Content

• Steps
• Part 1 of 4: Starting a Conversation
• Part 2 of 4: One-to-One Conversation
• Part 3 of 4: Group Conversation
• Part 4 of 4: Conversation at school
• Tips
• Warnings

Some people don't need to tell stories or put in witty jokes. If you are a taciturn person or an introvert, it may be difficult for you to just talk to a stranger. However, you can learn to speak not only more, but also more meaningful, which will make you a great conversationalist. This article will show you how to start and maintain a conversation.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Starting a Conversation

1. 1 Start with something that is interesting for both you and your interlocutor to talk about. In most cases, we are held back from starting a conversation by the fear that we will approach the interlocutor, but we will have nothing to say. To avoid this, follow these steps.
   • Assess your surroundings. If you are in a class with other students, you can always start by talking about school. If you are at a party, talk about it. Even a simple question such as, “What do you think of this area?” Can be the start of a conversation.
   • You shouldn't approach a stranger and start a conversation with silly or obscene jokes. Asking, “Do you by any chance know how much a polar bear weighs?”, You most likely will not be able to start a conversation.
2. 2 Remember four winning topics to start a conversation with, both acquaintances and strangers: family, work, leisure, goals.
   • Family
     • "How is your mother?" or "How are your parents doing?"
     • "How many brothers and sisters do you have?"
     • "Are you relaxing with your family?"
   • Work
     • "What do you do?" or "Do you like your new job?"
     • "What's interesting at work?" or "What's going on in the office?"
     • "What kind of people do you work with?"
   • Rest
     • "What do you do in your free time?" or "How can we have fun?"
     • "How long have you been doing this?"
     • "Do you have friends with whom you do this?"
   • Goals
     • "What will you do after you leave school?" or “Do you think you will work for a long time in this place? What are you dreaming about?"
     • "What are your plans?"
3. 3 Ask open-ended questions. It is very important to start a conversation and talk to the other person, and not chat about yourself. Open-ended questions give other people the opportunity to open up, and you better respond to their comments and keep the conversation going.
   • People, as a rule, give detailed answers to open-ended questions. Asking, "How are you?" You might get the answer, "OK," so better ask, "What did you do today?" And you start a conversation.
   • Open-ended questions do not have definite answers - "yes" or "no". Do not ask closed-ended questions such as "What's your name?" or “Do you come here often?”; so you don't strike up a conversation.
4. 4 Think back to previous conversations. Sometimes it's harder to talk to someone you know than to a stranger. If you already know something about this person, try to remember previous conversations with him and look for additional questions you can ask:
   • "What were you doing before we met?"
   • "How is your project? Have you finished it? "
   • "How was your holiday?"
5. 5 Be not only a talkative person, but also a good listener. Good conversation is built on both the ability to maintain the conversation and the ability to listen to the interlocutor.
   • Look at the other person and nod your head when you agree with them. Ask clarifying questions: “Wow! What happened then? " or "How will it turn out?"
   • Listen carefully and react to what the other person is saying. Practice rephrasing what is said by saying, "What you said was ..." or "You are talking about ..."
   • Don't keep the conversation going by interrupting the other person or talking only about yourself. Listen and react to what the interlocutor tells you.
6. 6 Learn to read the body language of the person you are talking to. Some people just don't want to talk, and you won't make things better if you insist on talking. Learn to recognize closed body language, and in such cases, switch to someone else.
   • Closed body language involves looking over your head and wandering around the room (as if the other person is looking for a way out). Also, the crossed arms or the shoulder of the interlocutor directed towards you indicate an unwillingness to talk.
   • Open body language involves leaning slightly towards you and making eye contact with you.
7. 7 Smile. People are much more willing to talk to those who seem like an open and friendly person. So smile more and use open body language.
   • You don't have to look like a grinning idiot; just make it clear that you are happy to be in this place (even if you are not). Don't frown or make your face sour. Raise your eyebrows and chin and smile.

Part 2 of 4: One-to-One Conversation

1. 1 Look for topics of conversation. Good conversationalists make this easy, but you can learn to find more and more topics of conversation, which will help you chat with other people. It's kind of an art, but there are some tricks to help you develop it in yourself.
   • Ask about the other person's experience on a specific topic. If someone mentions running in the morning, ask how long they have been doing it, whether they like it, where they run and other related questions.
   • Ask the other person for their opinion on a specific topic. If anyone mentioned that they worked at McDonald's as a student, ask their opinion of the institution.
   • Always ask clarifying questions: "Why?" or how?". Smile as you do this to avoid embarrassment and to show that you're really just curious.
2. 2 Don't be afraid to ask for details. People love to talk about themselves, so feel free to ask their opinions and details of what they are talking about. Some people are more private, so they don't like to go into details, but others will enjoy the opportunity to share their opinions with those who are interested in it.
   • You can always "back up" by saying, "Sorry, I didn't mean to interfere, I'm just curious."
3. 3 Think aloud. Do not be silent while pondering the answer, but start it by rephrasing what your interlocutor said. If you are a shy person, then most likely you are pondering every phrase you are about to say; but it is often easier to maintain a conversation if you say everything, especially without thinking.
   • Many people worry about not saying something wrong, but this tends to lead to unnatural phrases and awkward pauses. If you want to become more talkative, practice responding even if you're not sure what you are going to say.
4. 4 Feel free to switch to other topics. If the topic has dried up, and you have not switched to another, then there will be an awkward pause in the conversation. In this case, just switch to another topic, even if it has nothing to do with the previous one.
   • If you drink something and talk about football, but the topic of football has become obsolete, ask: "What is this cocktail made of?" Talk about drinks while you think about other topics.
   • Chat about what you want to talk about and what you are well aware of. A subject that you are well versed in may be of interest to other people.
5. 5 Be informed about current events. If you don't know what to talk about, current events are a lucrative topic, since the person you are talking to has most likely heard or read about them as well.
   • You don't even need to know the details of recent events to start a conversation. Just ask, “What is this big scandal in the government? I don't know the details. Can you tell us? "
   • Never think that your interlocutor knows nothing about the topic of conversation, even if it is very specific, otherwise your explanation will be considered condescending.

