Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 1: Break up with your girlfriend
• Tips
• Warnings

Are you in a relationship that is moving downhill? Do you dread the moment when you know for sure that you have to break up with your girlfriend? Quitting a date is never easy, but neither is staying with someone you don't love anymore. Here are some quick and simple tips to help you end your relationship. Just remember: be considerate and aware of what your girlfriend is going through. This makes a big difference.

To step

Method 1 of 1: Break up with your girlfriend

1. Make sure you have a good reason to end the relationship. You need a reason to say it, even if your feelings have just changed and she hasn't done anything wrong. If you have entered into a relationship with someone, you owe it to them to explain. You would also like to hear a reason if someone broke up with you, wouldn't you?
   • Here are some common reasons why people end their relationship:
     
     • Cheating on me. A relationship involves two people. Not three.
     • A lack of respect. Your partner is not treating you with the respect you know you deserve.
     • A manipulative relationship. Your partner manipulates you to get what she wants.
     • The love is gone. You realize, after a while, that you no longer have the same feelings for her as before.
     • Distance. The physical distance between you makes it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship.
2. Be careful when choosing a time. Choose a time when both of you can talk privately without distraction. Instead of doing it first thing in the morning, wait until the end of the day before she has to do a full day of school or work. If possible, do it on a Friday so that you both have the weekend to deal with your feelings in private.
   • Do not choose a holiday or any other important day.
3. Find a quiet, isolated place without distractions. Ending a relationship in person can be quite difficult, but you more or less owe it to her. It doesn't even matter where you do it - in a room, a park, a schoolyard - as long as there are no distractions when you tell her the news.
   • A quiet, public spot is suitable for two reasons. It's harder to argue in public places because you'll be staring at everyone. It tends to be shorter if you do it in public.
   • Never end the relationship via text message or email. Also try not to do this over the phone. These ways put you in a bad light. Your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend will let every other girl know what you did.
4. Get off the hook. It is not easy, but you can also remove a plaster as soon as possible. Ultimately, this will cause the least pain for both parties. If you can, say something like:
   • Example: I hate to have to do this because you've meant so much to me, but I think we should break it up.
   • Example: I really have a hard time with this so I apologize if I'm not doing it right, but I think it's better if we stop doing this.
   • Example: This may not come as a big surprise to you, but I think it would be wise if we end the relationship.
5. Give her an honest explanation. Say it like it is. Draw on the reasons you have come up with for yourself and base your explanation on them. Explain enough to her, but don't tell her every little detail that you didn't like or downright annoying. This only makes her angry and hostile.
   • Example: I know this is not what you wanted to hear, and if I could change how I felt I certainly would. It's just that I don't know if we belong together. I don't get along with your friends and you don't get along with my friends. My life is all about sports, and you hate sports. I've tried to accept our differences, but I can't do it anymore. I really think you and I would be a lot happier with someone else.
6. Take responsibility for your mistakes, if you can. If your girlfriend has manipulated you, has not treated you with respect, or has even cheated on you, then you cannot be blamed. On the other hand, the knife of a relationship usually cuts both ways: its actions influenced yours, and vice versa. It may be that you do have a bit of blame. Take responsibility if you think you should:
   • Example: I know I am somewhat to blame for it myself. I shouldn't have let you treat me or my friends without respect; I should have told you it was bothering me, and maybe you could have changed it. But it is now such a big problem that we cannot turn it back.
   • Example: It is also partly my fault. I pushed you away when you really needed someone, and maybe I pushed you right into his arms too. I understand why you did it, but I can't forgive you yet. Maybe I'll be able to do this in the future.
7. Be calm and reassuring. Breaking up can go wrong or escalate in many different ways. The key to success is to stay calm and put yourself in her position. You don't have to "win" the fight. It will no doubt contradict you with a number of other facts; and she might even call you names. (You probably would too, wouldn't you?) Think about what she has to say, and try not to get angry. Do your best to keep her from feeling bad.
   • If you're genuinely sad that you're ending the relationship and you want to comfort her, you can show her a little affection. Ask her if you can give her a hug; put an arm around her shoulder; look her in the eye and give her a genuine smile. These gestures can help her a lot in this difficult time.
8. Talk to her, but not too long. She may have some questions for you; answer that honestly. She may want to highlight a different side of the story; listen to that. Let her express some of her feelings.
   • If you find the conversation going on and on about the same things, tell her: I know this is difficult, but it seems like we are walking in circles. Shall I give you some time to think about it?
   • Offer her the opportunity to discuss matters again later. Say something like: I know there is a lot to process. It is the same for me. Would you like to talk about it again a little later? When the emotions are not so high?
9. Follow this list of "don'ts." There is no standard breakup protocol, but there are definitely things you shouldn't do when you break up with someone. Regardless of who it is. Some examples:
   • Don't keep her on a leash. If you don't think it's a good idea to stay friends, say so. This is better than giving her false hope.
   • Don't be a clicker. Click trowel, butter trowel, you are not allowed to go down my street, little dog will bite you, pussy will scratch you, that comes from all your chatting. What happened between you and her is nobody else's business. It's okay to tell your best friend about it, but don't hang it on the big clock.
   • Don't date someone else until the relationship ends. That's what they call cheating. Be patient and wait until you break up.
   • Don't use the breakup as an excuse for treating her badly. Whatever she did to you, it really doesn't pay to turn her life into a true hell. Stay respectful and treat her as you would like to be treated. This will make the break-up easier for both of you.

Tips

• You're too uglyI've found someone prettier or I've found someone nicer are not good reasons to end your relationship. Find a reason that is not so superficial and that, in some way, justifies your choice.
• Don't avoid her after she breaks up. All she'll think is that you're afraid to face her, or that you have a secret she shouldn't know about.
• Don't let one of your or her friends decide. This will not only hurt here, but also make you very angry. The chance that you will be hit in the face increases drastically.
• Make sure to end the courtship face-to-face. Doing this online or over the phone will give the impression that you are scared. She could also get the message wrong. The girl will understand better if you end the relationship in person, and you may even be able to remain friends afterwards.

Warnings

• You're a forewarned man if you're not comfortable seeing your future ex-girlfriend in the arms of another man. This may mean that you are not quite ready to end the date, and that you may have been motivated by the wrong impulses.

↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/break-up.html