Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 4: Think without feeling at important moments
• Method 2 of 4: Keep your cool
• Method 3 of 4: Learn habits that allow you to control your emotions
• Method 4 of 4: Train your thoughts
• Tips
• Warnings

Emotions play an important role in our lives. You can think of emotions as the senses of your soul and they are just as strong as your physical senses. For example, your emotions tell you what you like and what you don't like and whether you want something or not. Because they give you such important information, it is important that you are aware of your emotions and accept that you have them. On the other hand, if your emotions take over completely, they can stop you from functioning properly and unable to think clearly at important moments. Fortunately, there are tools that can help you control your emotions so that you can function better in everyday life and make the right decisions at important moments.

To step

Method 1 of 4: Think without feeling at important moments

1. Dispel self-sabotaging thoughts. Don't sink into a sea of ​​self-pity, inner disapproval, and self-loathing. The images you see on television of perfect bodies, the perfect body style, the ideal job, and so on, try to make us all feel "less". You can decide for yourself whether you want to allow those thoughts or not.
   • Stop comparing yourself to others. As soon as you start comparing yourself with others, you diminish your own worth and originality. You have unique talents, abilities and quirks. Cherish those qualities and use them to shine as well as hide behind, depending on the situation. You can compare prices, people cannot.
   • Stop thinking that you cannot handle a certain situation or that everything always goes wrong. Thinking that way will only make you function less well. Instead, think logically and try to find a solution to the problem.
2. Don't try to predict the future. It is very possible that your prediction is then incorrect! If you start to think, "Oh dear, if I do this, X will happen," you quickly panic. If you don't care about the consequences, you don't have to worry or fear anything. Just act on feeling. If you can't predict the future, why give it a try?
   • If you still want to predict what will happen, create an image of yourself, 5 minutes later, in which you have completely lost your mind. Do you want to be that person? Probably not! Use that negative image of yourself to determine who you are not wants to be.
3. Distance yourself from the situation. Try to see your life and everything that happens around you like a movie. Try to watch everything that happens from above and pretend you're looking at someone else instead of yourself. This allows you to view a certain situation objectively without involving your emotions.
   • Imagine viewing the situation as an outsider, as someone who does not know the situation and is not emotionally involved in it. By taking a step back you ensure that you are not prejudiced; instead, you remain objective, like a doctor treating a patient. In neurolinguistic programming this is called "refraining", or thinking differently.
   • Taking your distance is not without risk, so be careful with it. Distancing yourself too often can harm your thoughts and character if you're not careful. Only distance yourself in certain situations, and don't automatically do it in all difficult situations. Sometimes you have to face a particular problem without moving away from it.
4. Think logically. Instead of imagining all sorts of things caused by fear, anger, or other emotional reactions, try to start from the facts alone. Logic often allows you to control your uncontrollable emotions and it will help you to see how each situation really works. Ultimately, the truth isn't in your head, though outside it - and so it is not about how you interpret the situation.
   • If you're worried you won't get it right in a job interview, reconsider what exactly the facts are. First, you wouldn't have the interview if you didn't have the right qualifications. Plus, if you don't get the job, you may not be a good fit for the company, but that doesn't mean you're not a good candidate.
   • By thinking logically during an emotional crisis, you can think faster and make the right decisions without worrying about everything for too long. If you often react emotionally in difficult situations, you should try to train your brain in logical thinking.
5. Keep in mind that sometimes emotions are just part of it. They even come in handy every now and then. We don't have them without reason - if emotions were of no use at all, we wouldn't have developed them. Research has even shown that you can sometimes better make decisions when you let yourself go emotionally (usually this happens when you are tired). So if you have a certain feeling, try to determine if it makes sense. And if so, you might be better off giving in to it.
   • If the feeling doesn't make sense, turn it off right away. Throw it out the window, as it were. If it's a feeling paranoid, neurotic, worried, anxious, or nauseating, don't allow it. It's just a voice in your head that makes you worry so much.
   • If it is a meaningful feeling (sadness, for example, is a negative emotion that makes sense), then accept it. As long as you don't acknowledge it, you cannot distance yourself from it. Accept that you have had that feeling and let it pass. At some point, another feeling will replace that emotion.

