Content

• Steps
• Advice
• Warning

Disciplining children is never easy. It is always easier to give your child more love because you love your baby. However, if you want your child to know right from wrong and have the right self-control and manners as an adult, you need to learn how to properly discipline your child, no matter how difficult it may be. If you want to learn how to practice discipline but still maintain a strong bond with your child and stay calm, follow these tips.

Steps

Part 1 of 2: Becoming a good discipline holder

1. 

   Be consistent. If you want your child to have good discipline, as a parent, you need to uphold your rules and expectations. If your child knows you can let go of their bad behavior when you're tired, distracted, or sometimes because you feel guilty for them, he won't know how to behave right all the time. While you may find it difficult to keep up with your expectations, especially after a long day, this is the only way to make sure your child values ​​and understands your instructions.
   • Once you have formed a system of discipline, you should stick to it. For example, if your child breaks a toy every time he or she breaks a toy, he or she has to help with the housework to buy a new toy, don't miss a time when your child broke a toy just because that day you feel guilty.
   • Be persistent even if you are in public. This is easier said than done, but if you don't normally let your kids go to McDonald's more than once a week, don't indulge your kids just because they get angry in public. Even though it may be embarrassing to endure the fuss in crowds, it is better to let your child realize that they will always get what they want if they cry in a crowded place.
   • If you are raising children with your spouse, you need to show consistency in front of the children and keep your punishment system up. Don't let one person play the “good guy” and the other play the “bad guy,” as your child may prefer a parent, and this could potentially cause problems in your relationship with the other. as well as with children.

2. 

   
   
   Please respect your child. Remember that no matter how young or angry you are, they are still a human being. If you want your child to respect your authority, then you need to respect your child for their own imperfections, needs and wants, and they always need love and respect from their parents. . Here's what you need to do:
   • If you are extremely angry at your child for a bad behavior, take a moment to calm down before saying anything. If you walk into the room and find that your child has poured a glass of soda on a brand-new white carpet, do not initiate discipline immediately, otherwise you may scream or say things you regret later. .
   • Don't call your baby bad names, as it will make your child lose confidence and feel worse. Instead of saying, "You're stupid!" then say "It's not a smart act, is it?"
   • Do your best to avoid any situation where you are misbehaving and then apologize for the behavior afterwards. If this is the case, apologize to them and tell them that you shouldn't have done so. If you apologize for your actions, your child will learn to do the same later.
   • Be a good role model. Behave the way you want your child to behave, otherwise you will confuse them with your bad actions.

3. 

   
   
   Please sympathize. Empathy is different from empathy. Empathy means that you can appreciate your child's difficulties, problems and feelings and consider why your child is acting like this. Empathy means that you feel pity for your child when he or she is sad because of the wrong behavior and wants to help them solve their problems. Some ways to empathize with your child are:
   • Talk to your child about his or her feelings. If your child spoils a favorite doll with an aggressive behavior, sit down and say that you understand they must be feeling sad for spoiling their favorite toy. Show your child that even if the behavior is inappropriate, you understand that he or she is upset.
   • Try to find out the reasons behind your child's misconduct. Your child plays with food at family meals probably because he feels bored because there is no one the same age to talk to, your child gets angry when he does not have the toys he wants, perhaps because he is sad when My father is always on business.

4. 

   
   
   Communicate your expectations. It is important to let your child know your views on the good and bad behavior and the consequences of the bad behavior. When your child is old enough to understand your requirements, you need to make it clear that if your child does this, the consequences will always be. Some ways to convey your expectations can be:
   • If you are trying a new method of discipline, explain it to your child before the bad behavior occurs so that they won't find it difficult to understand.
   • Spend time talking to your child about their good and bad behaviors. If your child is old enough, help them find out what behavior is appropriate or not suitable for your child and how you would like him to behave.
   • If your child is old enough, you can let them choose a reward for good behavior if the reward is appropriate.

5. 

