Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 3: Overcome an urge
• Method 2 of 3: Prevent the next episode
• Method 3 of 3: Get rid of the urge for good
• Tips
• Warnings

Self-harm happens when you feel so numb that you can't control your own emotions - it gives you the power to really feel something, and feel like you're really alive. You are in control of what happens to you more than anyone else has. However, you don't have to. There are many ways to quit. You're beautiful, and everything will be fine. With the help of these advice, you will powerfully overcome your problems.

To step

Method 1 of 3: Overcome an urge

1. Go somewhere you can't cut yourself. When you get home, lie down on the bed. Bring your phone, pen and paper, and nothing else. Think of this as a mature version of giving yourself time out. If you are not at home, sit outside somewhere. On a park bench, on a chair in a waiting room, wherever. Remember that this feeling will pass too.
   • It's all about distractions now. If you can make a call, do it. You don't have to tell the person on the line what is wrong with you, just talk to him / her. About whatever. They will guide you through this moment.
   • If you can't make a call, try to find something to focus on. This is why you just took a pen and paper, we will tell you later what they are for. Make sure you don't feel physically comfortable. Is the sun shining too brightly? Great, stay put. Is your ass going to sleep? Fantastic.
2. Talk out loud about what hurts you so much. Talk about it, even if it is in the privacy of your own bedroom. It will release tension, allow you to relax, and give you extra time to resist the urge to be tempted. Talk out loud, do this loud and clear, in no uncertain terms - this will make it easy to resolve your own situation. It should relax you and make it easier for you to catch your breath.
   • If writing down these feelings and thoughts seems safer and more helpful, then do so. Grab a pen, crayon, lipstick, or whatever. Bottling up makes everything (everything) only worse.
3. Try the butterfly method. If you feel the urge to cut yourself, draw a butterfly where you would like to cut yourself. Give the butterfly the same name as someone you love or someone who wants you to get better. If you cut, the butterfly will die. You have to wash the butterfly off again. If the butterfly wears out (and you haven't cut yourself) then this butterfly has been released into the wild. Congratulations - you made it.
   • Another idea is the pen method. Grab a red pen and draw lines (or squiggles, peace signs, or whatever) where you would otherwise cut yourself. When you're done, count the lines (or whatever). That way you can see how many scars you have appearance have. Awesome.
4. If possible, tell someone you trust about what's going on. This is one of the hardest things to do, but one of the most important. Building a solid support system can help you make the transition from cutting to recovery. Trust a family member, friend, or someone from your church community or similar.
   • Tell someone who can help improve your situation; not one to make it worse. For example, it is not wise to notify a co-cutter of your problem. You don't want to exchange ideas and methods, you want to focus on your recovery. Rather, choose someone you trust and respect, someone who seems capable of helping you improve.
   • Try to get over your feelings of shame, even if only for a moment. You just have to get the words out. When you find someone reliable, he / she will care about you enough to want to help you. He / she wants the best for you and will not try to make you feel worse.
   • Don't be discouraged if your confidant's first reaction is shock, fear, or disgust. Most people who never cut themselves cannot understand why you would do that to yourself. That doesn't mean they are unwilling to listen to you or show compassion.
   • Ask the people you tell about your cutting if they want to keep it a secret. Explain to them that it is nice for you to know that it stays between you. Tell them that this will make you feel like you are in control of your recovery.
   • Ask the person if you can talk to them if you feel the urge to hurt yourself. Having a counselor can act as a distraction if you want to cut yourself, and can ultimately ensure that your recovery is faster or faster. The request does not have to be that rigorous at all. Just ask something like "Could I call you if I want to hurt myself? Maybe we can talk about it, and it distracts me?" This is enough. Chances are that they would be more than happy to help you in this way.
5. If you don't think you can tell someone close to you about your cut, call a telephone helpline. The people who work at these helplines are trained to provide support, and provide you with alternatives to the self-harm. If you haven't gathered the courage to open up to someone close to you, these anonymous helplines can help. Get in the habit of contacting such agencies if you want to cut yourself:
   • Here are some phone numbers you can call:
     • The Depression Line: 0900-612 09 09.
     • De Kindertelefoon: 0800-0432
   • Correlation: 0900-1450
     • The Psychic Health Line: 0900-903 903 9
6. If you really need to hurt yourself, do it in a controlled and less harmful way. It's a good idea to put an elastic around your wrist. If you want to cut yourself, pull the elastic back and release it against your wrist. You can also cut your wrist with a red pen, or hold an ice cube to your wrist. Another way is to squeeze your fingertip hard for a while. While these will all hurt a bit, it is much milder, much less dangerous, and will not leave scars.
   • Another good option, especially for people who are allergic to latex, is to take a handful of ice cubes in your hand. Leave them in your hands for a few minutes, then let go. Shouting very loudly into a pillow can also sometimes help.
7. Know that you are loved. If you can't think of anyone who loves you, then you're just not looking in the right places. There is someone who loves you and doesn't want you to hurt yourself. There is good in the world. There are people who care about you.
   • You've probably ignored this habit with reasonable success. The only reason it might seem that people don't care is because they just don't know. If they knew, they would change. But before they can help you, you need to inform them of your situation.

