Content

• To step
• Method 1 of 2: Flirt in real life
• Method 2 of 2: Flirting via text messages or chats
• Tips

Flirting, in its most basic form, is playfully showing that you are sexually attracted to someone. So before you start flirting with someone, you need to know if you are attracted and if you really like them! It can be terribly scary to start flirting because it puts yourself very vulnerable, but don't worry - it's normal to be nervous when you see someone you for real likes, and there are many ways to appear confident so that you can flirt successfully. Whether you're flirting through text messages, on the Internet, or in person, it's important to maintain the balance between revealing your feelings and keeping the other person engaged. If you want to know how to flirt, this article will give you some general advice.

To step

Method 1 of 2: Flirt in real life

1. Make eye contact. Eye contact is the best and simplest thing to do when you start flirting. You can look someone deep in the eye, but also look away every now and then, otherwise it can get too intense. Try these ways:
   • Get caught watching. Don't stare, just look at the other person every now and then. Keep doing this until he / she spots you. Hold the gaze for a second, smile and then look away again.
   • Look into his / her eyes when you talk to each other, especially at meaningful points in the conversation (for example, if you're complimenting).
   • Wink or raise your eyebrows. It may be a bit lackluster, but it will work if you do it sparingly. Do it if you see someone on the other side of a room, or if you are talking in a group but say something that is only intended for him / her.
   • Girls can look at a boy, lower their eyes for a moment and then look back at him through the eyelashes.
2. Smile. You will likely start to smile naturally when you talk to someone you like, but you can use your pearly whites to your advantage even before the conversation starts. You can also laugh when someone walks past you or is on the other side of the room. It doesn't have to be an ear-to-ear grin; just a subtle smile is best. Try the following variations:
   • Smile slowly. If you are looking at someone but not talking to them yet, you better let a slow smile come over your face, rather than suddenly grimace your face. It's hard to say why, but a slow smile is generally considered sexy.
   • Smile when you make eye contact. If you suddenly look someone in the eye, smile for extra effect (if it is a genuine smile, the other person will even see it without looking at your mouth - you will get wrinkles in your eyes, this is also called the Duchenne smile mentioned).
   • Try to smile with your eyes and not just your mouth. Make sure your whole face is glowing when you smile.
3. Talk to him / her. If you don't yet know the person you are flirting with, you can introduce yourself (or not) to further develop flirting. Avoid slimy opening lines. Just say "Hi" and introduce yourself, or ask a simple question, it's a lot more effective and less forced.
   • If the other person doesn't know your name, and you are naturally a spontaneous person, just introduce yourself. This can be very simple, such as "Hi, I am [name]". And what's your name? ". Make sure you understand the other person's name. To remember the name, you can repeat it immediately after he / she has said it (For example:" Lily. What a beautiful name. ") .
   • Or, if you think the other person should work a little harder for you, you can keep your name a secret for a while. If the other person really wants to know, he or she will have to do some research or chase you a bit more.
4. Start a conversation. Whether you already know the other person a little bit or not, a conversation is the best way to take flirting to the next level. Here are some guidelines:
   • The best way to start a conversation with someone you don't know is to start with an observation that ends in a question: "Nice weather today, don't you think?" or "It's so busy here, isn't it?". What you say isn't really that important - you just invite the other person to talk to you.
   • If you've met the other person before, you can start a conversation based on an experience or interest that you share. For example, you can talk about a class that you take together or the train that you both take to work. Again, the topic isn't that important - what's important is that you ask him or her to talk to you.
   • Gauge the response. If the other responds well, you can continue the conversation. If the other person does not respond or is uninterested, he or she is probably not interested in your flirtation.
5. Keep it light. Don't bring up too many personal things. Talk about the environment around you, about a concert you've just been to, etc. Keep personal matters (such as religion, money, relationships, education, etc.) out unless you know that the other person likes to broach deeper topics without become emotional. In general, you shouldn't talk about topics that are personally relevant to you (such as religion) until you get to know each other better.
