Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 2: Making a plan for a new beginning
• Part 2 of 2: Keep up the courage
• Tips

Whether your name is Madonna or Wesley Sneijder, or just because of your own luck, with the right attitude everyone can make a new start in life. Nobody said it's easy, but if you are determined not to make the same mistakes again and to really live the life you want to live, then you are well on your way to becoming the person you love. want to be, even though it may seem impossible now. Don't be discouraged by people who doubt you and never think that you can never succeed from your position. When in doubt, remember that we all have the right to start over at some point. Start with the first step below and learn how to put a whole new spin on your life.

To step

Part 1 of 2: Making a plan for a new beginning

1. Acknowledge what went wrong. Write down where it all went wrong, so that you have all your mistakes in writing in front of you. Don't make excuses for your mistakes, but honestly confess to yourself what exactly happened. A situation that you could not control yourself is sometimes more difficult to deal with than something that you were responsible for yourself and that went wrong because you yourself took action too late or because you made the wrong decisions yourself. Others find it more difficult to accept that they may have contributed to or even caused the problem themselves. You can only start over in your life if there is a good reason for it.
   • Of course, not everything that has gone wrong in your life has to be your own fault. Maybe you've been addicted to drugs or haven't behaved properly in a relationship, but it could also be that the environment you grew up in wasn't that helpful or that you've just been unlucky so far. Don't blame yourself for things beyond your control and learn to accept that you can't always be lucky. You will have to learn how to deal with bad luck so that you know what to do about it, instead of using it all the time to justify your problems.
2. Try to learn from your mistakes. Even if you just had bad luck, you can make that bad luck or loss seem less bad if you find yourself in that situation again. If you failed an exam once during your studies, what exactly was the problem? Did you not study enough or could you not concentrate properly? Perhaps you had studied too much, or did you black out during the exam and suddenly forgot everything because of your nerves? Were you sometimes distracted by some event in your life, such as going out in a long-term relationship?
   • Ask yourself the questions above and don't judge the answers.You're not looking for excuses to blame others to begin with, so stop that. Saying it was someone else's fault is the very last thing to do. If that turns out to be the case, then you need to redefine what is important to you and take a closer look at your relationship with that person. Were you interrupted all the time while you were studying by a friend, one of your parents, or your partner? How can you learn to set boundaries to prevent this from happening again during the next exam period?
3. Consider whether you may need to redefine your goal. That may seem extreme, but before making your plan for a new beginning, it can help to take another look at the direction you want to give your life. For example, is a university degree really important for the career in which you think you will be happier? Or would you perhaps benefit more from a shorter, more specific training in the form of an internship or vocational training? If you would like to be physically active and become just as happy and more rewarding from an activity that produces clearly visible results, then a university degree and an office job may not be for you and a life as a construction worker, electrician, plumber or auto mechanic, or something in the direction of heating and ventilation or forestry is probably better for you.
   • Take a different path: starting over does not mean that you have to try again what has failed. You can also go in a completely different direction. Life consists of all kinds of challenges and experiments. Sometimes something works and sometimes something doesn't work. And if something doesn't work out, it doesn't mean you have failed. An experiment that failed is nothing more than that - you tried something and it didn't work out, so studying law or medicine just wasn't quite your thing. If you started law school because you have a certain political passion, you may want to take action, advise on political campaigns or lobbying to achieve your long-term goal.
4. Ask yourself how you can prevent it from going wrong again. What can you change in your life to reduce the chances of it going wrong again? If your problem was the result of a disaster or some other form of force majeure, such as fire or a severe storm, make sure you get all the resources you need in case the weather happens. Have you lost your job or has your relationship ended? Then consider what you could do to prevent things going wrong in the same way in your next job or relationship.
   • Maybe things went wrong because of people or circumstances that had a negative influence on you. Take another critical look at your relationships and see if you have certain friends, acquaintances, or family members who are negatively influencing you and prevent you from being the person you want to be. Is the answer yes? Then it might be better not to associate with those people anymore.
5. Determine what is most important to you in your life and set your goals. Once you know what went wrong and why it went wrong, it's time to make a plan to start over. That plan does not have to be completely fixed; you can change it in the meantime. Whichever path you take, you will always encounter obstacles, as well as windfalls and unexpected opportunities. If you know what you want and more or less understand how to achieve it, you can more easily set the goals that you need to achieve in the short term to reach your final goal.
