Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Deal with a lie that happened only once
• Method 2 of 3: Deal with a friend's lying habit
• Method 3 of 3: Assess the Future of Friendship
• Tips

When you find out that your best friend lied to you, you are likely to get very upset. You may even be tempted to give up friendship and end it forever. Before making a rash decision, try to get to the bottom of the problem, especially if it happened only once. If your friend is constantly lying to you, take action to deal with the problem and decide how you want to communicate with that person in the future.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Deal with a lie that happened only once

1. 1 Find out the person's motive. People lie for a variety of reasons and, as a rule, everything is rather ambiguous. While your friend's lies probably hurt you, it may not have been his intention. Think about the reason behind the lie.
   • For what purpose did he lie? Did it save him from trouble, allowed him to put himself in a good light in front of other people, or saved someone from pain or resentment?
   • For example, a friend may have told you that he is not dating anyone, but later you learned that he is secretly in a relationship. Perhaps he lied because he was not ready to introduce his girlfriend or was not sure if the relationship was serious.
2. 2 Analyze your own actions. The friend may have lied because of excessive pressure or influence from you or another person. To see if this is so, look back and reflect on your behavior before you were lied to.
   • Did you do or say anything that influenced the lie?
   • For example, your best friend didn’t tell you that he saw your girlfriend with someone else because you inadvertently noted that “everyone is trying to separate you.” He probably lied to avoid being accused of trying to ruin your relationship.
3. 3 Get an outside opinion. Get a second opinion before taking any action. Talk to a parent, brother, sister, or other close friend about what happened. Telling the other person about the events may help you see the situation from a different perspective.
   • Say something like: “Hi Rita, I'm worried that Alina is not saying something. Have you found her behavior suspicious lately? "
4. 4 Be straightforward. Direct and honest conversation is arguably the best way to deal with your best friend's lies. Remain calm, point out the lie, and ask for an explanation. Use first-person statements to keep the person in a defensive posture.
   • You might say, “I know you lied to me about your plans for this weekend. I heard you talking to Sasha on the phone. Tell me why didn't you tell me the truth? "
   • If you are with a friend, you can take him aside for a private conversation.
5. 5 Play yourself a fool and ask for more information. Don't let your friend know that you smell something. Continue the conversation by asking him for more information. Ask clarifying questions to help uncover the truth.
   • Let's say a friend is lying and says, "I didn't do anything this weekend, I was just studying." Don't say, "You're lying!"
   • Take a more subtle approach, for example, “Hmm, this is weird. Anton said he saw you by the river on Saturday. He must have been wrong, right? "
6. 6 Laugh it off. Act like this lie was funny. Make humorous digressions to get your friend to tell the truth.
   • You can say: "Wow, why would your ears turn red?"
   • By making it clear that you know about the lie, but without engaging in direct confrontation, you can ease the tension and it will be easier for you to get to the bottom of the truth.
7. 7 Ignore lies. As hard as it is, sometimes lying isn't worth the effort. If a friend's lie is minor and doesn't hurt anyone, just ignore it. There is no point in creating negativity between you because of harmless lies.

Method 2 of 3: Deal with a friend's lying habit

1. 1 Express your concern. It's frustrating to see your best friend lie for no apparent reason. Instead of lashing out at him in anger, show compassion for him and tell him that you are worried. Let him know that you don't want to deal with cheating, and also ask if he can be honest with you.
   • You can say: “Katya, I noticed that you lie more or more often. I'm really worried. Do you want to talk to me about this? " Let the person know that you know about their lies.If you don't talk to him frankly, the situation is likely to get worse.
2. 2 Don't give in. If a person lies mechanically, then one of the options for dealing with this is not to pay attention. Don't ask questions. Don't make any comments. Just look at your friend with a blank expression.
   • Perhaps this way he will understand that you do not succumb to his lies, and will stop constantly lying.
3. 3 Limit the amount of information you share with him. If you get the feeling that your friend is regularly hiding things from you, you may need to reevaluate your trust in him. Step back and do not share personal details about your life with him if he does not reciprocate with you.
   • Let him know that you’ll be happy to open up more when he’s willing to do the same in return.
4. 4 Talk to someone you trust. Some people lie because they cannot control themselves. Pathological liars may need professional help to deal with this problem. If you suspect that your friend is lying without even thinking, it may be worth telling the person who can help.
   • Consider talking to your parents, a friend's parents, a teacher, or another trusted adult. Find out if this person noticed a problem with your friend's lying.
   • Team up with this person to come up with the best plan of action to help your friend. He may need to see a professional psychologist or psychotherapist to understand what lies at the heart of his tendency to lie.
   • If you've witnessed the devastating consequences of a friend's lies, use these examples to convince them to seek help. For example, you might say, “Because of your lies, you got fired from two jobs in the last month. It hurts me to see you like this. It will be much easier for me if you go to a psychologist. "

Method 3 of 3: Assess the Future of Friendship

1. 1 Be condescending. To be a great friend, you need to be able to forgive. Try to forgive your friend if you realize they had good intentions.
   • You might even say, "This time I forgive you, but next time, please tell me the truth."
2. 2 Set clear boundaries. Boundaries are essential for strong and healthy friendships. If your friend knows you value honesty, they are more likely to tell the truth.
   • Express personal boundaries by saying, “I appreciate it when my friends are honest and straightforward. I don't want to be around people who lie and manipulate others. I'm sure you can understand that. "
3. 3 Step back a little if the lie is destructive. Despite the fact that sometimes we all cheat a little, lying too much is toxic to friendship. If your friend’s lies regularly hurt you or get you in trouble, you may need to reconsider your relationship with that friendship.
   • Stop spending a lot of time with this friend. If he asks what happened, you can answer: “I like to be friends with you, but your lies are getting out of hand. I will not put up with this behavior. "

Tips

• Realize that we all sometimes lie. Without a doubt, lying can be frustrating. However, be prepared to accept that this happens sometimes. Each person lies at one point or another - sometimes 2 to 3 times during a 10-minute conversation.