Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Choosing a kind of mentor
• Part 2 of 3: Finding a mentor
• Part 3 of 3: Maintaining a healthy relationship with your mentor

A mentor is usually a volunteer counselor or teacher who guides you through work, school, or other areas of your life. Sometimes it is a formally organized relationship between a professional and a novice, and sometimes the relationship is more informal like a friendship with a role model. Even though you determine the exact relationship with your mentor, this article is intended to help you find potential mentors and shape the relationship between you and the other. Read on to get started.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Choosing a kind of mentor

1. Understand the role of a mentor. A good mentor will help you learn to do things, but will not do those things for you. A mentor sets a good example. For example, an academic mentor will be able to give you tips on how to study more efficiently, as well as advice and examples on how to successfully achieve your goals in smart and alternative ways. However, he or she will not help you correct your essay for history just before you have to turn it in. This is the difference between a tutor and a mentor. A good mentor will:
   • Evaluate your strengths and weaknesses.
   • Helping you understand the ways in which a topic is structured and organized.
   • Show your new perspectives and correct incorrect thinking patterns.
   • Improve your decision making skills.
   • You get to know the tricks of the trade.
   • Identify you important resources and useful reference books.
   EXPERT TIP

   Consider an academic mentor. This typically involves having one-on-one conversations with someone who excels in the subject or subject you are studying, who has the time to mentor you and who is interested in your academic performance. Consider:

   • Professors, university teachers or other teachers.
   • Older or more experienced students.
   • Brothers, sisters or other family members.
2. Consider a sports and recreation mentor. Think about mentors who excel in the sport you are interested in and want to develop further in. Of course, while athletic skills should play an important role in a sports mentor, you should also consider the human side of the relationship when thinking about a sports mentor. A good football mentor should be a sporty person, an intelligent athlete, a well-developed person, as well as a very good football player. Consider:
   • Coaches and Assistants.
   • Experienced players from your team or from other teams.
   • Professional athletes or athletes who have quit.
   • Trainers.
3. Consider a job mentor. Work mentors and other professional mentors are typically successful employees in the field or industry you would like to work in and who can teach you a few tricks of the trade. This can be anything from investing to playing blues guitar. Think about who is better than you at what you would like to do. Consider:
   • Colleagues and people you know through your work.
   • An old boss of yours, but not your current supervisor.
   • Employees in good standing.
   EXPERT TIP

   Consider a personal mentor. Develop a relationship with someone you admire personally, not because of what they do, but because of who they are and how they go about things. Think of people you look up to, for no particular reason. A personal mentor could be one of the following:

   • A neighbor or neighbor.
   • Your favorite bartender or barista.
   • Your personal style icon.
   • Someone who attends your church.
   • The boy or girl in the record store.
   • A member of a club or association of which you belong.
4. Think about other ways to communicate. A mentor could be a neighbor or classmate you admire, but it could also be someone you've never met. The famous book Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke records the correspondence between a famous poet (Rilke) and a young student and writer who sent him some poems and asked for advice. Consider:
   • Successful people you may have read about and with whom you feel connected.
   • People who are clearly present on the internet and who you can easily approach.
   • Anyone who meets one or more criteria for a mentor, but who you do not know personally yet.

Part 2 of 3: Finding a mentor

1. Determine what specific role your mentor should play for you. Write down any problems or specific needs you have in the field or topic. It may be helpful to answer the following questions:
   • What would you like to learn?
   • What do you expect from your mentor?
   • How is the guidance organized by your mentor?
   • How often do you want to meet your mentor and where?
   EXPERT TIP

   A mentor will help you grow. They have often been through similar things and they can steer you and sharpen your judgment.

   
   

   List options. List possible mentors according to your personal criteria and wishes for the relationship. Organize the list and put your first choice at the top.

   • Look at the big picture. If you really admire someone's business acumen, but you can't stand them as a person, then he or she won't be a good mentor to you.
   • Bet high. Rich and famous people have personal assistants who learn from them and build a network based on that relationship. Why couldn't you? If Donald Trump is your ideal job mentor, put him at the top of the list. Write his office a letter and try to arrange a meeting.
   • Find out if your employer or school has an official mentoring program that can find a mentor for you. If so, see if it can help you achieve your goals and enroll in the program.
2. Think about what you want to say. If you go up to the professor after a lecture and ask, "I've been thinking about it: would you like to be my mentor", this could scare the other person if you don't explain what you mean by that. It sounds like an important role and a big obligation, when in reality you only want to talk about physics with the other now and then while enjoying a cup of coffee. Be specific and explain what you are looking for.
   • Don't use the word "mentor," but words like "support" and "guide." Better to say something like, "I could use some support to figure out how to sell more products in the next quarter. You seem to be doing well, Bob. Would you mind if we talk about it now and then while enjoying a drink? " then something like "I need you as a mentor. I need to sell more products. Help." The first sentence sounds more appealing to a potential mentor.
   • Make sure you don't give the wrong impression to anyone. If the salesperson you really admire is someone of the opposite sex, it can look a lot like you're asking them out. So ask when you are at the office or at the university if you are afraid of that.
3. Start approaching your potential mentors. Complete your list until someone agrees to fill the mentor role in the way you suggested.
   • If there is no one on your first round who wants to act as a mentor, don't worry. It may have nothing to do with you personally and more with the person's schedule or other issues. Start over and think about possible mentors who can free up more time or who are more willing to work with you.
4. Schedule a meeting. Don't wait too long after someone agrees to take on the role of mentor. Make concrete plans to meet on a specific day and time and hit a bucket of golf balls to improve your swing or review your math homework together.
   • Schedule another meeting if the first meeting goes well. At that point, you might consider asking "Would you mind if we started doing this regularly?"

Part 3 of 3: Maintaining a healthy relationship with your mentor

1. Make a schedule and stick to it. Even though you and your mentor mainly communicate via e-mail or the internet, do not suddenly fire a lot of questions at the other at the last minute if this does not fit within the previously designed relationship that you have established.
   • If the relationship ends naturally, then it's okay to call it a day. If you are sure that you have improved enough on the skill you wanted to learn from your mentor and that you are therefore sure that you can do without your weekly meeting, tell the other person.
2. Make sure both parties benefit from the relationship. Think about what you can offer your mentor in return. If a professor gives you a ton of free advice on your short stories, ask if the other person needs technical support in the office or could use help doing research. Connecting and setting up the new wireless router could be a great way to earn a favor.
   • When you make a career, remember who and what helped you with that. When opportunities arise, don't forget your mentors who got you started.
3. Show your appreciation. Write a letter or email to your mentor to keep him updated on your progress. Don't forget to thank your mentor for his specific contributions. This will make your mentor feel useful, needed and good at his job.
   • Be specific. If you just say "Thanks, you helped me so much!" this comes across as less acknowledging than "I was able to successfully complete my last sale thanks to the tips you gave me about opening lines. Thanks!"
   • You can also show your gratitude by giving a small gift. Small things like a book, a bottle of wine or the occasional dinner are suitable as a thank you.
4. Keep the relationship between you and your mentor purely businesslike. Getting emotionally involved with your mentor is usually not good for the mentoring process, especially if it involves someone you work with.