Part 3 of 4: Group Conversation

1. 1 Speak more loudly. Conversation in a group of people is sometimes more difficult than one-on-one. But if you want to be heard, learn to speak louder.
   • Many people who are shy or withdrawn do not speak very loudly. There are more extroverts and loud speakers in groups, so you will have to adapt your voice to the group.
   • Try this: raise your voice to the level of the other participants in the conversation, but then lower it to a natural level when you get the group's attention.
2. 2 Don't wait for a pause in your conversation. Sometimes a conversation in a group is like a busy street: you wait for a gap in the traffic to wedge into it, but you can't wait. The secret is that you shouldn't wait for your turn in a group conversation (you may not wait at all), so feel free to interrupt others to join the conversation.
   • Try not to interrupt people by just getting your point across. First, say something like: "Wait ..." or "I want to say ...", and then let the other person finish his thought. This will grab attention without interrupting others.
3. 3 Use body language. If you have something to say, look at who's speaking, lean forward a little, and use open body language to let the other person know you want to speak.
   • Sometimes, if you feel like you won't be able to break into the conversation, you will be frustrated and abstract from the conversation. But this will only complicate the situation and prevent other interlocutors from knowing that you want to say something.
4. 4 Express an alternative point of view. In a group, conversation can quickly get boring if everyone is expressing the same point of view. In this case, try yourself in the role of "devil's advocate". If you disagree with the general opinion of the group, express it carefully.
   • Condense controversy by saying, "I think I look at this a little differently" or "This is a good argument, but I'm not sure I agree with it."
   • You should not express the opposite point of view just because you want to participate in the conversation, especially if you cannot support such a point of view with reliable arguments. But if you really disagree, feel free to state it.
5. 5 Start another conversation if needed. Some people find it difficult to communicate in groups, but very easy one-on-one. This is not unusual. Recent research has shown that most people fall into two categories: those who like to have one-on-one conversations and those who prefer group conversations.
   • If you want to talk to someone in a group of people, but cannot do it, step aside with the right person and talk one-on-one. Then talk to other people in the group in the same way. It won't sound rude if you take the time to talk to everyone you are talking to.

Part 4 of 4: Conversation at school

1. 1 Consider a comment. A conversation in school is fundamentally different from other conversations; here, much of what may seem inconvenient during informal conversations is quite appropriate and even recommended. The best example of this is in group discussions, where it is appropriate to think through and even write down your comments and observations that you might want to share with other students.
   • By and large, it is very difficult to recall directly at the lecture everything that you wanted to say or ask. Therefore, jot down your questions, comments, and observations and bring your notes to class. There is nothing wrong.
2. 2 Ask questions. If you don't understand something, raise your hand and ask a question. There is a rule - if one student raises his hand and asks incomprehensible moments, then five students do not understand the same moments, but they are embarrassed to raise their hand and ask a question. Be bolder.
   • Ask questions that will benefit the whole class when answered. Don't raise your hand and ask something like, "Why did I get an A for this test?"
3. 3 Encourage other students to comment. If you are having a group discussion and are unable to participate in it, simply support the opinions of other students; so it will seem to everyone that you are speaking, when in fact you are not.
   • Wait for someone to comment, then say “I agree” and rephrase that comment.
4. 4 Learn to paraphrase ideas from other students and dilute them a little with your own thoughts. This is a great way to contribute to a discussion on a subject when you have nothing to say because everything has already been said before you.
   • If someone says, “I think this book is about family relationships and the secrets hidden by all members of this family.” Paraphrase and say: “I agree. I think the novel describes the patriarchal relationship between father and son, especially in the fall of the main character. "
   • Find a quote or description of a key issue in the book in question that illustrates a point from another student.
5. 5 During the lecture, try to speak at least once to make it clear to the teacher that you are following the lesson. It will also save you from asking the teacher if he decides to interview inactive students. Think about a question or comment, ask or voice it, and then sit and listen to the lecture.

Tips

• Do something that will give you a little confidence, like put on nice clothes, do good makeup, grab some chewing gum, and so on.
• Try to just be yourself while remaining friendly and happy.
• Don't think ahead of what you're going to say, write down phrases and sentences before speaking, and don't worry about every word you say (otherwise you won't say a single word at all).
• Go with the flow.Behave naturally: talk about the world around you, current things, recent events, and so on. Remember freedom of speech.

Warnings

• Don't talk to unpleasant or unfriendly people just to prove to yourself that you are more talkative.
• Calm people and introverts should not try to change themselves based on the principles outlined in this article.
• If you are an introvert and feel completely satisfied, don't try to change. Just do what suits your nature.