Method 2 of 4: Keep your cool

1. Take a deep breath. Taking a deep breath keeps you calm in difficult situations. This has a positive effect on your overall health. Below we describe some of the ways in which you can control your emotions with the help of your breath:
   • Inhale through your nose for 2 seconds. Then hold your breath for 4 seconds and finally exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds. Repeat this until you feel your emotions diminish.
   • Sit in an easy chair and focus on your breathing. Try to determine whether you are breathing long or short. Don't try to change your breathing; instead, make fists with your hands and press your thumbs against your index fingers. Let go, push them together again and hold. You will notice that each time you squeeze, you breathe deeper and slower. This makes you calmer and you can let go of your emotions.
2. By seeking distraction you become calmer. Instead of getting stuck in a never-ending series of negative thoughts, get up and do something else. Thoughts come and go - you can dispel negative thoughts by distracting yourself with new thoughts. Before you know it you think, "Oh yeah, I was so worried about that, didn't you?"
   • Do something active that makes you feel good. If you are sad or worried and can't stop worrying, go out for a run with the dog, go to the gym, or grab your camera and get out into nature to take pictures. Everything is fine as long as your thoughts are actively involved so that you no longer have emotional thoughts.
   • Choose an activity that requires you to concentrate very well. Knitting, sewing or any other activity with a lot of repetition is suitable, or anything else you need to keep your mind on.
3. Don't use alcohol or drugs to make your emotions fade. It may seem like a good idea at the moment, but when you wake up the next morning you probably feel twice as bad and regret it. It's a very temporary fix to the problem and the problem always comes back.
   • Also, try not to suddenly start eating very much or very little if your emotions are controlling you. All that accomplishes is putting your body (and your thoughts) under even more stress because your body isn't getting the nutrients it needs.
4. Keep a diary. Write about your emotions in this journal. Dedicate it to yourself. It will help you become more self-aware and you can put your feelings into it. So the next time you feel an emotion again (preferably a very strong one), grab your diary as soon as possible and start writing.
   • What aroused the emotion in you? Did you feel it coming? How felt the emotion? What did the emotion do to your body? How did you make the emotion go away? Or did the emotion disappear by itself?
5. End negative friendships. If you feel like all the time that all the energy is being sucked out of you and that you are constantly being pulled into the depths, it may not be just because of you. It may also be that your environment is causing you to have negative feelings all the time. Almost all of us have friends or acquaintances who negatively impact our lives, but usually we are too lazy or too nice to end such friendships. Time to quit! Those people can cause emotions that you don't need at all. Start it today, with the first person that comes to your mind. You don't need that junk.
   • Unfortunately people have a lot of influence on our emotions. At least they don't for real, but we give them that power ourselves. Life is too short to spend your time with people who make you feel bad, so you better let those people go. They're looking for other people to suck out emotionally!

Method 3 of 4: Learn habits that allow you to control your emotions

1. Meditate. Meditation is one of the best ways to control your emotions. By learning to meditate and practice what is called mindfulness in English (which means about as much as mindfulness and acceptance), you will learn how to recognize your emotions, how to accept them, and then how to let them go. There are people who can let go of emotional dependence on command, but this usually only works for people who have meditated for a long time and practice a lot every day.
   • Find a quiet place where you cannot be disturbed and sit in a comfortable position where you can breathe deeply. You can start with a relatively easy way of meditating by simply focusing on your breath. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your stomach; exhale from your abdominal cavity through your nose. As you breathe, focus on your breath and the way your breath flows through your body.
   • Become aware of your entire body, from your crown to the soles of your feet. Just focus on what you are feeling. Is it hot or cold? Can you feel the chair or the floor beneath you? Just be aware of it.
2. Use visualization while meditating. Visualize something you associate with a feeling of peace, and focus on that image in your mind. Whenever your thoughts wander, try to acknowledge, accept, and let go of those new thoughts. Then focus again on the image that you had formed in your head.
   • When certain thoughts or emotions come to your mind, just acknowledge them. Don't try to change or hold on to them: you just have to accept them. Then you let them go as you continue to breathe deeply.
   • A good meditation session lasts 5 minutes to half an hour or more, if you want. Once you have reached your "spot" you will notice how your mood, your thoughts and your behavior change. Once you have mastered it, you can apply it anytime, anywhere in difficult situations that can throw you off balance emotionally. You will see that you will soon regain control of the situation.
3. Admit your mistakes. There is no single, simple answer to many problems in life, and it is not good to think in black and white. When you make a mistake, change what is necessary or apologize and don't sink into all-consuming and devastating feelings of guilt or regret. There should be no room in your life for negative emotions. They are good for nothing!
   • As with meditation, it is best to admit your mistakes and then let them go. They are part of the past. Now you know better! It's a mistake you won't make again, so there's no point in worrying about it any longer. It takes a lot of courage to admit you've made a mistake - it's more admirable than being right, to begin with.
4. Avoid self-sabotaging behavior. No matter how angry, frustrated or worried you are, do not respond to such emotions until you have taken the time to carefully review the situation. Place yourself in a position where you can think clearly and consider the consequences of your behavior. If you think there is even the slightest chance that you will act differently if you sleep on it first, do so.
   • Think before you speak. Emotions often cause you to give an answer that does not make such a good impression. Take your time and use your common sense. If you are about to say something before you have thought, remember the wisdom that it is better not to be heard so that people think you are not so smart than to open your mouth and affirm it.
     • If a coworker is criticizing your work, suppress the urge to send him or her an angry email or say something unkind while you are angry. You'd better take a moment to consider if your colleague might be right and if you might be able to improve your work with his or her comments. Or you may ask yourself whether you should perhaps ask your colleague to give the criticism in a more professional tone next time.
5. Get to know yourself. Try to learn to recognize the situations to which you react emotionally, and then take the reins as quickly as possible in such a situation. Distance yourself from the situation, avoid being too directly involved, or redirect the situation. Only you know what works for you. To do this you have to know yourself, you have to know what triggers certain emotions in you and how you react to them. So make sure you know through and through the only thing you have access to 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (namely yourself). You.
   • This only works if you do everything you can to help yourself! So instead of looking at a situation and asking yourself why you can't get it under control, you better work on it. Breath. Provide distraction. Read this article again. Ask others what they are doing to distance themselves. You can change your habits through practice, not miracles. Practice those unemotional habits and sooner or later you will become unemotional too. Although you may not notice it yourself until someone else tells you!

