Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 6: Take immediate action to stop self-harm
• Part 2 of 6: Understand what causes you self-harm
• Part 3 of 6: Breaking negative thought patterns
• Part 4 of 6: Teaching positive ways to deal with problems
• Part 5 of 6: Get professional help
• Part 6 of 6: Continue after you stop harming yourself
• Tips

In self-harm (also known as self-mutilation or self-harm), someone deliberately injures themselves in response to emotional problems or difficult situations. Self-harm may make you feel better at that point and manage the problem for a short time, but in the long run it will likely make you feel worse and even put yourself at risk. There is no single magical means to counteract self-harm. In addition, change is not easy and it is often easy to fall back into old behavioral patterns. Recovery can take time, so you may experience relapses. When that happens, it is important that you are nice to yourself and that you do not blame yourself for such a relapse. The very fact that you have started the recovery process is very important.

To step

Part 1 of 6: Take immediate action to stop self-harm

1. Have people around you. If you feel the urge to hurt yourself, go somewhere where you have people around you. You can do that by simply going into the living room to be with the rest of the family or with your roommates. Or you can go to a public place, such as a cafe or a park. Whatever you are doing and wherever you are, stop for a moment before mutilating yourself. Make sure you have people around you.
2. Call someone. If you are home alone or can't get out, call someone to talk to. You can call someone in your family, a friend you trust or an emergency number. Several emergency numbers are available that provide information to people dealing with self-harm. They can also suggest other sources of help.
   • A good help is compiling a list of phone numbers of people you can call.
   • Please include at least the following numbers in your list:
     • 0900-0113: 113 online is a helpline that provides 24-hour assistance to people who have suicidal thoughts or are otherwise struggling.
     • 030-2311473: This is the number of the National Self-Harm Foundation. You can go there on Wednesdays from 11:00 to 16:00.
     • 0900-0767: You can contact the Sensoor Telephone Help Service 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
   • You can even try talking to an inanimate object, to a pet, or to a photo or poster. These things offer you something to cast your vote against and will not judge you for the things you do.
3. Seek help if you think there is a chance that you will commit suicide. If you have suicidal thoughts, get help immediately. Call 0900-0113 (Online Suicide Prevention Foundation) or call the general emergency number (112). Watch for the following signs:
   • You talk about wanting to die or about suicide.
   • You look for ways to kill yourself.
   • You comment about the feeling that you have lost hope.
   • You talk about the fact that you no longer have a reason to live.
4. Draw on your body with a highlighter. If your thoughts keep revolving around the tendency to harm yourself, draw something on your body with a highlighter instead. Draw where you intended to harm yourself. Ink does not leave scars.
5. Distract yourself. Temptation is a way to avoid self-harm when you feel the urge to harm yourself or to stop self-harm once you figure out that you are hurting yourself. It's important to figure out what types of distractions work for you in each specific situation. The trigger or tendency may differ depending on your feelings or the situation, which means that the way you must respond to stop the self-harm also differs.
   • Paint your hair.
   • Make a cup of tea.
   • Count to 500 or 1000.
   • Work on a puzzle or mind game.
   • Go "people watch".
   • Play a musical instrument.
   • Watch television or a movie.
   • Paint your nails.
   • Tidy up something, such as your books, your wardrobe, etc.
   • Fold paper figures (origami) to keep your hands busy.
   • Exercise.
   • Take a walk.
   • Create your own dance routine.
   • Color or draw or do something creative.
6. Wait for it to ring. Delaying the self-harm when you feel the urge coming on is also a way to break the self-harm circle. To start, wait 10 minutes and see if the urge subsides. If you still feel the urge to harm yourself after that, wait another 10 minutes.
7. Remind yourself of what you can and cannot do. If you feel the urge to hurt yourself again, talk to yourself. Remind yourself of the choices you have.
   • Tell yourself you don't want scars.
   • Remember that you don't have to hurt yourself just because you think about harming yourself.
   • Keep telling yourself, "I don't deserve to be hurt," even if you don't actually believe it yourself.
   • Keep in mind that you always have the choice not to cut. It is up to you what you do in the end.
8. Get out of the house any tools that could injure yourself. Knives, lighters, or whatever you use - including the hidden things - should all be thrown away.
   • Simply throwing it in the trash may not be enough. Make sure you really can't reach them anymore and that you can't fish them out of the trash can. Give them to someone or destroy them permanently.
   • You can even hold a symbolic funeral for your wounding tool by burning it, throwing it away, or burying it. Say out loud: "I don't need you anymore."

