Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Learn more about your grief
• Part 2 of 2: Leaving your grief behind
• Tips

Sadness often feels unbearable. Usually people do everything they can to keep it out of their lives. As a result, grief is never appreciated or expressed as a necessary emotion. In reality, grief is a valuable and natural response to difficult life events and loss. It indicates that something has been lost or that you need to make changes to address the issues that are causing stress. Don't try to avoid grief. It is better to accept grief and learn how to deal with it.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Learn more about your grief

1. Understand grief. Sadness is a natural response to loss, and that includes negative or unwanted outcomes. Loss can include many things, such as the death of a loved one or the loss of one's identity or possessions. Grief is a normal response to that loss.
   • For example, you may feel sad because a colleague quits her job because it may also make you miss her friendship. Another loss that can lead to grief is discovering that you have not been admitted to the university you applied for. This can be a sense of the loss of the future or a desired outcome.
2. Determine what your basic emotions are. Sadness may be nothing more than the root of the emotions you feel. The root of your emotions describes the underlying cause of other emotions you feel. A common example is someone who has an outburst of anger, but is actually dealing with grief. Other feelings can be blame, shame, jealousy, etc. Often times, these feelings are determined by the type of loss that led to your grief.
   • For example, you can blame someone for the loss. You may feel shame when you blame yourself. Although you feel sad, it is the blame or shame that is at the root of your emotions and that you will have to go through.
3. Distinguish between grief and depression. Sadness is not the same as depression, although it can be a symptom of depression. Since these two terms are often misused, it is important to understand the core differences between them. Following is a description of the terms and their symptoms:
   • Depression: This is not a normal response to a stressor like sadness and is not a normal reaction. The symptoms are more serious than grief and consist in part of complete loss of interest in activities that you would otherwise enjoy a lot, as well as irritation, agitation, decreased lust, difficulty concentrating, changes in your sleep patterns and fatigue all the time. to feel. Depression can last for months. Depression requires treatment, because if left untreated, this condition often gets worse.
   • Grief: This can last for hours, days, or months. It is a normal reaction to negative events, such as divorce, unemployment, or the loss of a loved one. It's okay to feel sad. The goal is to feel and acknowledge your grief, without getting stuck in it.
4. Understand the role of grief. Grief, coping with a death, is an intense aspect of loss. It lasts longer than grief and has an emotional and cognitive impact on daily functioning. Grief is a way to come to terms with a loss and adjust to a life without what you have lost. This is different for everyone and often happens for grief. After a loss, you can go through different stages, such as denial, isolation, anger, settlement, grief, or acceptance. People grieve in different ways, so accept that what you feel is a valid response.
   • Grief can be about things other than death. People may grieve for losing their jobs, belongings, a sense of their own identity or self, or a lost future.
5. Know the difference between grief and depression. While these can occur along with other symptoms (including poor mood, avoiding sad, and social contact), there are significant differences. Depression has an impact on a person's self-esteem and the sadness that accompanies it is incessant. When someone is grieving, they don't necessarily feel worthless or inadequate, and the associated grief fades over time. Grief does not increase the thought of suicide, it does not create serious sleep complaints, agitation does not increase, and there is no loss of energy, as are common complaints in depression. Grieving people are able to experience happiness (by thinking positively about the loss) while grieving, but someone who is depressed finds it difficult to feel happy.
   • Research has shown that people with clinical depression before a grieving experience are more likely to show depressive symptoms or more serious symptoms, up to a year after the loss. This does not mean that the person is experiencing a bout of depression, but that the experience is complicated by grieving.
6. Realize that there are benefits to grief. While grief makes it clear to us that you have lost something, it also helps to appreciate the good. Grief is also a coping mechanism so that you can receive support from those close to you, such as your family and friends. Remember that when someone is sad, family and friends often respond with encouragement. Sadness also helps you to re-evaluate your life goals or values, which can ultimately lead to greater enjoyment of life.
   • For example, if you have lost someone, you feel sad, but you also think about the nice moments you spent with that person.

