Content

• Steps
• Advice

Whether a bad memory stems from an embarrassing moment or a traumatic event, it can remain in the mind over days, months, or years. Fortunately, there are ways to train your mind to deal with negative memories in a healthy way. Read below to find ways to dispel sad memories and alleviate all your worries by thinking about them.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Formulating the Healthy Thinking Method

1. 

   Avoid objects or places that elicit memory. Have you ever felt shock when you went to places or around objects that recall painful memories? You may not realize that they are the reminder. For example, your bad memory is tied to an incident in elementary school, and every time you pass by school, you remember it. If you change your morning commute and avoid passing school, you can keep your mind from thinking about painful memories on a regular basis.
   • If you can avoid the factors that trigger your bad memories entirely, you will eventually forget about it. You will have less reason to evoke memories, and as you continue with your everyday life, you will be able to replace bad memories with more important thoughts.
   • Of course, that doesn't mean you can avoid memory recall entirely, and maybe you don't want to change the route to work, or donate your sci-fi book collection, or Stop listening to your favorite music just because the last time you watched them perform was when your ex said goodbye. If you can't avoid the triggers, be it because there are too many factors or you don't want them to have the power to influence you, there are different ways you can cope with your sad memories. .

2. 

   
   
   Don't stop thinking about your memory until it loses its influence. In the first few times when you think about a bad memory, you may lose your guard and become anxious and feel inferior. Your instincts may find ways to avoid thinking about them as much as possible, but if you try to hold them back, you will give the memory more capacity to make the impact worse when the recollection happens. Instead of trying to erase your memories, think about what happened. Think about it often until it doesn't matter. And eventually, you will stop thinking too much about the memory, and when you can do this, you will stop feeling pain. If you feel burdened thinking about your traumatic past, take a walk or exercise quickly.
   • Remember that everything is in the past and try to relax. Whatever happened - people laughed at you, or you've been in a dangerous situation - everything is in the past.
   • In some cases, thinking about a sad memory can be haunting. Observe your emotions as you keep recalling memories. If you find that even if you deliberately reminisce about it, it still has the power to hurt you, use other methods to let go of your bad past.

3. 

   
   
   Try changing your memory. Every time you remember something, the memory changes a little. Your brain fills small gaps in your memories by replacing them with false information. You can take advantage of the way your brain functions to replace bad memories with other information. Eventually, you will be able to remember the memory the way you change it.
   • For example, suppose your childhood memory is riding a boat called "Pirate" with your father and walking around the lake. In memory, your father wore red shorts and sunglasses, yelled at you not to jump over the barrier on the boat and you fell into the lake. Friend sure that this is what happened, but a few years after you look back at the photo you took on that outing, you see your father in jeans, and the boat is called "Kingfisher". As you can see, memories are not always accurate, and they are subject to change.
   • Try changing the painful moments of the flashback. Using the example above, if you still remember the feeling of fear and helplessness when you fell into a lake, change it by focusing on how great it felt when your father saved you.
   • Every time you think about memories, they change a little differently. If you focus on the good feelings instead of always thinking about the sad feelings, your memories will change as you think. They won't change from a bad memory to a great one, of course, but they will lose the ability to hurt you.

4. 

   
   
   Focus on good memories. Sometimes our brains are "stuck" in a traumatic past. If you find yourself often immersed in sad memories, train your mind to turn to happy memories.Don't allow the unhappy past time to change your mood or make you nervous; instead, as sad memories start to creep into your mind, turn your thoughts toward happier things. Do not stop practicing to think positively until you no longer fall into the negative state of thinking about the past.
   • Try incorporating happy and sad memories together. For example, if you constantly think about the time you gave a clumsy presentation and made the class laugh at you, incorporate this memory into a memory of when you gave a good presentation and was praised. Always thinking about your good memories will help you avoid digging through your memory for positive thoughts when you're dealing with bad emotions.

5. 

   Learn to live in the present moment. To live in reality means "mindful". This means that you need to focus on the present rather than dwell on the past or worrying about the future. Being present is a great way to reduce stress and enjoy your life more. Instead of spending time and energy worrying about things that you cannot change, you need to learn to let go of the past and living with reality.
   • We are often "caught up" in daily activities and completely indifferent to everything that is happening around us. Instead of working in an "unconscious" state, spend some time focusing on even the smallest details, such as sounds or scents that you don't normally notice. This will help you redirect your brain's attention to the present rather than dwell on the past.
   • Repeat the phrase "reminder" as your thoughts drift to places you don't want to. For example, you can say to yourself, "I'm here" or "I'm still alive." Use statements that can help you return to the present.
   • Pay attention to your feelings in the present. Pay attention to your senses: what do you hear, what you see, what you taste and smell right now?
   • Try meditating. Most meditation techniques help you direct your attention to reality. Paying attention to your breathing and freeing your mind from all distractions helps you live more in reality. Regular practice of meditation not only helps you focus, but meditation is also thought to improve your mood.
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Part 2 of 3: Having an Objective View

1. 

   Consider what you learned from the event. Even the most awful experience can teach us a lesson. It can take a long time for you to realize the lesson, especially if the problem just happened. But if you can look back and find that you were wiser after going through situations, your bad memories lose the ability to influence you. Have you found a new hope that you never realized?
   • Remember that traumatic pasts are also a part of life. Difficulties will make us stronger, and help us to cherish the precious moments in life. If we do not encounter bad feelings, we will not know how to appreciate good feelings.
   • Try to see your luck. Even if negative memories cost you a lot in your life, make a list of the things you feel lucky to have had.

2. 