Part 2 of 6: Understand what causes you self-harm

1. Understand the different types of self-harm. Self-harm comes in many different forms. Self-harm can range from physically injuring your own body (by cutting yourself) to putting yourself in risky or dangerous situations (such as driving under the influence of drugs), or neglecting your own needs (for example through your prescription medication. not to take).
   • Self-harm occurs with or without the intention of committing suicide.
   • In addition, self-harm can be a symptom of another condition such as depression, anxiety, or another mental health disorder.
2. Understand that self-harm is a form of addiction. Inflicting damage on your own body appears to be a form of behavior that is addictive. If you or someone else injures or otherwise damages yourself, your brain releases endorphins or chemicals that make you feel "good". It's hard to break the vicious cycle of self-harm, especially when you're trying to find an alternative that releases those same chemicals that make you feel good. You may have to take trial and error to find out what the solution or combination of solutions is that works for you.
3. Find out the reasons why you injure yourself. The reason you or someone you care about self-harm varies from person to person. Common reasons are, for example, that it gives you a sense of relief from certain intense feelings such as anger, guilt, fear, isolation, sadness, or hopelessness. It can also be seen as a way of expressing those feelings.Other reasons could be that it makes you feel in control of your body, especially if you or that other person feel like you have lost control. Some people injure themselves to feel something when they feel numb, and some reasons are in response to trauma or other problems such as anxiety or depression.
   • Determining what is causing you to harm yourself is one of the first steps you can take on your own to heal. If the underlying causes and causes are not addressed, the need to deal with them in one way or another will remain.

Part 3 of 6: Breaking negative thought patterns

1. Acknowledge your thoughts. To understand the thought patterns that lead to self-harm, you must first acknowledge your thoughts. Your thought process is a habit you have. In order to break the habit of having negative thoughts, you must become aware of those thoughts.
2. Keep a diary. Keeping a journal is a tool to help understand your causes and thought patterns. Writing down your feelings will help you identify patterns that lead to self-harm. In addition, a diary gives you an outlet to share your feelings and process your thoughts.
   • Write down when you tend to hurt yourself, or when you actually hurt yourself. Try to write down the situation, thought, feeling, or emotion you had while doing it. You may also have had certain physical feelings such as energy, stomach contraction, or other things you were going through at the time. Write down exactly what happened just before you started injuring yourself.
   • By keeping a journal, you can find out that you are going through certain situations that tend to harm yourself. Such situations could include things like: problems with classmates (including bullying or cyberbullying), pressure at school, feeling socially excluded, sexual confusion or problems within your family.
   • The purpose of keeping a journal is to become aware of your thoughts and not react passively to negative thoughts that lead you to do things to harm yourself.
3. Evaluate your train of thought. The next step in countering negative thinking is to evaluate your train of thought. Are your thoughts correct? Look at the thoughts you wrote down and find out what kind of similar situation you were in each time, whether you learned anything from it, and what the long-term consequences were. Have you reacted differently in certain situations?
   • Another way to evaluate negative thoughts is to look for words like "should", "should", or "should have". These types of sentences are usually negative and you use them to criticize yourself.
   • If you are not sure if your thoughts are correct, ask a close friend or someone in your family you trust.
4. Interrupt your negative thoughts. Another technique is to interrupt your negative thoughts. Imagine a traffic light or a sound that stops your thoughts. Your goal is to interrupt the negative thoughts and remind yourself of your thought patterns. Then you will feel that you have better control of your thought pattern and that you are more aware of your thoughts.
   • You can also stop your thoughts by doing something else physically. Go for a walk, talk to a friend, read a book or do a chore around the house.
5. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. If you have negative thoughts you have to counter them with positive statements. Read through your thought diary and write down alternative, positive statements.
   • For example, if you think, I always ruin dinner because I'm late, you can compensate that thought with something positive like: I'm someone who cares because I always bring flowers for the hostess.
6. Use cognitive behavioral therapy by registering on a worksheet. This type of worksheet takes you through a number of steps to identify negative thoughts and understand how to replace them with positive thoughts.
   • A thought register reminds you of questions you can ask yourself about your thought process, including describing the situation, determining what to respond to, looking at the situation through the eyes of an outsider, determining whether the statement or situation is true, and how to respond to that situation.
   • On the Internet, you can find many different models of cognitive behavioral therapy through registration worksheets, such as here and here.

