Content

• Steps
• Method 1 of 3: Raise This Topic
• Method 2 of 3: Move on with your companion
• Method 3 of 3: Tell your child about a new partner
• Tips
• Warnings

Being a single mother is rewarding but hard work, but it can get a lot more difficult if you decide to date again. If you start dating a new person, tell him right away that you have a child so he doesn't feel like you're trying to hide something. Fortunately, many people do not mind building a relationship with a person who has children, and some even prefer these options!

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Raise This Topic

1. 1 Tell your partner about the baby as early as possible. The longer you delay with this news, the more difficult it will be to communicate it. In addition, it may seem to the person that you are trying to hide the fact that you have a child. Of course, you should not state this right off the bat, but you should frankly admit it from the very beginning.
   • By reporting the presence of a baby early on, you can also weed out any potential partners who are not happy with the relationship with a single mother. Don't worry, it just means that they are at a different stage in their life than yours. There are many people who are not against children at all!
2. 2 Jokingly mention the child if you need to break the ice. Don't push yourself too hard and don't feel like this has to be a serious, exhausting conversation. A casual mention of having a baby will show the person that you enjoy being a mom. If you don't know how to approach this topic, try some humor!
   • For example, if the conversation is easy, say something like, “It's great to have adult conversations. I spent all day discussing with my 3-year-old son which mask is the coolest in PJ Masks! "
   • If your partner asks if you've seen any good films lately, you might say, "Well, my 12-year-old daughter is obsessed with musicals right now, so I watched Hairspray three times this week, does that count?"
   • Pay attention to the reaction of your companion, but do not attach too much importance to it. If he seems surprised, change the subject and give him some time to get used to the information.
3. 3 Ask your companion if he has children if you are afraid to talk about yours. When you are talking, trying to get to know each other better, ask: "Do you have children?" You might be surprised to learn that you are not the only single parent at the table! Even if your partner doesn't have children, this is an easy way to bring the topic up. This will make her fit into the conversation more organically.
   • If your companion has children, say something like, “This is great! I also have an eight-year-old child! "
   • If your companion says that he has no children, you can answer naturally, for example: "And I have a little son, and he is so funny!"
4. 4 Be positive about your child. Saying that being a single mother is a burden or something to be ashamed of can make your companion feel like it is a negative part of your life. However, if you speak with confidence and optimism, the other person is more likely to look at you as a strong person dealing with a difficult situation.
   • You might say something like, “I love being a mom! It's not always easy, but my 5 year old daughter is very smart and she really motivates me to do my best every day! "
5. 5 Tell us more about the situation when you feel comfortable. You shouldn't share the details of why you are a single mother, but provide a few details about this situation. In particular, letting your partner know that the other party is not taking part in your life can reassure him.
   • For example, you might say, "My daughter's father died when she was a baby," or, "His father got married again and they see each other next weekend."
   • You should not speak negatively about your father, even if you broke up on an ugly note. This will negatively affect your child, and your companion may think that you will speak badly about him too if the relationship ends.
   • Remember, you don't have to disclose details that you are uncomfortable with sharing. Keeping your past to yourself is okay, especially in the early stages of dating. As you get closer, you can gradually share stories of your past.
6. 6 Be honest about what you expect from the relationship. If you are dating because you want to find a serious partner, you should let your date know early on that you are interested in a long-term relationship. However, if at the moment you just want a no-obligation relationship, be honest about it as well.
   • If you are hoping to find a serious relationship, you can say something like, "I really hope to meet someone who will stay with me for a long time," or, "I'm looking for someone with the same long-term goals as mine."
   • If you just want periodic meetings, say, “I'm not looking for anything serious. I just want to have fun until I figure out what to do next. "
   • Whatever the goal, it is worth discussing your expectations with the person early on to help them understand their role in the relationship. It will also give him the opportunity to retreat immediately if the circumstances do not suit him.

