Author:
Christy White
Date Of Creation:
12 May 2021
Update Date:
1 July 2024
Content
Love is difficult to define. Many poets, psychologists and ordinary people over the years have tried to describe the elusive feeling, but there is still no unambiguous definition. All the more complicated is the concept of unconditional love, which some argue is the only sincere form of love, while others see it as the impossible. Believing in unconditional love and being able to love someone unconditionally takes quite a bit of consideration, as well as action and trust. Only you can determine if and how to love someone unconditionally, but hopefully this article can help you with that.
To step
Part 1 of 2: Defining unconditional love
Consider what forms of love exist. The ancient Greeks were able to distinguish four different forms of love. Of these forms, the term agape comes closest to unconditional love. This love means that a person chooses to continue to love someone in any situation and despite any disappointments. - Unconditional love means that you love someone the way they are, no matter what they do or don't do. People with children are often best able to understand this.
- This form of love can also be learned and practiced. After all, unconditional love is a conscious choice.
- People with children often claim that love for their children is not a choice and that they felt unconditional love from the moment of birth. However, this initial sense of belonging is later replaced by the conscious choice to love the child unconditionally.
Realize that unconditional love is not "blind" love. Someone who has only recently fallen in love with someone often experience this feeling and only see someone's positive sides. - Blind love is usually temporary and must eventually merge into a realistic form of love that is more likely to succeed.
- To love someone unconditionally, you have to be aware of both the good and the bad sides of the person.
- "Unconditional love is not blind love, but the decision that nothing is more important than love." - Talidari
Consider whether romantic love can be unconditional. Some say no, because romantic love always has certain conditions. After all, there must be a partnership based on feelings, but also actions and expectations. That is, you can never love your partner in the same unconditional way as you love your child. - However, love is not the same as a relationship. After all, in relationships, both parties must love each other equally. Unconditional love would draw the relationship, increasing the likelihood of unilateral dominance.
- A relationship can break down because the partnership is not functioning properly, but nevertheless the unconditional love of one person for the other can remain. In some cases, it is unconditional love that prompts someone to end the relationship.
Unconditional love is an action rather than a feeling. Many people tend to see love as a feeling, but feelings are a reaction to something you "get" from someone else. So the necessary conditions are attached to feelings. - Unconditional love is the choice to make the other's well-being a priority. The feeling you get from loving actions is your reward, which you "get back" for your own actions.
- To love someone unconditionally means to act lovingly under any circumstance.
- If you have to do something or behave in a certain way to receive love, it means that there are conditions attached to that love. When you receive love freely, it is a sign that that love is unconditional.
Part 2 of 2: Giving unconditional love
Love yourself unconditionally. Unconditional love starts with you. After all, you know your own shortcomings like no other and probably better than you will ever know someone else's. It is therefore a good practice to be able to love yourself despite those shortcomings. In addition, if you can do this, you are more likely to be able to love someone else unconditionally. - Try to recognize your own imperfections and then accept and forgive them. Only when you can do this will you be able to do the same to someone else. If you feel that you do not deserve unconditional love yourself, you will probably never be able to give this form of love to another.
Make the loving choice. Always ask yourself, What is the most loving thing I can do for this person right now? Love is not a glove that fits every hand; what may be a loving act to one person may appear completely different to another. So think carefully about what could make someone happy. - Unconditional love is a decision you have to make over and over, not a rule that you can apply to everyone all the time.
- For example, if two friends have lost a loved one, it can help one friend offer comfort while the other prefers to be left alone for a while.
Forgive the people you love. Even if someone doesn't apologize, the loving choice for both yourself and that person is to let go of your anger. Remember the words of Pierro Ferrucci, who said that forgiveness is "not something you do, but something you are.’ - In various religious texts, the following phrase appears: "Hate sin, but love the sinner." Loving someone unconditionally does not mean that you just accept everything someone does; it means that in spite of someone's choices, you always do your best to deal lovingly with him or her.
- If someone you love says something hurtful in an argument, the loving choice is to let them know that their words hurt you, but then forgive them. This way you help someone grow as a person and at the same time let them know that they are loved.
- However, forgiving someone is not the same as letting someone walk all over you. If you are continuously being treated unfairly or someone is taking advantage of you, the loving choice for both parties may be to distance yourself from the person.
Don't expect to be able to protect someone you love from any inconvenience. When you really love someone, you want them to grow as a person, and discomfort can be a major trigger for growth. Unconditional love means that you do what you can to make someone happy. However, it also means that you help someone to develop, even if there is some discomfort involved. - Don't lie to protect someone you love. Rather, help them deal with uncomfortable or painful situations.
- For example, don't lie to your husband about your bad financial situation. This will only cause you more pain and distrust in the long run. Rather be earlier, understanding and willing to look for solutions together.
Love someone by caring less. Wait a minute, isn't love all about caring about someone? Yes, you want to "care" about someone in the sense that you want the best for someone. However, it is not wise to only care about someone when they behave in a certain way, as your love is bound by conditions. - So don't think, I don't care what you do, because I don't care if you're happy, but think, I don't care what you do, because I love you anyway.
- You don't love someone because they do things that make you happy; you become happy because you love someone unconditionally.
Accept yourself and the people you love as you are. No one is perfect, but everyone deserves to love and receive love. - Unconditional love is about accepting someone and not expecting someone else to make you happy. After all, you cannot influence the behavior of others, you can only make your own choices.
- Your brother may not always make the best choices, but that doesn't mean you should love him less. Simply love people as they are and don't attach any conditions to them.
Tips
- Try to do something loving for someone every day. Do this without expecting anything in return. Do it without telling anyone about it. For example, pray for your friends or family members who live far away. You can send an email, text message, or letter to someone you haven't interacted with in a while. Compliment someone. You can also simply smile at a passer-by. You can pet a dog or cat. Do little loving things every day. In this way your heart will grow larger and you will also be able to receive more and more love.
- Love means that you want others to be happy. Love is about giving, not about taking.
- You don't have to be perfect to love someone. You just have to be honest.