Part 4 of 6: Teaching positive ways to deal with problems

1. Try to speak positively to yourself. You can speak positively to yourself by using your inner voice and the way you talk to yourself. The voice within you influences your motivation, your expectations for the future, your self-confidence and especially your well-being. Positive self-talk is a way of talking to yourself to help you gain confidence, live a healthier lifestyle, and dispel negative thoughts. Examples of positive self-talk are:
   • I am worth loving.
   • I am special.
   • I am confident.
   • I can achieve my goals.
   • I am beautiful.
   • By harming myself I don't solve my problems.
   • I can get over my anger, sadness, and fear without hurting myself.
   • I can now immediately confide in someone about my feelings.
   • I can seek support.
   • Remind yourself of these phrases using Post-it or other sticky notes or by sticking messages on your mirror.
   • If you find it difficult to believe in abstract phrases such as I am special or I am confident, you do not need to use them right away. Instead, use positive phrases that focus on the behavior you want to achieve. Such sentences can give you more specific direction, such as I can now immediately confide in someone about my feelings and By harming myself I am not solving my problems.
   • Positive self-talk should not be commanded by anyone else. You should use it when you feel it can help you.
2. Make a first aid kit that you can use if you feel the urge to injure yourself again. One such first aid kit is a box that you fill with tools that can help you suppress the tendency to harm yourself. These tools should help you remember what you have. Plus, they can help direct your energy toward something positive, such as doing something artistic. For example, your first aid kit may contain the following tools:
   • Photos of friends, girlfriends, family or pets
   • Your diary
   • Craft materials
   • Inspirational quotes
   • Music or lyrics
3. Talk to friends or family members you trust. You don't have to wait until you feel the need to talk. Share your ups and downs with your best friends and the family members closest to you. Surround yourself with their support. If you feel the urge to hurt yourself, it's best to tell someone that you feel that way.
   • It is not easy to express our feelings and sometimes it is easier to express our feelings of sadness, anger, or loneliness in the form of self-harm. However, for long-term success it is important that the underlying problem is addressed.
   • If you harm yourself, it can be embarrassing and difficult to talk about. You may be afraid that the other person will judge you or try to pressure you to talk about it. On the other hand, it is important that you share the things you worry about in your life with the people you care about. They want to help you.
4. Write a message. If you have trouble verbally expressing what you are feeling, write a note or text message for a friend or family member. This can help you communicate your thoughts without having to speak them out.
5. Try the five senses technique as a way to calm yourself. Part of the recovery process is learning new skills that make it easier for your brain to release the chemicals that make you feel good when you injure yourself. Calming techniques are one way you can take care of yourself and focus on the here and now. The advantage of the five senses technique is that it provides you with a way to get into a mood that allows you to cope with painful or extreme feelings that lead to self-harm.
   • To start, sit in a comfortable position. You can sit cross-legged on the floor or in a chair with your feet resting flat on the floor.
   • Begin to become aware of your breathing. Concentrate on every part of your breath (inhale, hold, and exhale). You don't have to breathe in a specific way.
   • Then try to become aware of each of your five senses (seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and feeling).
   • Now try to focus on just one of your senses for about a minute at a time:
   • Hearing: What sounds do you hear around you? Concentrate on external noises (can you hear cars driving by, hear people talking, hear birds chirping?). Then focus on internal sounds (can you hear your own breathing or digestive organs?). While concentrating on what you heard, did you notice something that you had not noticed before?
   • Smell: What do you smell? Is there food near you? You may notice smells that you did not smell before, such as the smell of the paper in the books. Close your eyes. Sometimes that helps to reduce visual distractions and sharpen your other senses.
   • See: What do you see? It is easy to see the sofa or the table. Now pay attention to details such as colors, patterns, shapes and textures.
