Author:
John Stephens
Date Of Creation:
28 January 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
You can be overwhelmed when you fall in love with someone. Learning how to not love someone takes persistence and persistence, especially when you feel like you can't control your emotions. Perhaps you are trying to resist your feelings for someone or try to stay away from love in general. You can try avoiding the person you are attracted to and closing your feelings for that person so you don't get overwhelmed by your emotions. You can also focus on your own needs and preferences as a way to distance yourself from someone you may be fond of.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Avoid people you are attracted to
Keep your distance from the other person. One way that you won't be overwhelmed by your emotions is to keep as much of a safe distance from the other person as possible. This means staying away from the person in social situations like hanging out with friends or co-workers. Or you can avoid the person when you're in the same place, like school or work. Keep some distance from them so you won't be tempted to interact with them, as this can deepen your feelings for them.
- For example, you can avoid attending the same meetings or hanging out with the other person, especially if you know they're coming. You can plan to avoid seeing the person so you don't have to be close to them.
- You also might not befriend the person on social media so you won't be tempted to see their profile or activity. This way, you won't get caught up in tracking their activity on Facebook, Instagram or Tumblr.
Set clear boundaries for yourself when you are with the person. If you end up being around the person, make clear boundaries so you won't be overwhelmed by your emotions. You should probably avoid touching, cuddling, or sitting near the person while they are around you. You can stand a good distance from them with closed body language so you don't look like you're being too friendly or welcoming. This could be a signal to them that you are not emotionally interested.- For example, you can maintain closed body language around the person by crossing your arms across your chest and not making eye contact when talking to them.
Don't accept romantic gestures or gifts from the person. Maybe the person will give you a gift to show their affection for you or show concern for you. Do not accept or encourage these behaviors. Accepting gifts or gestures of kindness from the person may encourage them to pursue you, something you wouldn't want if you were trying to avoid them.- For example, you can politely say “No thanks” and decline a gift they are trying to give you. Or you can say, "No, I can do it myself!" or "Thanks, but I'll take care of it" if they try to help you.
Method 2 of 3: Close up your feelings for the other person
Make a list of the person's negative traits. Cutting off your feelings for the other person can be another way you don't fall for them. Try to control your emotions so that you don't feel overwhelmed or in control around the other person. Make a list of their bad traits. Read it over and over so that those characteristics make you feel discouraged or distant from the other person. This will keep you from falling in love with them.- Be honest and think of any kind of annoying personality that might lead to trouble if you two get together. For example, you might write about the person: "career focused, quiet and introverted, hard to talk to in a large group of people."
Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Psychologist specializing in love and relationshipDon't forget the reasons why you need to distance yourself from the person. Marriage and love psychologist Dr Sarah Schewitz says: "If you are trying not to love someone there must be a reason, so keep reminding yourself of the reason. there.For example, if the person is dating someone else, you might tell yourself that it's unethical to date a married person. Do whatever it takes to make you forget that person by having fun and doing things that make you feel happy. "
Determine why you and the other person don't get along. You should also think about why you and the person are not suitable partners. Maybe you should make a list of their bad qualities and then write down why those qualities are important to you and the other person isn't for you. Maybe you should also write down some concrete examples when you and the person don't really get along or understand each other. Focusing on your incompatible features can help you end your feelings for the other person and see them as just a friend.
- For example, you might write: "We don't match because the person wants to focus on his career and I prefer to travel" or "We won't end up with good results because the person wants to be okay. I plan to stay in one place and I plan to move around often. ”
Focus on the friendship aspects of your relationship. If you already have a close friendship with the other person, you might want to try focusing on your friendship instead of love. Perhaps, you and the other person are very interested in being friends. Remind yourself that pursuing the other person can lead to hurt feelings and ruin your friendship. You may then conclude that it is better to maintain a friendship with the other person than to be in love.
- For example, you could sit down and write down all the good times you spent as friends. You can then consider whether it is worthwhile for you to risk changing your meaningful and fulfilling friendship with the other person into romance.
Method 3 of 3: Focus on your needs and preferences
Distract yourself with an interest or activity. You can avoid feeling for someone by making time for your own needs and preferences instead of for them or thoughts about them. Distract yourself from affection by dedicating all your energy to something you love. Or you can start an activity that takes a lot of time and effort that leaves you almost no time to think about your feelings for someone.
- For example, maybe you should devote your energy to a hobby like drawing, writing, playing an instrument, or singing. You could also start doing an activity like a sport or join a team at school to fill your time.
Talk to friends and relatives. Although you may want to keep those feelings to yourself, you can try talking to a few people close to you about your feelings. Tell your best friend how hard you are to avoid falling for someone. You can talk to a family member about your opposing feelings. Often times, talking to someone who is willing to listen to your emotions will help you feel less lonely and confused.
- You may also want to seek advice from a friend or family member about your situation. They will also be able to give you some advice or suggestions on what to do to avoid falling in love with the person.
- For example, you could say to a friend, “I have feelings for someone but I don't want to. What should I do? " Or you can say to a family member, “I think I'm in love with someone but I don't think it's a good thing. Do you have any advice for me? "
Consider talking to the other person about how you are feeling. If your feelings for the other person become too overwhelming and undeniable, you may want to consider telling them about your feelings. While the conversation can be awkward, being honest about your feelings and telling the person can help you feel better. It can also help open the door to the opportunity that the person may feel the same way.
- If you decide to talk to the person about your feelings, ask the person if you can talk to them personally in private. Then you can tell them, “I think my feelings for you are growing. I tried to deny these feelings but maybe I better be honest with you about what I'm feeling.
