Author:
John Stephens
Date Of Creation:
22 January 2021
Update Date:
29 June 2024
Content
Being reluctant to be the center of attention is not a pleasant experience, especially if you've done something to embarrass yourself. Even being around someone who is feeling awkward can be quite uncomfortable. You will feel hot, sweaty, or curl up in the fetal position. Fortunately, there are better ways you can deal with shame. Remember, showing embarrassment after making a mistake can actually make you appear more sincere and trustworthy. So, no matter how awkward it is, shame is not an act of evil, but it serves important social functions.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Reacting to Shame
Sorry when applicable. If you feel embarrassed by something you did to someone, apologize to them and be completely honest with your apology. This means you don't have to ramble. Let the person know that you really feel sorry for what you did, but did not go overboard.- For example, if you call the person wrong, you could say something like: "I'm really sorry, lately I've been worried about my friend Xuan; I must be thinking. about her too much ".
Laugh minus. You can reduce your embarrassment by laughing at yourself. This embarrassing moment can be quite humorous if it's quite carefree. If you allow yourself to laugh out loud at an embarrassing situation, it loses the power to influence you.- To laugh minus, turn the situation into a joke. For example, if you spill mustard on your shirt and you feel ashamed of the situation, you might say "now all I need is a giant hot dog".
Quickly get over it. Humans often don't focus attention for too long. You don't have to drag on embarrassing moments. You can subtly change the subject to redirect the focus to something else.Avoid apologizing too much if you do something embarrassing that requires you to apologize.- Changing the subject without making the situation awkward can be difficult: the best way to do this depends entirely on the specific circumstances you're facing. For example, if you feel ashamed of something you do while planning a movie with others. To change the subject, you can ask questions such as "I thought you saw the movie? How do you think the movie? Is it worth watching again?". This will make people stop paying attention to your embarrassing situation and shift their focus to something more appropriate.
Minimize crashes. Remind people that anyone does things that embarrass them sometimes and that this shouldn't be a big deal.
- For example, let's say you slip and fall in front of everyone. You can remind everyone that this accident usually happens to quite a few people while keeping things light by saying, "One more person must be dusted".
Redirects talk about other people's shame in the past. If you've done something embarrassing, a good way to deal with this situation is to consult with others about a situation that has caused them shame in the past. You can get closer to the person you're talking to by getting loud laughter at your embarrassing moments.
- If you use this method after encountering an embarrassing event, you could say something like: "Well, now you're thinking about embarrassment, lately you've done it. Any shameful thing? ".
Breath. Your heart may be beating fast, you may feel a burning sensation, or discomfort. Taking one shameful act can cause all of these negative emotions. You can ease them, as well as your embarrassment, by taking a deep breath.
- Inhale the air into your nose for 5 seconds, then exhale through your mouth for 5 seconds.
Part 2 of 3: Addressing Your Thoughts and Feelings
Separate yourself from your feelings. If you're having trouble coping with embarrassing moments, you can distance yourself from your feelings. This method is especially helpful when you encounter a mess of emotions that keep you from thinking critically.
- You can distance yourself from your emotions by thinking about yourself from a third-person perspective (for example, he shouldn't feel awkward because anyone has faced it. an act of shame, so this is actually quite normal).
Distract yourself. Give yourself time to let go of the embarrassing action you did. There are a number of ways you can distract yourself. You can:
- Watch movie
- Reading books
- Gaming
- Go out with friends
- Volunteer to participate in charity programs
Direct your attention to the present. Shameful actions have happened in the past. It happened before the present era. That moment has passed. Though easier said than done, especially in times when you're feeling awkward, try to focus your attention in the present or future moment when dealing with shame - you may feel less annoyed by something that happened.
Separate yourself from the situation. If you feel really embarrassed, see if you can appropriately separate yourself from the situation. You could say that you need to go to the toilet or take an important phone call. This method can give you some time to calm down after an incident that has embarrassed you.
Talk to your therapist. If you think you are easily embarrassed or are often anxious about social contact, or if you feel that you are more embarrassed than necessary, it is better to see a doctor. therapy. Your doctor can help you change the way you think or react to situations that make you feel ashamed. Your doctor can also give you medicine to help reduce any social anxiety you are experiencing. To find a therapist, you can:
- Type in Google the phrase "therapist + city name where you live or postal code (zip code)".
- Use this link to find a therapist in your area: http://danhba.bacsi.com
Part 3 of 3: Reacting to Others' Shame
Sympathize with them. Remember, every once in a while, any of us will experience embarrassing moments. It's not really fun to have a moment of shame yourself, so don't act in a way that makes the person feel worse.
- In order to be empathetic, make sure to base your judgment on the person's point of view. Think about your feelings if you were the one facing the situation. Visualize how the person feels in the present moment.
- You can also remind the person of a time when the same happened to you or to someone you know to normalize the situation.
- For example, if the person ruined the last round of an important basketball match and is feeling extremely embarrassed about the matter, you can tell him / her about the moment as well. happened to you. If you have never encountered the same person in the past, you can share with that person the same thing you did. Chances are you went to the wrong gym and missed your sports game entirely. You can tell the person how you feel. This not only distracts you, but also tells them that any of us have had a moment of embarrassment.
Change theme. If the person knows well that you saw their embarrassing moment, you can acknowledge it but then quickly change the subject. Express your urgency and feel like you want to ask them something but you forget. This will make the conversation look like it's going naturally, rather than look like you're working on a scheme to help the person feel less shy. You want the person to completely stop thinking about the embarrassing moment, rather than make them wonder if you are deliberately changing the subject to avoid the awkward situation, and this may make them feel bad. feel more awkward.
- As you change the subject, you can add excitement to your voice. Remember that you want the person to think that you are finally remembering what you want to ask. For example, you might ask if the person knows anything about a big deal on the news - even better if it has to do with the person's privacy.
Don't tease the person. They are really ashamed, you shouldn't add fuel to the fire by exaggerating the situation by joking around about it. While humor is a great way to alleviate embarrassment, it's best to use it when you're the one who did something embarrassing. If you tease someone who is feeling awkward, you will only make yourself look like a bad guy.
Pretend you don't know what happened. This method will depend on the reliability of the situation. If the two of you are looking at each other while the other is acting embarrassing, you won't be able to use this measure. However, if the person doesn't really notice you when they do something embarrassing, you can pretend that your actions are making you feel embarrassed as well. If the person seems shy, apologize and say that you were distracted from having to check your phone, but now you're ready to continue the conversation.
- If your partner looks embarrassed, your lie will look more believable if you admit that they look confused. Let them know that you notice how different they are. Ask the person if everything is okay or if something happened. Anyway, this is what you will do if you really don't know what's going on but you notice that the other person looks confused right after.