   • Tasting: What do you taste? Even if you have no food in your mouth, you can taste. Try to taste the aftertaste of what you ate or drank just before. Run your tongue over your teeth and the inside of your cheeks to make you more aware of any flavors.
   • Feel: What can you feel while sitting exactly as you are sitting? Notice how your skin feels against your clothes, how you sit in your chair, and how your feet feel on the floor. Feel the texture of your clothes or your chair.
6. Try it with meditate or pray. It has been found that meditation can improve your positive feelings, as well as your satisfaction, health, and happiness. In addition, meditation reduces anxiety, stress and depression. There are many different types of meditation, but meditation always aims to calm your thoughts. The example below is a simple form of meditation designed to help you on your way to calming your thoughts.
   • Sit in a comfortable position.
   • Pick a single point to focus on. This could be something visual such as a candle flame, a sound such as a word or prayer that you repeat over and over, or something physical such as counting the beads of a rosary. Keep your attention on that one point.
   • As you concentrate, your mind will wander. As you find your mind wandering, let your mind go and then try to focus on that one point again. This may sound easy, but focusing your thoughts on something can still be quite a challenge. Don't be disappointed if you don't manage to focus on a particular point for more than a few minutes at first.
7. Try it with breathing exercises. Breathing is a natural response that we cannot control. Research has shown that practicing breathing has a positive effect on the way we respond to stress and can determine our choice of "fight or flight". You can evoke the same response to stress when you feel the urge to injure yourself. Learning this skill can help us control the factors that cause us to harm ourselves. Try this breathing exercise:
   • Count to five as you inhale, hold your breath for five seconds, then take five seconds to exhale.
   • As you count, pay attention to every part of your breath.
   • Another way to watch your breathing is to use an uninflated balloon. Blow up the balloon and then watch the air blow out again.
8. Use your visual imagination to imagine a safe place in your imagination. Imagination means that you form a picture in your mind. This image should be peaceful or remind you of a good time. Sometimes it is easier to print an image. Then you can focus on that.
9. Try progressive muscle relaxation. Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR for short) is a skill that helps you deal with difficult feelings by tightening and relaxing different muscle groups. Progressive muscle relaxation ensures, among other things, that you become more aware of the physical feelings in your body.
   • Sit in a comfortable position from which you can easily focus on different muscle groups. Most people find it easiest to sit or lie down here at first.
   • Focus on a group of muscles that you can contract and then relax. Muscle groups that qualify for this include your face, your hands and arms, your stomach and the middle part of your body, and your legs and / or feet.
   • To start with your face, imagine eating a lemon. Feel the tension in your lips, your cheeks, your jaw, your forehead, and your eyes as you bite into a lemon. Your face is wrinkled all around your nose, your eyes close and your lips contract. Then focus on relaxing all those muscles. Perhaps it will help if you think about eating something sweet and how your face relaxes and calms down while eating something tasty.
   • To work your shoulders and back, imagine that you are a cat. Think about how a cat arches its back and stretches its legs. Imitate a cat with your body. Roll your shoulders up to your ears and arch your back. You can even get on your hands and knees and form a real arch with your back. Then relax and return to your normal sitting position.
   • To do this with the middle part of your body, it is probably easiest to lie on your back. Imagine there is a heavy ball on your stomach. Then take a deep breath and relax those muscles.
   • Stretch and relax your feet. You can do this anywhere, even with your shoes on. Curl your toes. Then stretch your toes out as far as you can. Relax your toes.
10. Take a walk while practicing mindfulness. Taking a mindful walk is mindfulness in motion. The advantages of a mindful walk are, for example, that you learn to become more aware in daily life. In addition, sitting still and meditating in the "traditional" way can be difficult for some people. Walking is a more active form of meditation. In addition, walking can provide additional health benefits.
    • While walking, pay attention to every step you take. How do your feet feel on the ground? How do your feet feel in your shoes? Watch your breath. Notice your surroundings. As the saying goes, It's the little things that do it.

