Content

• Steps

Saying goodbye to someone you no longer like gently can be psychologically difficult. However, if you want the “old man” to be unhurt, here are a few steps you can take. Consider effective communication strategies, avoid the potential risks associated with breakups, and end the conversation in an attitude that enables both parties to move on on their own.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Effective Communication

1. 

   Choose the right time and place. If you want to make your farewell easier, time and place are important. If you want to end your relationship in sympathy, consider a suitable place and time to talk to your ex.
   • With these difficult conversations, meeting to talk is best. Humans evolved more than animals to understand the nonverbal cues or cues that could make one feel reassured during conversation. A pat on the shoulder can reassure someone that he (or she) is still lovable, even if the relationship may not continue. The sad look on your face can help your ex see that you care about their feelings, even if you think you have to end the relationship.
   • If possible, choose a place where the important person feels comfortable talking. For example you can go to his (or her) house. Being there may not be very convenient for you, but it gives the other person a slight sense of authority and will help them accept the bad news.
   • If you expect the conversation to last, try to choose a time so that the conversation will not be interrupted by external factors. For example, don't say goodbye to a boyfriend you know one hour before he has to go to work. Instead, go over to his house after a weekday dinner. That way, it is possible to handle everything that remains.

2. 

   
   
   Take responsibility. If you want to gently say goodbye to someone, you need to take full responsibility for your decision. Often people feel more comfortable when their partner initiates a breakup. However, it is you who have fallen out of love and it is your responsibility to initiate this conversation. Trying to use vague cues to make the other person realize that you want to end the relationship is dishonest, and it can also be confusing. The other person may not understand what you mean and will start wondering about yourself as you quietly leave.
   • For example, the less you cuddle to show your boyfriend (or girlfriend) that you don't like the other person anymore, then it makes the person question their own attractiveness. If you want to break up with someone smoothly, you need to take full responsibility for your decision.

3. 

   
   
   Be open and straightforward about how you feel. When you leave someone, it's best to be honest. While it is not necessary to state the full reasons for your breakup, it is important to be honest about what you wanted. Make it clear that you want to end the relationship and briefly explain to your partner why.
   • Most breakups are shortened to a basic sentence, "I'm not the person you're looking for." Such expression is absolutely correct. It makes your listeners feel the end when they understand your arguments. You can also say softly, “I'm sorry, but I don't love you anymore. Now I need something different, and I think we should break up ”. If the relationship is not very deep, you could say more succinctly, for example, “I'm sorry, but I don't find our feelings very warm. I think we should be better friends ”.
   • Honesty is important, but shouldn't be ruthless. It's not a good idea to judge the other person's past mistakes or analyze the current potential hazards. For example, if you leave your partner because you no longer find him attractive, it's best not to say it. If you are still angry at the quarrels over, you may want to vent all of it, but the other person will suffer when hearing your words. If you want to leave someone nicely, you should say goodbye in general, not going into excess details about the person's mistakes or flaws.

4. 

   
   
   Briefly. Again, be honest and direct. You cannot make people comfortable by going around in the three kingdoms without getting to the point. Let's start the conversation with a straightforward statement, like, "I want to talk to you because I don't see our relationship going anywhere." And then keep the conversation short.
   • Leaving a person can be difficult, but it's important to stay calm and collected so that you can organize your words to be concise. Excessive emotions will make the story become rambling, incoherent and confusing what you want to say. Try to take the time to prepare for the conversation by visualizing what you will say in your head.
   • You can write down what you intend to say. While memorizing speech is not the best option as it may seem cold, organizing your ideas will help keep you focused. Practice speaking a few times before you face off.

5. 

   Offer to be friends, if possible. Giving some comfort at the end of a relationship can help ease the other person's grief. If possible, ask your ex to become friends. Say something like, "I hope we are still friends." However, keep in mind that many people struggle to be friends, especially right after the breakup. If you are not sure you can maintain a friendship, don't offer it. advertisement

Part 2 of 4: Avoid Potential Hazards

1. 

   Do not say empty sentences. When wanting to break up lightly, it's important to avoid anything that might make your ex look condescending or offensive. Stereotypes like "It's my fault, not me" sound insincere. Instead, speak frankly and avoid clichéd language. Speaking from your own experience is the best way to break up smoothly.

2. 

   Don't blame. When you choose to break up, you may still be angry. This can help urge you to accuse your ex, especially if he or she has hurt you. However, if you want to make it easier to leave your crush then blaming is not a good idea.
   • Avoiding any negative problems is one of the best ways to calm someone down. Recalling past anger or mistakes can trigger a quarrel, making a breakup cloudy and frustrating.
   • If you suspect that your partner might not be comfortable with the breakup, remember that he or she might blame you. Avoid getting caught up in that negative conversation. If people try to put it together, answer something like, "I am very sad that you thought so, but that is not the reason why I changed my mind."