Method 2 of 3: Prevent the next episode

1. Remove any items you used to injure yourself. If you have to spend time finding something that could hurt you, that time may be enough to crush the impulse. One minute can determine whether or not you are going to cut yourself. Do not place sharp objects on your table, and do not keep razor blades in your cupboard or drawers.
   • If you're not ready to throw out your tools, at least try to get them tucked away. Pack them tightly, and keep them in places where you cannot easily reach them. Distract yourself when you feel the urge coming on.
   • If possible, give your things to someone else. This way you make sure you can't find them. You will be quite pissed off at first, but when the impulse is gone then you will be grateful.
2. Keep rewarding yourself. Every cut-free day, draw something on a piece of paper and hang this sheet on the wall next to your bed. Every time you go to sleep you are reminded how strong you are. If you cut yourself, you have to start all over again; remove all the leaves you have hung, and start from scratch. Save all the papers so that you can also remember what tremendous progress you have made in the future.
   • A similar idea is to make a paper chain. After every day that you have not cut yourself, you can add a new link here. If you give in to the urge, then you have to start over. The chain will be a concrete reminder of how well you are doing - it will motivate you to keep going.
3. Talk to a professional. Obviously, it is not their responsibility to "talk" you off of the cutting. You make your own choices, and you must take responsibility for your actions. However, you can talk to your doctor or another professional, and this will certainly help you. They can tell you if you have symptoms of a particular condition or illness (depression, etc.) that may be the cause of your self-injury. They can also refer you to a clinic or support group.
   • You don't have to be ashamed of anything. Self-harm is much more common — if it wasn't, there wouldn't be any telephone helplines for that either. The professionals you talk to have gone through dozens of similar cases, of people who have gone through much the same as you - and they may have. You're not psychotic, you're not worthless, and you don't have to be ashamed of anything. This is part of life.
4. Learn to recognize when you want to cut yourself. The moment you want to cut yourself, stop immediately and think back to what happened. Remember, and try to avoid these situations. Sometimes they can be predicted, and if they can be predicted then they can be avoided.
   • Some people are more likely to cut themselves at a certain time of the day. If you know that, for example, you are more likely to cut yourself in the morning, be extra careful if you just got out of bed. Know yourself and know what to do to act on the following urge.
   • If you've just had a fight with someone, for example, and you get the urge to cut yourself, stop. Ask yourself why you want to cut yourself: "I want to hurt myself for hurting someone I love, and that makes me feel bad." Find out when certain situations evoke negative emotions: a certain feeling, or perhaps an act? Try to limit these situations until you have full control of your urge, or until it is completely reversed.
5. Stop the next episode before it starts. You haven't done all that work for free! As soon as you feel the urge to hurt yourself, take a deep breath. Fold your arms, close your eyes, and relax. Tell yourself you're not going to hurt yourself. Stay away from objects that could hurt yourself to make it easier to carry out your purpose. Lie down if you can. Stand / sit / lie down in this position until the urge has disappeared. Call an emergency service right after, or seek help in some other way.
   • Once you have overcome one, you will notice how easy it is to do it. If you managed to suppress one in the past, how did you do that? How good did you feel afterwards? Think back to that feeling. Relive it. You've earned it.
6. Imagine how you would act as a best friend. If a friend of yours wanted to hurt himself, what would you do to stop him / her from doing so? How would you distract him / her, what would you do to comfort and dissuade him / her? Apply these answers to yourself.

