Content

• Steps

Everyone loves to be loved and cherished, but the line between caring and possessive behavior is thin. If you feel as though your boyfriend has become possessive, you should tackle the issue as soon as possible. While possessive behavior often stems from low self-esteem, your possessive spouse will vent these feelings on you. Having a boyfriend that you like to have can make it harder to give your own opinions and feelings and make you feel bad about having an independent life. He will prevent you from meeting your friends and, over time, try to take control of your life. If you don't stop it, this behavior will escalate; But there are a few strategies you can take to deal with an possessive boyfriend.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: Adjusting the relationship with a possessive boyfriend

1. 

   
   
   Show your feelings. Your boyfriend probably won't know that he's behaving in a way that makes you feel possessed. Maybe this is his first love, or maybe his ex has a completely different personality from yours. Or he is going through some life event that makes him want to be closer to you than you want. Talking about your needs and wants in this relationship will always be a good place to start.
   • Try to start with an example: “When I keep calling you while I'm hanging out with girls, I feel like you don't trust me” or “You make me feel uncomfortable when you Don't talk to me after I go out with some friends ”.
   • Provide a concrete example of a time when you felt that the person was showing possessiveness: “I was very sad when we went to the football show and I didn't talk to me after I was with some classmates. playing the horseshoe throw ”.
   • Avoid calling him a bad name, for example, don't call him "the possessor". Instead, say that you feel your ex's behavior is becoming too possessive and you can suffocate. Calling each other by bad names will make you both end up arguing, but expressing your feelings won't leave you in this situation.

2. 

   
   
   Discuss behaviors that you feel you cannot accept. This should be discussed clearly and privately, during a time when you can openly talk about the kind of actions you cannot tolerate in a relationship. They have to revolve around issues that you are not willing to compromise on. Here are a few examples of behaviors that make it difficult to accept:
   • Ask you to stop meeting friends, especially men, for no good reason.
   • Command you on what kind of clothes you should wear, criticize you when he feels your clothes are "not right".
   • Keep calling or texting you when you're not around.
   • Examine your phone, email or personal belongings.
   • Ask you to explain each of your actions for the day.
   • Makes you feel guilty for having to change your plan for good reason.
   • Give him an ultimatum or intimidate you if you don't spend enough time with him.

3. 

   
   
   Explain your needs in the relationship. Your ex may not fully understand your unique needs in the relationship, so it is important that you communicate with him. This will help you reduce your ex's possessive behavior.
   • Explain the need to have an independent life. Let your boyfriend know that even though you enjoy spending time with him, you still want to have some time to meet your friends and family. Having a private life that does not revolve around the person you love is a very important part of a healthy relationship. Encourage him to also meet friends or family without you.
   • Talk about your desire to be trusted. Similar to your beliefs in him, he should also trust you. This is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
   • Negotiate a few rules about your relationship: for example, you both need to be allowed to own and spend time with friends of the opposite sex; however, absolute honesty and loyalty, as well as monogamy are required.

4. 

   Discuss your commitment to the relationship. Possessive behavior often stems from low self-esteem and insecurity. If your boyfriend's possessive attitude isn't too heavy, you can remind him that you are completely devoted to the relationship and that he doesn't need to worry about your intentions.
   • Verbal assertion is a pretty powerful way to calm the person down. A simple "I love you and only love you" statement will do wonders.

5. 

   Allow him to participate in your plans of meeting friends. Usually, the possessiveness of the person you love often comes from jealousy as well as feelings of insecurity. Allowing him to participate in some group activities with your friends will help him feel more comfortable about your independent life without him around.
   • In particular, introducing male friends to your boyfriend can be quite helpful. He may not feel comfortable with the opposite sex you meet. However, this is not a reason to stop spending time with them; Instead, invite the person to meet friends with you so he can see that he doesn't need to worry about your relationship.

6. 

   Allow time to heal. After you have discussed the negative feelings you experience in the relationship, your feelings will rise. This is a good time to get away from each other for a while and look back at what you discussed, before getting back together and trying to build a happier and healthier relationship than before.
   • Know that progress can take time. Your boyfriend won't be able to change overnight. You need to be willing to spend time and effort to help him change his possessive behavior.
   • Don't be afraid to point out when your significant other is repeating past possessive behavior. Should not let him "escape". Instead, let him know about the action right away and explain how it feels to you.
   • Encourage him when he is loving but not possessive. When the person you love behaves in a respectful way, let him know. This will make him want to do them more often.

