Content

• To step
• Part 1 of 3: Communicate effectively
• Part 2 of 3: Treat each other well
• Part 3 of 3: Improving an unhealthy relationship

A healthy relationship allows you to express your individuality (both with and without your partner), bring out the best in both of you, and encourage growth. Especially if you have just started a new relationship, it is best to build a foundation for a positive and healthy relationship from the beginning. By focusing on respect and helpful communication, you can enjoy a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

To step

Part 1 of 3: Communicate effectively

1. If there is anything, say it. Don't expect your partner to read your mind or "find out". If you need or want to express something, you have to make this clear yourself. It is not fair to you or your partner if you do not state what you want in words. Likewise, you must indicate what is disturbing you. If something is bothering you, tell your partner.
   • If you don't know how to start a conversation, say, "There is something I am concerned about and I would like to talk to you about it." You can also say, "Something is bothering me and I feel we need to talk about it."
2. Listen carefully. Part of a healthy relationship is knowing when to talk and when to listen. Develop your listening skills by not interrupting your partner and letting them speak their thoughts and feelings. Really listen and try not to come up with an answer while your partner is still talking.
   • Use active listening skills by responding to the content and emotions of what your partner is saying. Say, "So if I understand correctly, you are upset that I didn't tell you what time I would be home, and wish I had mentioned this a little earlier so you don't have to be concerned."
3. Create healthy boundaries. Limits are not meant to make you feel trapped; they are made to maintain respect and understand expectations in the relationship. If you feel uncomfortable, bring this up and discuss how things need to change, and how each of you can make changes. If one person wants to spend a lot of time together and the other doesn't, it is important to set a limit on how much time together and not together is appropriate.
   • For example, you may want to set sexual boundaries (being monogamous) and social boundaries (spending no more than one evening a week with friends or activities).
   • Do not let your partner control you or try to take control of your partner yourself. Setting boundaries means respecting each other and finding compromises to make the relationship work well.
4. Communicate clearly. Without clear communication, a relationship can quickly bring out the worst in people. When you have a wish or need, say it clearly to your partner. Don't be over the moon or say something you think your partner will like if it makes you unhappy yourself. Using "I" statements, try to express your feelings, make an observation, or share your opinion. Referring to yourself allows you to express yourself clearly and directly and take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings, while avoiding guilt and accusations towards others.
   • To communicate well, say something like: 'I think / think / want ... when ... because ...' For example: 'I hate it if you leave the door open because the room is cold and gets drafty. '
5. Express emotions. Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner and remain open to the feelings that arise. Show an interest in your partner's feelings and offer support in stressful situations. Connecting emotionally with your partner allows you to empathize with his or her experience.
   • If you feel emotionally disconnected from your partner, start asking questions about feelings (without blaming anyone or making assumptions). Discovering your partner's feelings can help you show more compassion.
6. Talk to each other. Make time to discuss the relationship regularly. Sometimes changes occur or agendas are too full, and you may not have time to focus on the other person or talk about things. You can talk about relationship goals and expectations, as these can sometimes change. Ignoring difficult topics or the hope that they will leave is one way to make a relationship crumble.
   • For example, you could ask how it is, such as, "Hey, are you okay after our disagreement yesterday?" I just wanted to make sure there are no bad feelings or things that we have not resolved. "
   • Ask your partner if you agree on expectations about your relationship. You can talk about moving, intimacy, marriage, children or plans to move. Be clear about what you want and what your partner's role is in this.