Method 3 of 3: Get rid of the urge for good

1. Recognize that you may need to seek professional help. If you have seriously injured yourself (this is if you have inflicted a wound on yourself that continued to bleed for more than 10 minutes, or if you intentionally severed large arteries or arteries) or had suicidal thoughts, then you should seek help immediately. You should never be ashamed to seek help regardless of your situation / age / gender / cultural background / etc. It's incredibly common, and it doesn't mean you're crazy.
   • If you are a minor, tell your parent (s) / guardian (s) that you require mental health care as soon as possible. Emphasize that it is an emergency.
   • As an adult you can contact your doctor as soon as possible and ask for a referral.
2. Know why you cut yourself. For self-injurers, there are generally 4 categories of reasons: cutting to express pain and intense emotions, cutting to calm and reassure yourself, cutting because you feel numb, and cutting to express anger. In which category do you fall? If you know that, you can tackle the problem immediately.
   • If you cut yourself to free yourself from intense emotions, take advantage of your creative side. Start writing, composing, painting, singing, or drawing. Listen to music that gets you going (the right way), start a journal, write down your negative emotions and tear them apart - whatever seems to work for you.
   • If you're cutting to unwind, start by relaxing. Take a bath, do yoga, take a hot shower, play with your cat, have a cup of hot chocolate, and wrap yourself in a nice warm blanket. Whatever it is, force yourself to take a deep breath in and out. Ahh.
   • If you're cutting yourself because you're feeling numb, call a friend. Or choose a new hobby, venture into strange environments. Try to expose your senses to as many new experiences as possible. Spicy food, chew a grapefruit, place an ice cube in the curve of your elbow, whatever.
   • If you're cutting to express anger, exercise, yell, or smash some pillows. Tear apart the sheets of paper you wrote negative things on and make a little noise. Try to scream and hit all of your frustration and anger.
3. Change your surroundings. It is quite possible that the situation you are in is not a chronic problem. While it may seem like it will take forever, it will pass when you no longer feel the need. How do you change your needs? Change your surroundings. Surround yourself with new people and new things - you will slowly but surely feel that you are becoming a different person. Another person who does not have to cut himself.
   • Become something. A writer, a musician, a gamer, a runner. Whatever. Find a passion. Try to do something that gives you a sense of identity, something you can spend time on, and something that keeps you busy. Experiment with new things. Audition for a play, take a new job, or join a club.
   • Surround yourself with positive people. Strangely, cutting (or the feelings that come with it) can be contagious. Do your best to be with people who bring out the best in you. People who won't make you want to cut yourself. If someone is triggering you, try to avoid them.
4. Volunteer or try to provide something else. If self-reflection doesn't make you feel better, try to turn your focus outward. Think about giving back to the community, or getting a pet. Volunteer at the retirement home or homeless shelter. Or donate your time to a family member or neighbor who needs help. This work will demand so much from you that you will not even be able to think about yourself.
   • You can also choose to focus your energy on something that depends on you for survival, such as an animal or a garden. These activities can make you feel productive and reliable, and can make you realize that you are there indeed matters.
5. Love yourself. If you hate yourself, chances are you want to hurt yourself when you feel bad. When you love someone, you don't want to hurt them. Now it comes: your opinion is the only thing that matters. Whatever other people think of you, it doesn't matter. There is only one person you have to live with, and that is you.
   • List the things you like about yourself. Also add compliments you have ever received from others. Check out this list if you're feeling a little sad or if you feel like you're worthless. Read the list out loud to yourself.
6. Stay positive. Remember: this is getting better. Recovery from any addiction or self-defeating behavior requires patience and persistence, but you can do it. Reward yourself for your progress, and don't let setbacks take you in - these are only temporary. As long as you move forward and keep recovering, then you are on the right track.
   • Use your knowledge and strength to help others. This is a common problem, and you may know someone who could use you as a mentor. Try to spot the same symptoms in others. Use the knowledge you have gained to help others with their problems.