Part 2 of 2: Leaving your grief behind

1. Accept your grief. Give yourself permission to be sad. Don't feel like you shouldn't "put on." This can lead to the avoidance of grief, which can take away from you other experiences, other emotions and opportunities. For example, if you're afraid of being sad, you might decide not to audition for a play or apply for a new job because you might not get it. Remember that grief serves a purpose, to remind you that something is no longer there, or that you will have to change something.
   • If you find it difficult to allow yourself to be sad, try the following exercise: write down or say out loud….
     • “I am sad when ………………………. and that's okay. ”
     • “I can be sad about …….”
2. Respect your own feelings. Don't trivialize your own feelings or accept someone else's doing that. Remind yourself to feel sad. Keep this in mind if someone's attempt to comfort you isn't very helpful, and is actually trying to downplay your feelings. Don't let someone else tell you how you feel.
   • For example, someone might try to bring out the positive of the situation by saying, "Now that you've lost your job, you have a lot of free time." Correct the other person kindly but politely. You can say something like, "I know you want to make me feel better, but that job was very important to me. I just need a moment to think about what I've lost now before continuing my time. to fill in."
3. Spend time with friends or people who understand your feelings. Call a friend or loved one to whom you can tell the sad story. Whether it's just listening to you or talking to you and distracting you, he or she may be able to help you. When you are with people you care about, they will try to make you happier. It's okay to tell your friend, colleague, or family member that you are sad and need time to be sad.
   • While people may have a hard time understanding your grief, it is likely that your loved ones will want to help get through it.
4. Express your grief. Free yourself from the emotions by letting them flow freely. Have you ever cried well, after which you felt much better? That's because crying is a physical outlet that allows you to go through different emotions. Research suggests that a stress hormone is released through the tears.Besides crying, there are other things you can do to let go of your grief. These include:
   • Listening to sad music: Research has shown that sad music helps when you feel sad. It puts you in touch with your own feelings and provides an outlet to help you process them. If you are not ready to process your feelings, music can provide a distraction until you are ready to process the sadness and give it a place.
   • Storytelling: If your grief is related to grief or loss, write a story or create a work of art focusing on something specific about the loved one. It helps to focus on the sensory details, including seeing, smelling, touching and tasting. Then focus on the feelings when you think about your loss.
5. Keep a diary. Begin each entry in the journal by writing down 3 words related to or expressing your feelings. End each note with 3 words describing what you are feeling. Keeping a diary in this case is more than simply writing down your feelings, thoughts and consciousness in an unstructured way. Make a plan to have a set time each day to update your journal. Set an alarm and write 5 minutes, 10 minutes, or 15 minutes every day (no longer than 15 minutes in a row).
   • If you've tried to let your emotions run wild, but you still feel sad, there may be a good reason for it. There may be a situation or inner conflict that you need to get through first. Keeping a journal is a good way to document and process issues.
   • Find a journal or a type of journal that suits you. You can use a physical diary, a digital version, or an annual calendar that allows you to track your progress over the course of a year.
6. Deal with your grief by keeping yourself organized. People all process and understand their feelings in different ways. If you feel emotionally overwhelmed, try to organize yourself. Write down a list of your feelings, memories, creative ideas, dreams, and anything else that can help you process your grief. Check things off the list at the end of each day. Take a few minutes to write down your experiences, focusing on hope, fun, success and happiness, with your decisions.
   • You can also process and control your emotions by making an action list, scheduling appointments, and planning the next day.
7. Surround yourself with positive experiences. If you are sad or overwhelmed by negative feelings, you may forget that there are positive emotions such as happy, relaxation, excitement, bliss, enthusiasm, etc. Take a moment to write down and remind yourself of a happy or relaxing reminder. Sometimes it doesn't take more than reminding yourself that you have had other feelings, too, to feel a little more positive again.
   • While you can focus on happier memories, you can also spend time in places that don't remind you of your grief. Watch a movie or have fun with friends. This can distract you from the grief and remind you that you can still enjoy things.

Tips

• It can be determined whether someone who suffers from depression meets the criteria for depression, such as the severity, duration of the complaints and the impact they have on social functioning. This can ensure that someone experiences more than “normal” grief and can be treated better.