Content

• Steps

When you care about someone, you don't want to see him behave in a way that harms himself or others. Unfortunately, smoking has both effects. Your help can make it easier for him to let go of this bad habit. However, you cannot force someone to quit smoking, but the decision to do so is entirely up to him.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Support properly

1. 

   Don't give out statistics. Your boyfriend knows smoking is bad for him and may also want to quit. So it's not really helpful to give facts about illness, longevity, etc. Actually, telling someone not to smoke just makes them smoke more.
   • Instead, focus on how people behave and the role drug addiction plays.
   • Point out smoking rates are steadily declining over the past few decades, and many have successfully quit.
   • Since many people smoke just to feel social, knowing the behavior is increasingly uncommon will encourage them to quit.
   • Show that smoking means addiction can help your boyfriend see he has no control over his life. Smoking will no longer be appealing and he will try to quit for more self-control.

2. 

   
   
   Understand that everyone is not the same. That means there isn't one method for everyone, but each has different levels and types of support. Talk to your boyfriend about what kind of help he needs.
   • Your boyfriend may indirectly indicate he wants to talk about quitting. Focus on the topics he covers - doctor's advice, a pregnant family member, someone who quit - to start the conversation.

3. 

   
   
   If that doesn't happen, find a way to gently start the topic. Maybe your local smoking or tobacco tax laws are changing. Ask your boyfriend what he thinks about this, then move on to asking him about his habits.
   • Friend: This morning I read the newspaper and said that the city is banning smoking in the restaurant.
   • Him: Good idea. He doesn't like tobacco-smelling food.
   • Friend: I was surprised to see you say that. If you don't smoke for such a long time, can you tolerate it?
   • Him: Yes, in fact, I'm trying to reduce my smoking.
   • You: Really? How can I help you?

4. 

   
   
   Try the nudge method. It can be difficult to find the right balance between encouraging your boyfriend to quit smoking and behaving the way he saw when he gave up his choice. Lawyers and economists argue that the nudge approach can encourage change while letting people decide for themselves.
   • The nudge method works like this: ask your boyfriend to open a savings account and put the money that was supposed to be used to buy cigarettes in it. (A jar on the counter is fine.)
   • At the end of each predetermination, ask if he smokes. If not, he gets the money. If it does, the money will go to charity.
   • Some variations of this approach include a charity request because your boyfriend is not supporting!
   • If he has a friend who is also trying to quit smoking (or if you're trying to quit), they could make it into a competition. Those who don't smoke longer will get money, those who give up first will have to do charity work for the organization that the winner chooses.

5. 

   Advocate for a network of supporters. If your boyfriend agrees, talk to your friends and family members about his plan, and encourage them to help. Remind your boyfriend that the doctor is part of that support network as well, and ask if he wants to see a doctor to talk about smoking cessation.

6. 

   Think before you ask. Some smokers want you to ask about quitting every day to increase motivation, while others find such habit as invasive and counterproductive. Ask your boyfriend if it's helpful or bad for him.

7. 

   Ask open-ended questions. Let your boyfriend talk about his experience - why he started smoking, how it made him feel, why he wanted to quit, what made it difficult to quit, Etc. This will help you better understand his relationship with cigarettes, and may help him gain more connection that has never been done before.
   • You: Why do you smoke?
   • Guy: Because at school, the kids are older than you.
   • You: What about now? No wonder the kids are older than you here.
   • Guy: I think it's probably a habit.
   • Friend: Do you think you will smoke forever?
   • Him: No, but quitting smoking is difficult.
   • You: You can do it! Do you want me to plan for me?

8. 

   Point out small advances. For a smoker, even a single non-smoking day is worth the compliment. Find out and use that as evidence that your boyfriend can live without a cigarette. Such small advances will help to increase his confidence.

9. 

   
   
   Focus on people in general. Don't let the quitting process become all you have in your relationship. Even if he wants you to ask about his situation, ask about his date and general feelings. Don't just hang around with whether you smoke today or not. advertisement

Method 2 of 4: Focus on the long term

1. 

   
   
   Make a plan, but be ready to adjust it. Plan a day to quit smoking motivating and keeping your boyfriend focused on that goal, but don't be too rigid. If he is planning a date to quit smoking, make sure he understands that even if he doesn't quit on that day altogether, he is not a failure.

2. 

   
   
   Pay attention to the transient state of your symptoms when you quit smoking. Many people experience things like insomnia, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, restlessness, irritability, and depression. These symptoms usually go away within a week or two. By reminding your boyfriend that it is a temporary symptom, you will help him believe he will make it through.

3. 

   Understand that quitting smoking is a learning curve. Many people take several times to quit. If your boyfriend relapses, encourage him to learn from the experience so that next time he can avoid the cause of the smoking again. Smoking is an act of learning, and so is quitting.

4. 

   Talk about when, not if. Relapse can be depressing, so explain to your boyfriend that it's only a matter of time before he tries again - and before he succeeds. In fact, most people who quit smoking soon relapse. advertisement

Method 3 of 4: Provide distractions

1. 

   Provide food. People smoke for many reasons, one of which is to ease sadness. Your boyfriend needs an alternative job for smoking. Consider storing the following in your surroundings:
   • Hard candies to suck
   • Straws for chewing
   • Chopped fruits and vegetables

2. 

   Spend time together. See quitting smoking as an excuse to participate in more activities together. Make dinner together, go to the movies, or visit a museum - anything that helps your boyfriend forget about quitting.

3. 

   Do exercise. One of the activities you do together is definitely physical activity.Exercise can reduce many problems during quitting smoking, including:
   • Worry
   • Depression
   • Irritable
   • Weight gain
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Method 4 of 4: Protect your health and space

1. 

   Don't think you are offended. People who are trying to quit smoking will often get irritated. Understand that your boyfriend's attitude isn't for you. However, you have the right to warn of rude or bad behavior and move away if your irritability is overused.

2. 

   Make sure your home and car are smoke-free spaces. This is especially important if you live together. If your boyfriend makes you a passive smoker, you are both at risk of serious health problems. What's more, people who don't smoke at home are more likely to quit smoking.
   • Don't leave lighters or ashtray at home, they just remind him of what he wants to avoid.

3. 

   Avoid places where there will be smoke. This not only further protects your health, but also helps your boyfriend avoid smoking by eliminating an environment at risk of re-smoking.

4. 

   Know your limits. How important is it to you that your boyfriend quit smoking? Although there are things you can do to help him quit smoking, you need to think about what to do if he doesn't care.
   • Think about whether his smoking overwhelms all of his other good qualities. Almost everyone has major shortcomings, some experts believe that having unacceptable bad characteristics makes it difficult to live a happy life.
   • The exception here is a major moral and mental defect. Smoking does not belong to this group, but it can affect a healthy, long-term life. If exchanging your boyfriend for a health problem leaves you too distressed in the future, your relationship may cost too much for smoking.
   • If smoking is an unacceptable bad point, he must be aware of it. It wouldn't be fair to give an ultimatum he didn't know anything about. Tell him you can't live with the same drug addict, but you trust he can quit and want to help him do this.
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