   • It's easier to talk about fun and light things like your pet, TV shows, or your favorite vacation spot while flirting. That doesn't mean you should pretend you're stupid, just relax and save the deeper conversations for later.
   • Be playful. Playfulness means that you don't take yourself too seriously, that you act funny, that you tease the other person a little or that you start talking about something very unexpected. It also means that you don't worry too much about the course of the conversation.
6. Use body language to communicate your intentions. Nonverbal cues often say a lot more about how you feel than words do, so make sure you show what you mean. Try the following things:
   • Keep your attitude "open". Do not cross your arms or legs, these are often signs that you want to shield yourself from the other.
   • Turn your body slightly towards the other. Sit or stand in such a way that you are facing the other. Turn your upper body towards him / her or point your feet in that direction.
   • Touch him or her. Initiate casual physical contact by briefly touching him or her on the forearm, or by "accidentally" walking a little too close to each other so that your hands briefly touch each other.
   • Play with your hair (girls). Playing with your hair is usually a sign that you're a little nervous, which is good if you like the other person - you want almost he / she knows that you are nervous, because that shows that you are interested. To consciously communicate this to the other person, you can slowly wrap a strand of hair around your finger while you talk.
7. Touch the other. The first times you touch the other you have to make sure that he or she does not feel "trapped".Depending on where you touch him or her, the touch should be just long enough so that it is clear that you did it on purpose, but no longer than that. Do not immediately grab a hand or arm, but pretend, for example, that you are wiping a dirt off a sleeve, or "accidentally" touch each other's feet or knees while sitting.
   • All of these touches can be neatly rejected without embarrassing the other, so if the other is not ready for that kind of contact, they don't have to reject you completely.
8. Compliment the other person early on in the conversation. It may seem a little quick, but it is good if you immediately make it clear that you are interested in the other person before only a good friendship develops. Get all your confidence together and don't miss the opportunity - you never know when the next opportunity is. Here are some techniques to try:
   • When giving a compliment, maintain eye contact. If you look away, the other person may think you don't mean it.
   • Lower the tone and volume of your voice a little. That makes your voice sound a bit more intimate and a bit sexy. In addition, the other has to come a little closer to be able to hear it.
   • Use the other person's interests to your advantage. If you know that the other person is already in a relationship with someone, you can use that to your advantage by giving a compliment.
   • Try to weave the compliment into the conversation. For example, if he or she says he / she had a terrible day, you could say something like "I can't bear to see someone so sweet so unhappy. What can I do to cheer you up?"
   • Be careful with compliments on appearance. A girl might like it when you say something about her eyes, but she might find it scary if you talk about her body too soon. Keep it tidy and stick to these physical features:
     • Eyes
     • Smile
     • Lips
     • Her
     • Hands
9. Keep conversations short. Keep in mind that you can always create more demand by keeping supplies scarce, so try to keep the meeting short. Don't talk to him / her every day. Make it special and stick with it a few times a week.
   • Do not let the conversation last longer than 5 to 10 minutes. The longer it goes on, the more likely it is for an awkward silence.
   • Let the other come to you. After you have worked hard to initiate the conversation and spark interest, you can take a step back and see if he / she you is going to look up. This way you can gauge the interest of the other and build up the tension.
10. Close the deal. If your flirtation has been successful so far and you want to get to know the other person better, it's time to see if they want to go on a date with you. Here are some options to ask the other person:
    • Ask if the other person has plans for a specific date. For example, you can say, "What are you doing next Saturday?". Keep the question open, and don't ask something that can only be answered with yes or no - then you can get more information. Don't ask anyone what tonight or even tomorrow. Try to plan ahead a bit so you don't seem too desperate.
    • Suggest going to a particular event and ask if he / she would like to go. This is the best approach if you want to go out with a whole group. For example, you can say, "We are going to the movies with some people this Friday. I would really like it if you go along too."
    • Be straightforward. If you are very confident you can just say what it is like. For example, you can say, "I would love to go out with you. When can you?"