   T shows authority but is not overbearing. A powerful parent has clear demands and punishments but still loves their children. These parents still make room for flexibility and discuss problems and solutions with their children. An authoritarian parent also has clear requirements and penalties, but doesn't give much love to their children and doesn't explain the reasons behind the behavior. This may cause the child to feel unloved or not understand the importance of certain principles.
   • You also need to avoid being an easy parent. This is the kind of parent allowing children to do whatever they want because they love them so much that they cannot refuse, they feel guilty for the child or think that the child will develop and form the following disciplinary system. this.
   • While being a permissive parent is very easy, it has the potential to have a negative impact on a child, especially as the child reaches adulthood or adolescence. When you become a teenager or an adult, but still think you always get what you want, your child may face the harsh realities of life.

6. 

   Consider your child's age and temperament. Every child is different, and you need to consider that when applying a certain punishment to them. As your child gets older, you also need to update your discipline system to suit the child's more mature age. On the other hand, you should avoid applying the same discipline to young children as for older and more knowledgeable children. Here's what you need to do:
   • If your child is naturally conversational and enjoys communicating with others, find a way to accommodate the behavior. While you might punish your child for talking too much, don't turn him into a timid and quiet kid if that's not his nature.
   • If your child is especially sensitive, don't encourage the behavior too much, but be aware that he or she will need more love.
   • If your child is between the ages of 0-2, you can eliminate the bad behaviors that are starting to start and say no when the child is not behaving properly. For young children, punishing the child to sit alone can be an effective way of letting the child know that he or she did not act.
   • If your child is 3-5 years old, he or she is old enough to be taught what bad behaviors to avoid before it happens. You can tell your child the right things to do. For example, you could say: “You shouldn't tell other kids on the playground, but be nice and sympathetic to them, then It's more fun. ”
   • Children 6-8 years old can understand the negative consequences of their behavior. Children will learn that if they drop something on the carpet, they will have to help the adults clean up.
   • Children aged 9-12 can learn from the inevitable consequences of their actions. For example, if a child does not complete a work summary ahead of time, he or she will suffer a low score.
   advertisement

Part 2 of 2: Use a variety of discipline methods

1. 

   Teach children about the inevitable consequences. Letting children understand the inevitable consequences of their bad behaviors is a great way to let children know their disappointment and understand that their bad behavior can make them feel sad and guilty. Instead of dealing with your children in certain situations, let them cope with their own negative behaviors. 6 years old is the lowest age for children to understand such inevitable consequences.
   • If your child breaks toys or damages toys by leaving them outside to let in sunlight, do not rush to buy new toys for them. Let your child cope with not having toys for a while and they will learn how to better preserve their belongings.
   • Teach children about responsibility. If your child doesn't complete homework because he is busy watching TV, let him learn the disappointment of getting poor grades instead of rushing to help him with his homework.
   • If your child is not invited to another friend's birthday party nearby because of his bad behavior, let him know that if he or she treats him differently, he is already invited.

2. 

   Teach your children about the right punishment. These are the penalties you decide to use when your child misbehaves. This punishment should be directly related to the behavior so that the child does not repeat it. Each type of bad behavior requires its own reasonable penalties, and these penalties need to be clearly understood and identified in advance. Below are a few examples:
   • If your child does not pick up toys, they will not be able to play them for a week.
   • If you catch your child watching something inappropriate on TV, they will lose the right to watch TV for a week.
   • If children do not respect their parents, they will not be able to play with their peers until they understand how to behave respectfully.

3. 

   Use positive discipline strategies with your children. Positive discipline is a form of working with children to reach a positive conclusion, which is to help children understand their bad behavior and avoid future negative behaviors. To apply positive discipline towards your child, discuss the bad behavior with your child and decide how to deal with it together.
   • If a child loses his baseball bat because he was inattentive, talk to them about the reason it happened. Next, ask your child what if they don't have a cane, what they will do and how to play. Children can borrow your cane to play with until they buy a new one. Let your child recognize the consequences of their bad behavior and work with you to find solutions together.
   • For positive discipline, sitting alone is considered a form of making children feel embarrassed and angry, but not enough for children to be aware of their bad behavior or have a determination to change. that behavior. With this method, children are no longer punished for sitting in a corner but in a comfortable place, filled with pillows or their favorite toys until they are ready to discuss their behavior. This method teaches children a very important life skill: learn to control their emotions and take time to reflect on the problem instead of acting without thinking.