   Make happy memories. With time, bad memories will fade a little. You can speed up this process by living to the fullest every day and filling your memory with beautiful memories. Spend time doing things you enjoy with the people you love. The more beautiful memories formed, the more bad memories will be forgotten.
   • Go to places you've never been to, because that way you will have new experiences that will not be "tainted" by the past. Book a plane ticket to a new city, or become a traveler in your own city and go to a neighbor you rarely see.
   • If you don't feel like traveling, change your routine a bit. Go eat at a new restaurant you've never been to, cook a complicated dish, or invite friends over for dinner.

3. 

   Keep busy. Fill up your schedule and stay focused, and you won't have time to think negatively. If you are too busy with daily tasks, take time to meet friends, or visit family more often. You can focus on reading a book or creating a new hobby that distracts your mind. If you spend too much time “idling,” it will be easier to reflect on the negative past. Here are a few great ways to keep you busy:
   • Take a sports class, like soccer or kickboxing. If you don't like sports, challenge yourself to walking a few kilometers a day, or learn yoga. Challenging yourself physically is a great way to free your thoughts from negative thoughts. Exercise also helps the brain release endorphins that improve mood.
   • Create a new product. You can make a dress, draw a picture, or write music. When you put your energy into creating a finished product, you won't have a lot of time to think about bad memories.
   • Join volunteering. Helping others is a great way to keep you from thinking about your problems.

4. 

   Do not use alcohol or tobacco. Using brain meds can make the situation worse. If a painful memory makes you feel depressed or anxious. Alcohol increases the level of depression, irritability, and anxiety, especially for those who are experiencing these symptoms. To keep your mind on a positive note, it's best to limit or completely avoid alcohol or tobacco use.
   • Using alcohol and tobacco as a way to let go of the traumatic past, or as a way to avoid negative thoughts often leads to addiction. If you feel the need to use alcohol or tobacco every time you want to forget bad memories, seek out someone who can help you.
   • Other forms of running away from the past should be avoided. If you have a tendency to gamble, overeat, or have unhealthy habits every time you want to avoid negative feelings, you need to recognize your behavior and control it, or you can cope with it on your own, or seek help from therapists or support groups.

5. 

   Put health first. When you are affected by negative thoughts, it can be difficult to remember to take care of yourself. But staying healthy has a huge effect on how you think about it. Eating nutrient-rich foods, getting enough sleep, and exercising a few times a week will help you forget bad memories. In addition to meeting your body's needs, take some time to take care of yourself a little to reduce anxiety.
   • Eat a balanced diet that includes fresh fruits, lean meats, whole grains and healthy fats.
   • Set a goal of exercising for 30 minutes to 1 hour a day, even if it means walking long distances after work.
   • Try to get 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night, as exhaustion can cause your mood to fluctuate and focus on bad memories more easily.
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Part 3 of 3: Overcoming Tragic Memories

1. 

   Face painful memories. Learn to acknowledge a sad memory and deal with the negative emotions it brings. While it may sound unscientific, releasing emotions is key to the recovery process. Suppressing the emotion will make it more explosive in the future. Allow yourself to feel angry, sad, embarrassed, or in pain. If you want to cry or scream, do as you please. This will make it easier for you to cope with your future emotions than to try to forget the pain.

2. 

   Share with someone. Get help from a trusted friend or relative. Others will advise, share about similar experiences, and may even reassure you that things are not as bad as you might think. If possible, talk to someone who was not involved in the incident; because they will show you the beautiful perspective you need.
   • Consider joining a support group.Look for a support group for people in your area like you. There are many support groups that help people who get divorced, broken up, have chronic illnesses, and more.
   • If you don't feel comfortable sharing your experiences with others, write it down in your journal and keep it hidden where no one can find it.

3. 

   Consider using psychotherapy. If you feel like friends and family are not helping you much, seeing a professional may be the right choice. Since what you tell your doctor about is confidential, there's no need to hide it or feel embarrassed.
   • A therapist will help you find the cause and help you overcome the pain. Your doctor will practice techniques for you to work through painful memories.
   • Cognitive behavioral therapy is considered to be a useful therapy for people with trauma. You can find a therapist who specializes in this area.

4. 

   Find out if you have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD can develop after a terrible and terrible experience, such as being sexually harassed, having a serious accident, or having a debilitating illness. For people with PTSA, the memory of the trauma cannot fade. And they will always be worried that things will happen the same way again. If you think you have PTSD, you need to see a psychiatrist because you cannot face it on your own.
   • Symptoms of PTSA include flashbacks, nightmares, and panic thoughts.
   • You may feel emotionless, depressed, or constantly anxious, and always feel like you are on the edge of an abyss.

5. 

   Seek special treatment. If you feel “trapped” in your memory or in a traumatic experience, there are many therapies that can help. These treatments are often accompanied by psychotherapy for best results. Make an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss if you need special treatment so that you can completely forget the bad memories are affecting your life.
   • First, a psychiatrist will treat it with medication. Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications are often prescribed for patients who have difficulty stopping negative thoughts.
   • Body therapy is a way to get back to the true feeling of your body. This helps you focus on the body's "fight or run" instinct, and once real danger is not present, the mechanism is not activated.
   • Electric shock therapy is an effective way to relieve you of trauma when other options are ineffective.
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Advice

• Changing the name of your memory can help trick your brain into changing its focus. For example, instead of mentioning a "bad" memory, change the name to a "in the past" memory. Repeating the word "bad" in your head only makes it feel "bad" more.
• Don't spend too much time in the traumatic phase. Sadness is a natural reaction after experiencing an unpleasant event, but it's important to remember when it's enough to get out of this stage and start a normal life.
• No matter how bad the past is, it is just the past; don't let the past affect your present and future because the past is over, unless you have the ability to go back in time you can't change it, so bury the past and try Try hard and cheer up!