Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Coping with the loss
• Part 2 of 3: Asking for support
• Part 3 of 3: Continue after death
• Tips
• Warnings

For many, the death of a grandparent means the loss of a very special family member who played a big part in their lives. If your grandmother passed away recently, you can feel a number of different emotions. Losing a loved one can be very confusing and scary. Your grandmother may even be the first person in your life to ever die, which can complicate your feelings. Death is a natural part of life and we all have to deal with it at some point or another. Learn how to cope with the loss, get support, and get on with your life after your grandmother passes away.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Coping with the loss

1. Feel your emotions. You'll go through the process much easier if you're not trying to fight or hold on to what you're feeling. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no time frame in which the grief ends. Try to open yourself up to the anger, sadness, confusion, or abandonment that comes over you. As time goes on, you should start to heal and feel better.
   • Some grandchildren find it more difficult to accept the death of a grandmother because of the duration and connection of the relationship, the cause of death, or the way other family members react. The adults should be sure that they are showing authentic grief and let any children or youth know that it is okay to cry or be sad.
2. Think about what you learned from knowing her. Take some time for yourself to understand your thoughts about your grandmother's death. Write them down in a journal if you think that helps. Think about the good memories and how your life was affected by her. Ask others to tell stories about her long and full life. This should give you comfort knowing that her time on Earth was filled with family, love, and interesting experiences.
3. Go to the memorial service. Attending the memorial service is a great way to come to terms with the loss from your grandmother's death and provide support for other family members.
   • If you are a minor, it is up to your parents and your age to determine whether you can attend the funeral or memorial service. If you feel like attending, share your thoughts with your parents.
   • They can then explain to you what will happen at the service and determine if you will be comfortable. They should know that attending the memorial can help you come to terms with your loss and celebrate your grandmother's life.
4. Make a keepsake box or book. It can be helpful to process your feelings about your grandmother's death while creating a keepsake box or book. Choose some of your favorite memories in the form of photos and keepsakes that you shared with your grandmother. Ideas for what to include in your box are endless - you can put in recipes, use favorite song lyrics, or collect short stories about her life. Decorate your box or book as you wish.
   • If you were not allowed to attend the memorial service because you are young, this can be a creative activity to conclude. However, even if you attended the memorial service, it can still be helpful to connect and talk to someone about your memories during this creative activity.
5. Understand death. Ask questions to gain insight into your grandmother's death. You could come to terms with knowing that your grandmother is no longer in pain after a long illness. Depending on your age, your ability to understand death will vary.
   • Young children, around the age of 5 or 6, often think in literal terms, so when they say "grandmother fell asleep," they may worry that the same thing will happen to them when they are asleep. Parents need to reassure children that they were not responsible for the death, as some children fear death has occurred because of something they did. For example, the child might think that grandmother died because he or she did not visit her often enough.
   • Older children and young people over the age of 9 can often understand the definitive nature of death and that everyone eventually dies.

Part 2 of 3: Asking for support

1. Spend time with your family. The grieving process only gets worse when you withdraw and isolate yourself from others. Think about the people who are still around and that they too have lost an important family member. Fight the desire to withdraw or appear strong and seek comfort from loved ones who are also grieving.
2. Turn to your faith. If you have any religious or spiritual beliefs, now is the time to look up those verses or quotes that remind you that things will soon get better. Participating in religious or spiritual ceremonies can further help you come to terms with your loss, connect with others, and offer you hope for the future.
   • Research has shown that because of the principles outlined about human life and the afterlife, people with strong spiritual beliefs are more likely to process their grief than those who do not.
   • If you are a non-believer, profane rituals, such as packing your grandmother's things or visiting her grave regularly, can help you process your grief and find comfort.
3. Join a support group. A grief counseling support group can help you and other family members come to terms with the loss. In the group you can listen to your own feelings and stories and share them with others who are also grieving. These support groups will provide you with tools to overcome the grief in the weeks and months after death.
   • Many communities have free support groups for those who are grieving. These can be held in a local church, hospital, or nursing home.
4. Go to a grief therapist. If you find yourself grieving the deceased deeply and unable to function in your daily life, you may need to seek professional help. A grief or death counselor can be effective in helping you come to terms with the loss of your grandmother and teaching you how to deal with it properly.
   • Grief counseling is especially helpful if you have long-term grief or if your grandmother's death was in some way particularly traumatic.

Part 3 of 3: Continue after death

1. Relive the memories. The best way to feel better after losing a loved one is to remember the good times you shared. The times you laughed, did crazy things together, whatever fond memories you have of the person who passed away. It can also be helpful to revisit your keepsake box or book over time so you don't forget all those great times you had with your grandmother.
2. Take care of yourself. When we mourn a loved one, we can easily neglect ourselves and spend the day lying in bed with a box of tissues. Try to get up and go outside to get some fresh air. Eat balanced meals regularly and exercise a few times a week. Self-care activities also involve nurturing your mind and body. Get a massage, take a relaxing bath with scented oils, meditate, write in your journal, or take a few hours to read a good book.
3. Provide support to other family members. If you focus on helping others, then you can move on and process your own grief on your own. Try to be there for your parents, brothers and sisters when you all go through this. One of your parents has lost his mother, which is a terrible loss to bear. Remind them that you love them and offer to do little things that bring them comfort, such as making tea or lighting the chimney.
4. Bring a part of her into your life. It can be gratifying to know that your grandmother lives on in your memories. You can keep celebrating her life by taking up an activity or hobby of hers and making it your own. Consider learning to sew if she was really good at it, or take the time to make some of her traditional family recipes while cooking or baking.
   • Suggest someone special in your life to do an activity that you used to enjoy doing with your grandmother, such as baking or crafting. That can be a way to celebrate her life as you move on.
   • You can also have fresh flowers around the house or light a candle every day to remember her.
5. Know that it is okay to smile again. You may feel guilty for having fun or laughing after your grandmother's death. You might think it's disrespectful of her memory of being happy. That is not true. Hopefully your grandmother has lived a nice and good life and would certainly want the same for you. The grieving process can feel very dark and gloomy; don't be afraid to let in a little light by having fun nights out with friends or playing board games with your family.

Tips

• If you don't feel like you can handle work and / or school right away, stay home. You may need time to grieve and recover, which is normal and even expected.
• Being sad and angry or disappointed is an important part of the healing process. Sadness is not a sign of weakness. It is the result of a strong relationship.
• If you are extremely sad, angry, or anxious, talk to an adult you trust about your feelings. Just talking about your feelings can make you feel much better, and the adult you rely on can comfort and help you.
• Close your eyes and bring yourself back to your best memories of her and if you're upset don't be afraid to cry in a pillow. Cry if you need to.

Warnings

• Be careful when telling a child that someone died because he or she was old. The child may become afraid of losing other "old" people and may have a distorted idea of ​​age.