Tips

• Draw yourself completely full. If you feel a strong urge, get a pen and describe the areas where you would otherwise cut yourself. Don't think about what you want to say, just write down the first thing that comes to your mind. Do this until the tendency has disappeared.
• Buy a "Wreck This Journal" from Keri Smith. It's good for depression, and keeps you busy when you're depressed.
• Grab an old shoebox and decorate it with items that mean something to you (family photos, hobbies, friends, etc.). Put the objects you use for cutting in this box. Before you put the lid on, make a list of 50-100 things you must try before meeting the urge to cut. Think of running, jogging, planting a flower, petting a cat, watching television for 20 minutes, reading 5 pages from a book, cleaning up a cupboard, writing a card to a friend, calling a friend, calling an uncle / aunt, etc. Undertake all of these demands before you can start cutting yourself. Place this frame on top of the cutting utensils, and put the lid on the box.
• Keep a journal and write down what happens when you want to cut yourself. Identify triggers (eg "Dad came home drunk again ..." and how this made you feel (eg "... and this made me feel powerless / angry because ...). if you've used one (eg "I went to a friend and talked about it.") You don't have to write dates if you don't want to.
• As difficult as it sounds, talk to your best friend about it. If you feel the urge to cut reappear, give them a call. Ask him / her to distract you. Sometimes the conversation alone is enough.
• If you are being bullied, remember that their words don't matter. When a friend you love and trust tells you that you are amazing and beautiful, believe them! If someone else is trying to hurt you, avoid them. He / she is not worth your time.
• Write the name of a loved one in the place where you would normally cut yourself. Let this remind you that there are people who care about you and all of whom you hurt when you cut yourself.
• Cut into a bar of soap instead of yourself. It provides distraction and keeps your body from scarring. Use a scented bar of soap. If you cut into this, you will smell calming aromas.
• There is a child within each of us — pure and innocent — who is completely at the mercy of your actions. Try to imagine your inner child as clearly as possible. You will feel a strong urge to protect him / her, and you will definitely not want to hurt the child.
• There are people who like you, even if they don't say so directly. Every time you cut yourself hurts them more than you hurt yourself.
• Grab a red pen every time you want to cut yourself. Use this pen instead of the object you wanted to cut yourself with.
• Carry photos of loved ones with you. Check these out if you are thinking of injuring yourself. Remind yourself that if you cut yourself, you hurt not only yourself but everyone in those photos.
• Take, for example, a piece of paper. Turn your pain into art, and cut the paper to look cool. This will help you understand that the skin is not intended to be cut. There are other materials for that.
• Simple and easy do not mean the same. Recovering from self-injury is easy, but it is not easy. It will take hard work and persistence from you, but you will succeed.
• Play video games. If you have a Wii, Playstation, Xbox, etc, boxing can free you from inner tension. It can help you resist the temptation to cut. If you don't have a console, play other games where you can get rid of your aggression.
• Draw / write things where you would normally cut yourself. This distracts you from what hurt / made you unhappy.
• Keep believing in yourself. You're a great person, and you don't deserve this. Stay strong and think about the people who love you. Don't think about people who bullied you.
• Don't listen to sad music that makes you feel down.
• If you are religious, it can help to pray a lot and promise God that you will stop. While it may sound like a promise you can't keep, it's one that has helped many people.
• Take a picture of yourself and print it out. Grab a lighter and burn your picture. You will burn the old you and start the new you.
• Talk to a teacher you really trust. He / she can listen to you, and can help you with your fight. Tell him / her what is bothering you and he / she will help you.
• Talk to a parent you trust. This is a difficult time, but many people who love you will help you. You must have the motivation to quit. Realize that something is wrong and you must do your best to fix it.
• Talk to your friends, friend, family, or professionals. It is always better to talk to someone.

Warnings

• If you cut yourself deep in the arms, you run the risk of damaging the tendons. This can potentially paralyze your hands.
• If you start to bleed profusely and you can't stop it, do not hesitate to seek immediate medical attention.
• Be careful with evasive techniques (such as with the rubber band or hitting something) as they can be addictive. You don't want it to complement your cutting.
• Self-injury can lead to infections and permanent scarring.
• Be careful when looking for online forums. Look for those who really want to help you. If at any time you feel uncomfortable on a forum, please contact the webmaster / moderator or leave the forum.
• Watch out for forums that encourage you to post pictures of your scars / injuries in exchange for encouragement or praise.
• If you have abusive parents / friends who may get angry when you tell them about your self-harm, it may be better to report to a hospital / clinic.
• Cutting is dangerous. Certainly if you cannot fully control your behavior, there is a chance that you accidentally hit an artery. This could even make you bleed to death.