   • You don't necessarily have to have a perfect 10-step plan to reach your goal, so don't worry about that. You may have a more abstract goal that is more difficult to map, like "Find my true calling," or "Love myself more." Just start with a few steps that you know will help improve your situation. As you progress in starting over, you will naturally begin to feel better about what you really need to be successful.
   • The most important thing is that you take action. The saying "actions, not words" may sound a bit corny, but it really is the truth. You can shout so loud that you will start over with your life, but as long as you don't take the first step in the right direction, your words don't mean anything at all.
6. Discuss your plan with someone who supports you, such as a close friend or family member, and preferably someone who was not involved in the situation you are now trying to resolve. It is very nice if that person has also experienced something like this. For example, if they threaten to expel you from school, the situation may be salvageable. Talk to students in a higher class who have had the same problems and ask them what strategies they have used. If your relationship has broken up, try to find out what others think about your behavior and that of your partner - it can sometimes be very surprising. Maybe your friends saw the problem long in advance.
   • Talking about your problem with someone who cares about you can make you feel like you really are able to start over. At the same time, the other person can often also give you good advice.
   • If you talk to others about your plan, the chances that it will work out are often greater. If you really tell people that you want to put a whole new spin on your life, you are more likely to do it, because you will feel to them that you have to keep your promise. If you give up too soon you will feel like you are not just yourself, but also disappoints the people who care about you.
7. Make New Year's Resolutions. The intention is for those good intentions to follow naturally from the steps you took earlier. Make time for your New Year's resolutions. For example, from now on, keep a few evenings a week off to stay at home and study seriously. Sometimes you can keep your resolve simply by making a decision and showing willpower, or it may take a few changes in your life to help you. If you're chatting with your friends all the time while you study, leave your Facebook or other chat programs on your computer off until you're done. Your plan to start over can consist of very small steps. You cannot change completely in one day, but as you keep changing more and more little things in your life, you will see that you succeed in the end and that you will achieve your goal.
   • One of the best ways to stay motivated is to give yourself a small reward every time you accomplish something, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Indicate each time you actually study on a scoreboard. Keeping track of what you have accomplished step by step with the help of small but regular rewards to yourself is one of the best ways to reach a goal. Try to think of it as a game of sorts - how much effort and how long does it take to get points? If you give your reward system the structure of that computer game you always immerse yourself in, changing your habits can become just as addictive!
8. End all your bad habits. For every bad habit you have, you have a reason. If you understand the wants and needs you are trying to fulfill with those bad habits, you can try to turn them into good habits. Perhaps you get more satisfaction from your favorite computer game than from your studies, because the computer game more often rewards you with points or the announcement that you have won or reached a higher level. By also using a point system for studying and setting it up so that the rewards are just a bit easier to get than in the game, you can turn the situation around. If you eat too much to comfort yourself and are getting overweight, try to think of other things you like and treat yourself to that, instead of eating.
   • With every bad habit, you are fulfilling a real, existing need, so you should try to find ways to meet those needs without harming you or anyone else and in a way that helps you achieve your goals, instead of hindering you in this.
9. Find people who will support you. Your parents and good friends are always suitable for this. Never ask for help from people who put you in your current situation! Spend less time and attention on people who are hindering you from achieving your goal. By getting angry with them you give them time and attention. You better use the energy that comes out of that anger to say to yourself, "I'm going to do it. I'll show them," instead of arguing with those people. Whenever you accomplish something on your list, you can tell those people how good it feels to take the next step in the right direction.
   • If you try to start over, you will of course also have to deal with setbacks. That is only normal. That is why it helps if you can talk to other people about your plans under any circumstances.
10. Put your chin in the air and don't believe it if someone else thinks you won't be able to start over. You can do it. And you are the only one who can make sure you can start over. You did it before, so you have proof that you can. The more honest you are with yourself, the easier it is to choose the right direction. The best direction is one that ensures that you have fun on the journey so that you are driven by true passion and the whole process is so much fun that you would follow it even if that goal weren't there.
    • As you work so hard to achieve your goals, remember to enjoy the journey there too. Try not to see it as an arduous battle, but as an exciting adventure full of good and bad moments that will eventually get you where you want to be.

