Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 4: Improve Your Environment
• Method 2 of 4: Develop Communication Skills
• Method 3 of 4: Behave Properly with Evil People
• Method 4 of 4: Get support
• Tips

It is possible that not everyone hates you, but it is difficult for you to find your place at school. It is possible that rumors were spread about you and people began to avoid you. Maybe you are somehow different from others: you are poorer than your classmates, belong to a different nationality, have a disability. You may be haunted by feelings of loneliness or misunderstanding. You need to realize that you are able to cope with these feelings and enjoy life.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Improve Your Environment

1. 1 Please be kind. Remain nice, even if everyone at school tries to insult you. Don't gossip or gossip. Be polite and friendly during conversations. If you behave well, then no one can say anything bad about you.
   • Smile at people and feel free to make eye contact.
2. 2 Start journaling. Let all the painful emotions out. Write down anything you want to say out loud but are afraid or shy. Describe the events and your feelings.
   • You can put all your feelings on paper and then carefully burn the note.
   • A diary is especially helpful if you are shy about expressing your feelings.
3. 3 Build your confidence. Exercise is a great way to deal with stress and believe in yourself. If you are not ready to go to the gym, then there are many other options: start jumping over a trampoline, walking your dog, or cycling.
   • You can also practice dancing, martial arts, or ice skating. Choose an activity that suits you!
   • Acquire new skills. New abilities increase your confidence in your abilities, and also allow you to see that you are not standing still.
4. 4 Sign up for a club or sports section. If you think that no one likes you, then try becoming a member of a club or sports team and find friends there who share your interests. Many schools have theater clubs, wall newspapers, a poetry club, music and sports sections. Outside the school, you can practice martial arts, dance, or spiritual education.
   • Choose an activity that suits your interests. You may feel uncomfortable at first, but at least give it a try.
   • Sometimes the most difficult thing is to come to the first lesson. You may feel anxious or feel like everyone will dislike you and ignore you. Get it out of your head! Try to go to at least one class.
   • Remember that all members of a team or section have a common interest. Try to get to know other participants by asking them the question: “When did you first become interested in photography?”, “How long have you been into karate?” or "Who is your favorite poet?"
5. 5 Focus on the positive. Learn to change your perception and not think that all people are evil or that no one loves you. You don't have to replay unpleasant situations in your mind over and over again. When you think about negative moments from the past, you are actually giving your offenders fresh strength. Start building your strength and thinking of yourself in a positive way.
   • It's easy to get stuck on being rejected (“What did I do? Could I have done otherwise? Why are they so angry?”), But try to get out of this vicious circle as soon as possible. Such people do not define you as a person, and their opinion remains only an opinion, not a fact.
   • Think about your positive qualities (kindness, compassion, caring and generosity) and your unique abilities (a good dancer and older brother).

Method 2 of 4: Develop Communication Skills

1. 1 Follow people with advanced communication skills. Often shy and restless in society, people who find it difficult to communicate with others are too fixated on themselves and their successes or failures in communication. Observe those students who are popular at school, get along well with others, and have made many friends. What makes everyone like these people? Watch their posture, gestures, facial expressions. Pay attention to how they interact with other people at school.
   • Notice what positive things this person brings to social interaction, and then try repeating them yourself.
   • If you focus on yourself, it's easy to miss out on subtle cues from other people. First, try to notice such hints in others so that you can discern them later in conversations.
2. 2 Gestures and facial expressions. If you cross your arms and legs and look down, then those around you are unlikely to take you for a kind and welcoming interlocutor. Make sure your body language is as open as possible: turn to face people, smile, nod your head, and maintain eye contact. Try not to cross your arms and legs, or hunch over or straighten your shoulders.
   • You don't have to keep eye contact to make eye contact. It can be other points of the face: cheeks, forehead, nose, mouth. If you have previously avoided eye contact, it will be difficult at first. Do not give up.
3. 3 Be a good listener. Don't assume that you are 100% responsible for continuing the conversation. If you only think about your next line, you may be missing out on important details of the conversation. It is best to listen to your interlocutor and ask clarifying questions. For example, if a person said to you, “I like digging in the garden,” then ask “What flowers and plants do you like?” or “When did you start to get involved in this?”.
   • Active listeners follow what is being told to them, and also show interest in the person and the topic of the conversation. Don't be afraid to nod your head, say "Well yes", "Seriously?" or “Wow!” to show you are interested.
4. 4 Develop communication skills. Theory is one thing, but practice is quite another! Use your skills in conversations with loved ones, and then try to use them in school. You need to use your skills as often as possible to behave as naturally as possible.
   • Step out of your comfort zone if need be! Over time, it will become easier for you.