Method 2 of 2: Flirting via text messages or chats

1. Take it casual. Don't be so nervous that you forget the basic techniques of communication altogether. Try to stay calm and start the conversation very casually. If you haven't interacted with the person online before, you should first find an excuse to talk to them, such as asking them about homework or a sport you both love. If you're texting the person for the first time, make sure they know who you are and don't scare them. Here are some options to start the conversation:
   • "Hey, how are you?"
   • "Did you hear / see that [enter an event that you both know about here]?"
   • "How has your week been so far?"
2. Don't talk too much about yourself. This is an important principle when talking to people: Most people like to talk about themselves because they know the most about themselves. Instead of choosing the easiest way and endlessly about it you You can encourage the other to talk about themselves. Of course you should occasionally add something personal to the conversation so that he or she can ask you questions again. Most importantly, you leave it up to him / her to show interest in you.
   • This tactic serves two purposes: It keeps the conversation going and it ensures that you get to know the other person better.
   • You don't need to know anything about the other person in advance if you want to perform this step. If you don't know him or her that well yet, you can ask, for example:
     • "How was your day today?"
     • "What do you like to do in your spare time?"
   • If you already know the other a little, you can focus on a hobby or interest of the other. You may know that he is very fond of football or that she is addicted to reading. "Did you see Ajax against AZ yesterday?" or "Have you read any good books lately?" are then good opening sentences.
3. Know when to fish for a little more information. You can keep the discussion lively and interesting without immediately getting too personal. For example, you can ask what he or he likes so much about diving; Asking about family relationships or close friendships right away might go a little too far. You can do it in a funny, flirty way that doesn't seem too serious so that it doesn't seem like you're conducting an interview. Here are some ways to get more information in a flirty way:
   • "Do you plan to spend all night at your computer, or do you have more exciting plans?"
   • "Are you going to do your best at the game tonight?"
   • "I saw that you have a cute pussy on your profile picture. Do you spend most of your time on that?"
4. Compliment the other person early on in the conversation. Don't be afraid or skip this step - it may seem difficult, but it is incredibly important. A compliment lets you know that you might be interested in dating, which will make you more than just friends. If you're not complimenting yet and just letting the conversation go on in a friendly way, it might be too late next time. Here are some compliments you could use:
   • If you don't know the other very well yet, but you want to work on it, you can compliment that direction. For example, say, "I love to chat with you" or "I can't believe I'm getting to know someone as interesting as you."
   • Try to weave the compliment into the conversation. For example, if he or she says he / she had a terrible day, you could say something like, "I can't bear to see someone so sweet so unhappy. What can I do to cheer you up?"
5. Dare to be a bit cheeky. If none of the above suggestions appeal to you, be straightforward and give them a bolder compliment. Try these options, use the adjective that best describes the person, or make up your own:
   • "I hope you know that you are gorgeous / beautiful / wonderful / my favorite person to talk to / etc."
   • "Sorry if this is a bit fast, but I have to tell you that you are wonderful / beautiful / special / etc."
6. Don't shower him / her with compliments if it's too early for that. If you let the other person guess a little about your feelings for him / her, it can actually make you a little more attractive, because then you come across as a bit more mysterious. You should not let the other person feel completely in the dark about what you think of him / her, but he / she should ask how you like him / her exactly. If you openly say, "I'm madly in love with you," or "I've always loved you like that," there's nothing left to guess.
   • Instead, you can send a text or chat saying something like, "You looked so cute in your new sweater today," or any other comment that's sweet and flirty without making everything straightforward.
7. Convince the other person to approach you, instead of doing all the work themselves. While flirting wants to show that you like the other person, it shouldn't seem like you're doing everything. So you have to be just flattering enough to let you know that you are interested, but you have to let it be a bit in the dark about how important it is to you. To achieve that, you can make the compliments more objective than subjective. Here are some examples of that:
   • "I think your eyes are so beautiful". At first glance, this seems like a great compliment, and it will certainly be greatly appreciated. But a common mistake with romantic compliments is that it often starts with the words "I find ...". That reveals to the other that they have already managed to win you over. That's great if you've already built a relationship, but saying it too soon makes it seem like you're too easy to get.
   • "You have such beautiful eyes". Although you say in both sentences that you like the other person's eyes, this is more of an observation than a personal opinion. It implies that you find the other person attractive, but it does not confirm it yet. As a result, the other person will be flattered, and he / she wants to know how attractive you find him / her.
8. Be a little teasing. Since you can't use body language when texting or chatting, you'll have to rely on your words to keep the mood light and fun. In the beginning, make fun of things that both of you have been through, be sarcastic ("Yeah, SURE you look like a troll in the morning"), and exaggerate ("You can probably do this a thousand times better than me").
   • Make it clear that you are joking. The disadvantage of SMS is that you are not always sure what someone means. If you're flirting with someone by making fun of it, make sure the other person knows it's meant to be funny. Use winking smileys, capitalize everything, or add extra exclamation points to make it clear.
     • If you sent something that you later think could be misunderstood, please clarify it. Write something like "Just kidding!" to save the day.
9. Always make the other person want more from you. You may want to continue texting indefinitely, but it is better to stop if the conversation goes a bit dead (as is the case with all conversations at some point). To avoid an awkward pause, you must end the conversation before there can be a pause. By ending the conversation in a positive way, the other person immediately feels like the next conversation.
   • Agree for the next time. Say something like "Hey, shall we text again around the same time tomorrow?" or "Send me another text message soon!".
   • If you chat online, let me know before you quit that you liked it. It doesn't have to be complicated - you can simply say, "This was crazy!" or "Nice to have a chat with you". In a text message it can all be a bit more informal.
   • Be careful not to compliment too much. Your compliments are less meaningful if you pour them out on him / her all the time. Rather, save them for meaningful things, such as something he / she is very good at.
10. Don't take it too seriously. Keep in mind that flirting should be fun, and try not to mind if the other person doesn't respond to your flirtation - it won't always work out. Stay positive and try again with someone else. As with most things, with flirting, practice makes perfect. Not every flirt ends with a date. Sometimes you just flirt for fun, instead of hoping it will work.
    • Flirting can help you meet new people, gain confidence, and learn to mingle with others. You don't have to feel pressure to make sense of it, and it doesn't have to be perfect.