Method 4 of 4: Train your thoughts

1. Accept life as it is. Life is not unfair, it is not awful, nor is it fantastic and all rosy and moonshine; it is just the way it is. You cannot change life and you have to take most situations as they are. You exist, so life exists. Life isn't all great or romantic or terrible. That is the mentality with which you have to live your life. If you don't take anything too seriously and don't take things too seriously, your emotions will naturally diminish.
   • What should you really get emotional about? About love? Love is fleeting. Love is everywhere and is anything but unique. In addition, love is often based on selfish or sexual needs. Children? They are often better off not seeing love. Convince yourself that it doesn't matter, that life is just the way it is - and you will see that everything becomes a lot easier.
2. Think more about the community you are a part of instead of just focusing on yourself. When you focus more on others, it is much more difficult to become trapped in your own emotions. In an individualistic community like ours, we too often see ourselves as the focal point, leaving us without feeling connected to other people. As a result, we are sometimes too concerned with our own emotions, because we only focus on ourselves.
   • Being in contact with other people is good for you and gives a positive spin to your own life. By helping other people, by volunteering and by spending time giving advice or guidance to others, by sharing your knowledge with the people in your community, or having a cup of sugar with your neighbors, you will find yourself emotions become less dominant.
   • When you focus on other people, your inner feelings are less likely to control you and make you indecisive or depressed. If other people trust you, it gives you the courage to keep going and not get stuck in your emotions.
3. Create new thought cards. According to David Rock, an expert in neuro-leadership, it is very difficult to change the path our nerves take. It is much easier to create new thought maps. And the good news is that new thought cards, or new ways of thinking, are usually stronger because they are fresh and vibrant and very purposeful.
   • Instead of wasting tons of time worrying about the image you have of yourself that you are stupid and useless and that it will never work out, make a new thought map of yourself with yourself as someone who is inspired, motivated and fun.
   • Use all of your energy creating this new thought map by showing in everything you do that this is the person you are. With a little practice, you can make the new pathway your nerves, aka your neural network, follow even better, and simply ignore your old neural network that caused your emotions to rule your entire life.
4. Also pay attention to your positive feelings. Unfortunately, if you want to learn to control your emotions, positive feelings are part of that. So if your mom bought you the tickets to that fantastic concert you've been dying to attend, or if your best friend suddenly enters the room, thank that person for the gesture but don't let yourself go completely. Smile and be nice, but leave it at that.
   • If you really want to appear completely unemotional, it also means that you will no longer be really enthusiastic or happy about anything. The advantage of this is that if nothing really makes you happy, there is nothing that really makes you sad. You just always have a kind of standard neutral feelings.
5. Don't think too long about things you can't change anyway. You may get angry when you feel powerless in a certain situation because you can't change it. You will have to accept that anger in order to then let it go. You can therefore better focus on what you can do, so that you get positive thoughts and not just keep seeing the bad side of the situation.
   • Think positive. Positive thinking is the foundation for dealing with your emotions. This is certainly an option, but you can also try not to think at all. The human brain is able to let go of everything. So if you want to be completely neutral, try not to be positive and not to think negatively. Experiment with this by completely closing yourself off from everything.

Tips

• Don't pay attention to people who criticize you. Just look bored at such a person to show that you are not interested.
• Many people feel a lot better after crying because crying is a physical mechanism that allows you to handle your emotions better. But sometimes, if you have an emotional problem at work, for example, it's not a good idea to cry in front of everyone. Try pressing your thumb and index finger very hard together. This is a very effective way of suppressing the urge to cry.
• If you want to learn more about how logical thinking can change the way you respond to your emotions, you can look for information about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or "CBT". According to doctors, scientists and therapists, CBT is an effective way to change the way you think.

Warnings

• Cutting or hurting yourself (for example, by cutting your fists or by squeezing or stabbing yourself) is not a good way to relieve your inner pain. Not only will you damage yourself and it may even leave you with scars, but it will only make you feel worse and sink deeper and deeper into a dark hole.
• If you feel that you are at the mercy of your emotions and you cannot stop them, you may be extremely anxious or have depression or some other mental illness. Do not hesitate to make an appointment with a psychologist. The sooner you seek help, the sooner you will get the resources you need to control your emotions from now on.