4. 

   Set up a reward system for your child. You also need to put in place a reward system to create positive incentives for your child's positive behavior. Don't forget that reinforcing good behaviors is just as important as discipline for bad behavior. When you show your child the correct manners, they will know what not to do.
   • A reward can be a simple treat when the child does what is right. If your child knows that he or she will be able to eat ice cream after eating a healthy meal, it will be easier for them to cooperate.
   • You and your child can decide together about a reward at an appropriate time. If your child wants a new toy, you can say that your child must be obedient and respectful of his parents for the past month to buy a new toy.
   • Don't use rewards to "trick" children into behaving properly. Children need to understand that it is good to act, not to be kind to get a toy.
   • Praise your children often when they are behaving well. Children should not just listen to comments about bad behavior.

5. 

   Avoid lectures or threats. Not only are these methods ineffective, but they also make your child resentful or disinterested in you. These words and actions also hurt children physically as well as mentally. Here are the reasons why this method is not recommended:
   • Children often tend not to pay attention to the lectures if they cannot see the meaning. If you “go to class” about your child not to lose a toy while buying a new toy for your child, he or she will understand that your words are not important.
   • If you threaten your child about things that won't happen, like saying they will never watch TV without cleaning the room, they will understand that your words are not really valuable.
   • Hit the child's butt before the age of 10 is a good method because it helps guide the child in the right direction and makes them remember to be a disciplined child. It may be difficult to do at first, but over time you will find that you have to use this method less often because your child is more mature and responsible. However, after 10 years of age, detention or taking things away from children for a period of time is more effective. This action will help children see they are older and do not need physical punishment to know the correct manners.

6. 

   Be comfortable with yourself. While it's important to be a role model and find the right discipline for your child, don't forget that no one is perfect and you can't always be a model parent. . No matter how hard you try, there will always be times when you wish you had behaved differently, and that's completely acceptable.
   • If you've done something that you regret, apologize to your children and let them understand the reason for your action.
   • If you are going through a week of emotional hardship, rely on your spouse if you have one and ask him / her to take care of the discipline until you feel better.
   advertisement

Advice

• If you have more than one child, never compare them, as this can lower their self-esteem and make them feel like they are worthless.
• Everyone needs many learning opportunities, and everyone needs a fresh start, especially children. Don't increase punishment for repeated weekly behaviors by a young child but only punish behaviors that are repeated on the same day. Because young children do not have the same mindset of memory as older children or adults.
• To encourage older children to change their behavior, write down the problem, discuss and guide them to develop their own correcting plan. Make sure the plan is measurable and add penalties for failure and rewards for success.
• For young children, the amount of time spent sitting alone relative to their age is a good standard. If you punish your child for longer than that time, they will feel abandoned, lonely and possibly distrustful of you.
• If you fail to uphold your discipline system or ignore your child's bad behavior because you think your child is too young to understand, then it will be much more difficult to try to minimize the bad behavior in future.
• Don't spoil your child with rewards for good behavior. You just need to reward your baby every now and then, but too much reward will cause your child to repeat the same gesture when he or she has children in the future.
• Stick to your set strategy no matter how angry you may be at any given time.When you're angry, you won't be able to think clearly and it can take up to an hour for your hormones to return to normal. That's why you need to make these decisions while you are calm.
• No matter how smart your child is, remember that you are dealing with a child. Do not psychologically analyze and do not make children consider the problem as adults. Talk to your children about the rules and the consequences that happen when you break them, and persevere in applying them. This will help the world around the child be fair, safe and predictable.
• Do not "bribe" good behavior as this can become imperative every time a child does a good thing. Of course, rewarding a child a couple of times after the child did a good deed is not considered a bribe.

Warning

• Know when to seek disciplinary help for your child. If your child constantly shows disrespect and disobey you, especially if he constantly displays aggressive or violent acts, seek a professional to find ways to remedy this behavior.
• Don't punish your child by hurting his body seriously. Although gentle butt beats are not recommended, it makes a big difference when you hit your baby with full force and cause a lot of pain for your baby.
• Children may have special needs, so you absolutely should avoid yelling at them under any circumstances. That can only make children feel bad and scared.