Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Taking the pose of a mistress
• Part 2 of 3: Playing the part
• Part 3 of 3: Look like a mistress
• Tips
• Warnings

A mistress is the one who plays the dominant role in a bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism (BDSM) relationship. While some people become mistresses and work with clients professionally, you can also play the role of mistress just for fun. In that case, you can play a fantasy role for your own pleasure and that of your partner. Good behavior, communication and procedures are incredibly important not only to build a caring relationship, but also to prevent physical or psychological harm to either party.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Taking the pose of a mistress

1. Decide what makes you feel good. A professional mistress may have little or no sexual contact with her clients. But many offer their clients the full range of sexual services. Even if you're just playing the part with your partner, it's important to identify what feels right to do and say. A mistress should always feel comfortable and in control.
   • If you want to be a professional mistress, you have to understand the risks. Someone, even if you take every precaution, may turn against you. There are also risks associated with sexual contact, such as STDs.
2. Be open to the other. If you want to be a professional mistress, you have to face the situation with an open mind. Your customer can come from any conceivable background and be present for a specific reason. Although you are paid to dominate, you must treat every customer with respect and understanding. Respect their wishes, even if you are with a partner who wants the same.
   • For example, a customer may tell you that they are asking for your services because they want to be dominated in everyday life. It is your responsibility not to pass judgment on this wish.
3. Be self-assured. You cannot control someone if you are unable to control the situation. Focus on you being the boss. As long as your partner is okay with it, don't be afraid to say or do anything.
   • For example, you may feel embarrassed at first to tell your partner to be quiet or to sit down, but you don't have to until you hear that they no longer feel OK.
4. Keep the correct posture. Remember that you have all the power, so by maintaining the right attitude, you subconsciously let your partner know that you are the boss. Stand up straight and keep your head up.
5. Set up the situation around you. It should be clear that it is all about you and your enjoyment and comfort. Unless something specific has been asked, you do and say whatever you want, as long as it's not really harmful. This also applies if you have been hired as a mistress.

Part 2 of 3: Playing the part

1. Ask a mistress to guide you. This is not necessary if you are playing a role with your partner, although you can also get tips from videos and books. If you really want to become a mistress, it helps if someone can show you how it works. Your mentor can teach you how to protect yourself, how to negotiate and even teach you certain behaviors.
2. Practice verbal communication. Being a mistress is a lot about what you do, but what you say and how you say it is just as important. Practice giving commands and speaking with confidence. That may feel strange at first, but after a while it will take some getting used to. Watch videos of other mistresses to get an idea of ​​how they speak.
3. Make a plan for your time as a mistress. There is a lot of role play in being a mistress. Come up with a story so that you don't get stuck in your role. Plan your story and practice it until it feels natural when you start playing your part.
   • You can watch videos of mistresses to get ideas.
   • Ask your partner if they have any special wishes. Include these wishes in your story.
4. Buy accessories and learn how to use them. Accessories are an important part of BDSM. A whip, blindfold, board, rope and handcuffs are some common accessories for a mistress. You can buy these things online or at a sex shop. Make sure your partner is comfortable using the accessories.
   • Other accessories you can use include a leash and collar and a chastity belt.
5. Make your own stuff into accessories. If you can't buy accessories, you can make some of your own BDSM accessories. For example, you can use a belt, silk tie, or sleep mask. Make sure that your partner is okay with using his or her stuff.
6. Practice using the accessories. You have to learn to use the accessories properly. For example, you need to practice with a whip to produce the correct level of pain on your client's skin without causing wounds. Practice and get to know your accessories before actually using them.
   • Don't use too much power. Getting carried away leads to injury.
7. Agree on a safe word with your partner. Normally, the subject has a code that tells the mistress to stop or hold back. Ask your partner or client to come up with a safe word to tell you to stop. The word can be, for example, "purple". Over time you will develop a language that will allow the "act" to run smoothly.
8. Pay attention to your partner's needs. Take control of your partner and manage the situation, but have an eye and an ear for what you are asked to do. In addition, you should know to stop if your partner or client appears to be in pain or losing consciousness. A little pain can be fine, but your partner shouldn't really get hurt.

Part 3 of 3: Look like a mistress

1. Get the outfit you feel most confident in. A (usually black) bodystocking for your entire body is part of the fetish and bondage culture. Make sure it is made of leather or rubber. If a whole suit isn't for you, look for a sexy black dress or lingerie. Your partner may also ask you to wear a specific outfit.
   • A leather outfit is more suitable for the bedroom (or elsewhere) than for everyday use.
   • There is a difference between a dominant lifestyle and fetishism, but the skintight black bodystocking remains an iconic piece of clothing for both groups.
2. Invest in high heels. Mistresses often wear thigh boots with stiletto heels. Like the bodystocking, these boots radiate the mistress's attitude to mainstream culture. Platform boots and stiletto heels can also be worn. You can wear flat black boots too, if high heels aren't an option for you.
3. Wear a corset. A corset is tight-fitting underwear (often worn as outerwear) that helps to keep your body well-formed. A bondage corset has become an important part of fetish clothing. You can also wear a bustier. You should wear this with lingerie or a dress and not under a bodystocking.
4. Choose other sexy accessories. Fishnet stockings or suspenders are common accessories that go well with dresses and lingerie. You can also wear fingerless gloves or gloves up to the elbow. If concealing your identity makes you more confident, wear a mask that hides part of your face.

Tips

• Attachments and toys are an important part of the world of mistresses. If you don't know what to buy, go to the sex shop nearby for ideas.
• Make sure to clean all toys afterwards.
• If you use latex clothing, remember to also purchase the supplies you need to keep the clothing in good condition. Think of gloss spray, disinfectant and silicone oil to clean everything afterwards.

Warnings

• Many mistress clothes are made of PVC (polyvinyl chloride). This is a toxic plastic. Try to avoid this stuff.
• Never hurt your partner. Stop as soon as the agreed code word is used.