Part 2 of 3: Treat each other well

1. Create a foundation of respect. Relationships can be fun and exciting at first, but it's important to make sure you and your partner respect each other. Act in a way that demands respect from your partner. Strive to treat each other with respect at all times, even if you are angry with each other.
   • Your partner's wishes, thoughts, and feelings have value. Communicate to your partner that you consider the way they are feeling. Mutual respect is an important condition for a healthy relationship to work.
   • Talk to your partner about creating respect in your relationship. Decide what can and cannot be done, such as name calling or intimate touch.
   • You may want to introduce rules about "argue fair". These could be the following:
     • No demeaning language
     • No accusations
     • No shouting
     • No use of force
     • No divorce / split
     • Not telling your partner what to think / experience / feel
     • Stay in the present
     • Let each other speak out
     • Use timeouts when needed
2. Appreciate each other. A healthy relationship should be one in which you and your partner feel valued. Often relationships are built from many little things that come on top of each other. Notice when your partner does something for you and thank him or her for it. Rather than focusing on mistakes your partner makes, focus on how your partner contributes to your life. When you notice something, speak up and show your appreciation.
   • Ask your partner how they want to feel valued. Write a note or card, or make an effort to say "thank you" often.
   • Let your partner know how you would like to be valued. Say something like, "It means a lot to me if you notice what I do for you."
3. Spend time together. It is easy to switch from personal contact to digital communication. Yet sometimes meanings can be lost in translation or non-verbal communication eventually ceases to exist. Spending quality time together can help strengthen your relationship and the bond between you and your partner.
   • Find activities that you can do together on a regular basis. It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee together every morning or reading together in the evening.
   • Trying something new together can be a fun and exciting way to spend time together. You don't have to do anything crazy - even eating out at a new restaurant or trying a new regional cuisine can be a fun experience.
4. Give each other space. No one can fulfill everything and every role for someone else. Let your partner have time with friends and family and engage in hobbies. It is important that each person has their own friends and activities that can be enjoyed on their own. While you may want to spend every moment together in the beginning of the relationship, respect each other enough to spend time without each other and know that it doesn't mean anything negative to the relationship. Support your partner in maintaining friendships.
   • Don't give up on your friends or pressure your partner to give up on friends. It's important to have friends and trust the emotional support they provide. Also, don't let your partner dictate whether or not you can see your family.
5. Expect changes. Know that your relationship is likely to change. Allow growth for yourself, your partner and for the relationship itself. Realize that changes in your relationship are opportunities for new growth. Change is inevitable, so welcome changes and accept that the relationship will adapt.
   • If changes occur, take a deep breath and deal with them one by one.

Part 3 of 3: Improving an unhealthy relationship

1. See a therapist. If you are trapped in unhealthy patterns and want to break them, ask your partner to see a therapist together. A therapist can help you break through unhealthy patterns that you are trapped in, such as yelling, blaming, isolating, making assumptions, and not communicating effectively. It can also help you avoid emotions, change behavior, and change the way you view your relationship. Going to a therapist does not mean that your relationship is doomed - it means that you are willing to work together to improve the relationship.
   • For more information, see wikiHow for articles on relationship therapy.
2. Don't depend on each other. Malfunctioning behavior in a dependency relationship can appear as if one person is supporting or facilitating the other person's irresponsibility, immaturity, addiction, or ill health. If you are the "caregiver," you may feel guilty for not helping, even if you know it will harm your partner in the long run. Co-dependence or codependency is often rooted in childhood and can be accompanied by repressed feelings (say nothing when you want something, remain silent to avoid arguments) and an inability to say "no".
   • You and your partner can isolate themselves from other people and may eventually lose friends outside of your relationship.
   • Learn about codependency and spend some time identifying your self-defeating behavior (or that of your partner). You may want to discuss this - together or alone - with a therapist.
   • Read Knowing If You're Codependent for more information.
3. Respect your partner's privacy. A relationship doesn't mean you have to spend every moment together or share everything. Respect your partner's need for privacy and space. When jealousy shows up, you need to remind yourself that jealousy is something you feel but doesn't have to be directly related to your partner's actions.
   • Don't demand to know your partner's social media account or email passwords. Respect your partner's privacy and be willing to trust your partner.
   • It is not healthy for you or your partner to constantly monitor each other's behavior. This can be rooted in jealousy or control, which are not healthy components to bring into a relationship.
4. Pay attention to the warning signs of abuse. Relationships should be based on respect and equality, not power and control. While you may not think much about certain behaviors at first, disrespectful behavior sets a tone in a relationship. If your partner is possessive, insulting, demeaning, yelling, or disrespectful in any way, take note. There is no excuse for abuse. Abuse is a choice an individual makes and you don't have to be a victim of it.
   • To learn more about identifying potential abuse in a relationship, visit wikiHow.