3. 

   Avoid social media as it can have disastrous consequences. Social media can be "poison" to a love that has just ended. If you want to break up quietly, avoid posting this online, even if you think the other person cannot access your account, as any account can be compromised. Although many people find that social media makes them angry when they break up, remember that your ex can be emotionally hurt by what you post on the internet. It's also a good idea to stop following the person's social media sites. During a breakup, you need to create some distance between the two of you to help you both continue on their own path. Cutting off some of your social media contacts can help. advertisement

Part 3 of 4: Continue Step Forward

1. 

   Focus on good times. You can help your ex and yourself by focusing on the positives. Towards the end of the conversation, try to focus on the interests of both sides.
   • Emphasize all the good things your ex did for you. How does the person feel at the end of the conversation that the relationship is worthwhile even though he cannot continue. Say something like, “You made me feel confident and made me a kinder, more sympathetic person. I've always been grateful for that. "
   • Arouses gratitude. Accepting reality can take time, but encourage the other person to remember the time you spent together. Relationships are social exchanges, and people naturally tend to seek their own gain. Your ex will be grateful to you for helping him (her) see good things even if the relationship ends.

2. 

   Be frank about reducing your exposure. As mentioned above, being open to a friendship is fine, but you don't want the other person to misunderstand. Be frank with the type of exposure you want. For example, if you need some space before making a friendship, say it. Don't try to make friend-sense meetings too soon, as it will confuse you and your ex. You need time and space before you meet again as friends.

3. 

   Polite after breaking up. Chances are you will happen to meet your ex again later. Be sincere and friendly every time you meet. You should be mentally prepared. Remember that you may suddenly meet your ex while going to work, school or somewhere. This will help you stay calm and collected every time you meet.

4. 

   Don't think your ex is your true love. When in love, many people believe that they have found true love. However, you should stop thinking that way after you break up. There are actually tons of other people that might be suitable for you. You will find someone in the future, no matter how you feel right now. Accept the fact that love has ended for a reason, and you will find someone else later. advertisement

Part 4 of 4: Should I Leave Him?

1. 

   Are you sure you want to end the relationship? If the answer is no, don't cut everything off. You need to consider this as "disruption". Don't easily leave someone as an excuse to "have more choice." Whether you broke up or not, playing with someone else's feelings is not kind and fair.
   • If you hope that you can make the person leave you, then don't try to do so but gently break up with them. You cannot expect them to do it for you - you have to finish it all yourself.
   • If he (she) doesn't understand your implications, or if your gentle demeanor doesn't work, be sure to stop.

2. 

   Do you want to completely cut off all contact or just return to friendship? The purpose when breaking up with someone is very important. If you don't want to see your ex again, end the relationship decisively and properly. If you just want to slow things down a bit, it's more appropriate to break up lightly.
   • The gentle way of breaking up can make the other person understand that there comes a time when you want to "reconnect". If you don't want to, end quickly.
   • If you are gentle out of concern for your safety, then cut it off quickly. You don't have to try to be gentle. If you are concerned about the other person's reaction, go with a close friend.
   • If there have been disagreements recently between the two of you and you just want some space, break up with your crush gently, and you can return to being friends when things settle down.

3. 

   Has your relationship been pausing or has seriously broken? Every romantic relationship has its ups and downs, and when people are sad it's easy to forget the happy moments. If you try to leave her because you stumble on a rock, ask yourself if you don't like her or your condition.
   • Don't be in a hurry to decide. Wait 2-3 weeks to see if your feelings change.
   • Many people like the "gentle breakup" style because it allows you to change your mind later. But if you keep changing your mind, you may be in a lull, not a relationship crisis.
   • If a kind of conflict continues to repeat itself every day, then you should consider ending "once and for all."

4. 

   Is a quick and tidy breakup better for everyone? While your gentle intention to break up is benevolent because you still care about the other person's feelings, ask yourself if the prolonged breakup will yield better results? Sometimes you just need to get rid of all the things that are entangled quickly. If you know that your ex has “invested” too much affection for you and doesn't want to give up, you won't be able to be gentle no matter what you do. Don't let this drag on unnecessarily.
   • If he seems aloof, and you don't feel like it, you should take the initiative to break up with him in a nice and decent manner.

5. 

   What can you do instead of gently breaking up? If you find this unfair, or the best way to end the relationship, consider other options:
   • Cut off a cheating or abusive relationship.
   • End the friendship.
   • Farewell.
   • Resume the relationship.
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