Part 5 of 6: Get professional help

1. Seek help if there is a risk of it suicide. If you or someone else have suicidal thoughts, get help immediately. Call 0900-0113 or call the general emergency number (112). Some signs to watch out for if you're concerned about someone you care about include:
   • He or she talks about dying or about wanting to commit suicide.
   • He or she looks for ways to commit suicide.
   • He or she regularly notices that he or she has lost hope.
   • He or she says he or she no longer sees the usefulness of life.
2. Seek professional help. A psychologist or mentor can help you better understand difficult emotions and get over trauma. Such a person is trained and has the experience necessary to help you overcome problems that affect your behavior.
   • Ask your doctor to refer you to a psychologist or counselor who specializes in self-harm. If you have a hard time being honest with a close friend or with someone in your family, you may find it liberating to share your feelings with someone you don't know.
   • If you are dealing with really difficult situations in your life, such as abuse, abuse, or some other traumatic experience, or your feelings are so overwhelming that they lead you to cut or damage yourself, then the most productive place for you is to talk about those feelings in a safe, neutral environment where no one is judging you.
3. Find a self-help group. There may be a self-help group in your area. Such a group can help you recognize, articulate, and deal with the feelings associated with self-harm.
   • Visit this website for a list of settings by region, and see here for information about self-harm and suggestions on how to seek help.
4. Talk to your doctor about any other issues. Sometimes people who self-injure also deal with other psychological problems such as depression, addiction to narcotics, eating disorders, schizophrenia or personality disorders. If you feel that you may have another disorder that is contributing to your tendency to self-harm, tell your doctor or psychologist.
5. Be honest. Be honest with the therapist about what you are feeling or what is going on. Don't forget that he or she is there to help you.If you're not fair, you may not get the treatment you really need. It is important that you tell the truth. Remember that therapy is confidential, so nothing you say to your therapist will not be repeated unless you plan to hurt yourself or someone else.

Part 6 of 6: Continue after you stop harming yourself

1. Celebrate the milestones. In addiction it is important that you take the time to celebrate what you have achieved. Every day that passes without hurting yourself should be celebrated as a victory. Celebrate the end of the first week by treating yourself or by going out with your friends.
   • Then increase the distance between the milestones by celebrating days first, then weeks, then months, and finally years. You may struggle with these thoughts at first, but celebrating your milestones can help you celebrate your efforts by looking forward and back.
2. Believe in yourself. Ultimately, you have it all in your own hands: If you think positively and believe in yourself, your addiction will become a vague memory that will leave you with a few scars. Once you stop harming yourself, you will be able to think much more clearly and honestly about the world and about yourself. Believe that others care about you and care about yourself. You can quit.
3. Understand that relapses are sometimes part of it. Sometimes you will start thinking about harming yourself again or indeed injuring yourself again. This is called a relapse. When this happens, don't get mad at yourself; everyone has a relapse at some point. Remember that self-harm is an addiction and relapses often occur during recovery. There will be times when you can't control yourself, but that just means you have to keep working hard at it. Just because you took one step back doesn't mean you have to take three steps forward right away.

Tips

• An example of a useful resource on the Internet is Nul251.info. On this site you will find information about the causes of self-harm, tips on what to do as a victim yourself, where to seek help, and suggestions for the friends or relatives of people dealing with self-harm.
• Consider getting a pet. People who self-injure are often encouraged to get at least one pet they can take care of, such as a dog, cat, bird or rodent in a cage. Taking responsibility for caring for another living being can have extremely beneficial therapeutic effects. Life is very valuable and you can help make something beautiful out of it.
• Wear bracelets. These can be bracelets that have a special meaning for you or bracelets with the logo of a certain band or something else that you like. The bracelets can help remind you why you are still fighting. In addition, the weight of the bracelets can reduce the tendency to injure yourself. It may take a while but eventually it works.