Method 3 of 4: Behave Properly with Evil People

1. 1 Walk away. Walking away from the bully will show that that person has no control over your actions and emotions. You have to be on the same level to give the person a fight. Now this is completely useless, so you should not waste your energy on this situation.
   • You always decide how you react. Should I get into a skirmish? It might be better to just walk away and not bother.
2. 2 Refuse. If someone sticks to you or incites you into an argument, then calmly say that you are not going to get into a fight. A person is only capable of harassing you if he gains power over your emotions. If you show that you do not care about him, then the abuser will simply lose interest in you.
   • If the person is persistent, then ignore him.
   • Say "I don't want to talk to you" or "I'm not interested in this." Remember that your reaction to the situation is entirely up to you. Don't waste your time.
3. 3 Take a broader view of the situation. Ask yourself: “Will I remember this situation in a year? And in 5 years? How will this affect my life? ”. If the answer is negative, it is better to direct the forces in a different direction.
   • Also estimate how long these people will stay in your life. If you are going to become a university student or move, then soon enough you will forget about them.
4. 4 You're kidding. If someone is trying to offend you, try to answer the offender with a joke. Humor can disarm and confuse your opponent. Also, humor shows that other people have no power over you.
   • If you manage to joke back, it is likely that the abuser will lose interest in you.
   • If someone tries to laugh at your shoe size, say, “You're right. I tried to get a role in The Lord of the Rings, but it turned out that I didn't have enough hairy legs. "

Method 4 of 4: Get support

1. 1 Talk to your parents. They will always help and support you. If you find it difficult, then ask your parents for advice or help. They can talk about how they had a hard time at your age and how they managed to cope with the troubles at school.
2. 2 Make friends. Other children at school may share your fate. Start chatting with those who are also harassed by other students. They may be victims of insults, rumors, or newcomers who find it difficult to adjust. Offer them your friendship, understanding, and support.
   • If someone at school hurts you and your friends, talk to that person together. Strength is manifested in numbers, and unity will endow you with persuasion.
3. 3 Talk to a teacher or school counselor. If you are bullied at school, be sure to tell an adult you trust. You can just discuss the situation or try to defend justice. Even if the conversation doesn't change the situation, it can help you change your attitude towards it.
   • You can talk to a teacher, a friend's parents, or a priest.
4. 4 See a psychotherapist. If you are constantly harassed at school and there is nothing you can do about it, then ask your parents to sign you up for a therapist. He will help you deal with emotions, overcome negative feelings, and better understand yourself.
   • Meeting with a therapist does not mean that you are “crazy” or unable to solve your problems. You only ask for help from a person who knows how to understand the situation.
5. 5 Treat yourself with compassion. Even if it is very difficult for you, do not forget that you still deserve respect from other people and, most importantly, from yourself.You are a worthy and significant person regardless of how others treat you. You should remember that someone else's perception does not define you as a person, you yourself decide what kind of person to be. Be kind to yourself. Stop harassing yourself (“I'm so stupid” or “No one loves me”), become your best friend and support.
   • Learn to refute negative thoughts about yourself. If you think “I’m stupid,” then remember all those moments in which you showed intelligence (not necessarily in school). You can be a good mathematician, carpenter, or have the ability to find a way out of difficult situations.

Tips

• You should never consider yourself an outcast or a loner. Each person is significant and unique.