feel too stressed during sex when you focus more on "winning" rather than enjoying each other's cooperation. Focusing excessively on winning your opponent proves that you are looking forward to a degree of acknowledgment of external attraction.
   • Redirect your thoughts to the things you are sharing while interacting. This will shift the focus from self to experience and lover.
   • Don't criticize yourself. Your worth is not dependent on bed availability. You are a person with many strengths and abilities. Don't let one aspect of your life define who you are.
   • Make a list of your strengths, and how they benefit you and the people around you.

3. 

   Improve your emotional vocabulary. It can often be difficult to understand your feelings and share it with someone honestly. Frustration can happen when you don't know what you are feeling. You may be concerned about saying something wrong or not saying what you really want to express.
   • Start by writing about how you are feeling. Writing helps organize your thoughts about your fears and clarify how you feel. The article doesn't have to be perfect. It is important to subconsciously bring emotions to acknowledge, and process them.
   • If there's something you want to say to your partner, rehearse it first. Imagine yourself meeting the other person and having an interesting conversation with them.
   • Don't pressure yourself to have prejudiced thoughts about your feelings. You don't have to give everything the perfect label for it to be. You may feel a bit hesitant, a little nervous and excited, and a little bit apprehensive at the same time. This can be understood as feeling love or infatuation for someone. That feeling can be confusing.

Part 3 of 4: Dealing with Women Anxiety

1. 

   Make sure you are safe. A major concern of women when participating in sex is safety. Taking precaution helps relieve fear of being physically or emotionally hurt. Whether you're afraid of an unwanted pregnancy, losing your virginity, or your parents will find out, ensuring your safety helps keep everything under control.
   • You control your body. Stay away from any causes of your loss of control, such as alcohol or drugs.
   • Make sure you are comfortable and ready to go.
   • Always make sure someone knows where you are when you know you might be having sex with someone.
   • Prevent pregnancy using a birth control pill. Fear of unwanted pregnancy can motivate you to make good choices.

2. 

   Don't compare yourself to others. Competing with or comparing yourself to others in a group can be harmful. Becoming active in sex is a turning point for everyone. You have to control the pressure of trying to please or make someone like you by giving it away.
   • Sexual advancement is a very personal and unique part of your life. It's your experience so you need to be in control. Don't allow others to negatively influence your decisions. You need to learn how to set certain limits to help you overcome all your fears.
   • For example, someone showed a lot of interest in you and you ended up accepting dating. Your affection for the other person increases, but not as quickly as he or she would like. Your partner tells you, “I really like a lot of people and I think we should have sex at this point. When can we have sex? Don't you like me? "
   • An effective response should be, “I like you so much and I am very happy that the fact that we are getting closer. I appreciate you for always being patient with me. However, the choice of having sex with you is never what I want to rush. If you want to date someone else, then I have no choice but to let me go. ”

3. 

   Confirm the right to say "no". Rape, dating or domestic violence, and sexual harassment are extremely serious problems. As a woman, or anyone else, you need to have a clear understanding of your intentions in the face of the possibility of having sex. You can stop interacting at all times. When you say, "No!" and "Stop" means "Stop now!"
   • Pay close attention to yourself as if you care about your best friend. If you see danger in any given situation, always follow your intuition. Feel free to change your plans, mind, and date. Believe in instinct.
   • It's important to remember that you have to trust the person you are with in order to make clear, accurate decisions.

Part 4 of 4: Seeking Professional Help

1. 

   Seek a therapist. If you are avoiding sex and the thought that having sex is causing you to feel overwhelmed and unjustifiably anxious or frightened, you should seek help from a therapist. This may be a sign of phobia rather than a common fear response.
   • The physical symptoms of phobias include: sweating, tremors, feeling light-headed, and difficulty breathing.A counselor can help you manage these symptoms and the conditions in which they appear.
   • See a therapist if you have been sexually abused in the past, which may be hindering your interest in sex. Talking to a counselor and dealing with any trauma can give you a positive relationship with others.

2. 

   Learn some relaxation techniques. When we relax, we benefit. Facing an intimate personal situation with calm thoughts will help prevent fear, and increase enjoyment.
   • Some relaxation techniques include guided visualization, biofeedback, and breathing exercises. They will help you reduce stress and fears. Use these methods before you interact with someone.
   • Guided visual imagery involves focusing on soothing all the images and you can do it yourself or ask a therapist for help.
   • Biofeedback is a training method that lowers heart rate and blood pressure, which is associated with fear.
   • Nervous tranquilizing breathing exercises have been linked with either a fight or flight response, which happens when you feel fear.
   • If your fear makes you hesitate to spend time with someone in an intimate, personal situation, stop and take a minute to breathe and apply the relaxation skills you learned.

3. 

   Challenge negative thinking. Thinking affects emotions. There is a tendency to overestimate the negative results before experiencing, and underestimate your ability to cope and control the situation. These thoughts are not in balance and need to be challenged and resolved.
   • For example, you are extremely anxious and fearful that you will vomit while kissing someone while you are dating. Challenge that thought by saying, “You can't predict the future and you've never vomited on anyone before. If you feel like vomiting, apologize and go to the bathroom right away. You can control it ”.
   • You are stronger than you think. If you think you lack the proper coping skills, improve them. For example, notice how you are effectively coping with another kind of fear in your life and apply similar strategies. Also observe how someone you admire faces some tough situations. Ask them to give you some pointers to apply.
   • Talk to yourself positively to ease your thoughts and irritability. For example, if you feel fear, anxiety, or increased stress tell yourself, “You're fine. This will be fun. You don't feel embarrassed. Enjoy a good time ”.

Advice

• Don't hesitate to share your feelings with your lover. If you like something they do, let them know.
• Be wise when choosing a pillow partner. You need to trust the other person and make sure you want to share a special part of you with them.
• Indecision increases the fear. Your fear will subside as you increase the frequency of sex work.
• Protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy by using birth control pills.
• It takes courage to deal with your fear. Be courageous and you will see the benefits.
• Choose a keyword that you and your partner can say when either of you feels insecure or scared. That was your signal to stop and rest for a while.
• Breathing is the most helpful in all things sex. If you feel a bit uncomfortable, take a deep breath and try to relax.
• Spend time exploring your feelings for some of the interactions in sex.
• Start with fun and humor, but make it clear that you're not making fun of your partner.
• If the reason you are afraid of sexual abuse is because of rape or sexual abuse, be sure to discuss your concerns with your partner before you get intimate. Once you both understand the problem, the chance of one of you getting hurt is reduced.
• Let your partner understand the level of fear. If you actually burst into tears when thoughts of sex come to mind, or you start to feel dizzy, tell your partner ahead of time so he can be careful.
• Don't feel guilty when you don't want to have sex. If the other person really wants to be with you, then they will respect your wishes.

Warning

• If your partner doesn't even try to comfort you when you have trouble coping with something you're afraid of, they don't deserve to be in your life.
• Never allow someone to gossip, blame, pressure, force, or direct you to have sex when you don't want to be involved.
• The fear of sexual abuse is different from being obsessed, and the obsession is a more serious problem. You can discuss both of these with a specialist.
• An inability to stimulate and maintain an erection can be a sign of a more serious health problem. Seek this issue with a medical health consultant.
• Unsafe sex can lead to unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections, and even death. If you are not willing to be responsible for these risks, then you need to avoid and use a condom.
• A 100% reliable dose of birth control pills is to abstain from sex.