Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Are stubborn, stubborn and stubborn are words used to describe you? Keeping your stance is important, but besides that, you should still know how to compromise, give in, and cooperate. Stubbornness can be the cause of you not being invited to events, losing your friendships and even your dream job. If you've always wanted to do what you want and don't give in, now is the time to change. To transform stubbornness, you need to apply practical methods, develop negotiation skills, and analyze the causes of your stubbornness.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Take a practical approach

1. 

   Listen to the other side of the matter. Maybe you only agree with a few opinions and disagree with others. This is the time for you to listen to things you never knew about and have a better chance of reaching an agreement. When both sides are listening, everything will be easier.
   • If you are thinking of a reason to say "no" while the other person is speaking, you are not listening attentively. If you are having difficulty listening, you can tell the other person, "Yes, I am listening to what you say." This is a way to force you to pause and focus on their words.
   • Make eye contact with the other person so you can concentrate and listen attentively to what they are saying.
   • Do not interrupt the speaker. Instead, wait until the person has finished talking before addressing the problem. Repeat what you hear with the same language. Each time you do this, you will gradually become a good listener.
   • If the speaker is dissatisfied, happy, or shows passion in words, respond with, “Looks like you're excited about the opportunity. I can feel why it is important to you ”. People often love to be heard and understood. When you can repeat exactly what you heard, the speaker will know that you are listening.

2. 

   
   
   Tell yourself that you are not always right. While listening to what others say, you may think that everything he or she says is wrong because you know "what's right". Know that there is a difference between truth and subjective opinion. Your thoughts are not the most important and what you know is not entirely accurate. Accept that you will learn something new every day, even if that's what you think you already know.
   • You have the right to give your opinion, but you cannot expect others to agree with you. Repeating your opinion with your voice, over and over again, or judgment won't help you convince others to agree with you. Everyone has their own thoughts.
   • No one likes the "know it all". If you are serious about maintaining relationships with family, friends, and business associates, you must consider your ability to get along.

3. 

   
   
   Step by step build trust in others. Your stubbornness can be the reason why you can hardly trust anyone. Almost no one wants to continue to learn anything from you when you are no longer fighting hard for your goals. For those of you who still do, that's a clear sign that you should stay away. Note, this group of people is only the minority, not the majority.
   • There are many ways you can build trust with others. Start with small steps and move on to larger steps.For example, if you think someone is not responsible, allow them to help you pick up dry cleaning at the store. This is a low-risk activity, but still helps build trust. When you find the person trustworthy, give them the opportunity to do more important things. Every time that person completes a task, your trust in them increases.
   • Even if someone forgets to do something for you, it doesn't mean they are unreliable. Give them a second chance to gain your credibility. Surely you will also appreciate receiving similar concessions.

4. 

   
   
   Think openly by dismissing judgment. Engage in all discussions and situations with an open mind, neutral, and without prejudice or judgment. Always approach things with the attitude of being willing to listen to what others have to say so you can make a fair decision instead of an unwise decision. Being open to people's opinions increases the likelihood of achieving positive results.
   • Avoid drawing negative conclusions using visualization. For example, close your eyes and visualize in front of your eyes a box full of negative things you have for a person or event about to join. Imagine closing the box, locking it, and setting it aside. Open your eyes and take a step forward to symbolize staying away from your bigotry. Here's how to help you initiate an open conversation.
   • Focus on the positive emotions from an event with a positive outcome to gain more motivation to overcome the current situation.

5. 

   Modest. Don't always assume others are less valuable than you. Let's see that everyone is equal. You can be confident and correct about yourself, but don't exaggerate to make you stubborn and conservative, have a scholarly attitude, consider yourself the navel of the universe and even selfish.
   • To be humble, you need to accept each situation with gratitude for what is there. Don't brag about your accomplishments. Be grateful for what you have and the people in your life. If you take this up and care for others, you will find your stubbornness diminish.
   • Modesty requires a humble view of yourself instead of being complacent. For example, if you graduate from college with an excellent degree, don't think that very few people achieve this feat. There are countless reasons why people don't want to go to college, and many of them outperform you.

6. 

