Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Comfort her with words
• Part 2 of 2: Comforting her with physical touch
• Tips
• Warnings

When your girlfriend is sad and you want to comfort her, there are two things to keep in mind. She needs to get emotional support from the things you say to her. She should also feel supported by the physical support you provide her. If you properly combine the above, she will feel better in no time.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Comfort her with words

1. Ask her what's going on. Regardless of the opinion you have been given, keep it to yourself. Give her the opportunity to vent, nod your head now and then and come up with short responses if necessary. If she doesn't want to say what's going on, don't pressure her. Some girls don't like to talk about why they are sad. If so, just tell her you're there for her and then let her cry.
   • 'How do you feel?'
   • "Hey, have you been upset lately?"
   • "You seem to be bothered. Is there something going on?'
   • "I'm here to listen to you if you want to talk to someone."
2. Be supportive, not dismissive. It doesn't matter whether you agree or disagree with her. Show her that you are there for her. Take her aside for a moment and indicate that she is allowed to cry. Let her know you are on her side.
   • "I understand that you are feeling very bad at the moment. I find that very annoying. "
   • "I can't imagine how you feel. I know this is not easy for you. "
   • "I am very sorry that you are sad. Is there anything I can do for you that will make you feel better? "
3. Acknowledge the problem and briefly describe how you feel about it. Simply showing someone that you see and understand the problem will mean a lot to the person in question. Keep it short and sweet.
   • "I am very sorry to hear that your mother is ill."
   • "I know you deserved that promotion. I'm very sorry for you that it didn't work out. "
   • "She was a good friend, and I am also very sorry that she is moving."
4. Do not give advice. Most people are sad because there is no easy solution. So don't try to provide her with a solution. She has undoubtedly reviewed all possible solutions, and your advice will only make her think her problems are "hopeless". Instead of offering advice, you could say something along the lines of:
   • "This must be very difficult for you."
   • "I wish I had an answer or solution for you. Know that I will always be there for you no matter the situation. "
   • "What do you think will happen now?"
   • "How do you want to deal with this situation?"
5. Show understanding and acknowledge her emotions. This can be tricky, but as long as you let her take the lead, you can help her get her feelings under control. Let her talk about how she is feeling instead of talking about the situation or outcome by citing a personal experience. Describing the feelings offers her the opportunity to control them:
   • "I know you really wanted that job. I would also be very disappointed. "
   • "You have every right to be sad; I would have been that too. "
   • "I know you are angry and sad right now. I understand, and it is extremely annoying. "
6. Stay positive. This is very important. As you provide her with support, you should constantly remind her that things will get better. She'll consult you when she's looking for advice, so make sure you're not too negative. Provide the conversation with your positive energy and you will see that it will slowly but surely go along with it.
   • 'Open your heart. Be aware that no matter how terrible the feelings are, you will eventually leave them behind. "
   • Let's think back to the beautiful moments together. Do you remember when ... "
   • "This is very annoying at the moment, I know. But I'll be there for you until you feel better. "
7. Avoid minimizing her problems or speaking condescendingly to her. You need to realize that you are not there to magically fix everything, but that you are there to support her. Telling her to "don't take it too hard" or that you've "been through something similar" will make her feel like you're not taking her seriously.Things not to say are:
   • "You were too good for that job. It's not worth putting the time in. "Clearly, since she is sad, she thought it was worth putting the time in."
   • "I know exactly how you feel." Each person's problems are unique, so you don't know exactly how she feels, and she will be aware of this.
   • "You are very strong, you will be fine." Sometimes people need a moment when they are not that strong. Don't make her feel like she shouldn't be vulnerable unless she seems "weak."
   • "I know this is terrible. Have I ever told you about when I ... "It's not about problems you have had in the past right now, so don't try to change the subject.

Part 2 of 2: Comforting her with physical touch

1. Be patient while she tries to accommodate her feelings. However, this does not mean that you have to be passive. You are wise to review the situation, wait, and know when to take action. It may take some time for your friend to tell her story, depending on how sad she is. Knowing when to take action will only be possible through communication. Ask her regularly if she's ready to vent.
   • Only leave her alone if she asks for it. Even if she seems angry or sad, stay with her until she calms down.
2. Use physical contact to comfort her. A light touch works wonders. This releases the hormone oxytocin. This hormone increases feelings of attachment, connection, trust and intimacy. While holding hands, you can run your thumb over her knuckles or rub small circles on the back of her hand. You can also put a hand on her shoulder or back to achieve the same effect.
   • Holding hands is a great way to relieve feelings of stress. This simple act increases the feeling of confidence and security and lowers the level of cortisol ("stress hormone").
3. Hug her. You can give her a big hug, but rocking her back and forth or patting gently on the back can also be fine if you want to calm her down before you talk. Remember to hug her to reassure her, so make sure she feels safe and protected.
   • A hug gives a sense of security. Most people will find such a touch comforting.
4. Do not go too far with physical contact. A light touch or a hug is enough to comfort your girlfriend. If she wants to kiss you, she will.
5. Take her somewhere. Take her somewhere to surprise her with a kind gesture. She may not want to be around other people at the point. Suggest taking a break so that she's away from her troubles for a moment.
   • Organize a picnic for both of you.
   • Treat her to a massage at a spa.
   • Watch a fun comedy together.
   • Take a walk together.

Tips

• Don't run. If she doesn't want to talk to you, wait until she does.
• Once she has calmed down, fill the tub with warm water and buy her some chocolate or something small. This shows that what she went through does not leave you indifferent.
• If you can't help her, suggest that she talk to a friend. Offer to bring her and pick her up when she feels a little better.
• Say something nice to her and give her a kiss.

Warnings

• Be careful about using humor in an attempt to cheer her up. She may appreciate your efforts, but your jokes may also be ineffective.
• Most girls will appreciate it when someone tries to comfort them, but some would rather be left alone when they are sad. If they radiate or say they want to be alone, you should withdraw and give her space. Don't go too far, as she may change her mind later and want you with her.