7. 

   Be realistic in assessing whether your relationship is worth fixing. If your boyfriend wants to change his behavior and is willing to respect your emotions and listen to your wishes and needs in the relationship, give yourself a chance to stay in the relationship. However, if you feel frustrated, scared, anxious, or frightened, you should end it.
   • You need to remember that no matter how much you want him to change, you can't do it yourself. He needs to be someone who is willing to initiate the process and follow it closely so that he can change his behavior.
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Method 2 of 2: Freeing yourself from your current situation

1. 

   Get ready to break up with your possessive boyfriend. If his possessive behavior increases, or has reached a worrying level, understand that you cannot change him (at least without expert guidance). His desire to control your partner may be part of his personality, but don't put up with it. It's time to break up.
   • Make a plan to state what you want to say. Remember that your point of view is important and you deserve to be heard. Don't let the person blame you back - remember that you are the one who wants the end of the relationship to end, and that you are doing it for good and good reason.

2. 

   Follow up the breakup plan. Breaking up is not easy, and it will be even more difficult if you are the one who is controlled in a possessive relationship.
   • Choose a time and place to break up with the person you love. While it is best to break up in person, the boyfriend you like to possess may be overly or violent.
     • A crowded public place is the safest place to break up if you're worried about your boyfriend's possible reaction.
   • Share your intention to break up with your ex with a trusted friend or relative. Ask that person to help you stick to this intention.
   • Ask him to allow you to speak. You need to be able to tell the person you love everything you want to say without being interrupted. As long as you do it in a controlled and polite way, he will listen.
   • Should not linger. After you've said what you need to say, and give him a chance to respond, you should move elsewhere. Allow some time to settle down before you contact the person.

3. 

   Be prepared to accept the backlash. If your boyfriend shows an possessive attitude during the dating process, he will likely continue the behavior when the two of you break up. Being prepared for this can help you cope when it occurs.
   • Watch out for your attempts to make you feel guilty to get back to him. This process can take the form of the saying "Do you remember when we went for a walk on the beach together at sunset?" or in the form of a more serious threat (such as a threat to end his life). It's important to realize that this is just emotional manipulation - don't tolerate it!
     • If your ex is threatening to harm yourself or someone else, you should report it to someone immediately. Call 112 if you believe he or someone else is in danger.
   • Determined to fulfill your intentions. Regardless of how your ex is reacting, know that you made a wise decision to end this unhealthy relationship.

4. 

   Seek support from family and friends. Ask friends and family for help or support whenever you need it. They will help you reaffirm the correctness of your ex-boyfriend's choices to end the relationship, or remind you of some disturbing behaviors from your ex.
   • Reconnecting with someone you lost while in a relationship with an possessive boyfriend can be helpful in helping you get through the breakup.

5. 

   Seek expert help if needed. Ending a possessive relationship can be challenging. However, the fear of being alone is not adequate enough for you to remain in a relationship with someone you feel that he is controlling you. Counselors can help you deal with your negative emotions and the pain of breaking up.
   • Talking about your relationship is a healthy way to deal with the fact that your partner's behavior is completely wrong.

6. 

   Allow yourself time to recover. Whether it's good or bad, breaking up is never easy. Make time for yourself before starting a new love. When you're ready, here are a few things you should do to move forward after you end a relationship with a possessive boyfriend:
   • Looking back at the ups and downs in a past relationship. It's important to be aware of good and bad times. The time you spend in this relationship is not at all wasted; instead, it has a purpose: it helps you to understand what you do NOT want your partner to have.
   • Learn to recognize early signs of an possessive boyfriend. In the future, you will become more familiar with the behavior of jealousy and possessiveness. You will be more alert to the person you are going to date.
   • Remember to love yourself. If your relationship has taken away your self-esteem, confidence, or the love you have for yourself, try to get them back. Spending time with friends, pursuing a new hobby, or finding solace in a space you love is a good way to reconnect with your soul.
   • Entering a new relationship with care and caution. Apply the lessons you learned from your past relationships to build happier and healthier feelings with others as the time matures.
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