   Understand that stubbornness is also good in some situations. When you know you are right or defend something of value, stubbornness is perfectly reasonable now. Furthermore, in case you have to make a big impact decision, zero tolerance is a factor to help you. Knowing being tough at the right time is very helpful. When things are out of control and have a negative impact on you and those around you, you must find ways to stop.
   • If you or the lawyer are fighting for your rights, resilience is needed now.
   • If your medical treatment needs approval and your claim is denied, commitment will help you protect yourself.
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Part 2 of 3: Developing negotiation skills

1. 

   Build relationships to reduce stress. Don't be stubborn in exchange for what you want; Instead, learn the negotiation skills needed to compromise, compromise, and cooperate with others. This way, you get what you want in a more efficient and professional way. Building a relationship is the first step. People are generally softer than people with similar interests. If you let go of your stubbornness and bond with others, they will respond with a positive attitude.
   • Find common ground with others by noticing the picture or picture on the person's wall or on the person's table and saying “This picture is very beautiful. It seems that is the scene I saw in Nha Trang. Where did you take the picture? ”
   • Another way to find common ground between you and others is to talk about weather, animals, and children. People are generally affable to those whom they feel are close to. Find topics related to the person so that they can easily talk to you. Mentioning a common topic before you leave is an effective way to end a conversation.
   • You will be asked questions that make you "ruffled". However, keep your composure and say, "With the desire to solve the problem, I will try to answer this question with my good will." Saying this is a way to remind you to stay focused on relationship building.
   • You may feel competitive with the person, but keep in mind that every competitive situation has room for a positive teamwork.
   • Always keep a professional but friendly tone throughout the conversation.

2. 

   Minimize misunderstanding to increase solution. You need to aim to understand what others say and want. If you don't understand, ask them for more explanation. Besides, state your wishes so that the other person can understand what you want. When both sides understand each other, you will easily get positive results.
   • When you don't understand something, you can say, “It doesn't seem like I understand why you need to use your car next week. Don't you have a car to work or will you be fired because you don't have a car? "
   • You also need to apologize for the misunderstanding, such as “I apologize for creating this misunderstanding. Let me repeat it.

3. 

   Make a compelling argument for your point. Your unruly requests will lose convincing if you often choose to control the situation with a stubborn attitude. Maybe the other person no longer wants to solve the problem with you because you constantly impose your opinion.
   • Saying "Because I said so" during negotiation is unacceptable and prevents you from reaching an agreement. You will need convincing evidence to clarify your wishes. For example, if your partner wants you to go to a business party but you don't want to go, try saying “I know I'm stubborn, but the reason I don't want to go to the party is because I don't know. Someone is there, and I think you will be happier with your friends. I also don't need to worry about you feeling happy or not. I'm not participating because I really want you to be happy. "

4. 

   Take a positive look and rejoice in the deals. If you keep the intention of saying "no" to every situation, it will be difficult to reach an agreement. Conflict will be resolved more quickly when you start with the thought "What should we do to fix this?". You never lose your power when you choose this approach. In fact, it is a "formidable" achievement to come up with a solution with the right attitude.
   • If you have a conflict with your roommate and have settled on a nagging problem, say: “I'm glad we solved this problem. Let's go to celebrate coffee. I will! "
   • When you disagree with someone, acknowledge their attempt to solve a problem. For example, you could say, “I appreciate you working with me to solve the problem. I hope we can forget about that from now on.
   • Recognize that you dare leave your stubborn stubbornness to make a difference by saying, “I tried to be softer and I think it worked. Do you think so?". Don't think that you are admitting your weaknesses. Making a change is a way of showing strength.

5. 

   Accept discord. There will be times when you cannot reconcile a conflict. All you can do is do your best to solve the problem. Surely you still want to put more effort into changing the situation. At a certain point, however, you must accept the truth and move forward.
   • You can always choose to stop acting to allow yourself and the other person to think, calm down, and come up with the right solutions.
   • Sometimes the best way is to understand that you will never understand everything.This is how your mind let go of your sorrow.
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Part 3 of 3: Analyzing Your Stubbornness

1. 