Method 2 of 3: Move on with your companion

1. 1 If the man has some concerns, reassure him that you are in no hurry. If the person seems to be unsure about dating a single mother, but at the same time he likes you, let him know that you are not in a hurry to look for a new dad for your child and you are not looking for a serious relationship.
   • Try saying something like, "We're doing great on our own, but it's really important for me to still enjoy the adult relationship."
2. 2 Do not take a refusal personally. Sometimes you can meet a person who is simply not ready for having children in his life. This can be difficult to accept, especially if you really like the man, but try to remind yourself that this does not mean that something is wrong with you. It's just the situation that you both are in. Respect his choice and keep looking for the person who is right for you.
   • If rejection makes you unhappy with yourself, boost your self-esteem by making a list of reasons why you are a great party. Reread the list whenever in doubt about your worth.
   • Remind yourself it's best to know early on that the person is not interested in dating a single mother. The rejection will be much more painful later, when you are more immersed in the relationship.
3. 3 Take your time to introduce your partner to your child. Even if your companion is completely comfortable with your status as a single mother, you should still wait. Before introducing a man to a child, you need to make sure that your relationship is stable and serious. As a rule, one should wait a few months before introducing the companion to the child.
   • Children easily become attached to other people, and it can be very difficult for a child to cope with the constant flow of men entering and leaving his life, especially if he has already experienced a separation from his parents.
   • If you're not sure where you are, talk to your partner to assess how serious your relationship is. Ask a simple question such as, "So, are we officially a couple?" Or, "Where do you think this is going to go?" This will help you determine if you are on the same wavelength.
   • When the time is right, try arranging the meeting in a way that makes your child comfortable, such as inviting a companion home to eat pizza and watch a movie.
   • If you live with an ex-partner, consider setting up a meeting with your child in neutral territory, outside the home.
4. 4 Find a good balance for parenting together. If the father of the child is present in your life, you need to find a good role for him, comparable to that which will be played by your companion in parenting. A good way to do this is to sit down with the baby's new partner and father and have an open and honest conversation to develop a co-parenting plan.
   • Make it clear that your new partner is not a father figure. However, the role of each person will depend on how much the father is involved in the children's lives.
   • For example, sometimes a child lives half the time with his father or spends weekends with him, respectively, the father plays a significant role in his upbringing. However, if the child sees his father very rarely, one can hardly speak of a serious influence of the father on the upbringing of the child.
   • Be careful not to let your companion into parenting too early unless absolutely necessary.

Method 3 of 3: Tell your child about a new partner

1. 1 Have a short, casual, age-appropriate conversation with your child. You should never lie to your child about your personal life, but that also does not mean that you should give him all the details. If you are going out on a date, tell them where you are going. Use their age and maturity level as a guide for how to conduct the conversation.
   • For example, you might say to a small child, “Mommy is going to visit a friend for a few hours, and you’ll stay with your grandmother for now. I love you!"
   • To an older child, you can say this: “The guy from work takes me to the cinema. It's not serious yet, but I'll keep you informed! "
2. 2 Maintain consistency in parenting, no matter what. It is important for your child to know that regardless of the presence of other people in your life, your relationship with him will not change. From an early stage, set clear boundaries and the role that your partner will play in your child's life. Even if he comes every day or moves to you, you still need to be the main caregiver and leader in the house, and it is you who should make the important decisions that affect your child.
   • Stick to the same household rules and expectations for children that you have always had, and ask your partner to adjust to these circumstances.
   • Any new partner must also respect the role that the father plays in the child's life.
3. 3 Be patient if the child does not accept your companion. Changes are really hard for kids, and even if you are dating a really good person, your child may roll up scenes and be rude to your partner. It's not about him, but about the situation. Don't try to get your child to love the person, but ask them to be polite.
   • Try talking to your child to acknowledge their concerns and reassure them that you will love them even if you start dating a new person.
   • You can say something like: “I see that you are afraid that everything will change, but I love you, and it will always be so. I hope you give my new friend a chance. "

Tips

• If you are trying online dating, mention the presence of children in your profile on the site. This will help you immediately weed out any potential partners who are not interested in hanging out with a single mother and pick the best match.
• On dates, don't waste all of your time talking about your child. Use the opportunity to focus on your interests and aspirations that are not related to motherhood.

Warnings

• If your partner is being rude or abusive towards your child, end the relationship.
• Accept the fact that there are people who don't date single parents at all. Some people choose to remain child free. This means that regardless of the reason (s), they made the decision not to have children at all, and that's okay.