Tips

• Don't complain while you're flirting. Remember the world doesn't revolve around you. If you complain too much, others will find you depressed and will avoid you. This is also true if you insult or belittle yourself all the time. That is not modest, it is a form of attracting attention.
• Don't use your phone (including texting) while flirting with someone. Then it seems as if you prefer to talk to someone who is not there, or that you are already in a relationship with someone else.
• If you're flirting with a girl and you want to touch her, try that first by showing your manners. For example, shake her hand if she has to walk on a narrow sidewalk or if she has to get out of the car. How does she respond to that? Does she like that? Or will she let you go as soon as possible?
• Flirt in a way that is appropriate for a particular situation. A library or dance floor may not be the best places to chat. In that case, smile, show that you are interested and wait for the moment you meet in the hallway or in a quieter café. However, do not follow the other person because you are too nervous to speak to him / her; that can be scary. Talk to him / her right away if you get the chance.
• Don't flirt with someone you aren't romantically interested in unless you are 100% sure that the other person isn't into you either. Otherwise, you can turn the other person's head, and that can create an uncomfortable situation.
• Don't be needy. Need is a precursor to obsession, which is scary. Needy people are unstable and out of balance, because their happiness depends on others. If you radiate that you will be completely devastated when the other person has no interest in you, you cannot flirt lightly and fun.
• You can't flirt everywhere. For example, at a funeral, it is not appropriate to flirt. It's not such a good idea at work either. If you do flirt at work, behave nicely and don't go through with it if the other person doesn't seem interested.
• If you don't like to ask for his or her phone number, give your number to him / her. If he / she is really interested, you will be called. You can also provide your email address.