   Find out and identify losses in your life. Stubbornness can be the reaction that happens when you lose someone or something in your life. Perhaps you are protecting yourself from other losses because a previous loss is extremely painful. Material, people, or family status has slipped out of your hands. So, subconsciously, you think that if you keep that consistency, you won't have to suffer.
   • Each person's stubbornness stems from many different causes. These can be: a feeling of being looked down upon; there is a certain secret that must be kept private; wanting to be noticed by others; fear of losing power.
   • Here are a few situations that ignite human stubbornness: when playing competitive games; a friend was expelled and didn't want anyone to know it so he refused to talk about school, someone argued about something and held a stance against the people involved; roommates don't want to be held accountable for money problems.
   • The defiant lifestyle you are creating is completely unhealthy. Over time, you will feel isolated, depressed, and faced with other psychological challenges.
   • Have you ever felt out of control when you were abandoned by your parent, lost a spouse, or didn't have your dream job? Instead of being stubborn, learn to cope healthier: engage in productive activities that require you to open your heart, learn to overcome the pain of loss, or meditate.
   • Do you engage in passive aggression because someone asks you to do things you don't like? Now, when others ask you to do what they want, you agree, but reluctantly makes them angry. Making a promise as a form of passive aggression can have a negative impact and ruin all relationships.

2. 

   Wondering why you always want to be right. Insecurity manipulates a person's behavior and can lead to both anxiety and depression. Are you afraid of others thinking that you are uneducated, incompetent, or out of the ordinary when you show your weak side? Believing you are right when the truth is not will gradually make you more insecure.
   • Admit that you are wrong when that is the undeniable truth. You will realize that your actions are not the end. In fact, this can help you relax and begin to understand that stubbornness affects your thoughts, emotions, and relationships.

3. 

   Identify what you want to achieve out of being stubborn. Be aware that excessive stubbornness creates a barrier between you and others. Are you pushing others away? Do barriers make you feel safe? What is the price you pay? Did your actions produce positive results?
   • Is stubbornness against you? Do you want stability and attachment, but your actions push others away? The answer is: stubbornness doesn't do you any good.
   • Be honest with yourself and make a list of the things you want to achieve from your stubbornness. For example, does this make you more powerful than others, not mess with your life, or do you want to prove that no one can command you? It is not practical to expect these results. Getting to know your wrong thinking is essential to change.
   • Make a second list of things you can do to say no to your stubbornness and build your life as free as you would like.

4. 

   Seek help when you get stuck. Use up your courage and courage to ask for help. If you are having trouble controlling your stubbornness, you should turn to reliable sources for support. You can consult many sources of information through a psychologist or doctor. Talking to someone will help you cope and build an effective approach to solving the problem.
   • If you feel excessively isolated, see your doctor or a therapist. If you have just experienced a great loss, it is generally considered normal to be stubborn for a short period of time. However, this could be a sign that you are still hurting after a loss; Therefore, post-loss psychotherapy will help.
   • You can also try art therapy as it is an extremely effective method.
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Advice

• Respect the beliefs of others and yours.
• Take advice from others.
• Love others and allow them to love you.
• As you read articles about positive change, your chances of success will also widen.
• When you feel resistance starting to appear in you, stop and say, “I won't be stubborn anymore. I will open my heart to everything ".
• When you are afraid of losing something important, the more you will try to grasp those things so that they won't slip out of your hand. So, learn to let go.
• Courage in the face of contradiction because this part of your personality makes it difficult to live a fulfilling life.
• Realize that you are not always right.
• Listen and respect others, but still know how to protect yourself.
• Realize that there will come a time when you hurt others by opposing them with your rebellious behavior.
• Think about society, friends and family instead of just thinking about yourself.
• Stubbornness can be a result of selfishness. Find out if selfishness is the root of the problem.

Warning

• If your personality is a bit stubborn, then that is who you are. However, you can learn to take control so that doesn't turn out to be a hindrance.
• Stubbornness can take away your relationships, jobs, opportunities, and even your life if you refuse treatment when needed.
• Sorry it's never too late to get yourself out of a dangerous situation caused by your lack of weakness.
• You must know what your behavior has before you can change it. Your behavior affects others and it is your responsibility to treat them the way you would like to be treated.