Part 2 of 2: Keep up the courage

1. Stay positive. To make a new beginning, it is important that you are cheerful and energetic throughout the process. That may seem impossible, especially if you've just experienced something really bad, but the better you try to start each day with a smile, instead of complaining all the time or walking around with a grumpy face, the greater chances are that you will indeed get what you want. Instead of complaining, talk about the good things in your life, the things you look forward to. Of course, you can open your heart now and then, but if you keep whining about the negative sides of your life, it will be more difficult to get over those things.
   • When you interact with cheerful, satisfied people, chances are that your own attitude will remain positive. If you spend a lot of time with someone who just looks at everything from the negative side, you will most likely feel that way too.
2. Be sure of yourself. Rebuilding your life is of course accompanied by a certain amount of uncertainty. Try to remember the things you like about yourself, and not just the things you need to work on. Of course it is important that you know your weaknesses and that you work on the weaknesses that you can work on, but you should also remember what you love about yourself and what makes you unique and fantastic. List all of your positive qualities and everything you are good at. List everything you have already achieved in your life and make the list as long as possible.
   • A good way to increase your confidence is to do things that you are good at. Nowhere will you feel as good as by excelling at something that you do diligently and for which you have committed 100%.
   • It can take quite a long time to really gain confidence, but it never hurts to radiate confidence even if you don't feel it right away. Straighten your back, put your chin in the air, and look ahead, instead of staring at the floor. Keep your hands next to your body. That way you open yourself up to new possibilities instead of closing yourself off from contact with others. The more you "pretend," the more likely you are to actually feel it.
3. Take responsibility for your own behavior. It is important that you take responsibility for what you do and for the mistakes you made in the past that brought you to where you are today. Once you confess everything and acknowledge where you went wrong, you will be able to move forward faster. If you always blame 100% on the rest of the world for your problems, you won't feel like you have the resources to solve them yourself. If you take responsibility for the negative sides in your life, you will also feel responsible for your achievements and the positive goals you have set for yourself.
4. Don't be too hard on yourself. While it is important that you feel responsible for your own actions, it is equally important that you are kind to yourself and can forgive yourself when necessary. Everyone makes mistakes and you shouldn't think that you are a failure or that you are no good for anything just because you did something wrong once. Therefore, be nice to yourself and try to understand yourself. You will see that it will then be much easier to move forward. If you only think negatively about yourself, it is almost impossible to be confident and positive and therefore you will not be able to achieve your goals.
   • Being self-critical is not the same as blaming yourself for everything. Criticism is useful - it means trying to see why you are doing what you are doing and trying to see if it could be done differently. It means you are trying to fix the problem. Blaming yourself is just useless self-torture. You're already having a hard time, and blaming yourself won't motivate you to do things any other way. By constantly blaming yourself or others, you create a vicious circle that you cannot just get out of and in which everything happens over and over again. If you've had the same problem before, keep in mind that it can happen again.
5. If you've hurt someone, always apologize to them. Before you can really continue, it is important that you correct your previous mistakes. Think about who you might have hurt or wrongly treated when you were struggling. Make the effort to apologize to those people. You can say it directly to them or you can write it down. In any case, tell them that you regret what happened and that you are very sorry for the other person. It may be that not everyone forgives you right away, or that some people don't believe that you will really change until you prove them wrong, but this is definitely a step in the right direction.
   • It's always harder to move on when you still feel guilty about what you've done to other people. It can be very difficult to let go of your past completely, but apologizing to those you have hurt is a step in the right direction and it will make you feel permanently stronger.
6. Help others. Now that you are struggling to get your life back on track, you may feel that helping others is the last thing you can do. But if you feel like you're ready to stand on your own two feet and make a new beginning, take the time to slow down and offer help to someone who needs it. For example, you can help a friend who is having an even harder time than you, a lonely neighbor or woman, or you can help someone who would like to learn to read at the local library.
   • By helping others you will not only positively change other people's lives, you will also find that you have a lot to offer your community and the rest of the world.

Tips

• Sometimes things go wrong for everyone. For example, did you know that Einstein was once expelled from school?
• Everyone has difficult days from time to time. Try to think of those days as experiences you can learn from.
• Remember that as long as something doesn't kill you, it can only make you stronger.
• Movies with a happy ending often make you feel that anything is possible. Watching such a film is often very inspiring!